Is this 'slagging' or bullying?

lufties

So I've just started a new job with a big company in the Uk. I'm currently on an induction with a class of 10 fellow qualified blokes. After spending the last 5 years working and travelling, I've picked up qualifications from different countries. Anyway, I had my papers on my table with the intention of bringing them to a department at work. One of my colleagues got an eyeful and started to try to wind me up, calling me superman and 'look at me with all my qualifications. Personally I thought people might be genuinely interested and wasn't looking for any clap on the back or ego boost. Throughout yesterday this continued all day with the same arrogant mouthpiece, the type of person i despise. the type that tries to show others up to hide their own insecurities. I hardly expected this carry on from a 40 year old with a family,

Anyway this went on again today dressed up as 'breaking my balls' , one lad saying 'jokingly' that I'd be the type of person he'd unfriend on facebook, insinuating I was bragging by bringing in my qualifications. The problem is that this kind of thing stresses me out. What ever happened to showing some respect for fellow workers. Since I'm only started with the company, I don't want to raise the issue and don't want to be seen as getting annoyed as it would continue. As a grown adult I thought this kind of thing was left behind in the school yard. I actually feel sorry for the guy(s) giving me this guff and also sad because i'm working with people of this calibur

Alf. A. Male

It's the English sense of humour. That's why they need to import all our comedians.

John Cherry

To some it up in one word it sounds like there just both Jealous. Simple as.

Dyr

You brought your qualifications into work to show people?

Seems a bit...odd

Ihatecuddles

Swat!!!

Sulla Felix

2/10 would unfriend on facebook.

lufties

Bambi wrote: »

You brought your qualifications into work to show people?

Seems a bit...odd

I brought them in the bring to a department which is required for an internal qualification.

He sounds like a knob.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

Can you give anything back? A quick quip or two back might put him in his box.

Or you could try riding his wife?

Alf. A. Male

Bambi wrote: »

You brought your qualifications into work to show people?

Seems a bit...odd

lufties wrote: »

Anyway, I had my papers on my table with the intention of bringing them to a department at work.

Will I run through it again?

lufties

Alf. A. Male wrote: »

It's the English sense of humour. That's why they need to import all our comedians.

I honestly thought they'd be more secure in themselves to 'handle' it and not feel threatened.

Merkin

Bringing in your qualifications to show people was probably a little ill-judged BUT he really truly sounds like a certified arse. He's merely causing a fuss because he's feeling insecure. Just ignore him.

K-9

Deleted User wrote: »

He sounds like a knob.

This.

It doesn't seem slagging or bullying to me.

LETHAL LADY

If it was me I would attack the mouthpiece with such ferocity that your other colleagues wouldn't dare try something similar.
Seriously though, have you tried slagging him back?

syklops

Bambi wrote: »

You brought your qualifications into work to show people?

Seems a bit...odd

Its fairly common for HR to ask for copies of your qualifications if the job requires certain qualifications.

OP, he sounds like a prick. Everyone else in the office problem agrees. Maybe play him at his own game?

Him:"You're the sort of person Id unfriend on facebook for being an know it all"
You:"You're the sort of person Id unfriend on facebook for being a prick".

Do it in the same friendly(kind of ) way he is doing and let him do some guessing for a while.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

you sound like an arrogant knob OP

I actually feel sorry for the guy(s) giving me this guff and also sad because i'm working with people of this calibur

mod: banned

Stone Deaf 4evr

lufties wrote: »

I brought them in the bring to a department which is required for an internal qualification.

ignore em, haters gonna hate. It'll all be forgotten in no time, dont be stressing yourself out over nothing so soon into a job, if the opportunity arises, go for pints with them and you wont be long building a bit of camaraderie.

jessiejam

Why did you have them on the table in the first place and not in a folder or envelope or something. If I was one of your colleagues I would think you were just showing off tbh. I would probably wind you up about it a little but then leave it at that. I wouldn't think its bullying just pulling the p1ss out of the new guy. Take it with a pinch of salt id say. Probably just a bit of banter.

gugleguy

Sulla Felix wrote: »

2/10 would unfriend on facebook.

Maybe OP's on Linkedin. That's way he should worry about.

lufties

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

If it was me I would attack the mouthpiece with such ferocity that your other colleagues wouldn't dare try something similar.
Seriously though, have you tried slagging him back?

Yes I have,but honestly I'm not really the 'slagging', kind of person especially in a professional environment.

yawhat!

Did the job you allready secured ask you to bring in your qualifications? Surely they would have having them on your C.V?

Why didn't you keep in them an envelope or folder or something?

TheDoc

No being bad but the fact you have to ask on a forum if this is bullying or "banter" is partially the reason workplaces are increasingly becoming an outragous PC gone mad environment.

I fully appreciate and respect people should never be subject to bullying in the workplace, but there is good grounds for having a laugh, a bit of craic, but most importantly being yourself and comfortable with yourself.

Yeah sure some people are are ball breakers, you deal with it and get over it. I'd a boss who thought he was the funniest lad in the world, always breaking balls. You just throw some **** back, ignore it, and just mvoe on.

You had a plathora of qualifications on your desk, with the subconscious intention of letting people see. If you were in anyway conscious about not being a show off, you'd have put them in an envelope, in a folder or if your bag. If someone routed through your ****, different story.

Looks to me you left out some stuff trying to draw a few compliments, and instead you got a slagging.

I'm not having a pop at you, but that mindset and to be honest the lack of ability to decypher if something is a joke or bullying, really, REALLY annoys me.



Also, as you said yourself, your the new guy. Expect to get a few slaggings, and just put on a smile and show you can take it. There is nothing worse in life them someone that cant take a joke. And that's irregards of your proffesion. Every job and walk of life have some jokes, and new starters getting ****. I'm in a proffesional environment and got some **** as the noob, it was all jovial, to be fair was childsplay to what I was used to with my mates, dished a bit back, its all smiles and we are all fine.

For alot of people having a little back and forth of slagging and jokes, is a pretty good way to ease into the team/department of a new place pretty quickly.

lufties

Stone Deaf 4evr wrote: »

ignore em, haters gonna hate. It'll all be forgotten in no time, dont be stressing yourself out over nothing so soon into a job, if the opportunity arises, go for pints with them and you wont be long building a bit of camaraderie.

Yea but its constant and i hate twats like that, can't help feeling annoyed.

ScumLord

lufties wrote: »

Yes I have,but honestly I'm not really the 'slagging', kind of person especially in a professional environment.

Hit him a box so.

He's highlighted himself as being dumber than you, it's perfect ammo for counters.

waraf

lufties wrote: »

... sad because i'm working with people of this calibur

You really should have learned how to spell calibre before making this statement

freshpopcorn

My sister has obtained many degrees over the years and she topped the class countless times. Whilst she could go around telling people this she doesn't. The only people that know are her family, her boss and the other people who were on the interview ing panel when she got her jobs. She knows people don't like show offs.

LETHAL LADY

lufties wrote: »

Yes I have,but honestly I'm not really the 'slagging', kind of person especially in a professional environment.

Well just ignore it then OP. In my experience of new jobs, starting courses etc., the mouthpiece on the first day usually ends the most disliked so give it time.

lufties

TheDoc wrote: »

No being bad but the fact you have to ask on a forum if this is bullying or "banter" is partially the reason workplaces are increasingly becoming an outragous PC gone mad environment.

I fully appreciate and respect people should never be subject to bullying in the workplace, but there is good grounds for having a laugh, a bit of craic, but most importantly being yourself and comfortable with yourself.

Yeah sure some people are are ball breakers, you deal with it and get over it. I'd a boss who thought he was the funniest lad in the world, always breaking balls. You just throw some **** back, ignore it, and just mvoe on.

You had a plathora of qualifications on your desk, with the subconscious intention of letting people see. If you were in anyway conscious about not being a show off, you'd have put them in an envelope, in a folder or if your bag. If someone routed through your ****, different story.

Looks to me you left out some stuff trying to draw a few compliments, and instead you got a slagging.

I'm not having a pop at you, but that mindset and to be honest the lack of ability to decypher if something is a joke or bullying, really, REALLY annoys me.

To be honest, I thought people might find it interesting, given the profession, and I'm also proud of them. I would find something like that interesting. If I'm going home in the evening about it, it's not 'banter', once or twice is grand but constantly throughout a day or two is something else more sinister.

Fishyfreak

*Quickly takes 'Manual Handling', 'First Aid FETAC Level 3' and 'Train the Trainer' certificates off the wall in work*

Seriously though, it's only a bit of banter and I imagine they are persisting because you aren't "really the 'slagging', kind of person especially in a professional environment".

Completely agree that you subconsciously left them out to draw good comments/approval.

R P McMurphy

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

If it was me I would attack the mouthpiece with such ferocity that your other colleagues wouldn't dare try something similar.
Seriously though, have you tried slagging him back?

I think you should go down this route. Be pretty mean. Definitely attack him where he has shown weakness

lufties

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Well just ignore it then OP. In my experience of new jobs, starting courses etc., the mouthpiece on the first day usually ends the most disliked so give it time.

Thanks LL, it does seem like he's going around as if he's god's gift to the job, visably pissing people off in the process.

Lyaiera

You're perfectly entitled to think the guy a bollicks. As Lethal Lady said he's probably despised by everyone else, has a small cadre of people that go around thinking they're amazing and is oblivious to everyone thinking he's an unprofessional, annoying twat.

If it's getting you tell him to cop on, that you're there to do a job not listen to his wit. You're not going to be friends with him anyway. Fook him.

wandatowell

Tell the prick you have a uncle in "the ra" as we all do in ireland

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

Ishmael

Response:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlYtUxAortY

lufties

Lyaiera wrote: »

You're perfectly entitled to think the guy a bollicks. As Lethal Lady said he's probably despised by everyone else, has a small cadre of people that go around thinking they're amazing and is oblivious to everyone thinking he's an unprofessional, annoying twat.

If it's getting you tell him to cop on, that you're there to do a job not listen to his wit. You're not going to be friends with him anyway. Fook him.

Yea I think I'll have a quiet word. He also had a pop at me for wearing a scarf and flatcap, I mean ffs, this guy is 40:eek:

TheDoc

lufties wrote: »

To be honest, I thought people might find it interesting, given the profession, and I'm also proud of them. I would find something like that interesting. If I'm going home in the evening about it, it's not 'banter', once or twice is grand but constantly throughout a day or two is something else more sinister.

What is the profession if you dont mind me asking, sorry if you already mentioned it?

Like I said I wasn't having a pop at you, but bullying and slagging is become a more blurred line everyday, what I might think is a laugh someone might think offensive etc. etc.

I'd say if it keeps up being persistent just raise it via relevant procedure.

Personally I'd throw a few slags back. If your not comfortable/confident at that, catch him alone in the canteen or something and ask him if he has a problem. If he says hes only messing tel him your not laughing.

Plenty of people in the workspace have rubbish sense of humour, and sometimes need to be told their not funny, its just crast, and to shut the **** up.

I'd always advocate trying to sort it yourself before going via procedures. TBH going via an official channel after only starting isnt going to set you up well at all in the long run

Renegade Mechanic

lufties wrote: »

Thanks LL, it does seem like he's going around as if he's god's gift to the job, visably pissing people off in the process.

If you know for sure that others are being pissed off by him then you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Trust me on this: nothing unites a workforce in agreement, regardless of their position in life, moreso than the guy who is a c*nt. Give it a few weeks and the other people will gradually include you but under no circumstances should you A: rise to his crap as it will make rest see you as someone they can wind up for a laugh, though tbf, you appear to know that well enough:)
And B: Im sure you wont but dont go out of your way to "win him over" either as youll just be viewed as badly as he is.

Just be passive, laugh at the cracks, give a few digs of your own (banter is the life blood of any work place) and everything will start falling into place.

Lyaiera

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Just be passive, laugh at the cracks, give a few digs of your own (banter is the life blood of any work place)

That's rubbish, "banter?" I've worked plenty of places that had no slagging of anyone or taking the piss. They were still social the people just didn't get off on insulting people and hiding it as "a laugh."

shopaholic01

I would start every sentence with ''Now, you probably won't understand this, but .........'', while looking at him in a condescending and pitiful manner.

Whatever you do, don't let them know it bothers you.

pundy

lufties wrote: »

Yea I think I'll have a quiet word. He also had a pop at me for wearing a scarf and flatcap, I mean ffs, this guy is 40:eek:

i think that you should less have a "quiet" word and more out with it at the time, on the spot. you've already shown one full day or more of what you think is weakness, but if you look at it differently, and say "ok, day one - got ripped apart and slagged all day" - part of your overall plan. they think you're the wuss now, so it'll be even more of a shock when you reef them out of it in front of everyone!

quiet word might only end up in more grief - paranoia about whether they are all discussing it behind your back etc... better off just get it out there and you'll feel much better, and they'll feel like a cvnt.

Lyaiera

Lyaiera wrote: »

That's rubbish, "banter?" I've worked plenty of places that had no slagging of anyone or taking the piss. They were still social the people just didn't get off on insulting people and hiding it as "a laugh."

I think you missed RG's point completely.

Red Crow

lufties wrote: »

To be honest, I thought people might find it interesting, given the profession, and I'm also proud of them. I would find something like that interesting. If I'm going home in the evening about it, it's not 'banter', once or twice is grand but constantly throughout a day or two is something else more sinister.

Sorry but it's weird bringing a stack of qualifications into work. You already have the job so they know that you're qualified.

If you don't want to be involved in a bit if banter then keep your head down and don't stand out i.e don't leave a stack of your qualifications on the desk.

You're showing off is what you're doing

lufties

Lyaiera wrote: »

That's rubbish, "banter?" I've worked plenty of places that had no slagging of anyone or taking the piss. They were still social the people just didn't get off on insulting people and hiding it as "a laugh."

Thats true, I never understood taking someone down, it just screams insecurity and is well...a bit embarrassing

Wompa1

Try to avoid talking to the guy. Somebody like that, when given enough rope will end up hanging themselves

lufties

Red Crow wrote: »

Sorry but it's weird bringing a stack of qualifications into work. You already have the job so they know that you're qualified.

If you don't want to be involved in a bit if banter then keep your head down and don't stand out i.e don't leave a stack of your qualifications on the desk.

You're showing off is what you're doing

In aviation there's a quality department that needs to go through your quals to issue approval. I had brought them in for this purpose and was going through them on the desk, perhaps subconciously so people would see and I could talk about how I got them etc, honestly not looking for compliments, but to simply chat about it.

Lyaiera

Deleted User wrote: »

I think you missed RG's point completely.

No. I didn't. He seems to want someone to be passive, "laugh at the cracks," and "give a few digs of your own," supposedly "banter is the life blood." It seems he just wants the op to tolerate it. It's make the op uncomfortable and people are trying to say it's the done thing to put up with it as it'll work out in the end. I don't agree. I don't think "banter" is professional and I don't think it's necessary. There are plenty of people who agree with me as I've been in lots of workplaces where banter wasn't a part of the job's social aspect.

Now unless you're saying he was being sarcastic and nobody should tolerate banter unless they want to then, no, I don't think I missed any point.

Artful_Badger

Just try ignore him as best ya can OP. Probably isnt worth making much of an issue out of it beyond just making it clear you're not a fan of his behaviour.

But if it does continue and get to the point where you personally or your work is being affected by it then dont hesitate to talk to management. You shouldn't have to put up with assholes like that, especially not as an adult in the workplace.

Also taking the piss out of people you dont particularly know isn't banter. Its being an asshole.

lufties

Lyaiera wrote: »

No. I didn't. He seems to want someone to be passive, "laugh at the cracks," and "give a few digs of your own," supposedly "banter is the life blood." It seems he just wants the op to tolerate it. It's make the op uncomfortable and people are trying to say it's the done thing to put up with it as it'll work out in the end. I don't agree. I don't think "banter" is professional and I don't think it's necessary. There are plenty of people who agree with me as I've been in lots of workplaces where banter wasn't a part of the job's social aspect.

Now unless you're saying he was being sarcastic and nobody should tolerate banter unless they want to then, no, I don't think I missed any point.

My sentiments exactly, good post!

Dozen Wicked Words

The bloke slagging etc comes across, as described, as Homer Simpson like , which would make OP Frank Grimes.

Renegade Mechanic

Lyaiera wrote: »

That's rubbish, "banter?" I've worked plenty of places that had no slagging of anyone or taking the piss. They were still social the people just didn't get off on insulting people and hiding it as "a laugh."

lufties wrote: »

Thats true, I never understood taking someone down, it just screams insecurity and is well...a bit embarrassing

There is a huge difference between banter and belittling someone in particular. Theres no real... "explanation" for it as such but it is something most people know well. I still laugh, along with most others about a time concerning a rather expensive mistake I made in my first few weeks at my current job, but someone else will take the same ribbing for something he has done.

"Banter" goes around the entire work place. When it just focuses on one person, and no one else, then it is indeed something more sinister.

Again, back to my current job I was subject to some digs but as I was new there, it was totally to be expected. Still, I made a decision to fall back, take stock of the surroundings and found we were all at it. No one person was being focused on so with that in mind I was perfectly comfortable, I fell into line and weve all worked well together since:)