Baby left alone for half an hour in Car

blueredface

Hi there,

My friend has 3 kids and she drove over for groceries over the weekend.
Since, she has three kids and little one was only 14 months which slept in the car and she thought to left her infant in the car sleeping so she can grab the house groceries quickly but it was a badluck to her it took a little extra in super market as two older kids she brought with her gave her hard and long time to return to her car.

When she returned to her car she noticed three guys stood around her car and they were from security of that shopping centre and suddenly told her she shouldn't have done it to leave her infant own her own and they have called/reported to Garda which are on their way. Since, she has never been in that situation before and was so nervous.

Garda arrived and asked her questions and proof of id/address which she has given them. Garda told her they will report it to HSE or Social department etc. for this mistake who will be in contact with them.

We know this was not correct she has done with little infant left in the car for over half an hour but she was in a situation where she thought to bring two older kids with her to grab groceries quickly but it didn't happened. She is no nervous now as what is going to happen once Garda reported to HSE OR any other concern department.

Guys would have any idea what could that be bad for her or what is going to happen after this?

Thanks in advance.

Gatling

First of all your friend is an Idiot ,

Its never acceptable or safe to leave a young child in a car alone for any length of time ,

ABajaninCork

I'd lay money all the Gards are going to do is give her a talking to and leave it at that. But tell your friend NEVER leave small children alone again!

ThirdMan

Your friend is extremely irresponsible and put her children at risk. And I'm glad you asked for advice here and not in the After Hours forum.

I'd expect a few harsh words from the Guards, but hopefully that will be the end of it. Tell your friend to cop on to herself.

Claw Hammer

The social services will probably monitor her behaviour for some time. It is unlikely that her children will be taken from her if she behaves responsibly but if she continues the way she is going, then her children may be taken away.

carraig2

blueredface wrote: »

Hi there,

My friend has 3 kids and she drove over for groceries over the weekend.
Since, she has three kids and little one was only 14 months which slept in the car and she thought to left her infant in the car sleeping so she can grab the house groceries quickly but it was a badluck to her it took a little extra in super market as two older kids she brought with her gave her hard and long time to return to her car.

When she returned to her car she noticed three guys stood around her car and they were from security of that shopping centre and suddenly told her she shouldn't have done it to leave her infant own her own and they have called/reported to Garda which are on their way. Since, she has never been in that situation before and was so nervous.

Garda arrived and asked her questions and proof of id/address which she has given them. Garda told her they will report it to HSE or Social department etc. for this mistake who will be in contact with them.

We know this was not correct she has done with little infant left in the car for over half an hour but she was in a situation where she thought to bring two older kids with her to grab groceries quickly but it didn't happened. She is no nervous now as what is going to happen once Garda reported to HSE OR any other concern department.

Guys would have any idea what could that be bad for her or what is going to happen after this?

Thanks in advance.

Enough said.
Well done to security guys, they were trying to protect her child.

Peregrinus

Leaving an infant in a locked car for half an hour is obviously unsafe.

I appreciate that she didn’t intend to be away for half an hour, but she took the risk. Ordinary human experience tells you that when you go into a supermarket you frequently don’t get out as quickly as you hoped – especially when you are accompanied by small children. Not that I want to judge her – most of us have done equally irresponsible things, if we’re honest. But she needs to recognise that it was irresponsible.

The matter has been passed by the Guards to the HSE. The focus of the HSE is not on punishing adults but on protecting children. Their concern will be to understand how this child was placed at risk, and to be satisfied that the circumstances don’t point to any continuing risk to the child (or the other children). In all likelihood they’ll interview your friend with a view to finding out how this happened, whether she appreciates why it presents a risk, or whether she doesn’t see why there’s a problem with this. They are more likely to offer her support than prosecution – though she may experience their “support” as a bit intrusive and overbearing. Once they are satisfied that there is no long-term risk to the children, they will move on to other, more pressing cases.

Paulw

A HSE child protection officer will most likely be in touch with your friend. They must follow up, following a Garda report.

They will take note of the Garda report and will also interview your friend. They may also schedule follow-up visits, until they are satisfied with the situation. They will consider the welfare of the child above all else.

Flippyfloppy

This makes me absolutely livid. I have often seen toddlers on their own in cars, balling crying & seemingly hyperventilating waiting for their guardian to come back out of the shop.

Leaving a 14 month old alone, geez. I purposely go to pay at pump petrol stations so I can avoid leaving my toddler alone. Your friend should be aware the weather is getting warmer and thus leaving children in cars that aren't running can be quite uncomfortable / hot.

Would your friend leave her child in a locked house for half an hour? So unsafe it's ridiculous. I'm not trying to be mean but I sincerely hope the HSE are successful in teaching your friend why this was unsafe.

DoctorEdgeWild

Shop security/bouncers/wardens often get a bad rep so it is good to see them doing a fine job in this example.

Your friend may get a visit from a HSE officer, as the above poster pointed out. Don't take this as something to be fearful of, it may wake your friend up to their responsibilities and be a real positive for thier family.

BeerSteakBirds

you never leave a child alone .end of story. maybe your friends IQ is too low for her to safely be trusted with the care of children ?

Milly33

Yep with the same, It was bad that she left the kid in the car but we all do things, once she isn't going to be repeating it.. Anywho she should not get herself in a massive tissy. Just tell her storey as it happened don't start making up things or anything..If they do call let them know that she knows it was stupid... They might keep an eye on her for a while and then all will be ok

Losty Dublin

Funnily enough, I saw a car in the car park with 2 kids and a baby it it in my local supermarket the other day. I hope that the shock and embarrasment of it all will sort out the woman's action in this case.

Santa Cruz

I hope that the HSE deal with this matter as a serious matter and supervise the care of the children. It was highly reckless

No Pants

Does the OP's friend have to cooperate with the HSE or can she just stick with "no comment"?

carraig2

No Pants wrote: »

Does the OP's friend have to cooperate with the HSE or can she just stick with "no comment"?

That would be a really foolish thing to do and would cause her a lot of grief IMO

3DataModem

Claw Hammer wrote: »

The social services will probably monitor her behaviour for some time..

This will definitely happen.

OP - you described her as "unlucky"... I would say she was very very lucky.

Santa Cruz

No Pants wrote: »

Does the OP's friend have to cooperate with the HSE or can she just stick with "no comment"?

If she doesn't cooperate with the HSE they will go to court and get a Care Order. There is no justification for her actions in leaving a child unsupervised in a car park

No Pants

carraig2 wrote: »

That would be a really foolish thing to do and would cause her a lot of grief IMO

That's not an answer.

carraig2

No Pants wrote: »

That's not an answer.

As pointed out by many people protecting a child is the HSE's aim.
If they call to see her (and they certainly will) and she fully admits that she knows how wrong she was they will work with her to support her in caring for her family the best she can.
If she says no comment it will be seen as a lack of co-operation and will ring alarm bells with them.
A care order will be sought to safeguard her children.

Milly33

Agree with you. Ignoring them or saying no comment will just alarm them even more. She is better off co-operating with them and being honest! Honesty is always best

mrsbyrne

No Pants wrote: »

That's not an answer.

Heres the answer.
She can keep saying no comment while the gaurds go to the district court to get an order to remove the children from the home while they investigate the case because she is being non-cooperative and she can keep saying no comment while social workers come and take the kids away.
Or she can explain the situation and agree to copoerate with the social services and the gardai whose duty it is to look out for the best interest of the kids.
Which do you think is the best for the kids?

Leroy42

blueredface wrote: »

Hi there,

but it was a badluck to her it took a little extra in super market as two older kids she brought with her gave her hard and long time to return to her car.

While it may well have been 'badluck' that her planned 5 minute dash to the supermarket (had she factored in going to the shop, queing etc?) once it became clear that the other kids were playing up she should have cancelled the shop and returned to the car. Luck plays no part in it.

1st mistake was leaving the kid in the 1st place, but as others have said many others have left kids in cars when they run to the newsagents etc (supermarket is different though!)

Second, was not realising the time she was away from the child and letting 30 minutes pass.

While the 1st mistake can be generously attributed to a genuine mistake, the second is clearly a case of the friend not having any regard for the possible dangers and more concerned with getting her shopping done.

giftgrub

I can see why the security guards might be concerned....

But as a parent myself of two young kids, i have to say I have left them in a the car while I've popped into the shop.

Now I WANT TO BE CLEAR, I'm talking about pulling up right outside my local Spar and running in for milk or whatever. I'm able to see the kids 100 percent of the time and am literally no further that 20 feet away.

I would never let them out of my sight.

Milly33

well done to you for saying that giftgrub I know it is bad to leave your kids but again I don't think ye need to slate the lady for doing what she did, the posters friend he/she is just looking for adive

carraig2

Milly33 wrote: »

well done to you for saying that giftgrub I know it is bad to leave your kids but again I don't think ye need to slate the lady for doing what she did, the posters friend he/she is just looking for adive

Yes and I did give a dig at the start and I am sorry I did that.

Manach

It was a mistake and a talking to is in order, but now mention of a care order for a one off instance is over-reaction and a sign how an instructive mindset is becoming more prevalent in society.

carraig2

Manach wrote: »

It was a mistake and a talking to is in order, but now mention of a care order for a one off instance is over-reaction and a sign how an instructive mindset is becoming more prevalent in society.

We didn't mention care order for 1 off. We mentioned it for lack of co-operation.

Santa Cruz

Manach wrote: »

It was a mistake and a talking to is in order, but now mention of a care order for a one off instance is over-reaction and a sign how an instructive mindset is becoming more prevalent in society.

It wasn't a mistake. She knew exactly what she was doing. It was negligence

Tasden

Santa Cruz wrote: »

It wasn't a mistake. She knew exactly what she was doing. It was negligence

Yeah I'd be inclined to agree. I can't pretend to be a perfect parent, there's no such thing, but I wouldn't leave a child alone in a car no matter what the circumstances. Two minutes or two hours, no matter what the distance. Its better to be over cautious than take a risk. And I'm by no means an over cautious parent, just the thoughts of them being out of your sight as a conscious decision baffles me.

Its more effort and its an inconvenience to take them in with you, and its quicker to go in by yourself but jeez that's just parenting all over! Its full of effort and inconveniences, you can't pick and choose which ones to avoid at the expense of safety.

The fact that the baby was asleep as well, what if she had woken up and realised nobody was in the car and panicked?

Manach

Santa Cruz wrote: »

It wasn't a mistake. She knew exactly what she was doing. It was negligence

For a one off occurrence? ; and from the OP's post she was clearly upset over the whole incidence. Like all state bureaucracy's the HSE's aim is to avoid making mistakes that will embarrass it. Thus to present a worst case scenario (a care order) for a parent over this breach, this is fairly par for the course where the family unit is perceived to have less grounding in child care than the state itself.

No Pants

The state will then look to take the kids into care? That's probably best, because nothing bad ever happens to kids in the care of the state.

Penny Tration

Manach wrote: »

For a one off occurrence? ; and from the OP's post she was clearly upset over the whole incidence. Like all state bureaucracy's the HSE's aim is to avoid making mistakes that will embarrass it. Thus to present a worst case scenario (a care order) for a parent over this breach, this is fairly par for the course where the family unit is perceived to have less grounding in child care than the state itself.

Of course she's upset - the police were called.

If she was going to be upset at leaving her infant alone, she wouldn't have done it. She's upset because she got caught, tbf.

Tasden

Manach wrote: »

For a one off occurrence? ; and from the OP's post she was clearly upset over the whole incidence. Like all state bureaucracy's the HSE's aim is to avoid making mistakes that will embarrass it. Thus to present a worst case scenario (a care order) for a parent over this breach, this is fairly par for the course where the family unit is perceived to have less grounding in child care than the state itself.

And if the security guards didn't intervene she would've done the same thing again next time, perhaps even for longer seeing as baby was fine last time.

The care order was mentioned in the case of the parent not cooperating with HSE not in relation to a once off incident.

maguic24

It's wrong to leave an animal alone in a locked car, never mind a child!! What was she thinking?!

Claw Hammer

Flippyfloppy wrote: »

This makes me absolutely livid. I have often seen toddlers on their own in cars, balling crying & seemingly hyperventilating waiting for their guardian to come back out of the shop.

Leaving a 14 month old alone, geez. I purposely go to pay at pump petrol stations so I can avoid leaving my toddler alone. Your friend should be aware the weather is getting warmer and thus leaving children in cars that aren't running can be quite uncomfortable / hot.

Would your friend leave her child in a locked house for half an hour? So unsafe it's ridiculous. I'm not trying to be mean but I sincerely hope the HSE are successful in teaching your friend why this was unsafe.

While the temperature issue in a car is very serious (dogs have died in locked cars due to heat and dehydration) the real danger with leaving a child alone is if something happens to the adult.The mother could have suffered a fainting fit, heart attack, been hit on the head or knocked unconscious and nobody would have gone back to the child.
I once met an idiot woman with two you toddlers walking in ordinary footwear on top of Bray head. She told me she was proposing to walk off into the hills. She looked at me as if I had two heads when I told her it was not recommended to go walking off in hills accompanied by children without proper equipment. She could easily have twisted her ankle and been unable to move. If the weather then turned nasty they would have been in a fine state. This was at a time when almost nobody had a mobile phone.

JanaMay

I have to agree that she was very, very lucky. Gardaì and HSE being called could have been the least of her worries. It could have turned out a whole lot worse. Fair play to the security guards for keeping an eye on the baby.

Even without going down the road of imagining tragic scenarios (overheating, car being rear-ended etc etc) if the little one had woken up she'd have been frantic wondering where her mammy and siblings were. It's not fair to risk that.

The mother should co-operate fully with any investigation IMO, and hopefully she realises that such actions are not worth the risk. As another poster pointed out, HSE etc aren't looking to punish parents but to protect children who need protecting.

Maybe she needs a little help with the kids? She might not have any family nearby, or maybe can't afford a babysitter? Would she have someone to take them even for an hour while she does her shopping? Maybe the OP might be able to help her with this? Or know someone who can? Then she can show that she's getting the practical help that (most) parents could do with.

(PS I am by no means the perfect mammy and completely understand the stress of little ones, especially this woman with 3 kids to mind and worrying about getting the shopping in. You'd like to think you can pop into a shop for just 5 mins and don't want to wake them and disturb their sleep. But I really think that at 14 months old, it'd be far less traumatic to be woken from your sleep and brought into a supermarket than to wake up all alone in a car without your family.)

No Pants

Tasden wrote: »

The fact that the baby was asleep as well, what if she had woken up and realised nobody was in the car and panicked?

Please, do go on. What would have happened if the fourteen month old had panicked while in the back of the car?

carraig2

No Pants wrote: »

Please, do go on. What would have happened if the fourteen month old had panicked while in the back of the car?

The child would have been frantic and scared. Of course maybe you think panicking a 14 month old is ok

JanaMay

No Pants wrote: »

Please, do go on. What would have happened if the fourteen month old had panicked while in the back of the car?

Well for a start she'd have been very upset! Is that not enough? What would you do if you woke from a nice, cosy, comfortable sleep to find that everyone you knew and loved (and had promised to mind you forever, even while you slept) had disappeared?

Milly33

Again why do ye have to slate the person, god we all make mistakes.. Get back to the subject of nicely given advice nor berating people

Penny Tration

Milly33 wrote: »

Again why do ye have to slate the person, god we all make mistakes.. Get back to the subject of nicely given advice nor berating people

Leaving a helpless infant in a car isn't a mistake.IIt's a deliberate act. That's why people are taking umbrage with it.

Santa Cruz

Manach wrote: »

For a one off occurrence? ; and from the OP's post she was clearly upset over the whole incidence. Like all state bureaucracy's the HSE's aim is to avoid making mistakes that will embarrass it. Thus to present a worst case scenario (a care order) for a parent over this breach, this is fairly par for the course where the family unit is perceived to have less grounding in child care than the state itself.

This wasn't an absence of two minutes. It was an absence of 30 minutes. Are we to say its allright because she was upset. She would do it again if she hadn't been caught this time. This might be a regular action with her for all we know

mrsbyrne

No Pants wrote: »

Please, do go on. What would have happened if the fourteen month old had panicked while in the back of the car?

no pants has no issue with a terrified toddler screaming and distressed in a car.
no pants doesnt think its a problem if the car goes on fire or if the car is rearended by another car in the parking lot.
were all making a big deal about nothing at all sure a bunch of hysterical women its perfectly acceptable behaviour and big brother social services have no business poking their noses in where its not wanted.:pac::pac::pac:

JanaMay

Milly33 wrote: »

Again why do ye have to slate the person, god we all make mistakes.. Get back to the subject of nicely given advice nor berating people

Are you referring to me?

I've offered practical advice to the mother and her friend, the OP. I know what it's like to be stressed out. I've done things I'm ashamed of with regard to my kids. Once I did it I realised I needed to ask for a little help in minding them. I really, honestly wouldn't berate/slate a stressed out mother. Who knows what her personal situation is?

I'm really sorry if I came across as harsh, it wasn't my intention but I do think that a 14-month-old would be worried at waking up all alone when she didn't expect it! (Hell, if I woke up tomorrow at 6am to find my OH gone out of the house I'd be worried, wouldn't you? A baby can't express this feeling in words but I do think they would feel the same as us)

Sorry if I've gone a bit off-topic.

Milly33

im really sorry byrne but jaysus your on some rant today

maguic24

Imagine the mother came back and her baby was gone. What's to stop someone abducting the kid?

Sadderday

there are so manu child abductions these days.... its very risky but I know people do it without thinking sometimes.

I think its so sad, if bringing a couple of children to supermarket is mayhem surely someone could watch them for an hour, you cant leave children alone is the long and short of it, however tempting it may be to 'fly' in and out of the shop.... its a huge risk and something you would always regret should it go wrong.

mrsbyrne

Milly33 wrote: »

Again why do ye have to slate the person, god we all make mistakes.. Get back to the subject of nicely given advice nor berating people

people have to take responsibility for their actions. she didnt make a mistake. shes an adult and she deliberately left the child on its own in the car and didnt come back.
she got caught and now she has to face the consequences. that seems to be a tough concept for some posters to take on board.

Santa Cruz

I know what Helen Lovejoy's response would be

FullblownRose

She did that to make life easier for herself. She should've put the baby first. Going shopping with young children can be stressful so you either don't do it or you bring the kids with ye and get on with it. Whoever contacts her now will need to be convinced she realises her error and will never do it again. I hope she doesn't.