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friends... with benefits, how do I ask him?

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  • 05-03-2014 12:57am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 20 alrightso


    How do I suggest to an absolute commitment phobe that I'd like to be his friend... with benefits but not his girlfriend? I have zero interest in him as a boyfriend or even having any boyfriend at the moment, ive too much going on, but the physical attraction is great and I think itd be fun
    The problem is he thinks all girls are out to try and drag him down the aisle, told me this himself and im worried ill scare him off if I dont say it the right way


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,477 ✭✭✭Hootanany


    Pm him


  • Registered Users Posts: 469 ✭✭hjkl


    Grab his crotch and go from there.
    Actions speak louder than words.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,151 ✭✭✭rovoagho


    Whip them out and wave them at him. No room for error there.


  • Registered Users Posts: 208 ✭✭Chem Lord


    What's your score on flappy bird?


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,715 ✭✭✭Hande hoche!


    alrightso wrote: »
    How do I suggest to an absolute commitment phobe that I'd like to be his friend... with benefits but not his girlfriend? I have zero interest in him as a boyfriend or even having any boyfriend at the moment, ive too much going on, but the physical attraction is great and I think itd be fun
    The problem is he thinks all girls are out to try and drag him down the aisle, told me this himself and im worried ill scare him off if I dont say it the right way

    Get nekkid and mount him.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,971 ✭✭✭Holsten


    "Let's ****."

    And then you'll eventually want him as a boyfriend and he'll laugh at you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,631 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Yeah it'll never work, he's too nervous.

    Pm me, I'll see what I can do.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    He might be abstaining from riding for lent.


  • Registered Users Posts: 567 ✭✭✭.Henry Sellers.


    When he walks into a room you're already in, be bent over a chair with your pants down and arse cheeks spread and just keep saying"ah go on, go on" with a little cheeky flick of the head too kind of like a farmer saying hello. Works like a charm.


  • Registered Users Posts: 882 ✭✭✭ygolometsipe


    alrightso wrote: »
    How do I suggest to an absolute commitment phobe that I'd like to be his friend... with benefits but not his girlfriend? I have zero interest in him as a boyfriend or even having any boyfriend at the moment, ive too much going on, but the physical attraction is great and I think itd be fun
    The problem is he thinks all girls are out to try and drag him down the aisle, told me this himself and im worried ill scare him off if I dont say it the right way

    We definitely need to see your picture to be of any help.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    Just keep trying to grab his massive cock next time you see him.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,631 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    Just keep trying to grab his massive cock next time you see him.

    How dya know it's massive? He could be hung like a squirrel.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,720 ✭✭✭Sir Arthur Daley


    Just keep trying to grab his massive cock next time you see him.
    You seem to know the OPs friend very well?


  • Registered Users Posts: 882 ✭✭✭ygolometsipe


    How dya know it's massive? He could be hung like a squirrel.

    thats insulting to squirrel's


  • Registered Users Posts: 358 ✭✭WellThen?


    Mail him that exact thing....he might say yeah grand. Or tell him when your drunk. Be weird over coffee. But don't be one of the million girls who start off like this and then 'gather feelings' after spending time with him and end your friendship....usually what happens imo.


  • Registered Users Posts: 20 alrightso


    Hope hes not a member on here or the jig is up!! He fancies himself that much he'd automatically know...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,887 ✭✭✭Mariasofia


    How dya know it's massive? He could be hung like a squirrel.

    Like....hello fwb are always hung like donkeys.....no point otherwise! :-D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,223 ✭✭✭orangesoda


    If it was me all you would have to do is say the word and your underwear would be on my bedroom floor quicker than you could say 'randy wee heure'


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,699 ✭✭✭The Pheasant2


    If you're certain there's mutual attraction just literally lay it out there and you'll have a happy man.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    You should keep mentioning that you'd love a f*ck buddy. You don't have time for a relationship and would just need it for sexual release! Why is it so difficult to find? guys think you'll delevop feelings, which is complete bull etc. He might get the obvious hint.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    Ask your GP or pastor.

    They used to be good at this sort of thing. Failing that, ask the local tesco checkout girl, ideally all three.


  • Registered Users Posts: 20 alrightso


    Im almost sure its mutual. No chance of developing "feelings", can only listen to him in small doses, personality clash! :)
    Why does the girl always get pegged for wading in with "the feelings"?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,971 ✭✭✭Holsten


    alrightso wrote: »
    Im almost sure its mutual. No chance of developing "feelings", can only listen to him in small doses, personality clash! :)
    Why does the girl always get pegged for wading in with "the feelings"?

    Hahahah, it will happen, it nearly always does.

    It's chemistry.

    You'll get burned as most women do.


  • Registered Users Posts: 20 alrightso


    Holsten wrote: »
    Hahahah, it will happen, it nearly always does.

    It's chemistry.

    You'll get burned as most women do.

    Most women Holsten... I am not most women.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,443 ✭✭✭jobeenfitz


    alrightso wrote: »
    Most women Holsten... I am not most women.

    Thats what most women say.


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,758 ✭✭✭✭TeddyTedson


    WikiHow wrote: »
    You seem to know the OPs friend very well?

    I'm a boards veteran ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,021 ✭✭✭✭dxhound2005


    thats insulting to squirrel's

    Don't be afraid to finish the sentence, even if it's something rude.

    Insulting to squirrel's........


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,221 ✭✭✭A_Sober_Paddy


    jobeenfitz wrote: »
    Thats what most women say.

    Would have to agree with you there, I had a similar arrangement, was heading out of the country(to oz) a few years back, meet a girl we spend 3 weekends in row together had fun and a whole lot of "private time" and as i was boarding the bus to the Airport get a call with her crying down the phone i felt so so so bad it wasn't even funny...But we both own the situation...She then turns up in oz the week after i left, I told nobody i was leaving, she also turned up in the same city as me too...Pretty odd...When 2 people spend time together, in such an intimate setting feelings will develop from one party


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 556 ✭✭✭sligoface


    I'd say you may as well just get straight to the point, say 'Hey I'd like you to come over and @#$% me.' Or something similarly cut and dry. Or just say nothing and jump on him!

    But if I can digress into the subject of FWB beyond how to bring it up, can I please just advise you to consider that you could develop stronger feelings for him after you have had all thr sex.

    I have to say that the stupid film with Timberlake and Mila Kunis was right, someone usually gets hurt. I've found that a lot of the time, women who deny they want something more will nonetheless develop an emotional attachment to someone they have sex with. It's natural, and basic biology dictates this to a degree. But then they are in a position were what they told the guy is no longer true and they don't know what to do about it. They have to either continue with a relationship that isn't as serious as they want, or risk telling him how they feel and scare him away. Or possibly get their heart broken when their casual f-buddy starts casually f-in someone else.

    I think as much as we may deny it, friends with benefits IS a form of a relationship. Man or woman, if you're attracted to someone and they are attracted to you and you have sex more than once, I think most of the time you will form some kind of bond whether you intended to or not. You're naked together (more vulnerable), one person has part of their body inside the other, and together you experience what is pretty much the most pleasant feeling the human body can feel. Kind of hard to just forget all about it afterwards IMO.

    But I do hope it goes well for you. If you just want sex, that's all you need to say to him. Maybe meet for a drink and get up some dutch courage.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,559 ✭✭✭cruais


    Get drunk and pounce.... be a tiger and bend like a pretzel


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