The drunkest texts you've drunkenly texted or been texted

Overheal

From a friend I dropped off at his place with his girlfirend after they both killed a sizable amount of liquor,

"I just had no ****ing drunk. Exalt I wad to sex"
"Bit in still love you job and all y'all."
"Y'all are aweso e"

Still not sure what happened after I dropped him off. Frankly, neither are they.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

Sir Arthur Daley

Texting the ex has to be the worst offence by me.

Frosty McSnowballs

Fglbhygsllbfif46fgllgt5 penis

we'llallhavetea

i used my friends phone to send a text to the lad i was seeing at the time, asked him over for a joint and a ride.

sent it to her dad

smurgen

Got a text saying I'm in a ditch off my cousin at five in the morning before,no explanation or anything.sent a txt to a girl in work,dunno how I had her number as I don't talk to her at like 3 one night saying will you maul Chinese Kenneth? I don't even know someone called Chinese Kenneth.

The Backwards Man

Stick your job up your hole.

Received that one night.

_Whimsical_

4am from a someone I hadn't seen in a few years.

"Hi!!!I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. I'm pissing in a bush across the road from your house"

"I meant that in a nice way. It sounded bad but I meant it in a nice way... but it sounded bad"

"when I say I mean it in a nice way I don't mean anything bad. Nothing strange.Not in a NICCCCCCCEEEEE way like. That would be strange"

"sometimes I think about you"

There was more but I can't remember it now. All went unanswered in the middle of the night though

eeeee

aya startin wha wrote: »

i used my friends phone to send a text to the lad i was seeing at the time, asked him over for a joint and a ride.

sent it to her dad

Genius. Pure, unadulterated genius. :pac:

shopaholic01

aya startin wha wrote: »

i used my friends phone to send a text to the lad i was seeing at the time, asked him over for a joint and a ride.

sent it to her dad

Did he turn up?

we'llallhavetea

gadetra wrote: »

Genius. Pure, unadulterated genius. :pac:

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Did he turn up?

he wasn't up for it oddly!

Cupcake_Crisis

Was trying to send some "sexy" pics while very drunk (cos that's always a good idea). Accidentally sent a picture of my boobs to my mam. She didn't appreciate it.

anncoates

Noting major. Think I sent a dirty text to a male friend before that was intended for my (now) wife.

Thankfully he didn't reply in the affirmative.

shrewd

From an ex:
"I want you so bad right now"

..10 mins later

"I'm coming over, like it or not"

calling or texting back yield no reply.F**king bitch made me stayed up all night :mad:

MooShop

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Stick your job up your hole.

Received that one night.

Did you?

The Backwards Man

MooShop wrote: »

Did you?

Yes, yes I did

I am a professional unicyclist.

Sir Arthur Daley

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Yes, yes I did

I am a professional unicyclist.

Ah cycling backwards, often did it after a night on the sauce.

Lou.m

My brother once texted something along the lines of ( i exaggerate)


y(x)=x\frac{dy}{dx}+f\left(\frac{dy}{dx}\right).

To solve such an equation, we differentiate with respect to x, yielding

\frac{dy}{dx}=\frac{dy}{dx}+x\frac{d^2 y}{dx^2}+f'\left(\frac{dy}{dx}\right)\frac{d^2 y}{dx^2},

so

0=\left(x+f'\left(\frac{dy}{dx}\right)\right)\frac{d^2 y}{dx^2}.

Hence, either

0=\frac{d^2 y}{dx^2}

or

0=x+f'\left(\frac{dy}{dx}\right).
LOVE YOUxxx

He is an engineer! I thought it was ****ing impressive!


Another was just this.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee






One from me was...
Please say a prayer the spider that I think I might have killed by accident.
I sent this to everyone on my phone once. I was not drunk but I am quite mad.

My phone once accidentally called someone and left a message not knowing where I was talking to a tree.

I have received many texts in Czech and Romanian. My cousin once sent a text in a mix of Drunken Czech and Dutch.

Crann na Beatha

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Sir Arthur Daley

Ride me sideways was another one.

jamesbere

Phoenix wrote: »

я потерял мои брюки

Thats what she said

rainbowdrop

Not a text, but a drunken phone call to my ex who now lives in Australia cost me €86.....

Woke up the next morning with a vague recollection of speaking to her for 'a few minutes'. Checked the call log and we were actually talking for over 2hours. Ooopsie!

Legs.Eleven

A few drunken voice messages in the past to people I shouldn't have been proclaiming my love for. Cringe-arama.

Butterface

I drunk texted my sister at Xmas asking her to ring a taxi for me - had included no details as to where I was. She ignored it anyway!

Capt'n Midnight

Lou.m wrote: »

My brother once texted something along the lines of ( i exaggerate)


[latex]y(x)=x\frac{dy}{dx}+f\left(\frac{dy}{dx}\right).[/latex]

To solve such an equation, we differentiate with respect to x, yielding

[latex]\frac{dy}{dx}=\frac{dy}{dx}+x\frac{d^2 y}{dx^2}+f'\left(\frac{dy}{dx}\right)\frac{d^2 y}{dx^2}, [/latex]

so

[latex]0=\left(x+f'\left(\frac{dy}{dx}\right)\right)\frac{d^2 y}{dx^2} [/latex]fyp

Hence, either

[latex]0=\frac{d^2 y}{dx^2} [/latex]

or

[latex] 0=x+f'\left(\frac{dy}{dx}\right). [/latex]
LOVE YOUxxx

He is an engineer! I thought it was ****ing impressive!.

.

MonstaMash

Phoenix wrote: »

я потерял мои брюки

Считаете ли вы их снова?

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Twitter

smurgen wrote: »

Got a text saying I'm in a ditch off my cousin at five in the morning before,no explanation or anything.sent a txt to a girl in work,dunno how I had her number as I don't talk to her at like 3 one night saying will you maul Chinese Kenneth? I don't even know someone called Chinese Kenneth

Bet he meant he was in a dyke

Phoenix

Phoenix wrote: »

я потерял мои брюки

Check your pockets?