What's the most hilariously stupid thing you've seen someone do?

Hotale.com

Mine isn't great but surely AH has some good ones

A good few years ago we went to my Nan's house on Easter, and we were all having dinner and there wasn't enough room at the table in the dining room so me and a few of my cousins were eating in the sitting room, which my Nan used to sleep in because she couldn't get up the stairs anymore.

There weren't any tables so we just put our plates on our laps, until my brother had the wonderful idea of finding somewhere to rest his plate on. After a few seconds of observing his surroundings he found a "suitable" surface; my grandmother's commode which was still in use. The thought of it makes me queasy :eek:

I've never let him forget it, the manky idiot

stefan idiot jones

Again ?

Titzon Toast

I saw a complete gob****e hand a lit birthday candle to a one year old.
Of course she tried to eat it and burned her mouth...

ratmouse

Saw a guy opening a window on a freezing cold day in Winter. There were a few sun rays breaking through though. When asked why the hell was he opening the window, he said that he was letting the heat of the breaking sun rays come inside!!

endacl

Around the time when microwaves were starting to be seen in work canteens etc, I saw somebody cause a comical explosion.

There was a free pool table in the canteen where my dad used to work. As a young fella I used to cycle over the odd evening for a few games and a cuppa. Anyway, this canteen had recently taken delivery of a brand new industrial-looking machine. There was a man working there who had slightly misunderstood how a microwave oven worked, and more importantly, what it could be used to cook, and what not to put in it. He made a great show of how this technological miracle could cook food in next to no time, and proceeded to demonstrate this by filling a pot with water, popping in an egg, and pressing start....

:pac:

Knex*

Watched as my 15 stone, 5ft10 friend dived off a pier in West Cork, only to perform the most horrific belly flop that I have ever seen or heard.

The sound out of it was just remarkable. The red mark, covering pretty much the entirety of this stomach, was another glorious site to behold. I'm still laughing now, 7 years on.

MonkstownHoop

Knex. wrote: »

Watched as my 15 stone, 5ft10 friend dived off a pier in West Cork, only to perform the most horrific belly flop that I have ever seen or heard.

The sound out of it was just remarkable. The red mark, covering pretty much the entirety of this stomach, was another glorious site to behold. I'm still laughing now, 7 years on.

That's someone who needs to steer clear of water

Temptamperu

I lad i know threw a calor gas thing on a bon-fire. He's dead now.

Knex*

Temptamperu wrote: »

I lad i know threw a calor gas thing on a bon-fire. He's dead now.

Gas man.

The One Who Knocks

I know someone who insists upon opening all windows during a thunderstorm. The reasoning being that if the lighting comes in one window it will go out another.

castletownman

I witnessed one of my friends trying to swing across a gripe on a rope, only for the branch the rope was tied onto to snap when he was halfway across and he landed into a pile of nettles.

Hilarious.

xbox360

castletownman wrote: »

I witnessed one of my friends trying to swing across a gripe on a rope, only for the branch the rope was tied onto to snap when he was halfway across and he landed into a pile of nettles.

Hilarious.

Ehm,whats a gripe??

castletownman

xbox360 wrote: »

Ehm,whats a gripe??

Sorry. It's the country coming out of me. A gripe would be kind of like a wide gap between a ditch and the road. Or the "riverbed" at either side of a stream.

The perils of country life.

endacl

xbox360 wrote: »

Ehm,whats a gripe??

A grumpy pipe.

ratmouse

xbox360 wrote: »

Ehm,whats a gripe??

A ripe grape

Zed Bank

I left the village once.

Hotale.com

Zed Bank wrote: »

I left the village once.

Mad.

Deise67

saw an AA van tow in a car on a solid towbar to a local garage , here women in the car being towed got out went into the target , didn't tell the AA driver who proceed to turn an re position the car , course she didn't pull the handbreak up either yer man pulled off , turned the car on the solid towbar kept going straight into a brand new car on the garage forecourt, if looks could kill when the other driver came out of the garage !

Zed Bank

Hotale.com wrote: »

Mad.

I was traumatized for years afterwards.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Working late one evening, group of us phoned in an order to the local chippy. One fella was gonna go and collect it on his bicycle. The chippy was at the back of a housing estate, he could cycle across a green, making it quicker than driving the whole way round the block.

Anyway, while he was in the shop, the heavens opened and it started pouring rain. He took off his raincoat, wrapped it around the food, and pedalled back. Food was grand, but he had to sit in wet clothes for another 4 hours before he went home.

endacl

ratmouse wrote: »

A ripe grape

Would that not be known as a 'grape'...?

Dr Turk Turkelton

Zed Bank wrote: »

I left the village once.

Is the village missing its idiot by any chance?

ratmouse

endacl wrote: »

Would that not be known as a 'grape'...?

You're right! It would! Does that put me on the culprit list of the title of this thread? :-(

Frogeye

was in a petrol station the M4 on my way to london town about 2 years ago. there is an SUV with a girl behind the wheel and a guy filling it up. He pays, hops in, she drives off...about 3 meters when she realizes that the guy has left the nozzle in the tank and she has just pulled the pipe off of the pump. Needless to say she wasn't too happy with that chap.

Titzon Toast

My pal did a run to McDonald's for about ten of us a few years back. Everyone was stoned and the munchies had creeped in real bad. Bob went to the drivethrough, ordered six metric tons of poisonous goodness, paid the bill, and then drove straight past the collection window and back to the house empty handed.

"What?" was all he said when he walked into the room and we all stared at him in horror and disbelief. "What?"

Zed Bank

Dr Turk Turkelton wrote: »

Is the village missing its idiot by any chance?

Don't know, after hours is clearly not missing its comedian though.

SouthTippBass

Zed Bank wrote: »

Don't know, after hours is clearly not missing its comedian though.

Ohh burn!

Zed Bank

Titzon Toast wrote: »

My pal did a run to McDonald's for about ten of us a few years back. Everyone was stoned and the munchies had creeped in real bad. Bob went to the drivethrough, ordered six metric tons of poisonous goodness, paid the bill, and then drove straight past the collection window and back to the house empty handed.

"What?" was all he said when he walked into the room and we all stared at him in horror and disbelief. "What?"

Driving stoned is the stupid thing here! Never mind McDonalds.

Titzon Toast

Zed Bank wrote: »

Driving stoned is the stupid thing here! Never mind McDonalds.

Youth is full of stupid things. Ask anyone.

Zed Bank

Titzon Toast wrote: »

Youth is full of stupid things. Ask anyone.

I get stoned sometimes, I'm young. Dosent give me an excuse to endanger someone's life.

Titzon Toast

Zed Bank wrote: »

I get stoned sometimes, I'm young. Dosent give me an excuse to endanger someone's life.

Get off your horse. Half of Ireland is driving around stoned ffs. I don't do it anymore myself but I've covered thousands and thousands of miles in every type of vehicle whilst mildly stoned at least.
You sure you're young?!

Zed Bank

Titzon Toast wrote: »

Get off your horse. Half of Ireland is driving around stoned ffs. I don't do it anymore myself but I've covered thousands and thousands of miles in every type of vehicle whilst mildly stoned at least.
You sure you're young?!

Half of Ireland? 2 million people driving around high as a kite? Is that a fact. You wouldnt hop in a car after a few drinks so a few joints should be no different!

Tokyo

Was parked up in a carpark in Katherine, Australia, having a bite to eat and deciding where to head onto next, when I saw an American couple, who had rented the biggest Britz Campervan they could find just down the street a few minutes earlier, barrel into the carpark at full speed, even though the carpark had one of those 7' high barriers designed to stop anything bigger than a car from doing exactly that. Cue the screeching of tearing metal as the campervan roof slowly but surely peeled back like a sardine tin, while the guy kept gunning the engine and ploughing forward, not able to figure out what was stopping him from making progress, and blissfully unaware of all that extra sunlight pouring in on top of him...

Titzon Toast

Of course it is...
Is that the best retort you could come up with?!
You knew well I was using a turn of phrase.
What's on your mind sweet cheeks? Want to hug it out?

Nice stealth edit btw.

Zed Bank

Titzon Toast wrote: »

Of course it is...
Is that the best retort you could come up with?!
You knew well I was using a turn of phrase.
What's on your mind sweet cheeks? Want to hug it out?

Hop in your car and go for a spin!

Not a stealth edit, I realized my mistake and edited straight after.

Lingua Franca

From the last time this thread came up:

Lingua Franca wrote: »

Saw a woman push a loaded shopping trolley onto an escalator once. I will treasure that moment 'til I die.

Hotale.com

Lingua Franca wrote: »

From the last time this thread came up:

Where is this thread? Could he a laugh :pac:

Titzon Toast

Zed Bank wrote: »

Hop in your car and go for a spin!

You're getting better, I suppose. What was it you wanted again?

Lingua Franca

Hotale.com wrote: »

Where is this thread? Could he a laugh :pac:

If you click on the arrow in the quote it should take you there. It wasn't a great thread, to be honest.

Hotale.com

Lingua Franca wrote: »

If you click on the arrow in the quote it should take you there. It wasn't a great thread, to be honest.

Yep, **** thread

Pat Mustard

A few of us had just finished a nice walk up Ben Nevis in Scotland at around 4pm one October. The light of day was just beginning to fade, as we headed for a pint.

We passed an American wearing a t shirt, bermuda shorts, trainers, and a baseball hat. He was in his early forties. He was starting out the climb with his family. They were dressed for the summer, they had no proper gear, and the guy had small children and his elderly mother in tow. We tried to warn him off politely, telling him that it was quite cold higher up and that it was about to get dark.

He just smiled and said; "If we make it, we make it."

What a fool.

Tokyo

The Mustard wrote: »

A few of us had just finished a nice walk up Ben Nevis in Scotland at around 4pm one October. The light of day was just beginning to fade, as we headed for a pint.

We passed an American wearing a t shirt, bermuda shorts, trainers, and a baseball hat. He was in his early forties. He was starting out the climb with his family. They were dressed for the summer, they had no proper gear, and the guy had small children and his elderly mother in tow. We tried to warn him off politely, telling him that it was quite cold higher up and that it was about to get dark.

He just smiled and said; "If we make it, we make it."

What a fool.

In a former life, spent a good portion of my time in mountain rescue, going up at night after ****wits like that..... :mad:

fatherted1969

One of the stupidiest things I've ever done anyway, i was down the country for a few days a couple of years ago and decided to bring the young feller to sunday mass. i walked around at the bottom as all the chairs were full. the young lad started acting up (as they do) so i sez if you dont stop we're going out.

he kept it up so i said thats it we're going out and opened the door beside me and stepped into........ the confessional box .true story i still cringe remembering the people beside me sniggering

Pat Mustard

mike_ie wrote: »

In a former life, spent a good portion of my time in mountain rescue, going up at night after ****wits like that..... :mad:

There should be a call-out charge for muppets!

leeroybrown

An old housemate was putting on his washing one night and went to put an open block of white cheddar into the machine instead of washing powder. Luckily I pointed it out.

murray.eoghan

leeroybrown wrote: »

An old housemate was putting on his washing one night and went to put an open block of white cheddar into the machine instead of washing powder. Luckily I pointed it out.

you should have not told him:D

Hotale.com

fatherted1969 wrote: »

One of the stupidiest things I've ever done anyway, i was down the country for a few days a couple of years ago and decided to bring the young feller to sunday mass. i walked around at the bottom as all the chairs were full. the young lad started acting up (as they do) so i sez if you dont stop we're going out.

he kept it up so i said thats it we're going out and opened the door beside me and stepped into........ the confessional box .true story i still cringe remembering the people beside me sniggering

You're lucky your son didn't walk into it, the priest might have ran away with him

Los Lobos

Most hilariously stupid thing? I did it myself, and it was enjoyed by others.

Out on the lash on the friday night, but the big footy match on tv on saturday at 12.45.

So down we go, still half cut, and straight into more pints. Game on, into the second half, my team losing at home, one nil. Gettin fairly well on (again) at this stage, when my team equalise.

So the pub erupts, like I said i'm practically drunk again, and hadn't even seen the goal. So I head up to the bar for another pint, gander up at the telly, and watch the goal in the replay, but in my drunken mind we've just gone and scored two goals in less than thirty seconds. Obviously by the time of the replay, the pub had quietened down again as if nothing had happened. Then out of the blue, me:

"yessss!! Get in!!!! Get the fcukkk innn!!!!"

Que the whole bar turning round to the gob****e celebrating a goal from a replay 30 seconds late, man that was embarrassing

endacl

leeroybrown wrote: »

An old housemate was putting on his washing one night and went to put an open block of white cheddar into the machine instead of washing powder. Luckily I pointed it out.

I shared a place in Sydney with a fella who had never done a wash for himself. He only went and used Fairy feckin' liquid in our top loading washing machine! 'Whats the difference' he asked, as five of us waded through the kitchen of our apartment. Luckily, there was nobody living below us, and we ended up with the cleanest Lino floor, and feet, in Australia. Bubbles out the door at one point.

Was funny at the time though.

alleystar

A guy I know who was both drunk and stoned at my friend's apartment, opened the balcony door, got up on the rail and said "Lads, lads, look!... I can fly!" and jumped. Broke a leg for his trouble.

umop.episdn

Once put a poker into the fire for 2 or 3 minutes & then put it on my foot to see if it was hot......it was, I was a pretty thick 12yo