Vivid dreams involving recently deceased Dad

kerry4sam

Just wondering if anyone has had any dream(s) where they have encounters/interactions with a Loving Relative, recently passed away?

My own Loving Dad passed away on 20th December 2013 (see here) and lastnight I had two extremely vivid dreams with him present in both in supportive, guidance roles as would have been the norm with him.

I don't want to go into detail on either dream as I've done some research into both & they would be fairly spot-on and accurate tbh to how I am at present.

Just curious if this has happened to anyone else?

Thanks,
kerry4sam

Diane Selwyn

I'm really very sorry for your loss - my brother also died quite suddenly and yes I have had numerous dreams since then in which he has featured. I think early on that your brain is working overtime to comprehend the new and unexpected reality. I remember having a dream that I was walking down the road with my mother and my brother - he stopped off to get some cigarettes while we continued but when I looked back the road was all torn up and he couldn't follow us so he kind of motioned that he would go another way and meet us later on. Another one I remember was that I was in a pub in the bar and there was music in the other room and I could hear him in there laughing but I couldn't see around the bar - sounded like he was having a great time but I wasn't able to join him. I've never had a bad dream about him anyway but I've talked about this with other people that have been bereaved and some of them have had nightmares about it or never have any dreams at all - I would guess its just different ways of grieving and healing. You say you felt that your dad was offering you guidance in the dream and my guess would be that is because you understand him so well that you know what he would want to tell you - that is the part of him you will always have with you.

cobwebs

This might sound off the wall. I remember having a recurring dream about my late uncle. A friend suggested that I should pray for them as it was possible they needed a little hand climbing that ladder.

kerry4sam

Thanking you both.

Truly appreciate your replies,
kerry4sam

kerry4sam

It's been some time since one of these dreams.

Yesterday evening I went for a walk and just lost myself in my thoughts. Came home and had a very relaxing lavender bath before falling into bed and having the soundest few hours sleep I've had in months!

It was in that sleep that Dad appeared again, but this time he was telling me that he was not finished. He handed me documents saying it's yours, but you have to share.
This happened in our living-room/Dads' room with Mom clearly visible also but with her back to us. He was wearing this one jumper he used love wear, and often-times wear when he would work on my racer in his shed.

Just seems so strange to happen now,
kerry4sam

yoke

yep, this happened to me too when my dad died a few years ago. It's just your brain coming to terms with losing someone you loved.

Still have the odd vivid dream where he is alive 4 years later, but they're getting very rare now. it's pretty normal I think.

Regarding your very last dream, its probably your subconscious brain telling you something and using the imagery of your dad to evoke the correct emotional response from you.

kerry4sam

yoke wrote: »

yep, this happened to me too when my dad died a few years ago. It's just your brain coming to terms with losing someone you loved.

Still have the odd vivid dream where he is alive 4 years later, but they're getting very rare now. it's pretty normal I think.

Regarding your very last dream, its probably your subconscious brain telling you something and using the imagery of your dad to evoke the correct emotional response from you.

Thank you for your reply here, appreciate it. Hope you are doing okay

I'm just happy with myself at how far I've come on-my-own since Dad passed away. On-my-own in that I never opened up to anyone; never confided in anyone and never spoke to anyone. Just trusted my own instincts and listened to both my head and my heart and knew when I was ready to do anything or visit anywhere!

Sooo looking forward to some much needed time off from next week though. Have more people to contact in some way; and some issues to tackle.

Truly appreciate your reply here,
kerry4sam

_Brian

My Dad died suddenly seven years ago and I still have really real dreams with him. Some factually historical, some current.
I don't mind them at all and they remind me of all the happy times we had.

kerry4sam

_Brian wrote: »

My Dad died suddenly seven years ago and I still have really real dreams with him. Some factually historical, some current.
I don't mind them at all and they remind me of all the happy times we had.

Thank you for this!

It really does help having positive memories alright.
kerry4sam

Diane Selwyn

As long as the dreams are positive I don't think you should be worried about it. In fact it may be a good thing - showing that you are coming to terms with your loss and at the same time allowing you to experience what it felt like to interact with your dad again. I wonder why you think the timing strange - is it because you were not thinking about your dad during the day? I quite often have dreams that feature my brother but last week was his anniversary and although I was probably thinking about him more than usual during the day I don't think he was in any of my dreams during the week. Maybe the brain compensates that way to ensure you confront the reality of your loss and the don't give in to denial or something?

edber2011

My dad passed away in 2010 and until lately was the first time I saw him in my dream.
I don't understand why it took so long for my dad to appear in my dream but I guess he is busy.
I shed tears as it was the first time since his death that I actually dreamt of him.
M

edber2011

My dad passed away in 2010 and until lately was the first time I saw him in my dream.
I don't understand why it took so long for my dad to appear in my dream but I guess he is busy.
I shed tears as it was the first time since his death that I actually dreamt of him.
My lovely dear dad big pat as everyone called you,i will meet you soon dad.
I know im going to get cancer too so its just amatter of time before we meet again dad.

kerry4sam

Diane Selwyn wrote: »

As long as the dreams are positive I don't think you should be worried about it. In fact it may be a good thing - showing that you are coming to terms with your loss and at the same time allowing you to experience what it felt like to interact with your dad again. I wonder why you think the timing strange - is it because you were not thinking about your dad during the day? I quite often have dreams that feature my brother but last week was his anniversary and although I was probably thinking about him more than usual during the day I don't think he was in any of my dreams during the week. Maybe the brain compensates that way to ensure you confront the reality of your loss and the don't give in to denial or something?

Hope you are doing okay since the anniversary of your brother?!

The timing was strange as it's sporadic dreams of Dad; hasn't happened since this last one posted here by me like. Not a day passes that Dad wouldn't be on my mind, even if it's just me thinking 'what way would Dad approach this; or have me approach this' - wonderful mindset so he had!

edber2011 wrote: »

My dad passed away in 2010 and until lately was the first time I saw him in my dream.
I don't understand why it took so long for my dad to appear in my dream but I guess he is busy.
I shed tears as it was the first time since his death that I actually dreamt of him.
My lovely dear dad big pat as everyone called you,i will meet you soon dad.
I know im going to get cancer too so its just amatter of time before we meet again dad.

How are you getting on since you posted this? You really shouldn't be thinking like you'll get cancer, have you had any cancer screening done? Have a look here please and hopefully getting the screening done will put your mind at some ease. That's too much pressure for you to be carrying imo.

Bet it was re-assuring though that your Dad did appear though, even if it did take some time

Hope you're doing okay,
kerry4sam

Diane Selwyn

Thanks kerry4sam. It was my brother's third anniversary this year and I did find it tough. It's strange but I feel the more I accept his death in my everyday life the more the anniversary really stands out for me. I think everyone probably experiences their loss differently though - I was talking to one of my other brothers about it and he said the anniversary wasn't any different to any other day for him really. Lately I'm back to dreams where he pops up randomly - last night I dreamed that I charged up an old phone and found a load of photos of us on a holiday from years back - there are no such photos but they were genuine memories and it was a really nice dream.

Diane Selwyn

edber2011 wrote: »

My dad passed away in 2010 and until lately was the first time I saw him in my dream.
I don't understand why it took so long for my dad to appear in my dream but I guess he is busy.
I shed tears as it was the first time since his death that I actually dreamt of him.
M

The mind and memory are very unpredictable alright - I've spoken to people who have never dreamed about their loved ones that have passed on even after many years so I wouldn't worry if it is an unusual occurrence - everyone experiences grief differently I guess. I hope your dream brought you a bit of relief nonetheless.

Rubberlegs

My Dad passed away 4 yrs ago next month, not a day goes by that I don't think about him. He passed 6 weeks before Christmas, and on Christmas Eve morning just before I woke I had a lovely dream. We were standing on the road outside my parents house, and he looked so well, full of smiles. He put his arm around my shoulder, and I felt the weight of it around me. He often used to randomly put his arm around me, I miss that. Anyway, he leant in to kiss my cheek, but it was at this point I woke. I actually felt like he had been with me, that this was his way of telling me he was OK now. I'll never forget it. I've had a few horrible dreams too, that brought his illness right back . These days he will randomly pop up in a dream, now and again, but it feels natural, and I don't have that punch in the stomach feeling when I wake...