Love.

FullblownRose

Do you believe in love? Love at first sight.

Galwayguy35

No.

I believe in lust at first sight but nobody falls in love the minute they see someone for the first time.

Lou.m

Yes.

But it happens differently for different people.

But yes it exists.

SPM1959

Don't believe of 'love' at first sight. But definitely people can make a connection straight await that leads to something more serious.

Vito Corleone

Never envy a couples love. Behind it all lays a living hell.

bradlente

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL9Aohgd79I

minidazzler

People confuse love at first sight with lust at first light.

It's not impossible to fall in love quickly, but on seeing someone? That's just called being horny.

At first sight, no. You have to know someone to love them. It can happen quickly, but not at first sight.

I do believe in love, the alternative is too terrible to think about.

beks101

minidazzler wrote: »

People confuse love at first sight with lust at first light.

It's not impossible to fall in love quickly, but on seeing someone? That's just called being horny.

Well, no. There can be "something about" someone. When you meet someone and they have an energy, a quality, a je-ne-sais-quoi that means you can't keep your eyes off them.

I don't think it's love but I don't think it's horniness either. Maybe it's chemistry.

I've met a very few people who had this immediate effect on me, and it wasn't at all about wanting to immediately jump their bones - bedding them wouldn't have been on my radar at that point. Just that they were physically and intellectually and emotionally appealing in a way that I can't quite explain. A magnetic thing, as if anyone and everyone else in the room blurs into the background and this guy is in the foreground, even if he's sitting in the corner of the room.

It's not love. But it's lovely. And rare.

Lou.m

beks101 wrote: »

Well, no. There can be "something about" someone. When you meet someone and they have an energy, a quality, a je-ne-sais-quoi that means you can't keep your eyes off them.

I don't think it's love but I don't think it's horniness either. Maybe it's chemistry.

I've met a very few people who had this immediate effect on me, and it wasn't at all about wanting to immediately jump their bones - bedding them wouldn't have been on my radar at that point. Just that they were physically and intellectually and emotionally appealing in a way that I can't quite explain. A magnetic thing, as if anyone and everyone else in the room blurs into the background and this guy is in the foreground, even if he's sitting in the corner of the room.

It's not love. But it's lovely. And rare.

HERE HERE

Daveysil15

What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.

Candie wrote: »

I do believe in love, the alternative is too terrible to think about.

Hate?

Corvo

I don't believe in love, full stop.

Stavros Murphy

I think the real question is "Do you believe in life after love?" Cher your views on that.

truedoom

Corvo wrote: »

I don't believe in love, full stop.

who has hurt you Corvo?

Donkey Oaty

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

I think the real question is "Do you believe in life after love?" Cher your views on that.

The real question is surely how to tell if someone loves you.

Is it in their eyes? Is it in their sighs?

If you want to know if they love you so, where is it?

stefan idiot jones

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LIuOclGA5Og&feature=kp

Wibbs

beks101 wrote: »

I don't think it's love but I don't think it's horniness either. Maybe it's chemistry.

Horniness is more the end point, but the chemistry sets it up. I've found that people who have a sort of a template of the "perfect" partner/love are more likely to trigger the love at first sight meme in themselves, when they meet someone who ticks most of the obvious boxes in their template. The boxes they don't tick are usually ignored, even deliberately. Sometimes disastrously. Bothe men and women can do this, but I've found women more likely to buy into it.

Chemistry may have quite a bit to do with it, or biochemistry anyway. Pheromones, smell clues that tell you this person is reproductively compatible. The first snog where such info as immune system compatibility is exchanged will either seal the deal or kill that attraction in it's cradle. "It's in his kiss" indeed.

Love in it's many forms certainly exists. Part and parcel of being a social animal and when that's mixed with reproductive urges we get romantic love, which itself has many forms and stages. Being "in love" is but the initial phase. They can even track this stuff in brain scans and biochemistry.

Tordelback

Wibbs wrote: »

The first snog where such info as immune system compatibility is exchanged will either seal the deal or kill that attraction in it's cradle. "It's in his kiss" indeed.

So true. I once courted a lady who ticked just about every box for me intellectually, emotionally and physically, I was crazy about her, and when we eventually kissed the whole thing was dead in an instant. I was never as conscious of the dull unthinking matter of which we are made as when our lips met.

OTOH, when I first kissed my then-future wife, it was as if the back of my head had been blown clean off and my empty skull filled with golden sunbeams and Van der Graaf generators.

Muise...

I don't believe in an interventionist god.

Corvo

truedoom wrote: »

who has hurt you Corvo?

No, not as a consequence, just believe that "love" is a bit of a sham in general!

Unless someone wants to whisk me away and prove me wrong!

Legs.Eleven

I've felt that POW! ZAM! WAZZALOP! HUBBA! HUBBA! WING-WONG! "love at first sight" stuff once in my life. Ended up going out with the guy and it was the most disasterous relationship I've ever had in but the kissin 'n' de canoodlin' was better than most drugs.

jane82

Love at first sight is pretty needy and desperate and off putting.
Stop looking at me like that ye weirdo.

Wibbs

Tordelback wrote: »

So true. I once courted a lady who ticked just about every box for me intellectually, emotionally and physically, I was crazy about her, and when we eventually kissed the whole thing was dead in an instant. I was never as conscious of the dull unthinking matter of which we are made as when our lips met.

That happened to me twice. The first time was very odd. I mean on paper this particular woman was damn near perfect for me. Hell as a mate remarked she was damn near perfect for most men, but one kiss and nada. On both sides. Which while a major downer for both was at least equal. In the second example I didn't feel anything, but apparently she did. That was awkward.

OTOH, when I first kissed my then-future wife, it was as if the back of my head had been blown clean off and my empty skull filled with golden sunbeams and Van der Graaf generators.

That's actually never happened to me. Oh I've been in love a couple of times, but I didn't get the bolt from the blue like that. It grew over time. I've had more bolts from the blue with lust TBH.

Corvo wrote:

No, not as a consequence, just believe that "love" is a bit of a sham in general!

I think it so depends on viewpoint, personality and life experiences. I dunno about a sham C, but it can be boringly predictable and repeatable in its arc once you begin to "see the matrix" as it were. There is also an element of self delusion which comes with the heady neurochemical high that comes with being in love. What was it someone said? Love is when you convince yourself that the object of your love is different to every other woman/man. I need to be surprised I suppose and I haven't been surprised in a very long time.

Daveysil15

Daveysil15 wrote: »

What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... no more.



Hate?

Absence, more than hate. I don't want to live a loveless life.

Muise...

Wibbs wrote: »

I think it so depends on viewpoint, personality and life experiences. I dunno about a sham C, but it can be boringly predictable and repeatable in its arc once you begin to "see the matrix" as it were. There is also an element of self delusion which comes with the heady neurochemical high that comes with being in love. What was it someone said? Love is when you convince yourself that the object of your love is different to every other woman/man. I need to be surprised I suppose and I haven't been surprised in a very long time.

Limerence.

Just like placebos work, even when you know they are placebo.

Also,

BOO!

Mint Aero

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

No.

I believe in lust at first sight but nobody falls in love the minute they see someone for the first time.

Actually they do and I'm so sad for you that's never happened, you're so deprived. It's all chemistry and wireless mechanics in love so a strong connection is entirely possible at first sights then it's just a matter of obtaining the pass and you're in like flynn.

Legs.Eleven

Mint Aero wrote: »

Actually they do and I'm so sad for you that's never happened, you're so deprived. It's all chemistry and wireless mechanics in love so a strong connection is entirely possible at first sights then it's just a matter of obtaining the pass and you're in like flynn.

...but that's not love though.

Birneybau

Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time.

Colser

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

I think the real question is "Do you believe in life after love?" Cher your views on that.

You first..:)

Wibbs

Muise... wrote: »

Just like placebos work, even when you know they are placebo.

It seems for me the love placebo stopped working

Also,

BOO!

*jumps out of skin*

Birneybau

Muise... wrote: »

I don't believe in an interventionist god.

Oh lord.

Muise...

Wibbs wrote: »

It seems for me the love placebo stopped working

Try one of these.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfHWpV4Ok-E

johnayo

beks101 wrote: »

Well, no. There can be "something about" someone. When you meet someone and they have an energy, a quality, a je-ne-sais-quoi that means you can't keep your eyes off them.

I don't think it's love but I don't think it's horniness either. Maybe it's chemistry.

I've met a very few people who had this immediate effect on me, and it wasn't at all about wanting to immediately jump their bones - bedding them wouldn't have been on my radar at that point. Just that they were physically and intellectually and emotionally appealing in a way that I can't quite explain. A magnetic thing, as if anyone and everyone else in the room blurs into the background and this guy is in the foreground, even if he's sitting in the corner of the room.

It's not love. But it's lovely. And rare.

Beautifully written post. Well done.

YouTookMyName

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyL9zoYyv8U

humbert

Why not. I don't mean the boring thing that requires compromise and work and sacrifice that most people call love, I mean the irrational passionate thing that poets talk about.

Femme_Fatale

Daveysil15 wrote: »

Hate?

Indifference.

Un Croissant

i luV u2 xXx

Muise...

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Indifference.

I can't tattoo that on the knuckles of my other hand though.

MRnotlob606

The Backwards Man

Like everything else, I'll believe it when I see it, and I've never seen it yet.

MRnotlob606

cactuspaw

Sing it from the roof tops lads...

notnumber

Love is a state of mental illness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4VcvxdDIPs

Czarcasm

Of course love at first sight exists. I'm old enough to know the difference between love and lust, and I don't particularly try to analyze nor explain it, it just happens, and analyzing and rationalizing it spoils it for me. Sometimes I have to though as it can cloud my judgment if I let the feeling run away with itself.

We're often walking down the street and my wife comments that I should've been born with a 360 degree neck :pac:

Of course it can be a curse at times, but I'd be doing a disservice to myself if I tried to be something I'm not, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate that I found someone who understands that it's part of who I am, rather than tries to stifle it.

Wibbs

Czarcasm wrote: »

Of course love at first sight exists.

Eh no it doesn't, unless you believe in magical thinking like fate etc. Plus it depends on your definition of love. How could anyone possibly have deep feelings for a stranger on first sight that's based on any sort of reality. That is magical thinking in a big way, confusing internal template matching, lust and wishful thinking for anything approaching a valid emotional response to another human.

Legs.Eleven

I don't think we're all on the same page as to what love is: you can't love someone without knowing them.

Wibbs

Czarcasm wrote: »

I'm old enough to know the difference between love and lust

Ok, then a question. Assuming you're hetrosexual, have you ever had "love at first sight" with a man? If not why not? Because as a hetrosexual male you ultimately want to stick your bits into a woman's bits and that's why you don't "fall in love" with blokes. It's still all about the bits, the "lust", clothed in layers of subterfuge and social, biological and reproductive complexities.

YellowFeather

I dunno. I'd call myself a cynic about a lot of things, but maybe if the stars all align right it can happen.

I had it. When we met, it felt like I was fainting. Blood rushed out of my head, room receded, and heart plunged (in a good way obviously) And, fortunately, he turned out to be an amazing guy who felt the same. It might be winning the Lotto twice in a week kind of odds, but I believe it happens.

Tasden

Czarcasm wrote: »

Of course love at first sight exists. I'm old enough to know the difference between love and lust, and I don't particularly try to analyze nor explain it, it just happens, and analyzing and rationalizing it spoils it for me. Sometimes I have to though as it can cloud my judgment if I let the feeling run away with itself.

We're often walking down the street and my wife comments that I should've been born with a 360 degree neck :pac:

Of course it can be a curse at times, but I'd be doing a disservice to myself if I tried to be something I'm not, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate that I found someone who understands that it's part of who I am, rather than tries to stifle it.

Is that not attraction rather than love?

Surely loving someone is to do with how you feel about them as a person so I don't know if you can "love" someone at first sight but you can have a feeling that something is different about them. When I met my current partner after speaking to him for two minutes I knew I would love him, we hadn't even kissed yet or anything, just something about him, but I didn't actually love him for a while because I didn't know him enough. Was I head over heels in love with him and the feeling of love in general from the moment I met him? Yeah. But I don't think you can actually love a person til you know them.

Then there's chemistry as well, which is completely different to love, but plays a huge part in it. I don't believe anyone if they say I love you for the first time just before, during, or just after sex. You can have a tonne of chemistry and physical attraction but not actually love the person, but it can feel the same in the moment.

My friend says you can't truly love someone til you've seen them cry, seen them sick and had a proper fight. Now I don't think you necessarily have to check off all three but I do think he's right in that you have to go through certain situations with someone before you really know them. Its like when people say you don't know someone til you live with them.

whirlpool

No. I believe it's bull****. And there is absolutely no way to prove it anyway.

Anyone who claims it was love at first sight, or believes in love at first sight, I automatically assume to be a bit of an idiot.

You would have to scientifically define what love is, and then test one or both people at the exact moment they meet for the first time to see if they fit the definition at that moment in time.

That has never been done, will probably never be done and is probably impossible.

So, no, it's a load of bull****, that I personally believe only stupid people could possibly believe in.

whirlpool

Czarcasm wrote: »

Of course love at first sight exists. I'm old enough to know the difference between love and lust, and I don't particularly try to analyze nor explain it, it just happens, and analyzing and rationalizing it spoils it for me. Sometimes I have to though as it can cloud my judgment if I let the feeling run away with itself.

We're often walking down the street and my wife comments that I should've been born with a 360 degree neck :pac:

Of course it can be a curse at times, but I'd be doing a disservice to myself if I tried to be something I'm not, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate that I found someone who understands that it's part of who I am, rather than tries to stifle it.

It's pretty convenient that "analysing and rationalising it spoils it" for you.

If you can't and won't analyse or explain it, then you cannot claim it exists. That's the same as saying [choose anything else stupid and unproven] exists.