Baby will not stop

tom_tarbucket

Hello

As I write this, I'm awake yet again. Our baby is just 4 months old. He does not have any sickness and is healthy, normal weight etc. he is very well looked after ( in fact I think too well looked after - we do everything we can for him ) Our doctor and health nurse say he is perfectly healthy. He does not have colic or reflux.

This is our first baby, he is being breast fed and sometimes we mix in bottles.


In the 4 months, the longest he has slept non stop is max 3 hours. It's just getting ridiculous at this stage, every fookin night, it's the same thing, in the cot, sleep for an hour or 2, then bloody crying again.

I know babies for the first while are a bit unsettled but after 3 or 4 months, I was expecting some slight settling down.

We have tried different cots, tried his pram, with him in the bed etc and still no good.

My friends have babies of a similar age and they seem to get 6 hours stretches or even more.

He is totally taking our lives over, yes I know that's what they do but this lad hasn't given us one half decent night in 4 months. It's seriously driving us insane.

Does this seem normal ?

I'm wondering is there something wrong with him.

alexuszane

Not sure if it's normal, but thought I would share my sympathy with you. My partner is due in October so I'm sure I'll share your experience. Hope you get some rest soon

tom_tarbucket

alexuszane wrote: »

Not sure if it's normal, but thought I would share my sympathy with you. My partner is due in October so I'm sure I'll share your experience. Hope you get some rest soon

Thanks !

bbam

Really there's no "normal".
If the baby is healthy then the sleep will happen at some stage..

Not what you want to hear, some sleep, some don't.. And friends sometimes exaggerate too !!

Try and relax.. find some system that works for you to get you beyond this problem..

People will say "you must do this", " we always do this", "this always works", fine, nod be polite and even try some of the stuff you hear... But your baby isn't their baby so it needs something different..

Soon enough this will have passed... even if its just replaced with another seemingly impassable thing like teething... it too will pass...

Baby could be Hungry.

Could have upset tummy if he hasnt been burped properly or the milk was too cold.

Have you tried some calpol to settle him at night?

tom_tarbucket

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Baby could be Hungry.

Could have upset tummy if he hasnt been burped properly or the milk was too cold.

Have you tried some calpol to settle him at night?

He is being fed every 3 hours. Or sometimes more often. We always be sure and get wind up. We spend longer at winding sometimes than we do at feeding. We heat his milk bottles.

Might try some calpol.

tom_tarbucket

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

He is being fed every 3 hours. Or sometimes more often. We always be sure and get wind up. We spend longer at winding sometimes than we do at feeding. We heat his milk bottles.

Might try some calpol.

Hopefully the Calpol will help, my daughter is 2 and she wakes up every few hours to have her soother put back in her mouth!

The joys of parenting!

mikom

You using pacifier/dummy OP?

tom_tarbucket

mikom wrote: »

You using pacifier/dummy OP?

Tried it multiples of times, manually holding it in for ages during day trying to get him used to it, dipping it in milk etc.

But he just spits it out within a minute or 2. Have tried 4 different brands of dummy.

DM addict

If he keeps spitting out the dummy he's probably not interested in one.

Hate to say it, but this could just be the way he is right now. If you don't think there's anything wrong in terms of bottles-wind-nappy then you might just have to live with it for now. Sorry

Millem

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Hello

As I write this, I'm awake yet again. Our baby is just 4 months old. He does not have any sickness and is healthy, normal weight etc. he is very well looked after ( in fact I think too well looked after - we do everything we can for him ) Our doctor and health nurse say he is perfectly healthy. He does not have colic or reflux.

This is our first baby, he is being breast fed and sometimes we mix in bottles.


In the 4 months, the longest he has slept non stop is max 3 hours. It's just getting ridiculous at this stage, every fookin night, it's the same thing, in the cot, sleep for an hour or 2, then bloody crying again.

I know babies for the first while are a bit unsettled but after 3 or 4 months, I was expecting some slight settling down.

We have tried different cots, tried his pram, with him in the bed etc and still no good.

My friends have babies of a similar age and they seem to get 6 hours stretches or even more.

He is totally taking our lives over, yes I know that's what they do but this lad hasn't given us one half decent night in 4 months. It's seriously driving us insane.

Does this seem normal ?

I'm wondering is there something wrong with him.

My baby is 9 weeks and is a very very hungry baby. When he was breast fed/ combination fed he would literally look for it every 90 mins! I was so exhausted my milk dried up. I will never forget the tiredness I don't know how I was functioning. Since being fully formula fed he is a different baby he sleeps for long stretches during the night (he got a dream feed at 10pm and is getting fed now). Sometimes he goes for longer! He then goes straight back to sleep.

bp

I am all for breast feeding but at that stage we were giving a bottle of formula at bed time as we found we would get a long stretch in formula - an extra hour at least.

Also there is something called sleep regression at about 18 weeks where they don't sleep very well for up to a week....we found we got more sleep after that

Cunning Stunt

OP have you tried using one of the formulas available for 'hungrier babies'? Maybe he will sleep a bit longer if you use that.

tom_tarbucket

Millem wrote: »

My baby is 9 weeks and is a very very hungry baby. When he was breast fed/ combination fed he would literally look for it every 90 mins! I was so exhausted my milk dried up. I will never forget the tiredness I don't know how I was functioning. Since being fully formula fed he is a different baby he sleeps for long stretches during the night (he got a dream feed at 10pm and is getting fed now). Sometimes he goes for longer! He then goes straight back to sleep.

We tend to give him a an aptamil bottle at about 8 or 9 pm some nights. He drinks it all down, but still does not seem to make him sleep any longer.......maybe he just needs to be on aptamil bottles full time for the sleeping to change.

Roesy

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

We tend to give him a an aptamil bottle at about 8 or 9 pm some nights. He drinks it all down, but still does not seem to make him sleep any longer.......maybe he just needs to be on aptamil bottles full time for the sleeping to change.

How many oz's is he taking in that bottle? If he is consistently clearing the bottle maybe offer him another oz. He's being breastfed most of the time right? I combination fed until about 6 weeks. Her last bottle at night used be formula but I would still be up once or twice during the night to feed her myself. Breast milk is apparently digested quicker than formula so the baby will wake sooner. My supply was fairly poor and she never seemed completely satisfied after feeds and also had reflux so I did change over to anti reflux formula. It helped immediately with the discomfort but still woke at least once during the night for a feed for a few weeks so changing to bottles didn't stop night time waking for us. However, she is sleeping through the night since about 12 weeks.

Millem

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

We tend to give him a an aptamil bottle at about 8 or 9 pm some nights. He drinks it all down, but still does not seem to make him sleep any longer.......maybe he just needs to be on aptamil bottles full time for the sleeping to change.

I hate to say it but my mum always says they need to be filled up during the day! My lad is on apatmil too and nurse said he is so much more contented! Sometimes he guzzles 9oz in one bottle!

Roesy

Millem wrote: »

I hate to say it but my mum always says they need to be filled up during the day! My lad is on apatmil too and nurse said he is so much more contented! Sometimes he guzzles 9oz in one bottle!

When my lady was guzzling all day the doctor said that she was filling up for night time.

jaffusmax

If baby is normal weight then an extra oz or two may do the trick at the night feed.

On the bright side you are 4 months in and once over this hump you can look forward to a full night sleep. My 1 year old gets put to bed at 7pm since 6/7 months after 7 oz aptamil and sleeps till 7am. Routine for us was the key she is bathed every night at 6 so knows bedtime is soon. Also could be some early teething going on.

Maybe moving on to formula completely may take some pressure off?

Saying that every child is different. It will end though

clappyhappy

Personally I was always of the belief fill them up before bed. Use formula, maybe try the “for hungrier babies" first during the day in case it unsettles him. Then if he likes it give him a good feed before bed time.
I would also take turns in sleeping in the spare room. Both of ye awake every night is not good. At least if one of ye gets a good sleep it dies help the next day. Take turns it does help.
At 4 months my youngest was starting on solids, some kids are hungrier than others.
Only consolation is that it will get easier.

Best of luck.

lollsangel

Op I didnt get a full nights sleep til my 2 were 18 months....my daughter used to wake 4 or 5 time a night til shes was 9mths, and our son at least twice. They settle eventually...I found gentky rubbing their back while humming usually worked xx

Millem

jaffusmax wrote: »

If baby is normal weight then an extra oz or two may do the trick at the night feed.

On the bright side you are 4 months in and once over this hump you can look forward to a full night sleep. My 1 year old gets put to bed at 7pm since 6/7 months after 7 oz aptamil and sleeps till 7am. Routine for us was the key she is bathed every night at 6 so knows bedtime is soon. Also could be some early teething going on.

Maybe moving on to formula completely may take some pressure off?

Saying that every child is different. It will end though

I would have to agree! I was all for the breast feeding even renting a hospital grade pump, it was insane no wonder my milk dried up from exhaustion . I look back now and think how did I do it! As soon as we moved to formula he got into a routine straight away it was like a different baby! Your babs has had 4 months of breast milk which is amazing even if you do go to formula now

Sweet_pea

She doesn't have to stop breastfeeding completely though, can just add formula top ups maybe.

tom_tarbucket

Roesy wrote: »

How many oz's is he taking in that bottle? If he is consistently clearing the bottle maybe offer him another oz. He's being breastfed most of the time right? I combination fed until about 6 weeks. Her last bottle at night used be formula but I would still be up once or twice during the night to feed her myself. Breast milk is apparently digested quicker than formula so the baby will wake sooner. My supply was fairly poor and she never seemed completely satisfied after feeds and also had reflux so I did change over to anti reflux formula. It helped immediately with the discomfort but still woke at least once during the night for a feed for a few weeks so changing to bottles didn't stop night time waking for us. However, she is sleeping through the night since about 12 weeks.

He takes 200ml, which I think is 7 oz.
yep, he is breastfed most if the time, bout 90%.

Our lad can wake 3, 4 and 5 times during the night.

tom_tarbucket

Roesy wrote: »

When my lady was guzzling all day the doctor said that she was filling up for night time.

We do feed him a lot during the day too.

tom_tarbucket

jaffusmax wrote: »

If baby is normal weight then an extra oz or two may do the trick at the night feed.

On the bright side you are 4 months in and once over this hump you can look forward to a full night sleep. My 1 year old gets put to bed at 7pm since 6/7 months after 7 oz aptamil and sleeps till 7am. Routine for us was the key she is bathed every night at 6 so knows bedtime is soon. Also could be some early teething going on.

Maybe moving on to formula completely may take some pressure off?

Saying that every child is different. It will end though

I always hear that moving from breast to formula will make the baby sleep longer. But it is hard for the mother to give up breast feeding emotionally etc.

Roesy

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

We do feed him a lot during the day too.

I don't doubt that! It's pretty draining when you feel like a milking parlour during the day and then you are up and down like a yo-yo during the night. I started adding in another bottle during the day after about 5 weeks and then after a few days introduced another one. It didn't help my already poor supply but mentally I felt a lot better for it and I had pretty much made the decision that I was stopping breastfeeding at that stage anyway. It didn't help with the night wakings initially but I was definitely less tired and more able for them. I suppose they did reduce in number quite soon after starting formula full time though. Breastfeeding can be hard but ye have given the baby a great start. Whether ye keep it up or not is a decision only ye can make. We had colic and reflux to contend with, it was mainly worse during the day. For some funny reason even when she was waking pretty frequently during the night she wasn't too difficult. It was feed, wind, change, 20 mins upright time and back to bed. She used not be that upset really but that whole routine could take 45-60 mins and repeated at least once or twice. It does get better though. At 19 weeks she now goes to bed between 7.30-8 and usually sleeps until 6.45-7.30. She is having a lot of trouble with her teeth at the moment so we'll be lucky if she stays that good though.

Millem

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

I always hear that moving from breast to formula will make the baby sleep longer. But it is hard for the mother to give up breast feeding emotionally etc.

I know! And I know you can combo feed (which is what I was doing!) but it was still every couple of hours it was shattering.

pwurple

Could be teething. A little early, but plenty of babies get them early too. Try calpol once and see if it helps.

My 2 week old has day and night switched again! Arg!

Sweet_pea

I combo feed as I had problems with a tongue tie, it works really well for me as I didn't want to just give up on the breast feeding. I feed on breast alone through the night as I co sleep and we do the lying down position so we don't have to wake up fully. I them increase the formula top ups through the day as my supply goes down, I also pump to add in with bottles.

If breastfeeding is important to her than it's not that hard to do, does she go to a BF group at all.

Might not be the feeding either as purple said there could be teeth, there is a reason just trial and error to find what it is

highly1111

OP, is the baby in his own room? If not, definitely do that. You could be waking each other.

otherwise, definitely hunger. Our messer used to down 2 bottles before bed at that age. I'm not messing. Honestly, about 12 oz. No one could believe it. First night we refilled the bottle he slept from 8-9am. Also, make sure you have the right size teat on the bottle. He should be at least on size 2 now. Also make sure he's not cold.

tom_tarbucket

highly1111 wrote: »

OP, is the baby in his own room? If not, definitely do that. You could be waking each other.

otherwise, definitely hunger. Our messer used to down 2 bottles before bed at that age. I'm not messing. Honestly, about 12 oz. No one could believe it. First night we refilled the bottle he slept from 8-9am. Also, make sure you have the right size teat on the bottle. He should be at least on size 2 now. Also make sure he's not cold.

Baby is not in his own room.
Don't understand the rest of your first paragraph.

No, he is not cold

How Strange

There's also a 4 month sleep regression which most but not all babies are affected by to some degree. Look up the wonder weeks. It's a revelation to bewildered parents of babies who've just stopped sleeping for no apparent reason.

Also it's not uncommon for a 16 week old baby to wake a few times during the night. They still need to be fed on demand at that age.

Our daughter is a disaster for sleeping and she's now 10.5 months. She's breastfed but everyone and it's mother insisted she'd sleep better if given formula at night so I tried it at 6 months and it didn't make a blind bit of difference. Her brother was also breastfed without formula and he was sleeping really well by 7 months but the 4 -6 month period was tough going. She's now eating everything, has a big supper before bed as well as two milk feeds and she still wakes up 2-4 times a night.

I think at 16 weeks it's an ideal time to establish a bed time routine. This means doing the same thing every evening and getting him to bed at a reasonable hour. I've found that sleep begets sleep with babies so put them down to bed early and at the first signs of tiredness.

Finally remember that sleeping through the night for most babies under 1 is sleeping a 5-7 hour stretch. Unfortunately they tend to do that from bedtime up to 1/2am and then they want to feed and snooze rather than sleep.

Every baby is different so one size definitely won't fit all. I've found that keeping your expectations realistic helps. If you expect him to sleep 7-7 then you'll probably be very disappointed most mornings. Believe there's plenty of babies, irrespective of how they're fed, that wake frequently during the night. It usually sorts itself out around 6 months unless you've got a night owl like us :P

beauf

We had problems with one of ours and had to move him to a heavier formula and increase the amount and they were much happier on it.

highly1111

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Baby is not in his own room.
Don't understand the rest of your first paragraph.

No, he is not cold

it's possible he's a very light sleeper. If you or your partner move in your sleep you could be disturbing him. I've 3 kids and there is no doubt about it - all of them slept far better once in their own rooms. I'd try it anyway.

Rachineire

I agree with highly there- my son slept so much better when he was in his own room. It sucked when he had nights that he was up a lot to have to go into another room over and over again- but he would sleep consistantly better on his own.

nikpmup

At that age my son was drinking 8oz bottles - he's being weaned now, has 2 meals a day and still drinks 4 7/8oz bottles. Maybe try cluster feeding in the evening/bigger bottle at night? I feel for you OP, nothing is as shattering as broken sleep!

Neyite

Some babies just are restless sleepers. I have one and I can count on one hand the amount of nights he has slept through until morning. And he is 23 months.

At least at 4 months, I was still on maternity and could catch up on daytime rest but no such luck now!

SnoozySuzie

Does your wife nurse to sleep? Maybe it's nothing to do with hunger and the baby just associates breastfeeding with falling asleep so cant settle by themselves when they wake.

I think that's what happened to my baba but we just start co sleeping around 5 months and everyone was much happier. I was getting up between 5-9 times a night now most nights she just latches on herself and I don't even wake up! She's 8 months btw. I know it's not for everyone and people will tell you not to do cos you'll never get them out of the bed but at the minute it's working for us and saved my sanity. I can really enjoy her now without being exhausted during the day and dreading going to bed at night.

Cellygirl

Just to note, Calpol is a painkiller for pain and/or fever. It really shouldn't be used to help a baby sleep. Only give your baby a painkiller if she is in pain.

I wouldn't be too rushed to move baby into her own room yet either, the guidelines for SIDS say that research shows children are at a higher risk of SIDS if they sleep alone before six months. Babies aged two to four months are at the highest risk of cot death, so keeping baby in with you until they're at least six months is the ideal, if at all possible.

I also wouldn't start solids too early, particularly if baby has been breastfed, to preserve the virgin gut. The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding/milk feeds exclusively until six months and then solids and it really is worth holding off for as long as you can, honestly, babies who are weaned too early can face a whole range of problems in later life.

Somebody earlier mentioned Wonder Weeks and I think this is what's happening here. Four months is the age where babies have a HUGE developmental leap, both mentally and physically. They often start rolling around this time and also can begin teething. My son had two teeth fully through at four months. All of this development interferes hugely with sleep. Babies can be more clingy, crying more, hungrier, sleep less, all of that. It can go on a while and can be really soul destroying. But it does pass, it really does. Often after a leap like this, baby settles down into a better routine.

At this age also, sleeping through the night technically means sleeping from midnight until 5am, it doesn't refer to a baby sleeping all night like adults do. A baby of four months needs to feed overnight. They need to wake, at this age it's survival for them. It really is all perfectly normal, particularly for a breastfed baby as they need to feed to keep Mam's supply up.

It sounds really hard for you, I feel for you I really do, but it really is normal. I second what someone else said there about one of you sleeping in the spare room every other night so that you get some rest. That's a good idea. Another good idea is the bedtime routine. Bath, bottle, story, bed or whatever way you want to do it. Same time, every night, same routine. Have a wind down time before bed, no TV, quiet time, that sort of thing. At this age too, sleep begets sleep, so make sure baby is getting enough naps in the day if you can.

Ask for help, ask in laws, friends, aunties, neighbours, anybody at all for help to take baby for a couple of hours to allow you both to catch up on your rest. F*ck the housework too, leave it. Concentrate on the three of you, try to eat well, rest during the day if you can, ask for help and know that this too shall pass!

zoe 3619

Just a thought,and maybe a road you don't want to go down...my babies woke up loads during the night.they were breastfed,and having them share a bed with us made it loads easier.no getting up to sort them out.plug them in and snuggle up.either way,will all be worth it in the end.cherish the moments,and don't wish this wonderful time away.mine are teenagers now...whole new set of issues.sometimes I wish I had screaming babies again.

sari

[quote="Have you tried some calpol to settle him at night?[/quote]

Calpol is a medicine it's not for getting your child to sleep it's for when your child medically needs it. Please don't give medications to babies when they don't need them

tom_tarbucket

Thanks to everyone for all the replies, very helpful

highly1111

Have you had any success OP? Hope so.

tom_tarbucket

highly1111 wrote: »

Have you had any success OP? Hope so.

Ah its only been a few days since I posted the thread not yet, but getting there

silly

I know someone mentioned baby might be cold already but I heard on the radio a few years ago that if a baby is not sick, is well fed etc and still has problems sleeping, the baby must be cold.

Have you got him in a grow bag? My son (21months) sleeps in a a grow bag, and 2 cellular blankets and sometimes a light quilt every night and he is a great sleeper. It might help, make him nice and cosy.

tom_tarbucket

silly wrote: »

I know someone mentioned baby might be cold already but I heard on the radio a few years ago that if a baby is not sick, is well fed etc and still has problems sleeping, the baby must be cold.

Have you got him in a grow bag? My son (21months) sleeps in a a grow bag, and 2 cellular blankets and sometimes a light quilt every night and he is a great sleeper. It might help, make him nice and cosy.

Yep, he is in a gro bag and we have the heating on all night in the bedroom

How Strange

Was that Tizzie Hall that said that? I remember her on Ray Darcy advocating multiple layers of blankets because babies are too cold these days. Everything she said contravened SIDS recommendations.

Unless the baby can sit up in bed and tell you he's freezing and needs more blankets there are a myriad of reasons why he mightn't be sleeping. I really do wish, after 11 months of sleep deprivation, that it was that simple.

yellow hen

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Yep, he is in a gro bag and we have the heating on all night in the bedroom

Is the room particularly cold? If not there really is no need to have heating on all night. Put some light layers on and them a grow bag and it should be enough. I never used blankets because even at 12 months I'm afraid he'll pull them over his head.

We had a poor sleeper too. I think it was a combination of lots of things such as reflux, teeth, lactose intolerance (was still on lactose formula). It settled down around 9-10 months but he'd still usually wake at least once per night. As others suggested, some babies just don't comply with the norm. Throw out the rule books and do whatever helps you and your wife get some sleep. Once you accept that this is how it is, it actually gets a bit easier. And.... It will pass

mikom

tom_tarbucket wrote: »

Yep, he is in a gro bag and we have the heating on all night in the bedroom

He is still not sleeping, but the tomatoes he's producing are scrumptious.

Millem

mikom wrote: »

He is still not sleeping, but the tomatoes he's producing are scrumptious.

Well I honestly think he is not filling up during the day. My 9 week old goes to bed at 7 with dream feed (before I go to bed around 10ish) and sleeps till 6. I firmly believe it's because he drinks big quantities in the day. 6 am 6oz 9.30 10oz 1pm 5oz 5.30 10oz at 10pm he could have between 4oz and 6oz. Fair play to your OH keeping going and not sleeping my supply was so bad due to exhaustion I literally couldn't keep up with him. Honestly don't know myself now
What about doing more combo feeding?

yellow hen

Millem wrote: »

Well I honestly think he is not filling up during the day. My 9 week old goes to bed at 7 with dream feed (before I go to bed around 10ish) and sleeps till 6. I firmly believe it's because he drinks big quantities in the day. 6 am 6oz 9.30 10oz 1pm 5oz 5.30 10oz at 10pm he could have between 4oz and 6oz. Fair play to your OH keeping going and not sleeping my supply was so bad due to exhaustion I literally couldn't keep up with him. Honestly don't know myself now
What about doing more combo feeding?

It really isn't that simple millem. Some babies just don't sleep great. I only pray the next baby is a better sleeper than the last!