Don't agree with partner driving after a drink

LegacyUser

Hi all.

I'm in a very happy relationship with my girlfriend.

However, she doesn't have an issue with having a drink and then driving home. If she's out, I always collect her without an issue, but if she's with family they'll drink a few wines and she'll have one and drive home.

I assume she's under the legal limit (though I'm dubious) as she only ever has one drink.

However it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I'm of the belief that if you drink, you don't drink. And if you drive, you don't drink. Not only because you run the risk of killing yourself, but more importantly of hurting or killing others.

We've talked about this once (months ago) and she's said it's not something she does lightly, but has thought about it and is content with her decision. And that if she were to get tested and failed, she'd hold her hands up and expect full punishment. But that it's her decision to make and while she respects my view, that's as far as it goes.

I'm unsure if I have any right to be off about this issue or if it's no concern of mine.

Thoughts?

Maphisto

Hi OP

I agree with you about not drinking and driving. More as you say from the dangers than the risk of being caught. I think especially with our roads which are either windy and narrow but uncongested or very good but with a lot of traffic on them.

Beyond my support though I don't know what to say. You've had the discussion:

We've talked about this once (months ago) and she's said it's not something she does lightly, but has thought about it and is content with her decision. And that if she were to get tested and failed, she'd hold her hands up and expect full punishment. But that it's her decision to make and while she respects my view, that's as far as it goes.

I don't know that being off helps. Maybe you point out how worried it makes you.

I wish you well.

ivytwine

Can your girlfriend handle her drink OP?

I ask because to be honest, I would never ever drink and drive- I am tiny and a glass of wine would affect me- not get me drunk but would affect my perception and ability to judge in a driving situation. (Plus wine gives me wicked headaches, but that's not relevant for here!)

However, she is staying under the legal limit. If she has a drink at 6pm and then drives her friends home at midnight, then I think you may be overcautious. Only you really know what exactly the scenario here.

It may be worth bringing up with her again.

Alf. A. Male

Concerned Guy wrote: »

We've talked about this once (months ago) and she's said it's not something she does lightly, but has thought about it and is content with her decision. And that if she were to get tested and failed, she'd hold her hands up and expect full punishment. But that it's her decision to make and while she respects my view, that's as far as it goes.

I have an issue with this kind of thinking. Getting caught is supposed to point out to you that you're doing wrong and shouldn't be the biggest fear, the fear should be that you could kill or injure yourself or others. And it's not "her decision to make", society has made the decision already that drinking and driving is unacceptable and she doesn't have a choice in adhering to that.

RossFixxxed

Yeah absolutely what the above said. People's lives are DESTROYED by the actions of people like this. What's her reg number? I'll happily report her myself to the police. This is completely and utterly unacceptable, and shouldn't be encouraged. You'll wake up some day and she'll be dead, or she'll have killed someone's child with her stupid, pig ignorant, reckless behaviour. I'm sorry this is blunt and angry but someone has to say it.

Shut it down. I have lived the devastation this causes, and my life was destroyed for years and years. Hell I'm not better yet. This makes my blood boil. It's not 'accpting punishment' it's watching someone die in front of you because of your actions, or you seeing your girlfriend with none of her personality left, just drooling in a semi coma in a hospital bed unable to go to the toilet herself.

Imagine the family who's little girls won't get to go to school because of her actions. Punishment has NOTHING to do with this, being a responsible grown up is.

I would never speak to her again.

I'm literally trembling and crying writing this, I've had to leave my desk in work and may have to ask to go home. That's what her actions do. Her oh I'll put my hand up makes me sick, it absolutely is so backwards and stupid in this day and age to have an attitude like that. She needs to cop on.

PM me her details and I'll get the authorities on to it no bother man. Just leave it to me.

By the way watching loved ones try to breathe through all the blood in their lungs, and the light just fade in their eyes from terror to just nothing is the worst thing you will ever see in your life. Don't be a part of that. Apathy / pretending it's a matter of respecting her opinion is just WEAK. Grow up and call her on her actions, she's clearly not mature enough to handle a car or adult responsibliites.

If she dies horribly in a crash well that's just Darwinian, and frankly it's entirely her fault. Think of the other people at stake for Christ sake.


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056814182 THIS is what her actions do. This.

skallywag

RossFixxxed wrote: »

...If she dies horribly in a crash well that's just Darwinian...

You should be ashamed of yourself. Take a look again at the OP's post. There is no evidence presented that she is having more than a single drink (while staying under the legal drink drive limit), and that she is behaving irresponsibly.

ivytwine

With all due respect and I can understand why it's such an emotional issue, nowhere does the OP say his partner drives home drunk.

She has one glass of wine. As I said above, we have very little information on when she has this wine- if she has it with a meal at 6pm or 7pm and doesn't go home til midnight, this is completely different to her driving home after a feed of shots.

We have no further information on her habits apart from what is in the OP.

I can understand how emotive this is for you but this is not the same thing at all. I think the OP needs to speak to her about this issue but rationally. There is no worry about her being 'caught' if she is she is under the limit after all. It makes him uncomfortable and he should be able to bring it up with her.

Rosy Posy

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Yeah absolutely what the above said. People's lives are DESTROYED by the actions of people like this. What's her reg number? I'll happily report her myself to the police. This is completely and utterly unacceptable, and shouldn't be encouraged. You'll wake up some day and she'll be dead, or she'll have killed someone's child with her stupid, pig ignorant, reckless behaviour. I'm sorry this is blunt and angry but someone has to say it.

Shut it down. I have lived the devastation this causes, and my life was destroyed for years and years. Hell I'm not better yet. This makes my blood boil. It's not 'accpting punishment' it's watching someone die in front of you because of your actions, or you seeing your girlfriend with none of her personality left, just drooling in a semi coma in a hospital bed unable to go to the toilet herself.

Imagine the family who's little girls won't get to go to school because of her actions. Punishment has NOTHING to do with this, being a responsible grown up is.

I would never speak to her again.

I'm literally trembling and crying writing this, I've had to leave my desk in work and may have to ask to go home. That's what her actions do. Her oh I'll put my hand up makes me sick, it absolutely is so backwards and stupid in this day and age to have an attitude like that. She needs to cop on.

PM me her details and I'll get the authorities on to it no bother man. Just leave it to me.

By the way watching loved ones try to breathe through all the blood in their lungs, and the light just fade in their eyes from terror to just nothing is the worst thing you will ever see in your life. Don't be a part of that. Apathy / pretending it's a matter of respecting her opinion is just WEAK. Grow up and call her on her actions, she's clearly not mature enough to handle a car or adult responsibliites.

If she dies horribly in a crash well that's just Darwinian, and frankly it's entirely her fault. Think of the other people at stake for Christ sake.


http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056814182 THIS is what her actions do. This.

She is having ONE glass of wine and driving. She is under the legal limit. I get that this is an emotive issue but this response is to my mind excessive. You can't really equate having one glass of wine, being under the legal limit and driving with someone who has a skinful and gets behind the wheel. These, I'd agree are scum. But one glass...I have a glass of wine with a meal out all the time and would drive home with my kids in the car. I'd have an infrequent single glass of wine while pregnant or breastfeeding. It really is dose dependent. If she's under the legal limit she's not doing anything wrong. Being overly tired and driving is more dangerous. Is there a reason that it makes you so uncomfortable op? If so maybe this is something you need to discuss with her.

gaynorvader

They lowered the limits there a few years ago. Even one glass of wine could push her over the legal limit, and could result in a driving ban:
http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/icrime/new-drink-drive-limits-mean-one-glass-is-too-much-171740.html

Penny Tration

Is she under the limit, though? Is it a pub measure, or an 'in the house with a bottle of wine' measure? Most people I know pour way more than a pub measure when drinking at home, myself included.

skallywag

gaynorvader wrote: »

They lowered the limits there a few years ago. Even one glass of wine could push her over the legal limit, and could result in a driving ban

Well the glass size will clearly have a large bearing on that.

OP, how about getting your hands on a Alcometer, they are pretty cheap these days (50 Euro I think?) and asking her to blow into it?

RossFixxxed

It's an emotive topic to be fair.

Why does she NEED to do it? Why not leave the glass of wine, or get a bus/taxi/luas/lift etc instead and avoid the issue. The fact is if she kills someone she will blame herself for drinking.

And maybe it's one glass, that's a vague measurement it could be a small glass or a huge big one that is over the limit. Who knows how impared it actually makes her. This is dangerous, and that's all there is to it. Driving requires focus and attention, if she can't leave booze alone before getting behind the wheel, and won't get public transport, she shoudln't be drivign a car. Why add to the risk? There is NO justification for it at all.

At least do the breathalyzer first. The fact she says she'd take punishment if she got caught suggests this isnt' just a sip of wine to be fair. It's just stupid.

K_P

I'm going against the grain here and think you're being overcautious OP.

100ml of wine is considered one standard drink which your body processes within an hour. I know a pub measure would be a bit more than 100ml, but if she's truly only having one glass of wine over the course of a few hours, then to me at least, there's nothing to worry about in terms of her being over the limit.

I know this is a very emotive issue but to talk about the OP's girlfriend killing children is way over the top.

Having said that, it's concerning you OP, so maybe have a talk with her again.

RossFixxxed

K_P wrote: »

I'm going against the grain here and think you're being overcautious OP.

100ml of wine is considered one standard drink which your body processes within an hour. I know a pub measure would be a bit more than 100ml, but if she's truly only having one glass of wine over the course of a few hours, then to me at least, there's nothing to worry about in terms of her being over the limit.

I know this is a very emotive issue but to talk about the OP's girlfriend killing children is way over the top.

Having said that, it's concerning you OP, so maybe have a talk with her again.

The point is that people DO get killed, people's kids DO get killed, all the damn time on the roads, and adding drink into the mix is idiotic. I know I took an extreme example, but that's the risk. It's not a matter of 'oh I'll take a slap on the wrist' it's 'I drank and drove a car and destroyed someone's life'. Alcohol isn't predictable and we don't know HOW MUCH she's actually drinking in one glass or if it is only one glass.

I don't understand why anyone needs to do it and can't just get a bus or whatever, why take the risk. Any imparement to your brain is not good when doing a dangerous, complex task like driving.

I'm not remotely ashamed, if you impair yourself with booze at all and drive and then crash ... it's your own damn fault and I have zero sympathy at all for anyone who does this. There's no reason at all to do it.

There are no accidents just mechanical or human failure, booze increases the risk of human failure. That's just fact.


IT's the ATTITUDE of ah sure it's only a bit of wine, in this day and age, that really bothers me, not the one particular case. I'll have to bow out here as I've gotten TOO angry for this, and have to nip to the GP as ridiculous as that sounds. I'm in this state as someone had 'a couple of beers' by the way.

If it's one glass and she waits an hour, maybe has a coffee, then I think OP is overcautious. Driving tired would be more dangerous than that (and it is).
If it's a glass getting refilled and she heads off straight away, I would be very annoyed as well. It would need to be impressed upon her that it's not a personal choice, it's not about her anymore - that she is in charge of a big hunk of metal that could destroy the lives of anyone else out there on the road, not just hers.

K_P

RossFixxxed wrote: »

The point is that people DO get killed, people's kids DO get killed, all the damn time on the roads, and adding drink into the mix is idiotic. I know I took an extreme example, but that's the risk. It's not a matter of 'oh I'll take a slap on the wrist' it's 'I drank and drove a car and destroyed someone's life'.

Of course people get killed on the roads as a result of alcohol, drugs, speeding, tiredness, driver error, mechanical error, weather conditions, lots of reasons. I am FAR from being a drink driving advocate. It absolutely disgusts me. If it seemed in any way that the OP's girlfriend was impaired while driving, then I'd be the first to be wielding the "Dump her ass and report her" pitchforks.

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Alcohol isn't predictable and we don't know HOW MUCH she's actually drinking in one glass or if it is only one glass.

RossFixxxed wrote: »

Any imparement to your brain is not good when doing a dangerous, complex task like driving.

I agree, but if people lived by this rule would they ever drive anywhere? You certainly wouldn't drive with children in the car who could potentially distract you. You wouldn't drive home from work because you'd be tired after a long day. You wouldn't drive when ill, if you were preoccupied or worried about something, you wouldn't drive with the radio on, or at night or in bad weather. What happens in reality is that you weigh up the risks and hopefully make the right decision. This woman doesn't seem to have a flippant attitude to driving - she's considered it and obviously knows her own tolerance and the effect of one glass on her.

I know people feel very strongly about this, and as I said, if someone was even considering driving with more than one drink on them I'd be disgusted. But I do think one glass of wine over the course of a few hours, which the person in question knows themselves is an ok limit for them, then I honestly think that's fine.

Maphisto

bluewolf wrote: »

If it's one glass and she waits an hour, maybe has a coffee, then I think OP is overcautious. Driving tired would be more dangerous than that (and it is).
If it's a glass getting refilled and she heads off straight away, I would be very annoyed as well. It would need to be impressed upon her that it's not a personal choice, it's not about her anymore - that she is in charge of a big hunk of metal that could destroy the lives of anyone else out there on the road, not just hers.

A couple of things.

I wouldn't be discouraging the OP in his opposition to drinking and driving.

The small bottles that pubs tend to supply wine in are at least 187mil, I'm sure I've seen them bigger at something like 250mil. I could be wrong, either way they are nearly double the 100mil = 1 unit of alcohol in the post above.

We don't know her size, physiology or tolerance to alchol.

Coffee helps not one jot in reducing alcohol in the blood.

Maphisto

Maphisto wrote: »

A couple of things.

I wouldn't be discouraging the OP in his opposition to drinking and driving.

The small bottles that pubs tend to supply wine in are at least 187mil, I'm sure I've seen them bigger at something like 250mil. I could be wrong, either way they are nearly double the 100mil = 1 unit of alcohol in the post above.

We don't know her size, physiology or tolerance to alchol.

Coffee helps not one jot in reducing alcohol in the blood.

I just meant having one then giving it a proper amount of time and coffee to wake you up a bit is a different story to drinking then directly driving while over the limit.
It's true we don't know, which is why I was trying to look at it a couple of different ways. I think I was clear enough that if she is driving impaired, it is certainly something to be annoyed about and that it's not a personal choice.

Maphisto

K_P wrote: »

Of course people get killed on the roads as a result of alcohol, drugs, speeding, tiredness, driver error, mechanical error, weather conditions, lots of reasons. I am FAR from being a drink driving advocate. It absolutely disgusts me. If it seemed in any way that the OP's girlfriend was impaired while driving, then I'd be the first to be wielding the "Dump her ass and report her" pitchforks.





I agree, but if people lived by this rule would they ever drive anywhere? You certainly wouldn't drive with children in the car who could potentially distract you. You wouldn't drive home from work because you'd be tired after a long day. You wouldn't drive when ill, if you were preoccupied or worried about something, you wouldn't drive with the radio on, or at night or in bad weather. What happens in reality is that you weigh up the risks and hopefully make the right decision. This woman doesn't seem to have a flippant attitude to driving - she's considered it and obviously knows her own tolerance and the effect of one glass on her.

I know people feel very strongly about this, and as I said, if someone was even considering driving with more than one drink on them I'd be disgusted. But I do think one glass of wine over the course of a few hours, which the person in question knows themselves is an ok limit for them, then I honestly think that's fine.

To me its a no-brainer. As you rightly point there are a number of risks, a lot of which we can't do anything about. To your list could be added potholes (that you could live in), animals straying onto the road, other drunk drivers.

Why even risk impairing your reactions 0.1%.

gaynorvader

Maphisto wrote: »

A couple of things.

I wouldn't be discouraging the OP in his opposition to drinking and driving.

The small bottles that pubs tend to supply wine in are at least 187mil, I'm sure I've seen them bigger at something like 250mil. I could be wrong, either way they are nearly double the 100mil = 1 unit of alcohol in the post above.

We don't know her size, physiology or tolerance to alchol.

Coffee helps not one jot in reducing alcohol in the blood.

The current limit is 50ml. Up to 80ml you might get away with a €200 fine and 3 penalty points if it's your first offense. 80-100ml is a €400 fine and 6 month driving ban. Over 100ml is a court appearance and a minimum 12 month driving ban.

If you're on a learner permit, the limit is 20ml.

Obviously people's ability to process alcohol differs, but still.

K_P

Maphisto wrote: »

To me its a no-brainer. As you rightly point there are a number of risks, a lot of which we can't do anything about. To your list could be added potholes (that you could live in), animals straying onto the road, other drunk drivers.

Why even risk impairing your reactions 0.1%.

Look, fair enough and I'm not looking to argue with anyone about this and somehow end up as some sort of drink driving apologist!

OP, I think you need to talk to your girlfriend again. If she was to know exactly how much it bothers you then I think refraining from one glass of wine on these rare occasions shouldn't be too big an ask for something that is clearly very important to you. Good luck.

tiny_penguin

I have dinner with my parents once and week and would usually have a small glass of wine and then drive home. I would be very careful and have less than 100ml and it would be at least an hour and a half to 2 hours after finishing this that I would be driving home. If I knew I had to rush off less than an hour and half after dinner I would skip the wine, or if I had to leave unexpectedly soon I would take a taxi or public transport. I don't need it and rarely drink at all but would enjoy a small glass with a nice dinner.

I know I am not over the limit or in any way impaired by this and would be in no way concerned about being stopped by the gardai or breathalysed as I know I would pass with no problem. If it was ever a concern that I may be over the legal limit or in anyway impaired i would absolutely not drive.

However, if this behaviour really upset my partner or anyone close to me I would absolutely have no problem stopping. As I said I do not NEED it but I enjoy it and I would rather abstain than cause any undue worry, concern or hurt to those who I care about.

So if it really does bother you and cause stress and worry OP then have the discussion again. I would be more concerned by her dismissal of your obvious concern and strong feelings on the matter.

meeeeh

gaynorvader wrote: »

The current limit is 50ml. Up to 80ml you might get away with a €200 fine and 3 penalty points if it's your first offense. 80-100ml is a €400 fine and 6 month driving ban. Over 100ml is a court appearance and a minimum 12 month driving ban.

If you're on a learner permit, the limit is 20ml.

Obviously people's ability to process alcohol differs, but still.

It would help if people would at least distinguish between measuring units. If you can't tell the difference between mg and ml you probably shouldn't drink ever because you must be under 10 years old.

It is measured in mg of alcohol in 100ml of blood. It has nothing to do with ml on the side of the bottle.

Kevo

She seems to think that the consequences only apply to her. They also apply to you and other people on the road. This would be a massive issue for me.

Get her a breathalyzer and ask her to use it before considering driving. I'd say she will be surprised how far over it she is.

skallywag

I don't agree at all with the conclusions that some are coming to (without a shred of evidence) on this thread.

If she is indeed over the limit, then fair enough.

If, on the other hand, she is not, then she certainly does not deserve to be hung drawn and quartered.

OP, you mention that you think she is still within the legal driving limits, but also that you are dubious. Can you provide some more information as background?

we'llallhavetea

If she's under the legal limit it's no one's business imo.
Maybe buy her a breathalyser she could use to double check before she heads off on her journey? Although I'm not sure how reliable they are tbh.

meeeeh

If you have a coffee and cigarette and brethalyze yourself you will probably get some reading above 0. In fact when I was breathalyzed I was first asked if I had anything to drink in the last 15 minutes or if I smoked in that time. You then have the right to wait for 15 minutes (at least in the country I am from). A glass of wine (1 unit 100 ml) will have you nowhere near the limit in normal circumstances (not starving or being really small) after the required 15 minutes.

I am not advocating drunk driving but there is no need to label anybody I don't know what if they had a glass of wine with their food.

skallywag

meeeeh wrote: »

...You the have the right to wait for 15 minutes (at least in the country I am from)...

I think it's the case that you usually *must* wait 15 mins to be breathalyzed, i.e. you don't have the option not to wait?

meeeeh

skallywag wrote: »

I think it's the case that you usually *must* wait 15 mins to be breathalyzed, i.e. you don't have the option not to wait?

It would make sense otherwise anybody who would be over the limit could claim that they had a cigarette 5 minutes before or something similar and that test wasn't valid.

Maphisto

skallywag wrote: »

I don't agree at all with the conclusions that some are coming to (without a shred of evidence) on this thread.

Without a shred of evidence either way I'd suggest it would be better to err on the side of caution. BTW what evidence do we usually have on a bulletin board? I'd suggest that the only tangible evidence we do have is that the OP was concerned enough to start a thread on it.

If she is indeed over the limit, then fair enough.

Agreed

If, on the other hand, she is not, then she certainly does not deserve to be hung drawn and quartered.

Christ on a bike - she is not even on the forum, I don't think that is something that can be performed in absentia. The absolute most that we will get to here is to advise the OP to talk to his gf.

LegacyUser

OP here again.

She's on the smaller side of average height & weight.

She only ever has 1 drink if driving - that could be a vodka, a pint Coors (last night) or a glass wine. The wine especially worries me as standard pub measures are larger than 100ml and I doubt that's what she orders.

Her usual thing seems to be have the drink, wait a while (not sure how long) and then head home. Sometimes a coffee after. She's said she'd never drink if she felt impaired especially as she'd usually be driving family home.

I just don't think anybody should drive if they've had even one drink. The laws are stricter now and frankly I'm not sure how I'd react if she got caught for drink driving, even if slightly over the limit.

As for calling the cops to check her, or giving her abuse over this.... Honestly it's not my place. She's an extremely intelligent grown woman and can make her own decisions. I'm just trying to figure out whether I can continue being with somebody who does something I find so irresponsible, selfish and dangerous to others.

Jakey Rolling

Came across this company recently alcosense.ie, prices seemed reasonable though I was just needing a disposable pack for France.

TBH if I was in the position where I regularly needed to use a breathalyser I would need to rethink my drinking habits!

Apols apparently can't post link as I'm a new user.

pickarooney

Ah, she's grand. Don't be blowing things out of proportion.

Penny Tration

Concerned Guy wrote: »

OP here again.

She's on the smaller side of average height & weight.

She only ever has 1 drink if driving - that could be a vodka, a pint Coors (last night) or a glass wine. The wine especially worries me as standard pub measures are larger than 100ml and I doubt that's what she orders.

Her usual thing seems to be have the drink, wait a while (not sure how long) and then head home. Sometimes a coffee after. She's said she'd never drink if she felt impaired especially as she'd usually be driving family home.

I just don't think anybody should drive if they've had even one drink. The laws are stricter now and frankly I'm not sure how I'd react if she got caught for drink driving, even if slightly over the limit.

As for calling the cops to check her, or giving her abuse over this.... Honestly it's not my place. She's an extremely intelligent grown woman and can make her own decisions. I'm just trying to figure out whether I can continue being with somebody who does something I find so irresponsible, selfish and dangerous to others.

1 pint is 2 units. She really shouldn't be drinking at all if she's driving.

Has she ever been breathalysed, or is she just assuming she's under the limit?

LegacyUser

To the best of my knowledge, she's assuming.

RossFixxxed

So she's driving over the limit.

That's a simple one, don't bloody do that. Get a taxi/bus/luas/lift/walk. There's no excuse whatsover for it, and I do not take back anything I said in light of this. It's illegal and it's incredibly immature and stupid.

I appreciate the points others made but in light of the new information she shouldn't be doing it, legally or morally.

meeeeh

RossFixxxed wrote: »

So she's driving over the limit.

That's a simple one, don't bloody do that. Get a taxi/bus/luas/lift/walk. There's no excuse whatsover for it, and I do not take back anything I said in light of this. It's illegal and it's incredibly immature and stupid.

I appreciate the points others made but in light of the new information she shouldn't be doing it, legally or morally.

She is playing with fire, but she isn't necessarily over the limit. You would want to test yourself in that instance or at least wait an hour after finishing your drink.

MagicMarker

Exactly what is the point in having one drink and then driving home, if one drink doesn't affect her?

Rubberchikken

would never drink and drive myself, but if your partner is stupid enough to do so, then when the sh*t hits the fan, I hope they can truly lifts up their hands and deal with the consequences.
tbh it's a stupid, and needless thing to do and in this day and age makes no sense.

pickarooney

MagicMarker wrote: »

Exactly what is the point in having one drink and then driving home, if one drink doesn't affect her?

I think I heard someone say once they enjoyed the taste of wine.

RossFixxxed

pickarooney wrote: »

I think I heard someone say once they enjoyed the taste of wine.

And they should enjoy the taste of their wine. AND NOT DRIVE afterwards. Simple solution really, get home an alternative way and don't risk it.

skallywag

RossFixxxed wrote: »

And they should enjoy the taste of their wine. AND NOT DRIVE afterwards. Simple solution really, get home an alternative way and don't risk it.

Personally I would not drive myself if I have consumed any alcohol at all. Nonetheless there are many people who I know who do decide to have a drink, and then drive afterwards. They do so in a responsible way, through carefully watching how much they drink, what they drink, and also allowing for adequate time to pass from the drink being consumed to getting behind the wheel. I will use my mother as an example, she may have a (very modest) glass of wine when out for dinner, and get into her car one and a half hours (or more) after finishing it. I would consider this as behaving responsibly.

On the other hand, if she gulped down a large measure of wine and then got into her car immediately, it's a completely different scenario.

These two different scenarios are clearly very different.

MagicMarker

pickarooney wrote: »

I think I heard someone say once they enjoyed the taste of wine.

So do I, but I wouldn't have a glass with my cornflakes. Likewise I wouldn't have a glass if I were driving.

enda1

What the OP's wife is doing is legal. If she has no problem with it, no one else should and if they do it's their problem not the woman's.

That's the end to the story really and there's no point in debating the morality of her actions when they've been deemed legal.

CaraMay

enda1 wrote: »

What the OP's wife is doing is legal. If she has no problem with it, no one else should and if they do it's their problem not the woman's.

That's the end to the story really and there's no point in debating the morality of her actions when they've been deemed legal.

Exactly. She is legal and entitled to do what she is doing. Sounds op like you have no respect for her right to choose.

username123

MagicMarker wrote: »

Exactly what is the point in having one drink and then driving home, if one drink doesn't affect her?

I quite often have one gin and tonic before a meal out and then drive home 2 or 3 hours later. I like gin and tonic, it tastes nice, its a nice aperitif before a meal, and I know Im going to be eating a full meal after it and sitting around for 2 hours or so before driving. Nothing wrong with that imo. Its actually a responsible way to consume alcohol. Drinking alcohol only to get an effect should be discouraged, this attitude leads to irresponsible drinking. Lots of other countries consider it totally normal to have a drink, as in 1 drink.

MagicMarker

username123 wrote: »

I quite often have one gin and tonic before a meal out and then drive home 2 or 3 hours later. I like gin and tonic, it tastes nice, its a nice aperitif before a meal, and I know Im going to be eating a full meal after it and sitting around for 2 hours or so before driving. Nothing wrong with that imo. Its actually a responsible way to consume alcohol. Drinking alcohol only to get an effect should be discouraged, this attitude leads to irresponsible drinking. Lots of other countries consider it totally normal to have a drink, as in 1 drink.

No one drinks alcohol without the intention of feeling SOME effect from it. I like water, I like soft drinks, I like tea and coffee, I like fruit juices. I would opt for any of these over alcohol if I had intentions of getting behind the wheel of a car. That's responsible drinking as far as I'm concerned.

MagicMarker

MagicMarker wrote: »

No one drinks alcohol without the intention of feeling SOME effect from it.

I have to completely disagree - sometimes it just tastes nice, especially a sweet cocktail

tiny_penguin

MagicMarker wrote: »

No one drinks alcohol without the intention of feeling SOME effect from it. I like water, I like soft drinks, I like tea and coffee, I like fruit juices. I would opt for any of these over alcohol if I had intentions of getting behind the wheel of a car. That's responsible drinking as far as I'm concerned.

I drink alcohol without the intention of feeling any effect. I have less than 100 ml with my dinner when I know the flavours will compliment each other. That is all. I wait 1.5-2 hours before driving after drinking it but I feel no negative effect from it, only the enjoyment from the taste. This is still responsible drinking.

celica00

I would like to also voice my opinion, even though I only read the first page so far.

Lets say she only has one glass of wine and drives home hours later.
Legally it's fine and she probably feels fine and no way close to drunk.

But for me it is simply a principal kind of thing.

Drink? no Drive!
No matter how little the drink is.

on a night out (and I'm the driver), I don't even just taste a drink (when someone offers me to taste the fancy new cocktail etc.)

It would not affect anyone but still...EITHER drink OR drive.
I think there should be no grey areas in this topic.

Mimikyu

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