Whats the longest it took you to get over an ex?

IvaBigWun

I remember reading once before that most relationship experts (they strangely do exist) think that you should give yourself half the time that the liaison lasted to get over the other person (so for a four year relationship you may be hurting for upto two afterwards when it comes to an end)

This has rung true for me before when I found myself fully over the other person about six months after a one year relationship so there may be something to it.

But everyone is different.

Whats the longest it took you to get over an ex?

beertons

As soon as the next ones nickers were down.

Fiery mutant

About 6 weeks. Went to a dinner for some mutual friends leaving the country for good. Got her drunk, got over her, done the business and left.

hfallada

IvaBigWun wrote: »

I remember reading once before that most relationship experts (they strangely do exist) think that you should give yourself half the time that the liaison lasted to get over the other person (so for a four year relationship you may be hurting for upto two afterwards when it comes to an end)

This has rung true for me before when I found myself fully over the other person about six months after a one year relationship so there may be something to it.

But everyone is different.

Whats the longest it took you to get over an ex?

OP I think that relationship expert you are talking about is Charlotte from sex and the city. Getting over a relationship varies. If you aren't that into them there is no getting over them time

IvaBigWun

hfallada wrote: »

OP I think that relationship expert you are talking about is Charlotte from sex and the city.

I have never seen that show (burn it with fire!), so this article must have been paraphrasing the character

razorblunt

Alt+F4, done.

Seriously though a couple of weeks.

pablohoney87

I was having trouble getting over an ex.

This helped http://www.quickmeme.com/img/5f/5f6b5470bb193687210875532ddff20b445267533ad8e7e6315d6416db9cf85c.jpg

Starbordsie

1.5 years.

IvaBigWun

To add: I think "being over someone" differs from person to person but I think it would include being ok with seeing them with a new partner and/or going for coffee with them purely as a friend

Penny Tration

About three months, or a little less. We were together for a couple of years.

The other 2 year relationships took me 2 weeks and one month to get over.

D-FENS

Usually a couple of minutes after they stop breathing and I'm good to go again.

The Backwards Man

Over an ex?

I still haven't gotten over puberty.

CarMe

Ah no, I think if a relationship has been dwindling for ages it's much less.
I think when you realise you've both grown into totally different people then there's nothing left to get over.
It's weird when you see or hear something they'd appreciate though and you remember you're not on those kind of terms to share, and then you remember you don't like them anyway

kiffer

green_screen wrote: »

About three months, or a little less. We were together for a couple of years.

The other 2 year relationships took me 2 weeks and one month to get over.

So... six weeks, or a month and a half? That's not too bad...

I think sometimes people recover from the break up faster simply because the relationship really ended much earlier than the official break up. Also if you are the dumper rather than the dunpee

Penny Tration

kiffer wrote: »

So... six weeks, or a month and a half? That's not too bad...

I think sometimes people recover from the break up faster simply because the relationship really ended much earlier than the official break up. Also if you are the dumper rather than the dunpee

No. Two weeks for one, a month for another.

nbar12

coming up to 2 years...I have lost all confidence and self belief that I can get myself another girlfriend as she was the one...

I am such a bellend

IvaBigWun

nbar12 wrote: »

coming up to 2 years...I have lost all confidence and self belief that I can get myself another girlfriend as she was the one...

I am such a bellend

You will need that confidence back to get another girl. That is key

tomboylady

I'm going to say a few years.

IvaBigWun

beertons wrote: »

As soon as the next ones nickers were down.

Classy!

superelliptic

about 9 months or so for a 2 year relationship. The way I thought about it was that its kind of like experiencing a small death. The relationship you had (intimacy but also the friendship) is gone, and that's what you mourn the loss of. What I found was that the first couple of dates I'd go on afterwards would be (unconsciously) sabotaged because I'd still not really over the ex, but after that I'd be grand.

I don't think I'll ever be fully over my first ex. Relationship was only six months but we were pretty seriously infatuated with each other. We texted each other every day and blurted out "I love you"s at every opportunity. The circumstances of the break-up sucked so I still feel bitter about it. I did start dating again about two months later, which started another relationship that actually lasted a few months longer but I got over that one a lot quicker when it ended (didn't even bother trying to stay friends and deleted him on Facebook the same night! ) That first break-up though was definitely one of the lowest points of my life. I still think about it, and him, much more often than I should.

Duggy747

When I was in secondary school, myself and the girl I was seeing broke up over the phone.

I got over it pretty quickly considering the brother had just come home a few minutes earlier and brought home his brand new PS2 with a new game called Vice City :pac:

anncoates

About 2 years.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I suck at getting over people which is why I try not get too attached. First one took me almost 3 years to get over, next one its a year and ongoing. It sucks

IvaBigWun

Would it be fair to say that girls get over a guy much faster than the other way around?

Or do girls just put on a brave face easier?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Would it be fair to say that girls get over a guy much faster than the other way around?

Or do girls just put on a brave face easier?

I would have said the opposite tbh.

Sir Arthur Daley

It took me 2 weeks to get my leg over an ex, she played hard to get.

IvaBigWun

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I would have said the opposite tbh.

Well you're a girl and Im a guy - I think we may need a transexual alien for an unbiased view :cool:

cletus van damme

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Classy!

but pretty accurate in fairness.

never been too down about it but was never close to anybody really until i was older .
however was pretty delighted when I broke up with my now ex-wife.
that was a good feeling , it was like minus-time in getting over her.

Legs.Eleven

9 months and another about 6 months (when it was me who ended it, it was a matter of weeks). The 9 months was getting over someone I absolutely fancied the arse off but probably didn't really love (we fought all the time). It was a short, passionate (:rolleyes:) relationship that ended after 9 months and getting over him was a bit like coming down from an some bad pills for 9 months. Lost a load of weight, listened to Wilco all the time, was depressed, moved home to Dublin temporarily and booked flights to travel a continent just so I could show him I was moving on and make him jealous (I wasn't of sound mind at the time but I ended up having a great time, thank fook and was just the ticket to get over him properly). I laugh now at the state of me but it wasn't very funny at the time.

The 6 months was harder as I did love that guy.


Hope it doesn't happen again.

Muise...

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Would it be fair to say that girls get over a guy much faster than the other way around?

Or do girls just put on a brave face easier?

Ask the guy who broke my heart when I was twenty-two.
My ribs still tighten when I hear his name.
I doubt he remembers mine.

SpaceCowb0y

I think this is all relative really isn't it!?

I selected the last option in the poll but I'm basing that on my first proper girlfriend with whom I'm still quite close to. On the other hand I've had a few other serious relationships since my first and some were easier to get over then others. A few months is usually what it takes to pick yourself up and put yourself out there again, or on the chance you meet someone new that usually speeds the process up significantly although that can be the wrong thing to do as i think it's important to take time out to be happy on your own again before jumping into anything else.

With regards to my first girlfriend it's a weird situation, even though i don't think i'll ever be fully over here i don't think i'd ever want to go back there again either as there has just been too much shit in the past to want to put myself back in a situation that i would imagine would inevitably end up the same way as before! Better to just be friends of sorts.

Legs.Eleven

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Would it be fair to say that girls get over a guy much faster than the other way around?

Or do girls just put on a brave face easier?

No. Part of me still winces internally when I think of the names of both of those guys and it still hurts a bit. Perhaps we have the outlets to express that pain more than fellas (no "Man Up" stuff, for example). I've met more guys who've written women off completely than vice versa though. I think women tend to have the belief that they will meet someone else, which does make it easier. Just ime though.

Muise...

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

No. Part of me still winces internally when I think of the names of both of those guys and it still hurts a bit. Perhaps we have the outlets to express that pain more than fellas (no "Man Up" stuff, for example). I've met more guys who've written women off completely than vice versa though. I think women tend to have the belief that they will meet someone else, which does make it easier. Just ime though.

Maybe we have a better memory of pain? My heart just dropped like a stone in a well remembering waking up one morning, feeling fine for a split second, then realising, he's gone.

I'm over it, him, and the others, honest! They're like little stones in my pocket that I turn over so often they're now smooth and shiny and pleasant to the touch.

CarMe

Jeez reading these replies make me feel very heartless

Legs.Eleven

Muise... wrote: »

Maybe we have a better memory of pain? My heart just dropped like a stone in a well remembering waking up one morning, feeling fine for a split second, then realising, he's gone.

I'm over it, him, and the others, honest! They're like little stones in my pocket that I turn over so often they're now smooth and shiny and pleasant to the touch.

Yeah, I can still bring that feeling back again if I want. I remember sitting in the centre of London in a park a month or so after it ended with a few good friends and getting dizzy and having to go home because I'd forgotten it ended for a while but it hit me suddenly when the distraction ended. Ugh! Still get a sense of relief now that I can look back it doesn't hurt to that degree anymore. Nice stone analogy; that's exactly how it is.

IvaBigWun

Regarding whether women or men get over relationships faster, I think Dylan Moran summed it up best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUH34iqK7cI

Muise...

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Regarding whether women or men get over relationships faster, I think Dylan Moran summed it up best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUH34iqK7cI

You listen to Legs and me opening our wounds, and pour salt in them with a funnyman? You have no feelings, you heartless wretch!!!

kiffer

Muise... wrote: »

You listen to Legs and me opening our wounds, and pour salt in them with a funnyman? You have no feelings, you heartless wretch!!!

Turn around is fair play...
"Oh women have better memories for pain"
"Oh emotional distress is worse for women men can just shake it off and go play some games with the lads"

You know who the relationship ending situation is worse for?
The person getting dumped.
Male or female doesn't matter.
Who takes longer to recover?
*shrug*
That depends on what you mean by recover.

Maximus Alexander

Met a girl when I was 17, we were together for nearly 5 years, lived in one another's pockets, our two groups of friends turned into one big one. She went away for the summer one year and then dumped me over the phone. It took a while to get over that one.

Legs.Eleven

kiffer wrote: »

Turn around is fair play...
"Oh women have better memories for pain"
"Oh emotional distress is worse for women men can just shake it off and go play some games with the lads".

The second one was completely invented in your mind. No one said that.

IvaBigWun

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

She went away for the summer one year and then dumped me over the phone

Nasty!

Maximus Alexander

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Nasty!

Yeah I hated her for that for a long time, although I eventually came to understand things from her perspective. The day I stopped being angry about that was the day I knew I was finally over her.

The worst part was that we shared all the same friends, so there was no avoiding one another which dragged out the recovery process. It was horrible for both of us really - worse for me obviously.

SpaceCowb0y

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

The worst part was that we shared all the same friends, so there was no avoiding one another which dragged out the recovery process. It was horrible for both of us really - worse for me obviously.

This sounds oh so familiar! I was in the same position, ran away to Australia for nearly 3 years to create the space that was needed! Done the job too! Who says you can't run away from your problems

kiffer

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

The second one was completely invented in your mind. No one said that.

True.
I'm probably projecting due to numerous unresolved break up issues.

Muise...

kiffer wrote: »

Turn around is fair play...
"Oh women have better memories for pain"
"Oh emotional distress is worse for women men can just shake it off and go play some games with the lads"

You know who the relationship ending situation is worse for?
The person getting dumped.
Male or female doesn't matter.
Who takes longer to recover?
*shrug*
That depends on what you mean by recover.

OUCH, someone dropped you from a height!

I was speculating, because it's not exactly something that can be proven, and in my experience, women tend to dwell on pain for longer. I take your point about the dumpee having the worse experience.

crazygeryy

About 16 years.its ok now though I'm gay.

kiffer

Muise... wrote: »

OUCH, someone dropped you from a height!

I was speculating, because it's not exactly something that can be proven, and in my experience, women tend to dwell on pain for longer. I take your point about the dumpee having the worse experience.

In my experience men aren't really culturally allowed to express that pain so your experience is biased...
I expect that men and women dwell on pain to pretty much the same extent...
Consider the auld fella in his crying chair... you don't think he's dwelling on pain?

Muise...

kiffer wrote: »

In my experience men aren't really culturally allowed to express that pain so your experience is biased...
I expect that men and women dwell on pain to pretty much the same extent...
Consider the auld fella in his crying chair... you don't think he's dwelling on pain?

Who, the OP? I think he's grand now.

IvaBigWun

Muise... wrote: »

Who, the OP? I think he's grand now.

Funny









(Id bet a thousand euros Im younger than you!)

Muise...

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Funny









(Id bet a thousand euros Im younger than you!)

safe bet = no fun