At what age do you consider people to be 'adults'?

DeadlyTwig

I know the legal definition is 18 but with changes in society such as everyone going to college and being financially dependent on their parents for longer....what do you consider the stepping stone to being an adult....moving out? First pay check?

McDermotX

What did you get up to last night ?

The Backwards Man

When I was 18 I was an adult who knew it all. Now I'm twice as old and know half as much.

Tombo2001

I'd be honest here and say not until maybe 24 or 25.

I think physically obviously you are fairly mature at 15 or 16 or 17 ......

And obviously you can have a fairly well developed intellect by the time you are 20.

But emotionally & mentally, I think there is a transition associated with being parented to being fully self sufficient and I believe a lot of people struggle with that period in their life and arent fully comfortable with it until their mid to late 20s.

Dravokivich

When they are old enough to be in adult movies.

darrencan1

Becoming an adult is not due to age or sex or pay its basically down to when the person becomes responsible enough to live in there own two shoes as is

Mature
Responsible
Level Headed
Taking Responsibility for the actions they carry out
Been Big Enough to Accept Punishment
And for when they realize that its not the parents to look out for them but they look out for the parents

DeadlyTwig

Was sitting around with a few friends, we're all mid twenties and about to finish college but are still financially depend on parents, apart from the odd part time job and this topic came up. One or two of the lads reckoned we were all still kids because we still rely on our folks.
But we live out of home, have loans etc and our in general responsible for ourselves!

MadYaker

darrencan1 wrote: »

Becoming an adult is not due to age or sex or pay its basically down to when the person becomes responsible enough to live in there own two shoes as is

Mature
Responsible
Level Headed
Taking Responsibility for the actions they carry out
Been Big Enough to Accept Punishment
And for when they realize that its not the parents to look out for them but they look out for the parents

Going by that definition large swathes of the public never reach adulthood.

FollatonWood

Very much depends on the person and their upbringing. I'd have considered myself an adult from about the age of 16 as I was self sufficient, caring for my siblings and emotionally mature. However my younger sister is 19 and I'd still consider her a child as she would be fairly dependent on me.

darrencan1

That is true I still have not reached that as I live at home I do this because i want to travel but a friend of mine who is the same age has his new car and his house full time job and he does not need anything from his parents but he still regards himself as a child

Ihatecuddles

My OH came home from Lidl last week and said he felt like a proper adult for the first time ever. Something about buying a big man steak and beer.

He's 31

darrencan1

mauzo! wrote: »

My OH came home from Lidl last week and said he felt like a proper adult for the first time ever. Something about buying a big man steak and beer.

He's 31

Everyone has that one thing to do when they complete this action they feel better and call it been a man or woman that is just life's goals

The older you get, the older "young fellas and young ones" get!

darrencan1

Deleted User wrote: »

The older you get, the older "young fellas and young ones" get!

I used to babysit a boy when is was 15 now I am 26 and the little fella comes in to the pub and can drink its weird how you still see the child in them

Legs.Eleven

Good question. I know people here who've lived at home with their parents their whole lives (one of my students, who has a good position, told me yesterday she lives with her mother and she's approaching 40, I'd say) but are mature and although not totally financially independent, couldn't be called anything but adults.

I think maturity, as opposed to financial independence (this doesn't happen in many countries around the world until much later in their lives), is a big factor although maturity is subjective. People might think I'm childish for putting a lamp shade on my head pretending I've a lampshade for a headwhen I'm drunk, for example, but I'd be fairly level-headed, responsible and reasonable (outside of Boards ) in my day-to-day life.

Although I've met 18-year-olds who fit this requisite as well.


I think I actually hit adulthood when I was about 26/27 tbh although I've been (almost) financially independent since turning 23. Something just "clicked" internally and I copped on properly, I suppose and realised I am my own person and in control for the most part and stuff that concerned me in my early twenties seemed petty then.

DeadlyTwig

I think the financial side sticks out to me. Once people start earning their own money, they kind of have to grow up and cop on a bit. Although I am always very careful with money whether its mine or my parents!

Maybe I'm just an old head on young shoulders!

Riddle101

21 for me. I find people get mature by the time they turn 21, probably because they've got a bit of life experience under their belt.

Tombo2001

Most people in Ireland drink.

Most people start drinking in their late teens.

I think many many people go through a phase when they are in late teens, early twenties where their lives revolve around their nights out. Friday night out til 4am, Saturday night out again.....Sunday hangover. Monday back to work.

They go a bit mad with the excitement over having a bit of money and being able to do what they want, when they want.....and its party on.

A sign of maturity/ full adulthood is when you come to the end of that.

Most people I know reach their late twenties and realise, "I have to get a life here", and back off the booze and start looking for other interests. Thats when you are an adult, and not a half adult, half kid in a sweet shop.

Thats why running clubs are so full of people who start when they are 30. Thats when people are taking control of their lives and not just living for the moment.

Legs.Eleven

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Most people in Ireland drink.

Most people start drinking in their late teens.

I think many many people go through a phase when they are in late teens, early twenties where their lives revolve around their nights out. Friday night out til 4am, Saturday night out again.....Sunday hangover. Monday back to work.

They go a bit mad with the excitement over having a bit of money and being able to do what they want, when they want.....and its party on.

A sign of maturity/ full adulthood is when you come to the end of that.

Most people I know reach their late twenties and realise, "I have to get a life here", and back off the booze and start looking for other interests. Thats when you are an adult, and not a half adult, half kid in a sweet shop.

Thats why running clubs are so full of people who start when they are 30. Thats when people are taking control of their lives and not just living for the moment.

Or they realise they're not immortal and cop on a bit. I think you really believe you're immune to all diseases and illnesses right up to your mid-20s.

darrencan1

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Most people in Ireland drink.

Most people start drinking in their late teens.

I think many many people go through a phase when they are in late teens, early twenties where their lives revolve around their nights out. Friday night out til 4am, Saturday night out again.....Sunday hangover. Monday back to work.

They go a bit mad with the excitement over having a bit of money and being able to do what they want, when they want.....and its party on.

A sign of maturity/ full adulthood is when you come to the end of that.

Most people I know reach their late twenties and realise, "I have to get a life here", and back off the booze and start looking for other interests. Thats when you are an adult, and not a half adult, half kid in a sweet shop.

Thats why running clubs are so full of people who start when they are 30. Thats when people are taking control of their lives and not just living for the moment.

I'm Irish I didn't drink like that the biggest problem in Ireland is that fact that the parents encourage drinking and Irish people go out get drunk sleep with random people and that's why they do it every weekend

Tiddlypeeps

I'd go with 18. Doesn't make much sense to use anything other than the legal definition of adult. If you base it on maturity or financial independence then you'll find people in their 40's or older that are not really adults and it would be just silly to say somebody that old is not an adult.

Sleepy

Once they're standing on their own two feet (i.e. living independent lives that they pay for themselves).

Sadly, that rules out an awful lot of those who are old enough to be considered adults yet still let Mammy and Daddy do everything for them. I know boys in their 30's who still have their underpants ironed for them by their mammies and girls of the same age that still treat Daddy like an ATM. And on the other hand I know 17 year olds who've been working/studying and putting a roof over their own heads for a couple of years.

elefant

Surprised at how many people here are saying that financial independence often comes very late. I've been living abroad since my very early twenties, and just about everyone I know here around my age is financially independent, be they Irish or otherwise.

Would most people in their mid-20s not be able to live without their parents financing them?

I moved out of home when I was 17. Into an apartment with bills etc. no student digs or house shares unfortunately. I've been an adult since then as far as I'm concerned. Depends on the person I guess.

dodzy

mauzo! wrote: »

My OH came home from Lidl last week and said he felt like a proper adult for the first time ever. Something about buying a big man steak and beer.

He's 31

Nah, it's when you buy his steak and beer

Tiddlypeeps

elefant wrote: »

Surprised at how many people here are saying that financial independence often comes very late. I've been living abroad since my very early twenties, and just about everyone I know here around my age is financially independent, be they Irish or otherwise.

Would most people in their mid-20s not be able to live without their parents financing them?

I don't know about most but the recession has effected a lot of younger people. A lot of people who would have normally gotten a job after college have been finding themselves back living with their parents out of necessity.

WoollyRedHat

Depends on the person

dgt

I'd go with the number of this post

Feisar

I moved out at 18, went to college and worked in bars to put myself through it. Wasn't dependent on my parents since then. But at 29 people say I'm a big child!

Legs.Eleven

elefant wrote: »

Surprised at how many people here are saying that financial independence often comes very late. I've been living abroad since my very early twenties, and just about everyone I know here around my age is financially independent, be they Irish or otherwise.

Would most people in their mid-20s not be able to live without their parents financing them?

Depends on the country, doesn't it? Something like 35% of Spaniards live at home with their parents until their mid-30s. It's something like 44% in Italy. Ireland is also quite high with something like 24% (not making these stats up; trying to find the link I read last week; remembered a few of them approx). Poorer countries would generally have the children living at home later in their lives. Makes sense.

Tir

To be realistic, people are adults at about age 17 to 19. It's just that the world refuses to treat them as such which leads them to be 'immature'. Nothing much is expected of them, so they then feel free to doss, drink copious volumes of alcohol, waste free time, and to make stupid decisions.

Whereas in other societies they have agreed upon social norms, today in the West it's a free for all, with many inter-competing values all vying for attention. People don't know which way to turn in this environment, and receive precious little practical advice. It's normal for young people to simply join a sub-culture to find belonging and miss great opportunities as a result.

Of course there's other more systemic problems.

Housing and rent are still hugely overvalued. How's someone meant to behave adult like when they are stuck in a room in their parents house, unable to move out? Life never begins.

Cost of living is in much of West very high. This stifles personal independence and discourages initiative. Thus people remain attached to the family unit or remain stuck in a rut for longer than needs be.

There are a lot of other ones too, but it's these social and economic reasons that hold people back. If we expect a person to behave like a child, treat them like a child.. they will be a child.

RDM_83 again

I think physically you become an adult at around 24 when the last bones fuse. I don,t even feel like an adult 6 years later though :-(

Adamantium

I would argue some children who've being through hell and come out the other side with an unbreakable tenacity to actually live truly, are already adults.

It's all about self awareness

There was a thread on intelligence here a while ago, where posters rated themselves from 1 -10. One poster rated himself as a 10, and I remembered from before that he was 18. That sums up everything about being 18 to me, your perception of yourself isn't developed enough to take in all the realities. I think you're an adult when you're self aware enough to take in the reality of what and who you are your shortcomings as well as your good bits.

I was 27 a while ago and I still think of myself as fairly clueless. When that stops I'll be truly adult.