If you were a super hacker

jane82

Im not great with computers. Enough to get by and the odd bit of screwdriver prodding but I cant sling code as they (probably) say.
I was onto Upc this morning and after giving my account number and details I was put through to a recorded message saying there is work being done in the beaumount area and they have people working on it.
I thought wouldnt it be great laugh if that message was hacked to something more panic induceing. Say your telly and broadband are gone and you ring to check why and you get a recorded message saying
"We re sorry you are experienceing technical difficulties due to the zombie apocolypse, we are aware of the problem and have technitions working in your area."

Surely itd catch a few people out.
So good people of after hours if you were a super hacker wizard dude and had a free pass to hack away at what you liked, what would you do?

Dravokivich

I'd restore the old facebook, from 6 years ago.

jester77

I would turn off the internet for a few hours. Any longer and I would get bored.

osarusan

porn site passwords, no question.

truedoom

Become a supervillian. Take control of nuclear weapons with my 1337 h4x0rz skills.

hold the world ransom.

that'd be awesome.

danniemcq

I'd hack the gibson

jane82

osarusan wrote: »

porn site passwords, no question.

Surely there is enough free stuff about. What exactly are people paying extra for?

Kiith

danniemcq wrote: »

I'd hack the gibson

HACK THE PLANET!! :pac:

danniemcq

Also for the record its quite easy to do simple stuff like mess with the road wrok signs etc. Not gonna say how though cause thats bad m'kay.

Or you can mess with HP printers at work to give odd messages on the display when people use them

foggy_lad

I'd crash bebo terminally from just after its inception and prevent the world of crap social media sites that followed.

osarusan

jane82 wrote: »

Surely there is enough free stuff about. What exactly are people paying extra for?

That's what they want you to think.

danniemcq

Kiith wrote: »

HACK THE PLANET!! :pac:

Mess with the best, die like the rest.

Ruu

FYI man, alright. You could sit at home, and do like absolutely nothing, and your name goes through like 17 computers a day. 1984? Yeah right, man. That's a typo. Orwell is here now. He's livin' large. We have no names, man. No names. We are nameless!

whiskeyman

Switch content of the Daily Mail with The Guardian or Financial Times, and visa versa.

Plazaman

Hello NSA, how's about me spying on you for a change?*

Plus also take a quick look on the security cameras in Fort Knox and other bullion repositories just for the giggle (and the obligatory take 1c out of everyones bank account in the World and put it into my new Cayman Island account).


* This post will probably flag somewhere so just to say hello to all those magnificent people working hard in the NSA, especially Gerry and Irene in Section G7, we're only hypothesising here, noone can actually hack anything.

Dyr

I can't type fast enough to be a good hacker

ya need to be quick on the keyboard like

danniemcq

Bambi wrote: »

I can't type fast enough to be a good hacker

ya need to be quick on the keyboard like

http://hackertyper.net/

its a start

or http://fediafedia.com/neo/

Yellowblackbird

I like the PLA. Who helped people and businesses by exposing weaknesses in their phone systems.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vluHIoSWvEg

gramar

If I was a super hacker I'd kick the fcuking legs off Luis Suarez and Ronaldo.

jimgoose

I would sit, perfectly still. Not even thinking, just... centred. I try.

Tzardine

If I was a super hacker, I would hack the face of Justin Bieber, with a hack saw to see if he could hack the pain.

OneEightSeven

foggy_lad wrote: »

I'd crash bebo terminally from just after its inception and prevent the world of crap social media sites that followed.

Facebook and MySpace were created before Bebo. Americans have been doing the social networking thing before the Irish even heard of the term "social networking".

Facebook is for people who have friends. If people don't like Facebook, it's because they have no friends.

jimgoose

OneEightSeven wrote: »

...Facebook is for people who have friends. If people don't like Facebook, it's because they have no friends.

I always thought of it more as for people who have friends, but don't actually like them. Hence a way of having friends without actually meeting them.

GuyFawkes

Why deploy technicians to a zombie apocalypse?

jimgoose

GuyFawkes wrote: »

Why deploy technicians to a zombie apocalypse?

They'll chew through cables good-oh. Being a bit thick they think it's sinew.

jane82

GuyFawkes wrote: »

Why deploy technicians to a zombie apocalypse?

Eh to fix the telly and the broadband.

GuyFawkes

jimgoose wrote: »

They'll chew through cables good-oh. Being a bit thick they think it's sinew.

I would've though control and eventual annihilation and then deploy the technicians.

Or they could do it simultaneously, but maybe my way just in case the UPC guys accidentally get killed.

Actually, let's usher the zombies towards Montrose and end them there.

jane82 wrote: »

Eh to fix the telly and the broadband.

Ah yes. Take care of the important things first.

Seedy Arling

Frape everyone with obviously hilarious results.

ScumLord

jane82 wrote: »

Im not great with computers. Enough to get by and the odd bit of screwdriver prodding

Have you ever fixed a piece of electronics by prodding it with a screw driver?

Username: jane82....

I was onto Upc..

ISP UPC...

in the beaumount area

Living in the beaumont area..

HACK HACK HACKHACKHACK.... I just made you disappear... or ordered a pizza, I'm not sure.

Specialun

I would hack onto WikiPedia and go to the Enda Kenny account and put a full time dick on his head

Then I would go to the Man U site and put a picture of Fergie with a whiskey bottle as his nose

jane82

ScumLord wrote: »

Have you ever fixed a piece of electronics by prodding it with a screwdriver.

Yes negative head water pumps can be jumpstarted sometimes by tappung a certain part with the screwdriver handle.
Fanscan be unclogged. Parts on iphones can be changed by prodding out the old part with a screwdriver.
Youd be amazed what a set of screwdrivers can do. They are just for opening screws.
Better get back to work the latch on my laptop is stuck I need to find something to push it open with.

ScumLord

jane82 wrote: »

They are just for opening screws.

Subconsciously you know this to be true. Stop sticking screwdrivers in things before you lose an eye or burn your eyebrows off.

Adamantium

foggy_lad wrote: »

I'd crash bebo terminally from just after its inception and prevent the world of crap social media sites that followed.

I'd imagine it keep rising again and again like SKYNET in the Terminator franchise, so long as they can keep making money off it. That's the real reason it can't be stopped. It's like cutting the head off a hydra and it'd grow back.

poundapunnet

I'd hack into the mainframe and reroute the database and do all the other things from the films!

danniemcq

poundapunnet wrote: »

I'd hack into the mainframe and reroute the database and do all the other things from the films!

Download everything onto a floppy disc

metroburgers

Bump loads of old threads on boards.ie, mods to prison, and say something controversial in After Hours... oh the hilarity...

AnonoBoy

I'd make sure my Leap card was always topped up and get that sacred thing that nobody else in Dublin has....... FREE BUS TRAVEL FOREVER!!!

Stavros Murphy

I'd pop onto the banks system, add six zeros to my account and transfer it all straight across to the Caymans via a complicated system of encrypted accounts. Then I'd fcuk off and sit on a beach somwhere sunny, surfing waves, not the internet. And never look at another computer.

And I'd say it has been done. Just not by a computer-illiterate fool like me.

danniemcq

Stavros Murphy wrote: »

I'd pop onto the banks system, add six zeros to my account and transfer it all straight across to the Caymans via a complicated system of encrypted accounts. Then I'd fcuk off and sit on a beach somwhere sunny, surfing waves, not the internet. And never look at another computer.

And I'd say it has been done. Just not by a computer-illiterate fool like me.

wouldn't that just make your account remain at €0?

Stavros Murphy

danniemcq wrote: »

wouldn't that just make your account remain at €0?

I'd borrow a Euro first and lodge that. Then add ze zeros.

olliesgirl55

Id hack a major bank or banks and take 1cent from accounts. You could end up with quite a stash. Saw it in a movie once and thought it would be cool.

Or I could hack NASA and put a story up about aliens landing or something. Mass world hysteria.

danniemcq

olliesgirl55 wrote: »

Id hack a major bank or banks and take 1cent from accounts. You could end up with quite a stash. Saw it in a movie once and thought it would be cool.

Or I could hack NASA and put a story up about aliens landing or something. Mass world hysteria.

Office Space?

Greenmachine

Steal all the bitcoins.

Grayditch

jester77 wrote: »

I would turn off the internet for a few hours. Any longer and I would get bored.

You'd be surprised. Facebook etc would like you to think that. All the sites. Dirty distractions.

corner of hells

ScumLord wrote: »

Have you ever fixed a piece of electronics by prodding it with a screw driver?

Username: jane82....

ISP UPC...

Living in the beaumont area..

HACK HACK HACKHACKHACK.... I just made you disappear... or ordered a pizza, I'm not sure.

Here you , this is the fifth pizza that's arrived this evening.This bollix is worn of that dominos young fellah