In the midnight hour, she cried Moo Moo Moo

D-FENS

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/jelly-covered-man-had-sex-cow-3187998#ixzz2uWmLqP9D



Man covered in jelly 'had sex with cow while friend recorded it'

A man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a cow while another man filmed it.
The traumatised cow ran off and was hit by three cars - leaving it dead in the middle of the road.
The three cars were also left badly damaged.
Or, as the matter-of-fact WTNH-TV News 8 reporter Bob Wilson succinctly says: "You can't make a story like this up. Two men are in jail, one cow is dead and three cars are totalled."
Wilson and his Connecticut-based TV crew actually arrived DURING the incident, reporting that one of the men "took off" when he spotted the journalists.
They recorded the whole seedy incident, but thankfully we've been spared that pleasure because, as Wilson again puts it: "The man was naked and covered in jello"
After the incident at 4am in the morning, the cow ran into the middle of Highway 1039 where it collided with three cars. Two of the drivers were taken to hospital.
New York State Police have arrested Reid Fontaine, 31, and Michael Jones, 33, for 'sexual misconduct' with the cow on a farm in Hermiker, New York.
Fontaine - a school IT system employee - has since resigned following his arrest, according to Superintendent Kathleen C Greider.
Police said the incident was discovered by a farmer who set up a video camera in his barn in an effort to determine why his cows were acting anxious and not producing milk as usual, police said.
The farmer called police after seeing the video of the alleged sexual assault of the cow.
Police have looked into whether any similar reports have been filed but have so far found nothing.

SEPT 23 1989

If you are going to fcuk your life up do it in style

Duggy747

Mr. Hands would've been proud.

Donkey Oaty

It's the media's fault for making cows seem so damn sexy.

BillyMitchel

Cow was traumatised? He must be hung like a donkey.

Mr E

Sounds like it would make a great moovie (eh... not really - I just wanted to use that pun).

Clandestine

Well thats, er, f***ed up. No other way I can describe it

I am pie

I don't know if I want to ask,...but wtf was the jelly/jello for?

Oh, and..it's udderly disgraceful.

fineso.mom

I feel sorry for the man's family, they must be moo..rtified!!

stimpson

D-FENS wrote: »

Police said the incident was discovered by a farmer who set up a video camera in his barn in an effort to determine why his cows were acting anxious and not producing milk as usual

I would have thought that the cow being dead would have given him a clue.

The Diabolical Monocle

Would a cow even know it was being molested ??

Nemeses

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Would a cow even know it was being molested ??

It has feelings don't you know?

cml387

I note that one of them worked in I.T.

Look, I'm only pointing it out.

jester77

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Would a cow even know it was being moolested ??

Fixed it for you!

BluesBerry

That's offal

cml387

What must the guys coworkers thought? I'd certainly have a major beef about it.But it is quite amoosing.

Poor cow

yeahimhere

Between this and the 14 year old boy that raped his mother in the UK, it's been a strange old week.

paulbok

Studies in this field have shown that over calf of all offenders done it to keep warm as they were friesian at the time.
















Hay, I didn't start this.

Potatoeman

cml387 wrote: »

What must the guys coworkers thought? I'd certainly have a major beef about it.But it is quite amoosing.

I read that as cow workers....

Baze

In fairness, it's not easi being single.

MadsL

And the moral Bart has been telling all these years...don't have a cow, man.

cml387

Potatoeman wrote: »

I read that as cow workers....

oh you see what I did there

burnhardlanger

D-FENS wrote: »

Fontaine - a school IT system employee - has since resigned following his arrest.

Bovine University.

Femme_Fatale

I'd like to read what The King Of Moo has to say about this.

darkpagandeath

Good old anthropomorphism... Next vets will be done for molestation as well....

ArtyM

God I hope this isn't the next Facebook fad!
Planking and neknomination doesn't seem so bad in comparison.

Paramite Pie

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Would a cow even know it was being molested ??

Well the farmer said his cows weren't producing milk which is a sign of distress. He set up a camera because their behaviour was odd. Animals are well aware of their bodies.

Trauma isn't unique to humans.

Dyr

He was covered in jelly?

Sick bastard

Kimbot

Its an udder disgrace Joe!!!!!

gg2

I really do feel so sorry for the poor cow.... Sick friggers

D-FENS

Bambi wrote: »

He was covered in jelly?

Sick bastard

A unique way of preparing jelly and ice cream

Ste-

Can we stop milking the puns please ?

pickarooney

Paramite Pie wrote: »

Well the farmer said his cows weren't producing milk which is a sign of distress. He set up a camera because their behaviour was odd. Animals are well aware of their bodies.

Trauma isn't unique to humans.

Yeah... that's why he put a camera in there. Has anyone found the streaming website yet?

Nopeare

A bit cowardly doing that to a defenseless animal

Doctor Strange

This is udderly awful

paulbok

Gives a whole new perspective to
'Old McDonald HAD a farm'

shannonman81

Video!!! or GTFO

Femme_Fatale

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Good old anthropomorphism

Huh? He had sex with a cow - where does anthropomorphism come into it? Do you know what it actually means?

Next vets will be done for molestation as well....

No they won't.

yeahimhere

Ste- wrote: »

Can we stop milking the puns please ?

Yeah, they're really churning them out.

diograis

i laughed too hard at these puns

darkpagandeath

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Huh? He had sex with a cow - where does anthropomorphism come into it? Do you know what it actually means?

No they won't.

Yes I do cows are not humans they do not have human feelings so saying the cow was terrified is nonsense a “fear response maybe”. When a vet does an exam on a pregnant cow is it terrified ? No

BillyMitchel

darkpagandeath wrote: »

Yes I do cows are not humans they do not have human feelings so saying the cow was terrified is nonsense a “fear response maybe”. When a vet does an exam on a pregnant cow is it terrified ? No

Are you telling us the cow enjoyed it?

Seriously though, how would one have sex with a cow. Is he 8ft tall or was he on a step ladder or what the craic?

darkpagandeath

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Are you telling us the cow enjoyed it?

Seriously though, how would one have sex with a cow. Is he 8ft tall or was he on a step ladder or what the craic?

No. I'm telling people to stop Anthropomorphizing Animals.

Hazys

Its a hoax

Femme_Fatale

darkpagandeath wrote: »

When a vet does an exam on a pregnant cow is it terrified ? No

Um... "No"? How do you know? I'd assume animals are afraid when they go to the vet's. I brought a cat to the vet once and she ran off and was missing for days.

darkpagandeath wrote: »

No. I'm telling people to stop Anthropomorphizing Animals.

If you're that anxious to use the term, at least use it correctly. The cow ran off so was obviously uncomfortable (to say the least) with a human having sex with it. It is not anthromorphising it to acknowledge that.

zanador

Why jelly??

darkpagandeath

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Um... "No"? How do you know? I'd assume animals are afraid when they go to the vet's. I brought a cat to the vet once and she ran off and was missing for days.

If you're that anxious to use the term, at least use it correctly. The cow ran off so was obviously uncomfortable (to say the least) with a human having sex with it. It is not anthromorphising it to acknowledge that.

Or it ran off as those people were chasing it ? Herbivores naturally run when chased by predators. I don't think you get it you are using a Human Language to describe something that happened to an Animal. Now if you ask the cow in cow and got a response of “I was terrified” then I would accept it. Just sounds to me that an An Animal ran away from a predator and died.

Femme_Fatale

To say an animal can feel fear and pain is not anthromorphising it. People anthromorphise by putting clothes on their pets and sh1t like that, which is stupid. But an animal is still sentient. You're the one who seemed to not "get it" when you said "vets will be done for molestation" - quite a leap from people expressing the view that a human shouldn't have sex with an animal. A vet examination is necessary though, and for the animal's benefit.

You're also just guessing that it ran from a predator; not actually offering anything concrete.

darkpagandeath

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

To say an animal can feel fear and pain is not anthromorphising it. People anthromorphise by putting clothes on their pets and sh1t like that, which is stupid. But an animal is still sentient. You're the one who seemed to not "get it" when you said "vets will be done for molestation" - quite a leap from people expressing the view that a human shouldn't have sex with an animal. A vet examination is necessary though, and for the animal's benefit.

You're also just guessing that it ran from a predator; not actually offering anything concrete.

People should not have sex with Animals. But trying to say it was traumatized and so on is just ridiculous. Do you think in Nature animals ask each other out go to dinner wine dine then breed ?

Just like saying it ran off traumatized , A human word for a human emotion. News report says one of the men ran off that probably triggered the fear response of the cow to run also. And a film crew shouting or what ever would not help the cow either would it ...

So on the one hand we have guy running off, On the other we have a film crew pulling up with i assume lights cameras loud noises. To say the cow ran off traumatized is Nonsense Multiple unknown humans turning up causing a commotion = Fear response to flee.

Frank Lee Midere

darkpagandeath wrote: »

People should not have sex with Animals. But trying to say it was traumatised and so on is just ridiculous. Do you think in Nature animals ask each other out go to dinner wine dine then breed ?

Just like saying it ran off traumatised being a human word for a human emotion, News report says one of the men ran off that probably triggered the fear response of the cow to run also.

Animals can be traumatised, but really wtf are you even even arguing about.

Probably the cow ran off because of the bestiality, but maybe not. Maybe it was spooked by the moon. The cow running away isn't the big story here.