Deciding if someone is in need or a crackpot / scammer

yeahimhere

At 5.30 this morning I was woken by knocking on my front door. Slightly groggy I looked out my bedroom window to see if I knew who it was, couldn't get a good look so went into another upstairs room for a better view.

It was a girl in her mid or so twenties, tried to get a rough gage of how she looked to see what might be up. Didn't look like she was dressed like she was coming from a night out - just flat runners, skinny jeans a jacket and over sized slightly tacky leopard print bag and either a cast or bandage around her left hand. She wasn't holding her bandaged hand so didn't seem like a recent injury. Assumed she wasn't driving i.e broke down and looking for help as she wouldn't be able to drive with the hand. She didn't look panicked, but had a little wobble - maybe had a few drinks or otherwise.

Now I live in the countryside, it's not a road you'd just randomly walk down to get from A to B. The house isn't the most inviting to walk into either - there's a large gate that was closed over which she had to open to get in. There's other houses on a row next to us that if I was looking for help, I'd try instead. Also if she was coming from the other direction, 200m before us she would have met houses there also. I was alone in the house so was deciding what to do when she let out two loud cries, not like she was sobbing, just wailing. It sounded attention seeking rather than a normal cry.

So, my gut instinct was not to engage with her as something just didn't seem right so I ignored the knocks and doorbell and let her walk on up the road again looking into her phone. The incident only lasted 5mins after I woke but after watching crimecall tonight it's on my mind if I did the right thing? I usually trust my gut instinct however it may be tainted somewhat by the fact that we've had an attempted break in a few months ago and interrupted some others "wandering" around in the past.

TL:DR; Someone knocking on your door, how do you judge if someone is genuinely in need of help versus completely regretting possibly letting a stranger into your house?

Un Croissant

Spooky OP.



That is all.

Mr. Incognito

Sounds like she was in shock.

I would have opened the door

Teagwee

yeahimhere wrote: »

TL:DR; Someone knocking on your door, how do you judge if someone is genuinely in need of help versus completely regretting possibly letting a stranger into your house?

The trouble is that you can't tell - since it was 5.30am and you were on your own, you did the right thing IMO. I certainly wouldn't have let her in. Best you could have done was speak to her out a window and offer to make a phonecall for her.

B.A._Baracus

You have to be careful opening the door to random strangers at night. it's a no brainer :pac: However, you can easily shout down from an upstairs window or safely behind the locked door to see whats going on.


So Op, whilst you were security conscious (a good thing) you were right by the fecking window. You easily could have shouted down. No one is saying invite her in (it is an old trick) but if she needed the guards all you do is "hold on love, stay there, i'll grab my mobile"

Also because knocking of someones house is also an old trick to see if someone is in before breaking in.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Sulla Felix

Probably droogs looking to indulge their taste for ultra-violence. Keep those doors locked OP.

dee_mc

At that time of the morning I wouldn't be surprised if she'd tried the other nearby houses and hadn't had a response as people were sleeping.
I'd have done my best to ascertain what was wrong I.e. asked if someone was following her. I can't imagine just ignoring someone in that state to be honest, although I wouldn't be welcoming them into the house with open arms.

The Backwards Man

Was the phone switched on? Be daylight at that time though, might be hard to tell if it was switched on I suppose.

yeahimhere

Teagwee wrote: »

The trouble is that you can't tell - since it was 5.30am and you were on your own, you did the right thing IMO. I certainly wouldn't have let her in. Best you could have done was speak to her out a window and offer to make a phonecall for her.

Yeah I'm agreeing with this to be honest. I should have really talked to her out the window but in those few minutes I was weighing up the options and then she was gone.

Because of our earlier incidents, I think I was weighing up the worse case scenario's rather than what her issue may be and didn't do the simple thing.

yeahimhere

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Was the phone switched on? Be daylight at that time though, might be hard to tell if it was switched on I suppose.

T'was daylight, couldn't tell if it was on but she was pressing it - either battery died and trying to turn it on again or texting someone. Can't be sure.

The Backwards Man

dee_mc wrote: »

At that time of the morning I wouldn't be surprised if she'd tried the other nearby houses and hadn't had a response as people were sleeping.
I'd have done my best to ascertain what was wrong I.e. asked if someone was following her. I can't imagine just ignoring someone in that state to be honest, although I wouldn't be welcoming them into the house with open arms.

Depends on the circumstances too though, I know where I live if anyone came to my house in the middle of the night that I didn't know it's likely they weren't up to anything good.

Teagwee

yeahimhere wrote: »

Yeah I'm agreeing with this to be honest. I should have really talked to her out the window but in those few minutes I was weighing up the options and then she was gone.

Because of our earlier incidents, I think I was weighing up the worse case scenario's rather than what her issue may be and didn't do the simple thing.

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself - it's easy to be wise after the event and with the break-in history and your isolation it was understandable. It's sad really that we can't afford to engage our humanitarian instincts at these times for fear of consequences

The Backwards Man

Teagwee wrote: »

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself - it's easy to be wise after the event and with the break-in history and your isolation it was understandable. It's sad really that we can't afford to engage our humanitarian instincts at these times for fear of consequences

Agree with that, all you can do really is follow your gut instinct.

yeahimhere

dee_mc wrote: »

At that time of the morning I wouldn't be surprised if she'd tried the other nearby houses and hadn't had a response as people were sleeping.
I'd have done my best to ascertain what was wrong I.e. asked if someone was following her. I can't imagine just ignoring someone in that state to be honest, although I wouldn't be welcoming them into the house with open arms.

She didn't seem like she was being followed anyway. She wasn't in anyway panicked and walked up the road in a calm manner. If someone was following me I wouldn't take the time to open a heavy gate (there's three things you need to do to open the gate) with an injured hand. I'd choose a house that didn't have an obstacle to get through.

As above, I acknowledge that I should have talked to her out the window to ascertain what was wrong but some things (albeit in my sleepy brain) didn't sit right so I didn't.

Zambia

In all cases you gauge all things considered including the obvious angle of can you handle yourself.

Little things like opening the door a crack with your foot securing it.

Telling them to step back if they get to close to you.

If she was in trouble your only obligation is to call 999.

However I know a lot of young people these days would be that distraught if the battery in their smart phones died.

discus

You have your own safety to worry about OP. I used to be a good samaritan, I've learned my lesson now though.

dee_mc

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Depends on the circumstances too though, I know where I live if anyone came to my house in the middle of the night that I didn't know it's likely they weren't up to anything good.

I live in the middle of nowhere too, it would be pretty unusual for someone to appear here in similar circumstances!
I'm a cautious softy: I'd still be for trying to find out what the story was, but I'd have the door locked nonetheless

kikidelvin

I think you done the right thing.I would not like it if I was woken op at 05-30.by a complete stranger .Anyhow what was she doing out at that time of the morning ?Very suss.

Zambia

Op buy a good door chain

Pat Mustard

yeahimhere wrote: »

TL:DR; Someone knocking on your door, how do you judge if someone is genuinely in need of help versus completely regretting possibly letting a stranger into your house?

Strange, alright. I'd have asked what she wanted anyway. She'd want to have had a good excuse to call at that hour, though.

yeahimhere

Zambia wrote: »

Op buy a good door chain

Anyone we know comes to the back door, normal country style living :P So anyone who rings the door bell is automatically an unusual guest treated with suspicion!

Sir Arthur Daley

I would have the .223 pointed at them.

Pat Mustard

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

I would have the .223 pointed at them.

Or you could stay in bed.

foggy_lad

Smithers, RELEASE THE HOUNDS!

Sir Arthur Daley

The Mustard wrote: »

Or you could stay in bed.

If I were to stay in bed they would be greeted with husqy t536i.

cerastes

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

You have to be careful opening the door to random strangers at night. it's a no brainer :pac: However, you can easily shout down from an upstairs window or safely behind the locked door to see whats going on.


So Op, whilst you were security conscious (a good thing) you were right by the fecking window. You easily could have shouted down. No one is saying invite her in (it is an old trick) but if she needed the guards all you do is "hold on love, stay there, i'll grab my mobile"

Also because knocking of someones house is also an old trick to see if someone is in before breaking in.

Get a bit of that suspect callers selling stuff at times people might not be around, Id be wary its more a cover for sussing out places and the side benefit of selling a bit of tat. Why I dont like seeing people leave their hand me downs for charity on the side of the road to be collected, encourages people to come around looking.
I used to ignore callers at the door, but from time to time I just look out the window to see who it is, be seen and ignore them.

Zambia wrote: »

In all cases you gauge all things considered including the obvious angle of can you handle yourself.

Little things like opening the door a crack with your foot securing it.

Telling them to step back if they get to close to you.

If she was in trouble your only obligation is to call 999.

However I know a lot of young people these days would be that distraught if the battery in their smart phones died.

I wouldnt be opening the door to some honey trap at that hour if I was in the middle of nowhere, assuming its not some scam and the door isnt kicked in by someone else,leaving yourself open to other problems too.

Zambia wrote: »

Op buy a good door chain

Those yokes are useless id say, chain might be ok, but whats it secured to or by? best figure it out from the window and call the emergency services if they need assistance.
Id be inclined to find out what was up/make it known someone was present.

gctest50

this is the door chain you need

one of these :

http://www.ebay.com/itm/KRYPTONITE-KryptoFlex-410-Double-Loop-Cable-120cm-x-10mm-4-x-3-8-210818-/151268667392?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item233850b000

bolt it to the opening side of the door frame/wall

put some sort of hook on the hinge side of the frame to hook it to before you open the door

Aongus Von Bismarck

I am really curious what she wanted. I'll be thinking about this for ages.

Sir Arthur Daley

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I am really curious what she wanted. I'll be thinking about this for ages.

Maybe she was not a she?

yeahimhere

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

I am really curious what she wanted. I'll be thinking about this for ages.

I'm caught between a few reasons;

Honest;

- she was at a house party, couldn't afford a taxi / thrown out by a taxi and battery died / just wandering. Wanted to ring someone / kip somewhere

- Argument with a boyfriend, no way home

- mental issues, went wandering waaaay out of town and looking for help.

Dishonest;

- Try to get in the house to call someone. That someone was a van with a few lads and she'd faint or something as they came so they'd "have" to come inside to help her out. Ensue issue robbing us

- Non threatening female. Checking out the house to see what was inside for a later robbing.

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Maybe she was not a she?

While not definitely, most probably a she.

Sir Arthur Daley

Anyone could put on a female voice and sound pretty.

Pat Mustard

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

If I were to stay in bed they would be greeted with husqy t536i.

You have a robot guard dog? Fair play.

Shanotheslayer

Few weeks ago I heard a knock on the door around 10:30. Was a very light knock, normally I don't answer the door but i had suspicions as to why someone was knocking this late and went out. Looked out peep hole, and saw a woman. Opened it and within seconds, I could tell something was up, started saying boyfriend beat her up etc etc. I was having none of it, closed door told her to jog on. So ran upstairs anyway and looked out the window, she was signalling to a car down the road, car just drove off after the signal. While watching anyway, she knocked on a door few doors down and that neighbour kept her talking for awhile, car came back to end of road obviously waiting for a signal. But I rang the guards anyway and they got her.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Mustard wrote: »

You have a robot guard dog? Fair play.

No its a husqvarna battery top handle saw, its a p.o.s up a tree but for the 15 mins it lasts it could prove invaluable.

The Backwards Man

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Anyone could put on a female voice and sound pretty.

Hey sexy.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Hey sexy.

How are you love?

Is it me you are looking for?

yeahimhere

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

Few weeks ago I heard a knock on the door around 10:30. Was a very light knock, normally I don't answer the door but i had suspicions as to why someone was knocking this late and went out. Looked out peep hole, and saw a woman. Opened it and within seconds, I could tell something was up, started saying boyfriend beat her up etc etc. I was having none of it, closed door told her to jog on. So ran upstairs anyway and looked out the window, she was signalling to a car down the road, car just drove off after the signal. While watching anyway, she knocked on a door few doors down and that neighbour kept her talking for awhile, car came back to end of road obviously waiting for a signal. But I rang the guards anyway and they got her.

Come to think of it, that's an issue I had with the sound of the "wail" rather than a cry she had, it sounded disingenuous rather than an actual upset cry. She let out that cry after I looked through the window and wasn't sure if she saw me, if she saw me, it seemed like she was seeking attention in an odd way. Add that with her bandaged hand, it didn't sit right.

The Backwards Man

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

How are you love?

Is it me you are looking for?

I can see it in your eyes

Mech1

Public transport from that 1D gig was pis* poor,

There is a thread about it on here somewhere.

The Diabolical Monocle

"I was alone in the house"
"I live in the countryside, it's not a road you'd just randomly walk down to get from A to B"
You mention other nearby houses that are easier to access.
Yet she just so happens to call to the one with one person inside.

This all sets off my spider senses,

OP - if you normally live alone you've just had a very close call.


Visible injury and tears. awww.

Zambia

yeahimhere wrote: »

Come to think of it, that's an issue I had with the sound of the "wail" rather than a cry she had, it sounded disingenuous rather than an actual upset cry. She let out that cry after I looked through the window and wasn't sure if she saw me, if she saw me, it seemed like she was seeking attention in an odd way. Add that with her bandaged hand, it didn't sit right.

Yeah sounds like she was out of battery.

yeahimhere

Zambia wrote: »

Yeah sounds like she was out of battery.

Probably, "hear hoofs, don't think zebra" comes to mind. I probably was going for the worst case scenario.

Zambia

yeahimhere wrote: »

Probably, "hear hoofs, don't think zebra" comes to mind. I probably was going for the worst case scenario.

You never know .

I know a bloke who works for the 000 service here (999). Several people in the suburbs call police when there is a knock on the door at night and they are not expecting anyone.

"Hello police"
"Hi there is someone knocking at my door and I don't know who it is"
"Have you had a look out?"
"No they could be anyone"

meoklmrk91

You followed your gut instinct OP, I think you did the right thing. I live alone and don't think that you can be too careful. I never open the front door to anyone without opening a window and sticking my head out to see who it is.

FullblownRose

yeahimhere wrote: »

She didn't seem like she was being followed anyway. She wasn't in anyway panicked and walked up the road in a calm manner. If someone was following me I wouldn't take the time to open a heavy gate (there's three things you need to do to open the gate) with an injured hand. I'd choose a house that didn't have an obstacle to get through.

As above, I acknowledge that I should have talked to her out the window to ascertain what was wrong but some things (albeit in my sleepy brain) didn't sit right so I didn't.

You should always go with your gut instinct, it's all you have in a weird unprecedented situation like yours. I suppose you could ring your local garda station and let them know, just in case she's unwell or something and people are looking for her, or in case there is some kind of scam going on in your area.

I've just remembered a few months back, some fella called to the door at night. He hadn't knocked, My dog barked so I looked out through the glass in the door, and couldn't see anything, then noticed him standing just to the left of the glass. I got such a fright I screamed, and after a moment he said ''Sorry..I have a delivery for you'' or something, through the door. He was standing there with some kind of sports bag open in his hands but nothing like a courier or pizza delivery or anything like that. I don't think I answered, as it was all a bit weird, Then I think he said he was at the wrong house and went away.

SEPT 23 1989

You open the door and the group of men in the bushes rush the door tie you up and rob everything in the house

you did the right thing

Babooshka

FullblownRose wrote: »

You should always go with your gut instinct, it's all you have in a weird unprecedented situation like yours. .

But also remember too that people have a gut instinct to help others. That's what those scumbags depend on when taking advantage of people's kindness. So much stuff happening lately that I would think twice about what my gut instinct would normally tell me to do i.e. help someone who seems in distress. Think I would walk away instead now as I am a lot more suspicious of people than I used to be.

FullblownRose

Babooshka wrote: »

But also remember too that people have a gut instinct to help others. That's what those scumbags depend on when taking advantage of people's kindness. So much stuff happening lately that I would think twice about what my gut instinct would normally tell me to do i.e. help someone who seems in distress. Think I would walk away instead now as I am a lot more suspicious of people than I used to be.

That's true. I guess op's overriding instinct was that there was something not right about it but it could've been different and who knows what would've happened..I think it's what makes you decide on the spot whether something is dangerous or not

Babooshka

FullblownRose wrote: »

That's true. I guess op's overriding instinct was that there was something not right about it but it could've been different and who knows what would've happened..I think it's what makes you decide on the spot whether something is dangerous or not

True, you don't always get time to go against your initial gut instinct. There will be a lot more of it by the time this country gets financial stability back.

nc19

Far too many bleeding hearts on this forum imo.

i would not have even gotten out of bed tbh.

So, you open the door and in burst a gang of scummers to do god knows what or she gives you a sob story then when your backs turned she nicks your money etc or something has happened to her and you are now involved and cant go back to bed.

Whatever way it would have played out it would have inconvenienced you. Not worth it imo.