Pressure to baptise

Chet T16

Bit of background, I was brought up in a catholic household which I wouldn't class as strict but we were made go to mass every week and accepted what I was being told as the truth.

Fast forward to getting married and as we were getting married abroad we approached the local parish priest about doing so blessing or something as we weren't bringing anyone to the wedding. His attitude towards us as we weren't regular mass goers was pretty shocking - he told us we'd end up hooked on herion in a mental institution if we didn't go to mass. Needless to say we didn't get our blessing and it triggered something in me about religion.

Another few years on and our first child is born. It wasn't even considered that she wouldn't be baptised, just because that's what's you do right? I contacted a priest I knew from my school days who was actually a decent chap and had him come do it in the local church.

We now have baby number 2 and since the first was born I have distanced myself from religion and after much convincing the wife agreed that we wouldn't baptise this one. This was while she was pregnant so about a year ago. My parents weren't very happy when we told them, in fact they seemed happy to pretend I was going to change my mind.

The other night my wife brought it up and wants to get the child baptised. She maintains that the child can make the decision to not be religious when they're older, I say it's impossible to shake it once it's breed into you as it was to me. The thing that annoys me (aside from her changing her mind) is that she says she doesn't even care which religion she belongs to which in my mind seems crazy. Part of me wants to stick to my guns, part of me wants to pick some obscure religion and another part just wants to go down the catholic route of least resistance.

Our first born doesn't have much to do with religion aside from going to mass once in a blue moon with the grandparents. She'll be starting in a church of ireland school in September, picked purely because it's close and mixed.

Sorry about the rambling, the pressure from the wife/parents is annoying me and everyone else is happy to ride the Catholic train so nobody really understands and I needed to vent!

I Heart Internet

It's a pity you had such a bad experience in the run up to your wedding. On a side note, there's a lot of uninformed talk about "blessings" as a kind of non-wedding wedding for people who aren't really kosher with or fans of the RCC. These blessings have no realy basis in church rules and regulations and priests are discouraged (by bishops) from doing them as they tend to be misleading for people. But some priest will do them. Also, the fact that you "weren't bringing anyone to the wedding" is no reason not to have a wedding ceremony according to the liturgy of the RCC. It would take approx 10 mins, if you didn't have a mass (which is an option).

But I would always advise people (myself and my wife did it) to approach your parish priest first (bringing in outside priests complicates things for everyone and risks putting a PP's nose out of joint). Myself and my wife had very different views on the RCC and our place within it. We talked it out with the local PP, were very frank and everything went swimingly from there.

On the baptism front, I suggest the same applies. If you and/or your wife actually DOES want to have your child baptised I'd talk it out with the PP. He is likely to query, of course, why you would want a child baptised if you or your wife are not "practicing" catholics.

Obviously, if you and your wife can't come to an agreement, or if you both decide you don't want a baptism for your child then any conversation is not necessary.

I would suggest that the hardest, but ultimately most fruitful route is to have a full and frank conversation with your wife and come to some kind of agreement. Also, from your OP, your most significant problem with the RCC seems to be that you had a bad experience with a particular priest, I wouldn't let that rule what you want for your child.

Congrats on the new baby btw!

Cabaal

Chet T16 wrote: »

The other night my wife brought it up and wants to get the child baptised. She maintains that the child can make the decision to not be religious when they're older,

Thats not technically true,

They can choose not to follow the religion, but they will still always be on record on school certs etc as being baptised, the church will not change this record. As such your child will always be baptised in the faith you baptise them in.

Another way of putting it to her is why not allow your child to make their own choice when they are older, its unfair to pigeon hole them into a particular faith.

The child should make the decision to be religious when they're older, not pigeon holing them into something that will be extremely difficult to change in future / rescind membership. "Because why not" isn't a good enough reason

Bellatori

I wish to hold my hand up and confess to being a total hypocrite about this issue. I am a dyed in the wool atheist and have been for 40+ years. During that time I married a catholic and did so in a catholic church. I even went to the pre-wedding talks up in London as a requirement to getting wed in the church. Ye gods they were entertaining in a car crash sort of way but that is another story.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, both my children were baptised. I just enjoyed the party... It was what my wife wanted (or more accurately HER mother, whom BTW I absolutely adored) so I went along. I did make it clear that as far as I was concerned that was it. No further nonsense until they were old enough to think for themselves. The outcome is that neither have any interest in religion having had a liberal and good education funnily enough at a CofE school!

The baptism turned out to be quite useful (this is where it gets really embarassing) as my elder daughter wished to marry a Pole (as in Polish and not pole). We had the wedding at Krazycyn Castle in SE Poland. It was a blast. They certainly know how to drink down there. The marriage took place in the local church (thank goodness for the baptismal certificate) and I think that is the only time the happy couple have been near a church... no wait a minute we had a revisit of the ceremony when my grandson was 6 months old for his christening. I still have the hang over! That is the only time my grandson has been in a church.

My other daughter is worried about getting married because the prospective in-laws are fanatic church goers (protestant). It is not that the partner and she will have problems raising kids - he is more atheist than I am - but if the in-laws start unctuating and religifying all over them at the wedding they are afraid I will respond!?

My grandson is now two and a half, talks nineteen to the dozen and, if he gets a bad attack of religion, it will not be due to his upbringing. I babysit him two days a week and we haven't mentioned religion once though he does like Ben and Holly and therefore believes in magic.


My advice therefore is go with the flow. If it keeps everyone happy all the better. Do as I did and extract a commitment that that is it until they are 14. Once they are in their teens they will pay scant respect to anything anyone tells them anyway!!

Cabaal

Bellatori wrote: »

The baptism turned out to be quite useful..........The marriage took place in the local church (thank goodness for the baptismal certificate)

But you can get baptised into a faith even if you're 30 etc,

So not having a baptismal certificate when you're a child has zero affect on your ability to marry in a religious marriage in a church in later life, you make it sound like it would have when in fact it would have had none

If anything I believe there's more work involved if a person wants to convert from one faith to another, then from no faith to a faith.

Yeah there's no time limit on baptism

Bellatori

Cabaal wrote: »

But you can get baptised into a faith even if you're 30 etc,

So not having a baptismal certificate when you're a child has zero affect on your ability to marry in a religious marriage in a church in later life, you make it sound like it would have when in fact it would have had none

If anything I believe there's more work involved if a person wants to convert from one faith to another, then from no faith to a faith.

Of course you can but believe me when I say that it would have complicated matters no end in Poland.

Cabaal

Bellatori wrote: »

Of course you can but believe me when I say that it would have complicated matters no end in Poland.

But its still not a good enough reason,

What if she married a Muslim and was living in Poland? She'd have to convert and you've made the process that little bit more complicated.

You can't (as you are aware) simply assume the kid you baptise in one faith will only marry somebody of that same faith.

Its better to allow them to make their own decisions when they are old enough to make it, this is especially true if you don't actually plan on going to mass etc with them every week.

eviltwin

Bellatori wrote: »

Of course you can but believe me when I say that it would have complicated matters no end in Poland.

Did you have a crystal ball or something when she was born? She might have ended up single or gay or married an irish bloke.

Back to the op, I would not baptise due to outside pressure, I would only do something because it felt right to me. Just out of interest what is your partners reason for wanting to have the baptism now?

Chet T16

bluewolf wrote: »

The child should make the decision to be religious when they're older, not pigeon holing them into something that will be extremely difficult to change in future / rescind membership. "Because why not" isn't a good enough reason

This is my reasoning. I likened it to teaching them how to speak french then giving them the choice to speak a different language when they've grown up a bit.

My own opinion now is that its all nonsense but I was never going to force this on the kids but I find myself having to retaliate (probably a bad word) when our 4 year old says things like "grandad says holy mary will keep me safe" which completely goes against what I asked them to not do.

Cabaal

Chet T16 wrote: »

My own opinion now is that its all nonsense but I was never going to force this on the kids but I find myself having to retaliate (probably a bad word) when our 4 year old says things like "grandad says holy mary will keep me safe" which completely goes against what I asked them to not do.

The problem here is if you do go and baptise your kid into that faith then you swear to raise that kid in that faith, so its not a good start that you lie to everyone present for starters....including your child (even if they don't understand you )

at the end of the day its your kid, you'll raise it, you instill value's and if you don't believe in the stuff with a specific religion then you have to ask yourself the question.....why agree to raise them in that religion?

If in the morning your other halfs parents were Muslims and wanted you agree to raise your child in the Islamic faith, would you?

Chet T16

eviltwin wrote: »

Back to the op, I would not baptise due to outside pressure, I would only do something because it felt right to me. Just out of interest what is your partners reason for wanting to have the baptism now?

I think she always wanted to and maybe figured I would come around. My niece is also being baptised this weekend which might have fueled it. To be honest I don't think she knows where she lies which the religion thing as she can be back and forwards with her views. Mostly she says that she thinks there's "something" there and would like the child looked after should they die.

Dades

Sounds to me like your wife just wants to conform, maybe get relatives off her back or have a party. Certainly nothing anyone has said would be even close to being a valid reason to baptise the child.

Baptising a child so they can choose when they're older is a complete contradiction. You can be baptised at any age, but as far as the church is concerned you can never be unbaptised.

Given that there isn't an issue with schools you have a wonderful opportunity to stand up for your principles and show a certain demographic that the world has changed. I didn't have that luxury myself, with a nominally catholic wife and an oversubscribed, RC run local school.

If you wife continues to insist - I suggest you strongly question her motives.

I Heart Internet

Chet T16 wrote: »

This is my reasoning. I likened it to teaching them how to speak french then giving them the choice to speak a different language when they've grown up a bit.

Mmmmm...not sure about your analogy there.

Surely a french speaking 12 year old is still a major plus...event if he decides he wants to learn spanish when he's 12?

Bellatori

Chet T16 wrote: »

...when our 4 year old says things like "grandad says holy mary will keep me safe" which completely goes against what I asked them to not do.

That, actually, is a completely different issue. I was fortunate that my mother-in-law respected our wishes on the matter. It can be very difficult. So can the conversations that you end up having with relatives who think they know best. One Aunt did not speak to us for a number of years after my wife, very carefully I might add, asked her for the umpteenth time to stop.

In the end it is a trade off. What harm you think it may do your child to be baptised (none worth speaking of in the case of my two) against accommodating family.

shruikan2553

What is the exact reason for her warning a baptism? Unless she plans to raise the child as a catholic it doesn't matter.

Cabaal

Chet T16 wrote: »

Mostly she says that she thinks there's "something" there and would like the child looked after should they die.

Ok thats fine, she's not religious as such but she believes something is there...nothing at all wrong with that,

What about looking into a humanists naming ceremony with a spiritual aspect?

Although its about weddings have a read of http://www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/features/so-what-exactly-are-humanists-222965.html

“A lot of people said that they hadn’t been to a humanist ceremony previously. People think it’s hippy-dippy but it’s not. A lot of people commented after the ceremony that it was so personal,” she says.

Although not closely involved with humanism in any way, atheists Harry Walsh and Tracey Johnston recently had a naming ceremony for their baby son, Oscar. “Both of our families were looking with expectation for us to do something to mark the occasion. My parents aren’t particularly religious and Tracey’s would be very religious,” says Walsh.

McElligott officiated at the ceremony, where family members did readings. Oscar’s parents read excerpts from Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata and from Ode to the Duty of Parents by Frances Cornford.

It might be a far far more meaningful option for the two of you, you'll have far more input on what is said as well.

Chet T16

I Heart Internet wrote: »

Mmmmm...not sure about your analogy there.

Surely a french speaking 12 year old is still a major plus...event if he decides he wants to learn spanish when he's 12?

My point was that if a child was raised speaking french and you asked them what language they wanted to speak they're going to stick with french

I Heart Internet

Chet T16 wrote: »

My point was that if a child was raised speaking french and you asked them what language they wanted to speak they're going to stick with french

Not necessarily, they might be tired of french, and would have the language sills to pick up a new language. And would have benefited from the intellectual and cultural advantages of learning french.

Chet T16

Bellatori wrote: »

That, actually, is a completely different issue. I was fortunate that my mother-in-law respected our wishes on the matter. It can be very difficult. So can the conversations that you end up having with relatives who think they know best. One Aunt did not speak to us for a number of years after my wife, very carefully I might add, asked her for the umpteenth time to stop.

In the end it is a trade off. What harm you think it may do your child to be baptised (none worth speaking of in the case of my two) against accommodating family.

It's really a matter of principle and the thoughts of adding to the numbers "just because" doesn't sit well. In my eyes that's the reason I'm put in this situation

vibe666

Cabaal wrote: »

So not having a baptismal certificate when you're a child has zero affect on your ability to marry in a religious marriage in a church in later life, you make it sound like it would have when in fact it would have had none

unfortunately for now though, it DOES have a significant impact on what schools they can attend, with 90% of them being of the catholic "ethos".

whether or not that is still the case when it is time for them to attend school is another matter, but unless you know you have an educate together school nearby, you may find yourself stuck.

neither of our kids are baptised and i don't plan on doing it any time soon, but it may well limit our schooling choices when the time comes.

we just had a quiet civil ceremony in ireland with a couple of witnesses and then invited 50 friends and family to the algarve and had a (non-religious) ceremony and blessing there and it was amazing AND we were able to keep the in-laws away from the organisational part of it, so not a catholic priest or church in sight!

Cabaal

vibe666 wrote: »

unfortunately for now though, it DOES have a significant impact on what schools they can attend, with 90% of them being of the catholic "ethos".

OP is using church of Ireland school,

So thats not a concern for the op as the school will accept their child and not do the whole confirmation/communion thing.

Bellatori

Chet T16 wrote: »

It's really a matter of principle and the thoughts of adding to the numbers "just because" doesn't sit well. In my eyes that's the reason I'm put in this situation

I absolutely sympathise with you... I did warn at the start that I was going to be a hypocrite over this issue

In my opinion, the issue is not really a christening because the children have no knowledge and the parents are the ones that are the guardians. The only worry I have ever had is the 'Argumentum as Verecundiam' that comes later. Children are very susceptible to the appeal to authority that adults often use. If your children go to a catholic school they will be hard put to avoid it.

I did think Cabaal's post about a humanis ceremony was interesting and, after all, most christenings (and weddings and funerals?) are simply a great get together of relations that mainly you like .

shamrock55

My 2 are baptised but i couldnt give a rats arse about religon and its a good excuse for a family get together, at the end of the day there is no harm done, if they want to be religous in the future thats up to them, if not thats fine too

wrt40

We get the odd wise crack from the in-laws every now and again. They know my strong feelings on it and always back down once I challenge their snide remarks. And now he is going to a non denominational school we get the whole "he'll be held back by the foreigners" remarks (sure they can't even speak English :rolleyes:) and the look of disgust on their faces when I corrected them on their remarks that they are "taught to be atheists" and pointed out that they actually learn about all the religions. Yes, even the "foreign" ones. And no we are not hypocrites by doing Christmas. It was a winter festival before Christians hijacked it and we take all the festivities and strip out the religion. Find me one child where it's not all about Santa anyway.

Cabaal

shamrock55 wrote: »

My 2 are baptised but i couldnt give a rats arse about religon and its a good excuse for a family get together, at the end of the day there is no harm done, if they want to be religous in the future thats up to them, if not thats fine too

But you're missing the point,
You've now given them no choice, one way or another they will always remain part of the faith you baptised them into...the cert will always remain.

doing it because you don't care or "just cause" is not a good enough reason to force your child into a faith at a age they can't understand it.

If you just want a get together then there are plenty of options available,

CelticRambler

Bellatori wrote: »

The baptism turned out to be quite useful (this is where it gets really embarassing) as my elder daughter wished to marry a Pole ... The marriage took place in the local church (thank goodness for the baptismal certificate) and I think that is the only time the happy couple have been near a church... no wait a minute we had a revisit of the ceremony when my grandson was 6 months old for his christening. I still have the hang over! That is the only time my grandson has been in a church.

That's exactly the kind of attitude the RC Church is trying to get rid of, and I don't blame them for clamping down. If you're not prepared to subscribe to the whole package, then don't expect to be allowed cherry pick some bits just because they look good on video. :mad:

Baptism under the age of 5-ish makes no difference whatsoever to the child, which is why the Church has confirmation, so unless the parents are going to actively pass on their own religious beliefs, there's no basis for it.

gctest50

You might be able to download the cert and photoshop it - ( eg something a bit less dippy that this : http://bit.ly/1wrY0Ra )

Its about on the same level as letters to Santa anyway

truedoom

I'd say get it done, tis a day out.

I didn't have a normal baptism, as in i was blessed in an incubator when i was born (premature).

This made it really awkward when it came to communion and confirmation.

I still recall being 11 or so and trying to explain to a dunderhead of a teacher why i had no photo's of my baptism for the confirmation boards in school (was some thing they did in my school).

The feeling of being left out or different sucks!

truedoom

truedoom wrote: »

The feeling of being left out or different sucks!

That is the most ridiculous reason to do anything ever
Not everyone in a school is christian anyway

Cabaal

truedoom wrote: »

I'd say get it done, tis a day out.

So an excuse for a meetup and potential piss-up?

You can arrange that without involving a religion

This made it really awkward when it came to communion and confirmation.

OP says they are going to a church of ireland school so neither will be a problem

I still recall being 11 or so and trying to explain to a dunderhead of a teacher why i had no photo's of my baptism for the confirmation boards in school (was some thing they did in my school).

The feeling of being left out or different sucks!

So an uneducated teacher and "feeling left out" are reason enough?
:eek:

If 60% of the class were Jewish or Muslim would you change your child's faith so they are not "left out"?

None of the reasons you've stated are the right reasons for doing it, the proper reasons for entering your child into a faith are:
- You do it because you believe in the faith,
- You do it because you want your child raised in the faith you believe in, you believe this faith to be the one true faith
- You plan on raising your child in that faith, that includes going to mass...believing in Jesus, Virgin Mary, Holy Spirit etc

I Heart Internet

truedoom wrote: »

I didn't have a normal baptism, as in i was blessed in an incubator when i was born (premature).

You were baptised in the incubator, I would guess, not just baptised.

Any Christian can baptise someone with plain water over the noggin and saying "I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit." Boom, you're done.

Bellatori

CelticRambler wrote: »

That's exactly the kind of attitude the RC Church is trying to get rid of, and I don't blame them for clamping down. If you're not prepared to subscribe to the whole package, then don't expect to be allowed cherry pick some bits just because they look good on video. :mad:...

You are having a laugh

Why not? They charged enough. It is run like a business. It is alleged that as much as 30% of the Polish economy is siphoned off by the church!! You could see the cash registers behind the priests eyes go kerching when he realised it was a local village boy with a foreign family.

Anyway the video was effing brilliant

shamrock55

Cabaal wrote: »

But you're missing the point,
You've now given them no choice, one way or another they will always remain part of the faith you baptised them into...the cert will always remain.

doing it because you don't care or "just cause" is not a good enough reason to force your child into a faith at a age they can't understand it.

If you just want a get together then there are plenty of options available,

You only remain as part of the faith if you buy into it, if i buy my young fella a liverpool jersey when he is born and in 10 yrs time he decides he wants to support someone else, or nobody at all thats his choice, being baptised can be undone you are not in it for life

Cabaal

shamrock55 wrote: »

You only remain as part of the faith if you buy into it, if i buy my young fella a liverpool jersey when he is born and in 10 yrs time he decides he wants to support someone else, or nobody at all thats his choice, being baptised can be undone you are not in it for life

The catholic church says otherwise,
They can never technically leave, they'll always be baptised and on their books as such. Your child can never change this, you've taken that choice away from them.

Since you mentioned Liverpool supporting as a comparison, would you start saying your child is a Liverpool supporter and stick them in a jersey take photos of them and sign them up for club membership from the age of three months, even if you didn't care for Liverpool or even football?

Makes as much sense as what you've done with christening your child, since you have no interest in it

eyescreamcone

wrt40 wrote: »

We get the odd wise crack from the in-laws every now and again. They know my strong feelings on it and always back down once I challenge their snide remarks. And now he is going to a non denominational school we get the whole "he'll be held back by the foreigners" remarks (sure they can't even speak English :rolleyes:) and the look of disgust on their faces when I corrected them on their remarks that they are "taught to be atheists" and pointed out that they actually learn about all the religions. Yes, even the "foreign" ones. And no we are not hypocrites by doing Christmas. It was a winter festival before Christians hijacked it and we take all the festivities and strip out the religion. Find me one child where it's not all about Santa anyway.

Can Australian atheists claim this when they are celebrating xmas?

wrt40

Cabaal wrote: »

The catholic church says otherwise,
You can never leave, you'll always be baptised and on their books as such. Your child can never change this, you've taken that choice away from them.

Since you mentioned Liverpool supporting as a comparison, would you start saying your child is a Liverpool supporter and stick them in a jersey take photos of them and sign them up for club membership from the age of three months, even if you didn't care for Liverpool or even football?

Makes as much sense as what you've done with christening your child, since you have no interest in it

If becoming a Liverpool fan involved a big knees up then yeah most people probably would.

Cabaal

wrt40 wrote: »

If becoming a Liverpool fan involved a big knees up then yeah most people probably would.

Again we're back to stupid reasons for being entered into a religion,
Its up there with doing communion cause your kid wants to wear a nice dress or a suit for a day,

Next you'll be suggesting somebody should enter the Muslim faith because they want to avoid pork,
:rolleyes:

wrt40

eyescreamcone wrote: »

Can Australian atheists claim this when they are celebrating xmas?

No but they're too busy enjoying the sun, bbq and beer to give a castlemaine XXXX what anyone thinks.

TwoShedsJackson

shamrock55 wrote: »

You only remain as part of the faith if you buy into it, if i buy my young fella a liverpool jersey when he is born and in 10 yrs time he decides he wants to support someone else, or nobody at all thats his choice, being baptised can be undone you are not in it for life

It can't be undone - the RCC will count the child as a member permanently. You used to be able to get out of it, until they conveniently changed 'canon law' to disallow this.

And if your response to that is 'well that doesn't matter sure religion is all in your head!', then why get the child baptised in the first place?

Bellatori

TwoShedsJackson wrote: »

...And if your response to that is 'well that doesn't matter sure religion is all in your head!', then why get the child baptised in the first place?

Keep the wife happy... keep the family happy at no cost (well except for the piss up!). Shrug and move on. Who cares what the RCC think if you do not believe in god. You get a fancy bit of paper (which may serendipitously come in handy) and a candle for when there is a power cut.

If you are an atheist then it is all meaningless mumbo jumbo and our lives contain a fair amount of that already so a bit more is not going to make any difference. It is not as though the child were going to be circumcised!

shamrock55

Cabaal wrote: »

Again we're back to stupid reasons for being entered into a religion,
Its up there with doing communion cause your kid wants to wear a nice dress or a suit for a day,

Next you'll be suggesting somebody should enter the Muslim faith because they want to avoid pork,
:rolleyes:

Were you baptised? I was and it doesnt bother me in the slightest, i have zero interest in religon whatsoever, i wont force my kids to be practicing catholics just like mine didnt with me, but you may ask why have your kids baptised if you have no interest, i just say why not it doesnt mean they have to be devout catholics or anything, there is no harm in it

Katie1289

bluewolf wrote: »

That is the most ridiculous reason to do anything ever
Not everyone in a school is christian anyway

I disagree. Not when you're very young it can actually have untoward affects on a child.

rainbow kirby

truedoom wrote: »

I'd say get it done, tis a day out.

I didn't have a normal baptism, as in i was blessed in an incubator when i was born (premature).

This made it really awkward when it came to communion and confirmation.

I still recall being 11 or so and trying to explain to a dunderhead of a teacher why i had no photo's of my baptism for the confirmation boards in school (was some thing they did in my school).

The feeling of being left out or different sucks!

This post encapsulates an awful lot of what's wrong with Irish society...

Cabaal

shamrock55 wrote: »

Were you baptised? I was and it doesnt bother me in the slightest, i have zero interest in religon whatsoever, i wont force my kids to be practicing catholics just like mine didnt with me,

But you may ask why have your kids baptised if you have no interest, i just say why not it doesnt mean they have to be devout catholics or anything, there is no harm in it

I was, it does bother me and I'm annoyed that I can no longer disconnected from the catholic church since they changed canon law.

Its disappointing that a day out and a piss up appear to be reason enough to enter your kids into a religion.

Seems to me that if anyone baptizes their kid but has no intention to raise them in the faith then its poor form as they've lied to themselves, family, relatives and priest saying they'll raise their child in the catholic faith when they clearly have no intention to do so....not the best example to set for the next generation.

You claim there's no harm in it but you are incorrect in that assumption, your actions give power to the catholic church in Ireland they also ensure your kid is likely to do communion etc in school. This reenforced the apparent but false "need" for catholic ethos in state run schools.

shamrock55

I forgot about communion thats another excuse for a piss up:)

Virgil°

shamrock55 wrote: »

Were you baptised? I was and it doesnt bother me in the slightest, i have zero interest in religon whatsoever, i wont force my kids to be practicing catholics just like mine didnt with me, but you may ask why have your kids baptised if you have no interest, i just say why not it doesnt mean they have to be devout catholics or anything, there is no harm in it

This is all well and good for you, that you're not bothered. But you're only considering how you feel.

What happens if the child turns out to be homosexual or of any persuasion the church don't agree with?
You have then irreversibly signed them into a religion which assumes their consent and uses it to actively interfere in politics, attempting to deny their basic human rights. That's just one example i can think of.

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Based on the appalling attitudes of the Catholic church towards children's rights, gays and women I do not want any child of mine getting baptized. That's beside the fact that they peddle absolute fairy stories but that's for another thread. The mother in law will probably stop speaking to me when she finds out so its win-win really.

eyescreamcone

There are plenty of sheep out there who go along with what Mammy wants for a quiet life.

Grow a pair and man up!

If you don't want your kid baptised then state clearly that this is what is going to happen.

The religionists have been bullying for too long.


We had a naming ceremony (excuse for a party) for number 1.

The same will happen for any other numbers.

There was no pressure to baptise...they knew better!

I didn't want to get my second child baptised, but my non Catholic Husband insisted, as he didn't want one to be different to the other, so I agreed to the baptism. I also went along with First Communion, but when it cxame to Confirmation, it was on the understanding that if THEY wanted it, they had to come to Mass with me every Sunday for the year beforehand. I no longer practice, so this was a commitment from me too. This they agreed to do and were among the few who made their Confirmation to do attend Mass regularly. They no longer practice regularly, but are both very Christian in their outlook. I don't regret getting both baptised, but as I said, I continued the Religious instruction up to Confirmation stage and leave the rest up to them. It is important to keep in mind that it's not just a Baptism, you must be prepared to commit at least until First Communion stage.
By the way, we've never gone in for the big party or money. We did what the child wanted on the day - just the 4 of us. Only you and your Wife can make the decision, but don't feel pressurised to do something you are not happy with.