Beggars with elaborate back stories

cloud493

Fair play to them like. Their ability to weave several plot holes into a story that lasts 15 seconds is quite remarkable. They're like Christopher Nolan, but on smack. The ones who are like, 'Have you got a euro to drive my sister to a hospital in Belfast' or 'I need busfare cos I fell asleep at the bus stop and my son was coming to pick me up but he got lost and ran out of petrol. Give them props for trying.

Son Of A Vidic

Misleading thread title, I thought this thread was about the banks we bailed out.

Birneybau

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Misleading thread title, I thought this thread was about the banks we bailed out.

Zzzzz

Putin

Birneybau wrote: »

Zzzzz

Let me guess, you're probably a sheep?

Ruu

Have ya got 50p for a taxi, just out of prison. Driver wont even stop for 50p!

YFlyer

Putin wrote: »

Let me guess, you're probably a sheep?

Its steep

jester77

There is one guy I see that goes to a lot of effort. He says he is from an eastern EU country, can't remember which one think it was Hungary, and he is just after arriving here to meet his mate. His mate has not shown up and he needs some money for a train ticket to travel to his mates but he only has his local currency. The lad is all dressed up in hiking gear with a backpack and all. He shows up once a year for a few days, but it is always the same story. One of the lads one year said he would exchange money with him at the going rate as he was going to his country the following week. He didn't seem too happy handing over the currency, probably killed his scam

efb

Bus to Carlow

Wtf would you want to go to Carlow???

But he was cute so I gave him €10 for a quick hand job

Donkey Oaty

I like it when beggars put a big of time and effort into their presentation. Can't find a link to the RTE 1970s health and safety ad, so here's this instead.

Putin

YFlyer wrote: »

Its steep

Its? I think you meant - It's steep.

The Backwards Man

I love walking round dodgy areas, rspecially in the northeast of England, you get the young scrotes in a gang on the pavement up ahead, one shouts something like 'can you lend me 5 pence for the train?' (yeah right) I reply in my rough Nordy accent 'Jesus I've no change on me hi' and you say their whole aggressive demeanour fade away.

OldNotWIse

Outside a pub having a cigarette one evening. Some breed of something approaches asking for the usual coins, cigarettes, shirt off our backs etc. He pulls up his sleeve to show us a tattoo and says, "See? I'm genu-whine like" - tf? Go away you complete waste of space drain on society. You get enough mickey money to buy your own fuucking fags.

Vandango

Birneybau wrote: »

Zzzzz

Pathetic.

kjl

have you got 20c for a pint?? I gave him 40 and said have 2.

Birneybau

Putin wrote: »

Let me guess, you're probably a sheep?

Baa

Vandango wrote: »

Pathetic.

Oh god, the freemen are on to me.

Ficheall

My first evening in Birmingham, walking into town, I was approached by a guy who had what appeared to be blood streaming down his face, who said he'd just been mugged and asked for two quid for the bus home.
I was sceptical, but impressed with the act anyway, so didn't mind giving him the money.

topper75

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

I like it when beggars put a big of time and effort into their presentation. Can't find a link to the RTE 1970s health and safety ad, so here's this instead.

Those ads would be youtube gold nowadays.

"John, did you put the cat out?"

Banjo String

Knock knock.

Vandango

Birneybau wrote: »

Oh god, the freemen are on to me.

Freemen? Oh no not those idiots, they're nearly as bad as childish muppets who find it all so Zzzzzz with any mention of the shafting this country took.

iDave

Wish they put in a bit more effort with me, usually 'spare change pleeez'. If I'm lucky I get told its for a hostel.

The Backwards Man

Banjo String wrote: »

Knock knock.

Come in if your good-looking.

Banjo String

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Come in if your good-looking.

I'm a gorgeous Bastard.

Banjo String

The Backwards Man wrote: »

edit; now you deleted your post and made me look like an ididot.:( As if I need any help like. :P

No its still there.

Try again so.

Knock knock.

The Backwards Man

Banjo String wrote: »

No its still there.

Try again so.

Knock knock.

Come in if your good-looking.

Birneybau

Vandango wrote: »

Freemen? Oh no not those idiots, they're nearly as bad as childish muppets who find it all so Zzzzzz with any mention of the shafting this country took.

Of which I have paid a lot of tax, usc etc.

Are you ever going to let it go?

Somebody starts a thread "My house got burgled", always guaranteed there'll be some lazy wag, "Was it Fianna Fail". Fcuking pub bores.

elefant

Ruubot2 wrote: »

Have ya got 50p for a taxi, just out of prison. Driver wont even stop for 50p!

Poor fecker must have been in prison for aaaages.

Sh1tbag OToole

iDave wrote: »

Wish they put in a bit more effort with me, usually 'spare change pleeez'. If I'm lucky I get told its for a hostel.

I'll try that next time on holidays. More to spend on drink if I dont have to pay for the hostel myself

WilyCoyote

Banjo String wrote: »

No its still there.

Try again so.

Knock knock.

WTF is there?

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Outside Goodison Park in Liverpool. Dude approaches holding a broken car key. Says he's locked his young daughter in the car, and he's looking for £10 to get a taxi home and pick up the spare set.

"Will the police not help you?" We asked.

"No, they can't help"

"There's a young girl locked in a car on a hot day like today, and not any of the policemen on matchday duty, standing all round us, will help you out?!!!!"

"No, that's why I'm asking yous for help"

"Yeah alright. Show us the car and we'll smash a window for ya"

The beggar walked off in a huff

WilyCoyote

Ficheall wrote: »

My first evening in Birmingham, walking into town, I was approached by a guy who had what appeared to be blood streaming down his face, who said he'd just been mugged and asked for two quid for the bus home.
I was sceptical, but impressed with the act anyway, so didn't mind giving him the money.

Probably a sachet of Tomato Ketchup from the local drop-in centre, you daft bar steward

gramar

There was a woman in Madrid airport about 3 years ago who came over to tell me and a friend that she'd missed her plane to Argentina and needed money to buy another ticket. I told her to get lost but we were amazed to see two different people within 30 seconds give her notes!

A few months later she tried again with me and I told that she needs to get her act together and start getting to the airport on time.

The last time was last month. This time she was sitting near one of those mechanical walkways in the T2 building counting loads of notes!

Who keeps getting taken in by this and why haven't airport police booted her out?

Ficheall

WilyCoyote wrote: »

Probably a sachet of Tomato Ketchup from the local drop-in centre, you daft bar steward

That's what I thought initially, but it didn't taste like ketchup..

Birneybau

Ficheall wrote: »

That's what I thought initially, but it didn't taste like ketchup..

You licked him? :eek:

eamonnq

Birneybau wrote: »

You licked him? :eek:

Don't be ridiculous, he wiped it with his finger, then licked his finger!

gugleguy

....but ladies and gentlemen has anyone who tried such a story been given the opportunity to speak here. What if you were successful ?I mean AH is not in the first-class lounge. Do you have the guts.

Sadderday

old times... when you'd park up in Dublin you'd get.......

'if you give us a few pound, i'll mind your car, if you don't, it might not be here when you get back'

Vandango

Birneybau wrote: »

Somebody starts a thread "My house got burgled", always guaranteed there'll be some lazy wag, "Was it Fianna Fail". Fcuking pub bores.

Don't be so hard on yourself, so you posted a tired and overly used few Zzzzzz's in a post. Yes it was silly, but put it down to a learning experience and move on.

Birneybau

Take your agenda elsewhere. Not everything is about the fcuking bankers. Look at how many people agreed with my comment.

Gillo

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Misleading thread title, I thought this thread was about the banks we bailed out.

Does every thread in AH have to relate to banks, FF or the bail out in general?

cloud493

Yep.

Gongoozler

This wasn't elaborate at all but shut up, I'm telling it anyway. At limerick bus station, outside there's a phone box type thing, you know the half boxes? Well there's a woman that used to stand there with the phone in her hand and ask people passing by for 50c to make a call. Probably knew all the bus arrival times.

Oh and the quite aggressive young girl in Dublin who does the very distressed 'I need my bus fare to get home' routine. I've seen her loads, so never say a word to her, one day she calls me a bitch because of that. Hmmm

cloud493

A while ago I was in a chippy in Dublin, and some lad came in, asked me for a tenner to buy him a meal. I decided to call his bluff, and offered to buy him any meal he liked (most expensive in the joint was like, 8 quid) and he skulked away.