housemate and privacy

LegacyUser

Hi All,

I'm having a tough time with my housemate. There are no issues between us whatsoever bar the fact that this housemate is storing bottles of urine in their room. (40 large bottles+)

I went in to see if the issue had been resolved and it had not and now am being slammed for invading their privacy.

There are apparently no underlying issues other than a laziness to use the loo in the middle of the night.

I'm at my wits end. Did I do something wrong by confirming my suspicions that that the issue had not been dealt with? Does the housemate have a right to continue with this behaviour?

We have talked to death about it. I'm not moving out, they might. But seeing as we are long time friends I'd prefer if it didn't end that way.

Thanks in advance

Merkin

How totally and utterly disgusting, slovenly, filthy and completely unnecessary. YUK!

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. He needs to empty them and then sterilise the bathroom after himself and if he won't then you're calling the landlord. Seriously, it's totally unacceptable.

Gatling

There may well be an underlying situation here op ,
Your housemate may need to speak to someone professional about this,
I don't think its down to laziness at all ,

I personally wouldn't have gone into there room to look around either

Rachiee

Wow that really is not normal behaviour. It sounds a bit bigger than laziness maybe some underlying mental health problem.
He has a point about you not going into his room. Personally i would never go into someone else room uninvited because I know how much id hate if someone did that on me, but I can understand why you did.

Slutmonkey57b

The housemates right to privacy elapsed when they started storing bodily waste in their room. Ask directly if there's anything else apart from laziness involved, and if not get the housemate out. Be prepared to move yourself if necessary.

gugleguy

contact landlord op - now.

hfallada

Op think of the smell of the house is several months stale urine spills on the floor. It will probably mean the Carpet being replaced and the house stinking for weeks. Would you sleep in a toilet for a month. Because that's what the house will smell like. I think either get the landlord involved or move out

ivytwine

I feel gross if I leave a drank mug of tea in my room-that's just :eek: The smell must be horrendous.

I think you need to contact the landlord/lady. It's their property and I cannot imagine that this is either hygienic or good for the fixtures or fittings.

Plus, when they find out about this (which they will) and realise you knew about it, you might lose your deposit as well.

I agree with the others, it doesn't sound like normal behaviour. Is he acting strange in other ways?

Teyla Emmagan

That's an issue for a counsellor OP. If your friend is really too lazy to go to the loo in the middle of the night then surely they just need one bottle, and rinse and repeat. Storing vast quantities of the stuff is a whole other kettle of fish! I certainly wouldn't put up with that in my house. I would imagine he is ashamed of himself and that's why he flipped out over the privacy issue. I think when you have a vast sea of pee in your room and are living with other people you lose your right to privacy though. If it was his own house he could do what he wanted, but it clearly isn't.

m'lady

Yuk! That's absolutely disgusting, and I agree there definitely has to be an underlying issue here, they need help. If be prepared to move out OP, or as others have said contact the landlord.

Slightly off topic- why has it been assumed that the op's housemate is male?!

Starokan

Storing bottles of urine is pretty much as disgusting as it gets but I genuinely don't think you have any right to be going into your housemates room uninvited.

Within house shares it's the one room that is totally your own and you should never have to worry about someone just letting themselves in and invading your personal space. To my mind your housemate has clearly some form of problem but if there is no pervading odour emanating through the house then its nothing to do with you as long he keeps his door closed.

If you wish to take it further then I would suggest informing the landlord. I'm not for a second defending your housemate , its a vile habit they have developed but I do think you have zero rights to invade their privacy again

Stavro Mueller

OP how did you find out there were bottles of urine in the room in the first place?

Secondly, don't fool yourself into thinking you can stay friends with them after this. I'd say the friendship is on it's uppers as it is over this issue and the privacy.

Honestly, I can't see what business it is of yours. Sure it is odd, but unless it poses some sort of health risk to you, or leaves a bad odour in the house, then I don't see why it should bother you.

It's actually something I would hear occurring quite a lot and is a lot more frequent than you would expect.

However if it does leave some odour in the house, then do something about it.

Teyla Emmagan

That's an issue for a counsellor OP. If your friend is really too lazy to go to the loo in the middle of the night then surely they just need one bottle, and rinse and repeat. Storing vast quantities of the stuff is a whole other kettle of fish! I certainly wouldn't put up with that in my house. I would imagine he is ashamed of himself and that's why he flipped out over the privacy issue. I think when you have a vast sea of pee in your room and are living with other people you lose your right to privacy though. If it was his own house he could do what he wanted, but it clearly isn't.

Emme

yellowandblackandyellow wrote: »

Hi All,

I'm having a tough time with my housemate. There are no issues between us whatsoever bar the fact that this housemate is storing bottles of urine in their room. (40 large bottles+)

This is not normal. Storing bottles of urine is not normal unless you want to win the Turner prize.

Seriously, it is not normal. Your friend says that they are too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom during the night (fair enough) but if so one bottle would do. Bring it into the loo in the morning, empty it, rinse it, swirl a bit of dettol around it for hygiene sake and use it again.

It seems that this person is also too lazy to empty their bottles of urine.

If you are a long standing friend of this person do you know of any psychological issues or problems they might have? Have they been under undue stress of late?

I wouldn't even store a sample bottle of pee for the doctor in my room, I'd put it in a sealed bag in the bathroom and only keep it as long as necessary.

For those who say the OP is invading the urine hoarder's privacy - would they be happy renting a room to somebody who was hoarding 40+ bottles of urine in their room? I wouldn't.

Hoarding bottles of pee is not normal :eek:

ManOfMystery

Deleted User wrote: »

Honestly, I can't see what business it is of yours. Sure it is odd, but unless it poses some sort of health risk to you, or leaves a bad odour in the house, then I don't see why it should bother you.

It's actually something I would hear occurring quite a lot and is a lot more frequent than you would expect.

However if it does leave some odour in the house, then do something about it.

People storing 40 large bottles of urine is more common than we think??? I've never heard of anything that bizarre in my life.

Anyone storing large amounts of human waste (which is what urine is, lets not forget that) in a house which they share with others is automatically exposing those other tenants to a potentially serious health risk. It's not on.

Merkin

Emme wrote: »

This is not normal. Storing bottles of urine is not normal unless you want to win the Turner prize.

I just nearly choked on my tea :pac:

I don't know how anyone on this thread can think what this person is doing is remotely "common" or normal. It's not, it's absolutely disgusting and when this person decided that storing 40+ LARGE bottles of human kidney waste in their room is fair to the other tenant then they revoked their rights to privacy. The OP had every right to go in there and see if this was still an issue. What next? Shoe boxes full of excrement under his bed?? :eek:

LegacyUser

thank you for your replies,

you've all raised issues that i have considered myself. I think we are on our way to resolve. However invasive I was by going in to the room I feel that once summer comes and the sun hits that room the smell will be too much, the task bigger than it is now and like it was pointed out before the house will be damaged.

It was first noted as they could be seen from the door and then when cups were being retrieved due to no cups in the house.. so it wasn't for any other reason that I had to go in..

personally I do feel that their are psychological issues at play and I have broached this before but I was met with harsh words...

There certainly is an element of embarrassment and their part but once it was out in the open we moved beyond that..

I've no ill will towards this person and am trying to be as understanding as possible.. but it's becoming very hard

I would be afraid of bringing the landlord in to it for fear that we'd all be turfed out...

My greatest fear now is that if the issue is initially resolved and should the door then be locked I will forever be paranoid that the problem will continue...

Cheers

Tokyo

yellowandblackandyellow wrote: »

I'm not moving out, they might. But seeing as we are long time friends I'd prefer if it didn't end that way.

yellowandblackandyellow wrote: »

My greatest fear now is that if the issue is initially resolved and should the door then be locked I will forever be paranoid that the problem will continue...

OP, I think that regardless of what your housemate does in trying to remedy this for themselves, you are always going to wondering what's going on behind your friend's closed door, and I don't see this going back to a normal housesharing relationship, to be honest.

I don't agree with those who are posting "your housemate lost their right to privacy as soon as......" - you are housemates with this person, not their warden. And as much as their actions might disgust you, you can't wander into their room to do spotchecks on them or make it a provision of living together that their door must be left open at all times.

I understand that you want to be a good friend, but sometimes it's just too difficult to get past some of these things - you will both want to come home in the evenings and enjoy the peace of your own living space. You will constantly be wondering if your housemate has reverted back to their old ways, and your housemate will have to live with a person who knows their secrets, who wants to know what is going on in their room and is waiting for them to start peeing in the corner as soon as their back is turned.

I think that you should try and help your friend find the help and support that they need, but I also think that you should realistically consider one of you moving out.

username123

I think the housemate needs to speak to a mental health professional.

Whatever about being too lazy to go to the loo, hoarding months of urine would point to some serious mental health issues. Particularly in a house share.

Personally Id be asking the person to leave or Id be leaving myself.

To be blunt, large quantities of old piss stored in multiple bottles, visible with the room door open - its just not on. The fact that it they were visible at all would indicate that he isnt even ashamed of such odd behaviour.

Stavro Mueller

Do you know any of your housemates family? My instinct would be to approach them if you don't think he's going to react well to the suggestion he needs professional help. I don't think this is a case of someone just being filthy. There's more to it than that.

username123

cymbaline wrote: »

Do you know any of your housemates family? My instinct would be to approach them if you don't think he's going to react well to the suggestion he needs professional help. I don't think this is a case of someone just being filthy. There's more to it than that.

+1

This is not just laziness or being filthy. I would second contacting his family. You will probably find he has been doing it for years at home and a blind eye was just turned.

LegacyUser

the last thing I want to do is to become anyone's warden believe me...

I was incredibly worried about it a few months ago, for their own health etc.. and nearly did make contact with the family... but thought that it may be something we could work on together and solve...

Housemate offered to leave but more as a threat because of an invasion of privacy had occurred...

I was hoping that we could agree that it would not occur again and that the privacy would be respected...

I think the best thing for the housemate would be to return home and live with the parents who can offer full support... as much as I want to be able to help I believe the housemate doesn't think of one of his peers as having a valid input.. there are few people to whom he/she would listen to

Addle

Your housemate might not react well to you involving a third party, be it family or your landlord.
Maybe warn him that you have no other choice first before you involve anyone else.

Lumen

<mod snip>

Just sayin'.

edit: apologies, I forgot where I was.

Tokyo

Lumen - mature and constructive advice for the OP is appreciated, muppetry is not. If you can't post constructively here, please don't post at all.

Regards,
Mike

LegacyUser

Ok - thank you all for you input. Hopefully this will have a happy ending.

Emme

yellowandblackandyellow wrote: »

the last thing I want to do is to become anyone's warden believe me...

I was incredibly worried about it a few months ago, for their own health etc.. and nearly did make contact with the family... but thought that it may be something we could work on together and solve...

Housemate offered to leave but more as a threat because of an invasion of privacy had occurred...

I was hoping that we could agree that it would not occur again and that the privacy would be respected...

I think the best thing for the housemate would be to return home and live with the parents who can offer full support... as much as I want to be able to help I believe the housemate doesn't think of one of his peers as having a valid input.. there are few people to whom he/she would listen to

If an elderly person started hoarding bottles of urine in their room this might be considered a sign of senile dementia and those close to the elderly person would seek medical help for them. In other words, hoarding bottles of urine in a bedroom (or any other room) isn't normal and it definitely can't go on in a shared house. Sooner or later the landlord will cop on what's happening and you will all be asked to leave.

A landlord has the right to inspect a rental property once a year once they give the tenants adequate notice. If your landlord gives you notice of such an event what would you do now? What would you say to the person hoarding bottles of urine in their room?

It's all very well respecting people's privacy but this person is not respecting their flatmates right to a safe hygienic environment. The toilet is in the house for a reason and if this person isn't willing to use it like an adult then they are not fit to live in a houseshare. Domestic animals that spend time indoors are house trained - if a dog started cocking its leg on everything in the house it would be put out. Likewise a cat that started spraying urine everywhere. Your flatmate is the human equivalent of a house trained domestic animal that has suddenly started peeing all over the house!

Get them help or get them out of the house. Preferably both.

Cabaal

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Anyone storing large amounts of human waste (which is what urine is, lets not forget that) in a house which they share with others is automatically exposing those other tenants to a potentially serious health risk. It's not on.

What health risks?

Urine is sterile for starters, urine in closed bottles won't smell.
So whats are the risks?

The bottles are unusual but at the same time its concerning that the OP appears to have been in somebody else's room to become aware of the apparent 40 bottles.

If the OP is unsettled by the bottles they could perhaps contact the landlord who in turn can say it to the housemate as part of a house check, this would likely be the best way as landlord could just give notice to say they are checking the house and give notice of this check.

tinkerbell

Cabaal wrote: »

What health risks?

Urine is sterile for starters, urine in closed bottles won't smell.
So whats are the risks?

The bottles are unusual but at the same time its concerning that the OP appears to have been in somebody else's room to become aware of the apparent 40 bottles.

If the OP is unsettled by the bottles they could perhaps contact the landlord who in turn can say it to the housemate as part of a house check, this would likely be the best way as landlord could just give notice to say they are checking the house and give notice of this check.

The idea that urine is sterile is a common misconception as there can still be bacteria present in the bladder for whatever reason even if the person is perfectly healthy or if the person has an infection.

The OP is not at fault here - his housemate is a total weirdo - that is not normal behaviour - storing 40 bottles of urine in your bedroom is totally screwed up! OP, I would tell the landlord if I were you.

username123

Cabaal wrote: »

What health risks?

Urine is sterile for starters, urine in closed bottles won't smell.
So whats are the risks?

Oh come on!

What are the types of bottles, how safe are they - they could break, caps not sealed properly, integrity of the bottles may not be good.

I sincerely doubt the guy is storing urine in health and safety approved human waste storage containers!

Urine can contain irritants to the eyes and skin, and if the guy is not healthy there could be bacteria or viruses in there also.

Not only that but if such waste spills it could attract insects or vermin. We all know what a pissy toilet smells like - no one would want to live with that.

If the guy is pissing in bottles its quite likely he has already spread a considerable amount of urine around the carpet already.

ManOfMystery

Cabaal wrote: »

What health risks?

Urine is sterile for starters, urine in closed bottles won't smell.
So whats are the risks?

The bottles are unusual but at the same time its concerning that the OP appears to have been in somebody else's room to become aware of the apparent 40 bottles.

If the OP is unsettled by the bottles they could perhaps contact the landlord who in turn can say it to the housemate as part of a house check, this would likely be the best way as landlord could just give notice to say they are checking the house and give notice of this check.

Urine is sterile in the bladder, but can pick up organisms/bacteria in the lower part of the urinary tract. So the sterile thing is a half-myth.

Some of the pathogens in urine can lead to typhoid, paratyphoid and other illnesses. Anyone who think it is completely harmless to have lying around don't know what they are talking about.

And as said, unless this guy is storing it in medically approved containers (which I sincerely doubt) then there's a high risk of either liquid or odour leakage which will attract flies and vermin.

Chara1001

Oh my God, I can't believe this has become a debate on whether/ how sterile urine is, your flatmates right to privacy where (s)he can store 40 large bottles of urine in her/his room in peace, or even that you've spoken to him/ her about it, debated it, (s)he threatened to leave....what??

They have 40 bottles of human waste in their room, op- what more do you need to discuss here? Your flatmate has what seems to be profound mental issues- and even practically speaking, 40 large bottles would take up a huge amount of space and the collection will keep growing!
What is they were storing their blood/ faeces/ pus/ saliva/ scabs? You'd be out like a shot- how come you haven't done that here?

I think you should stop discussing it, listening to their rationalizations/ justifications/ outrage and call the landlord immediately. What happens if the landlord finds out in due course anyway? Could you get in trouble as you knew about it all along? I really don't know but i'd say you could.

Look, if this was an elderly person as another poster said, we'd all think it was dementia, if it was a child trying to hoard their nappies, we'd put a stop to it immediately. If your flatmate doesn't have mental issues and just likes to do this for the craic- they need to buy their own place and they can fill it with all the urine they want because we do not do this in our society for a myriad of reasons.

Gatling

This guy isn't a weirdo ,or discussing or anything else you could call him ,
Its clear he has some form of illness diagnosed or undiagnosed ,

It could be a compulsive disorder ,

Nobody here has a right to judge him as already mentioned ,

Bacteria /infection ,vermin dramatic to say the least ,

Just because you don't understand his behaviour certainly doesn't mean he's causing any harm

Emme

ManOfMystery wrote: »

And as said, unless this guy is storing it in medically approved containers (which I sincerely doubt) then there's a high risk of either liquid or odour leakage which will attract flies and vermin.

The OP said the person was storing it in large bottles. If the bottles are that large the person will be opening and closing them a number of times. This is not a sterile environment - far from it.

I am not sure if this person is male or female. If the person is male he may pee straight into the bottles. His aim may not be 100% all the time and you might get some dribbles down the side of the bottle and onto the floor. If the person is female I don't even want to think of how she gets the pee into the bottles. A funnel?

That room will more than likely stink to high hell if this goes on into late spring.

For those who think the OP should leave well enough alone, would you be ok living in the same house as a person who has a large collection of 2 litre bottles filled with pee?

Imagine if one of the housemates staggers into the wrong room drunk one night and falls on top of the pee bottles, causing them to rupture and flood the place. The stuff might even go through the ceiling onto the room below which could well be the kitchen… :eek:

username123

Chara1001 wrote: »

They have 40 bottles of human waste in their room, op- what more do you need to discuss here? Your flatmate has what seems to be profound mental issues

+1

Op I suggest you contact the local Public Health Nurse or maybe the Environmental Health Association of Ireland and they will no doubt be able to assure you that it is NOT ok for someone to store their urine in bottles in their room.

Addle

Is it all in bottles?
Why is there a shortage of mugs?

Tokyo

Hello again Addle...

considering we've already discussed your posting style in the past and asked you to post constructively, this time it's an infraction. Please refrain from posting completely unless you have something constructive to offer the OP in terms of advice.

Regards,
Mike

qdawg86

yellowandblackandyellow wrote: »

thank you for your replies,

you've all raised issues that i have considered myself. I think we are on our way to resolve. However invasive I was by going in to the room I feel that once summer comes and the sun hits that room the smell will be too much, the task bigger than it is now and like it was pointed out before the house will be damaged.

It was first noted as they could be seen from the door and then when cups were being retrieved due to no cups in the house.. so it wasn't for any other reason that I had to go in..

personally I do feel that their are psychological issues at play and I have broached this before but I was met with harsh words...

There certainly is an element of embarrassment and their part but once it was out in the open we moved beyond that..

I've no ill will towards this person and am trying to be as understanding as possible.. but it's becoming very hard

I would be afraid of bringing the landlord in to it for fear that we'd all be turfed out...

My greatest fear now is that if the issue is initially resolved and should the door then be locked I will forever be paranoid that the problem will continue...

Cheers

There is no smell, there is no urine on the floor, all urine is being stored in bottles. So basically, if you had not seen the bottles or needed to go into the room to retrieve cups, you would have no idea what was going on ?

I know people who store their urine in bottles in order to use it as a fertilizer on tomato plants. I also know people who store urine in bottles in order to dispose of it in one flush of the toilet, thus reducing water consumption. Obviously, this may not be the case here, but it makes no difference what the reason is, if, as you have said, you wouldnt have known about the urine except for the fact that you went into the room.

I would suggest that you ask your flat mate to stop leaving shared items into the room, so you have no reason to go in there and also to keep their door closed.

Obviously if it starts to become a health risk i.e urine spilling on the floor, or smelling up the room, then you would have cause for complaint.

LegacyUser

Oh come on, you think the roomate went out and bought 40 nice bottles?

He's either using the cups of the house (as the OP had to go in there cos they'd run out of cups), or we're talking beer bottle/wine bottles.

It doesn't look like a feckin lab in there, I can assure you!

I once lived with a girl who put several months worth of bloody pads in her wastepaper basket and never emptied it. We couldn't figure out for ages what the peculiar smell emanating from her room was. It was so awkward when the bin tipped over one day I was in there with her and dozens of decaying bloody things spilled out. She reluctantly cleaned up her act, but I certainly didnt live with her the following year. We were really pissed off.

Its time for you to be making the ultimatums Im afraid. Either the piss goes, or he does.

Teyla Emmagan

qdawg86 wrote: »

I know people who store their urine in bottles in order to use it as a fertilizer on tomato plants. I also know people who store urine in bottles in order to dispose of it in one flush of the toilet, thus reducing water consumption.

Ok, well personally I would find that a bit weird, but well and good. However, if the housemate is doing all of their peeing in the bedroom, then they are hardly doing it in a sterile fashion. Carpets and such. People storing their pee for tomatoes are more likely to do it in the garage, I imagine. Anyway, I don't think it's something anyone should be doing in a shared house, when everyone else isn't happy.

Slutmonkey57b

qdawg86 wrote: »

There is no smell, there is no urine on the floor, all urine is being stored in bottles. So basically, if you had not seen the bottles or needed to go into the room to retrieve cups, you would have no idea what was going on ?

I know people who store their urine in bottles in order to use it as a fertilizer on tomato plants. I also know people who store urine in bottles in order to dispose of it in one flush of the toilet, thus reducing water consumption. Obviously, this may not be the case here, but it makes no difference what the reason is, if, as you have said, you wouldnt have known about the urine except for the fact that you went into the room.

I would suggest that you ask your flat mate to stop leaving shared items into the room, so you have no reason to go in there and also to keep their door closed.

Obviously if it starts to become a health risk i.e urine spilling on the floor, or smelling up the room, then you would have cause for complaint.

Are those people living in their own home, with their families?

Or sharing rented accommodation?

If you're in your own house, you can do what you like. The same is not true if you're living with other people in a place you don't own.

Toots

OP, aside from the pee hoarding, what's he like to live with? Does he spend a lot of time in his room? Are there any other odd behaviours that he exhibits? Urine hoarding can be a symptom of mental illness. Laziness would be one, at most two pee bottles in the room (gross) but 40 makes Howard Hughes look like a paragon of mental stability. I would definitely contact his family about this. If you're unsure about whether you're making a mountain out of a molehill, go to your (or his) GP and explain the situation, I'd be shocked if they didn't suggest some sort of intervention. Aside from the disgustingness of it, and potential health hazard to the rest of the housemates, it sounds like your friend really needs professional help.

con___manx1

Whe I was in oz I worked in the outback my house was a caravan and d toilet was 100 meters away. Sometimes if it was raining I would pee in a bottle and put it under the bed ; ) I would pour it out the next day behind d caravan when no was looking. Yr house mate is disgusting tho. There is a workin toilet in your house I presume.

Ham Sambo

When you say 'they', do you mean there is somebody else sharing his room?, look, contact your landlord and let him/her sort it, apart from the smell there is obviously some other underlying problem with this guy. he really is taking the piss!!

Dr Turk Turkelton

Cabaal wrote: »

What health risks?

Urine is sterile for starters, urine in closed bottles won't smell.
So whats are the risks?

The bottles are unusual but at the same time its concerning that the OP appears to have been in somebody else's room to become aware of the apparent 40 bottles.

If the OP is unsettled by the bottles they could perhaps contact the landlord who in turn can say it to the housemate as part of a house check, this would likely be the best way as landlord could just give notice to say they are checking the house and give notice of this check.

You think it's more concerning that the op entered a room than some lunatic storing 40 large bottles of urine in said room?
I think you need a serious priority check.

Op get your housemate to move out- this would not be considered normal behavior in Arkham Asylum for the most evil of Batmans enemies.

LegacyUser

Aside from the horror of it the person in question is actually very nice and a pleasure to be around.

I'm beginning to think that there are OCD signs here and in respect of that I do not consider this person in a negative light and understand that there may be an illness.

However I also feel that the other housemates and myself included also have rights given the nature of the problem...

So hard

gugleguy

let's make it a tiny bit easier then:

You are clearly not a "Just look after Number 1" type of person.

How do you think do the other housemates feel? They are putting up with along with you? They feel your pain too. Consider their plight.

Merkin

yellowandblackandyellow wrote: »

Aside from the horror of it the person in question is actually very nice and a pleasure to be around.

I'm beginning to think that there are OCD signs here and in respect of that I do not consider this person in a negative light and understand that there may be an illness.

However I also feel that the other housemates and myself included also have rights given the nature of the problem...

So hard

What I find hard to fathom is that you mention in your opening post that you have "talked to death" about the issue. THIS is what I find so strange. I mean surely anyone who was caught with potentially up to 80 litres of their own urine hanging around their room like it was some kind of piss party would be so acutely embarrassed by it that they would have their room cleaned to within an inch of its life? To have the problem addressed by people you share living space with and then to do nothing about it is just awful.

Does this person hold down a job? Do they lead an otherwise normal life? The fact that they store all the household cups in their room as well (I would so be using my own crockery :cool:) suggests either a. sinful laziness with a total disregard for other people or b. quite a serious mental issue.

I think you need to call a house meeting about this and deal with this issue once and for all by issuing an ultimatum. Get rid of the waste product and clean his room by Sunday or you've no alternative but to ask him to leave.

username123

There is no way the person should be considered in a negative light - its not a personality issue, its a mental health issue - I thought that that was clear all along?

Czarcasm

OP I wasn't going to post this, but you seem to be wavering on the side of putting up with your housemate's inconsiderate behaviour for the sake of your friendship, and tbh- I absolutely wouldn't.

I was a bed wetter as a child, right up into my 20's. Not because I was lazy, but for what I would admit myself were psychological issues. I can tell you for a fact that your housemate's compulsive behaviour is not just putting his own health at risk, but also yours and your other housemates. Urine contains ammonia which even in small quantities can form into ammonia gases which aside from the unpleasant odour, will strip the paint off walls, and can present a health hazard in terms of the damage constant inhalation will do to a person's respiratory system.

Your housemate probably IS ashamed and embarrassed by their behaviour, but has no motivation to do anything about it as long as you and your housemates accept their behaviour. The compulsive hoarding is one thing (I see it a lot with people who suffer from depression, it's a way of maintaining control in their lives), but the compulsive hoarding of urine is quite something else entirely, especially in such vast quantities. Obviously it interferes in personal relationships (Not once have I ever seen a girl enthused by the prospect of a guy offering to show her his piss collection), and even in my own personal life my issues with bed wetting meant I would never have a girl stay over for fear that I'd fall asleep and wet the bed.

I struggled to overcome the deeper mental issues that were causing me to wet the bed, because along with the issues mentioned above, house sharing was indeed an issue, and even cleaning was an issue (Using bleach to clean ammonia off the walls, the fcuk was I thinking - my bedroom was like a toxic gas chamber!), also the fact that I'd to dispose of my bedding regularly because I was too embarrassed to leave my sheets, duvet covers, etc down to the laundrette. That became so expensive to the point where it was unsustainable when I was disposing of bedding and buying new bedding on an almost daily basis.

I understand OP that you mean well and you want to help your housemate, but honestly, the best thing you can do for him is not to tolerate his behaviour and recommend that he see his GP as a matter of urgency to be referred for counselling. His behaviour is anything but normal, and you and your housemates shouldn't have to accept it. If this causes your housemate to move out, or causes your friendship to end, then it might be the motivation that person needs to seek help for their issues.