The inadequacy of toilet paper.

Besonders

If someone wiped sh1t on your face would you be content to wipe it off with only toilet paper?

More than likely you would wash it off with soap and water. Why do we accept toilet paper as good enough?

There are wet wipes you can get which are much more appropriate and are suitable for toilets.

Banjo String

Besonders wrote: »

If someone wiped sh1t on your face would you be content to wipe it off with only toilet paper?

More than likely you would wash it off with soap and water. Why do we accept toilet paper as good enough?

There are wet wipes you can get which are much more appropriate and are suitable for toilets.

This crappy thread stinks.

PS, people look at, sometimes touch, and sometimes even kiss my face. My arse doesn't get the same attention tbh.

Absoluvely

wazky

Use a bit of sandpaper OP, really clears ya out.

buyer95

Besonders wrote: »

If someone wiped sh1t on your face would you be content to wipe it off with only toilet paper?

More than likely you would wash it off with soap and water. Why do we accept toilet paper as good enough?

There are wet wipes you can get which are much more appropriate and are suitable for toilets.

Because having sh1t on your face is a disaster and must be removed at all costs. On your arse, not so much. I guess you could say " Sh1t Happens."

bop1977

You mean you don't have a bidet in your bathroom. Peasant.

BeardySi

surely you've heard of these?

The hole is hardier than the face.

Wouldn't trust those wet wipes near the clinch. Might lead to possible spreading as opposed to cleaning.

You wouldn't want to be left with a moist bung, you really need the dry integrity that only wads of toilet tissue can provide.

Sciprio

My housemate keeps buying the tesco own brand which disintegrates before it gets anywhere near your arse! :mad:

we'llallhavetea

Nobody wants a slippy moist arse unless there getting something lobbed up there

bnt

I spent two weeks in Bangalore, on a business trip, and the toilets at the office also had shower hoses so you could rinse down if you wanted to. After two weeks of mostly Indian food, I began to see the point. It might explain some of the loose clothes men wear in parts of the Middle East and South Asia: no tight pants, so maybe you could come out of the toilet with a wet bum, and no-one would know. :pac:

Balmed Out

bnt wrote: »

I spent two weeks in Bangalore, on a business trip, and the toilets at the office also had shower hoses so you could rinse down if you wanted to.

And after using it for a few weeks isnt it so much more hygenic then toilet paper? Yet most people who haven't used it think its disgusting.

howamidifferent

Solution is simple. ****, Shave & shower in that order every morning.
If an extra dump is required during the day then use baby wipes to clean your hole properly.

the_monkey

Treadhead wrote: »

surely you've heard of these?

?? what are they ?

Barely There

bnt wrote: »

I spent two weeks in Bangalore, on a business trip, and the toilets at the office also had shower hoses so you could rinse down if you wanted to. After two weeks of mostly Indian food, I began to see the point. It might explain some of the loose clothes men wear in parts of the Middle East and South Asia: no tight pants, so maybe you could come out of the toilet with a wet bum, and no-one would know. :pac:

I shudder to think what the addition of a hose would do to the state of most Irish public toilets.

KTRIC

the_monkey wrote: »

?? what are they ?

Hahahah , oh my god!! you haven't heard of the 3 shells ??

:rolleyes:

Akrasia

howamidifferent wrote: »

Solution is simple. ****, Shave & shower in that order every morning.
If an extra dump is required during the day then use baby wipes to clean your hole properly.

And some poor chump has to wade into the sewer dislodging the tonnes of baby wipes that clog up the system because they don't disolve the same as toilet paper does.

Czarcasm

Akrasia wrote: »

And some poor chump has to wade into the sewer dislodging the tonnes of baby wipes that clog up the system because they don't disolve the same as toilet paper does.

Can you imagine if these ever catch on?

*shudders*

padraig.od

get a fancy Jap toilet. Problem solved

GerB40

padraig.od wrote: »

get a fancy Jap toilet. Problem solved

"I am honoured to accept your waste"- Japanese Toilet..

Green Mile

Does no one use the three sea shells?

gramar

Barely There wrote: »

I shudder to think what the addition of a hose would do to the state of most Irish public toilets.

It would probably mean a meter would have to be installed.

Davarus Walrus

I was a victim of advertising and bought a box of Andrex Washlets. You know the ad where a woman talks to a load of vain London hipster tosspots about considering a new product to return the rusty bullet hole to pristine condition. They all get very excited about this new development in toilet hygiene.

A fúcking disaster. One of the worst products ever. Like using a dishcloth to wipe the dancefloor is Coppers.

Good quality premium 4-ply is the only job. Never skimp on an inferior 2-ply from Dealz or Poundland.

Zaph

Barely There wrote: »

I shudder to think what the addition of a hose would do to the state of most Irish public toilets.

I was in Bahrain a couple of years ago and saw those hoses there for the first time. I also saw the large puddle in the gents where the use of them appeared to be somewhat indiscriminate. It would be 10 times worse here considering the state some people already leave public toilets without having a hose to drench the place.

homeless student

Davarus Walrus wrote: »

I was a victim of advertising and bought a box of Andrex Washlets. You know the ad where a woman talks to a load of vain London hipster tosspots about considering a new product to return the rusty bullet hole to pristine condition. They all get very excited about this new development in toilet hygiene.

A fúcking disaster. One of the worst products ever. Like using a dishcloth to wipe the dancefloor is Coppers.

Good quality premium 4-ply is the only job. Never skimp on an inferior 2-ply from Dealz or Poundland.

m

c_man

Besonders wrote: »

If someone wiped sh1t on your face would you be content to wipe it off with only toilet paper?

My first reaction would be to box the head of them.

dunworth1

you mean too tell me ye dont use the 3 sea shells?

3shells.jpg

mad muffin

I wonder if Michael. D get Enda to wipe his arse. And who wipes the royal poop chute?

suicide_circus

Next time you're in dublin airport, check out the quality of the toilet paper. Noticed it last time I was there taking my pre flight dump. Almost completely transparent! Thinnest paper of any kind I have ever seen. Its one ply....ONE

josip

The "bum guns" were high pressure in Bangkok.
Pull the trigger and the dangle berries would pebble dash the surrounding walls.

Blitzkrieger

Balmed Out wrote: »

And after using it for a few weeks isnt it so much more hygenic then toilet paper? Yet most people who haven't used it think its disgusting.

While I would admit to preferring it, it is the reason why the left hand is considered 'unclean' in many countries. I tend to spend extra time washing my hands after a number 2 regardless, but with the amount of people I see not washing their hands.....

endacl

the_monkey wrote: »

?? what are they ?

Careful! They'd demolish yer bum!

Sir Arthur Daley

Is it possible to develop the art of Ghosties?

I Heart Internet

Barely There wrote: »

I shudder to think what the addition of a hose would do to the state of most Irish public toilets.

This is so true.

Richard tea

Deleted User wrote: »

The hole is hardier than the face.

Wouldn't trust those wet wipes near the clinch. Might lead to possible spreading as opposed to cleaning.

You wouldn't want to be left with a moist bung, you really need the dry integrity that only wads of toilet tissue can provide.

Reposting for ****s and giggles. This post deserves more thanks

Davarus Walrus

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Is it possible to develop the art of Ghosties?

To draw an Ace? I just think they are a random unexplained anomaly. Obviously if you drink 12 pints of stout the night before they you won't be having one. It's a real punch-the-air moment when it does happen though.

Duggy747

I just use a plunger to get the poo out, let it dry, get a butter knife and then scrape the crust off like burnt bits off toast.

Gyalist

Akrasia wrote: »

And some poor chump has to wade into the sewer dislodging the tonnes of baby wipes that clog up the system because they don't disolve the same as toilet paper does.

Remember the story about the fifteen-tonne fatberg that was discovered in London last summer?


LINK

Arthur Beesley

Duggy747 wrote: »

I just use a plunger to get the poo out, let it dry, get a butter knife and then scrape the crust off like burnt bits off toast.

Sounds overly complex and time consuming but might be worth a try.

Do you use anything to speed up the drying process? For example the wife's hair dryer?

Claw Hammer

Banjo String wrote: »

This crappy thread stinks.

PS, people look at, sometimes touch, and sometimes even kiss my face. My arse doesn't get the same attention tbh.

Because you are not a teacher?

preston johnny

mad muffin wrote: »

I wonder if Michael. D get Enda to wipe his arse. And who wipes the royal poop chute?

Are you seriously implying that Her Royal Majesty has bowel movements? I think not! Bowel movements are for commoners!

mad muffin

preston johnny wrote: »

Are you seriously implying that Her Royal Majesty has bowel movements? I think not! Bowel movements are for commoners!

I did wonder if One shîts.

6541

Do women pooh ?

LizzieJones

6541 wrote: »

Do women pooh ?

No. We hold it in which explains why we're so bitchy sometimes.

the_syco

Besonders wrote: »

If someone wiped sh1t on your face would you be content to wipe it off with only toilet paper?

If someone wiped sh|t on my face, I'd need more than toilet roll to wipe their blood off my face when I grow tired of hitting their lifeless carcass with an iron bar...

Besonders

the_syco wrote: »

If someone wiped sh|t on my face, I'd need more than toilet roll to wipe their blood off my face when I grow tired of hitting their lifeless carcass with an iron bar...

Calm down Hercules.

Sir Arthur Daley

Why would anyone wipe human shiit on someones face?

mad muffin

Sir Arthur Daley wrote: »

Why would anyone wipe human shiit on someones face?

Why not?

<looks for next victim>

kjl

I'll stay out of this one for obvious reasons.

jester77

The use of toilet paper must make it an unpleasant experience when she's rimming, not totally clean and remnants of left over paper especially when the cheap stuff that pubs use is involved.

toughapple

Claw Hammer wrote: »

Because you are not a teacher?

When I was at school the teachers had plenty of licks. It used to be said of some girls that their tongues were black from licking.