So very, very homesick..

jacksie66

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beano345

I got like that in oz op usually when things weren't going so well,plus the distance it is from home makes it worse.what if you got work in your field would it make a difference? If not I'd be seriously thinking of coming back I wouldn't worry about losing face 4 months is a good enough stint from home and at least you can say you did it.

Tokyo

OP, my answer is a pretty simple one, to be honest - if it's more than a passing longing for the familiar, and you genuinely aren't happy where you are, then change it! You've been there four months, long enough to give it a chance and decide for yourself whether you like it or not, so if you feel that you would be happier back in Ireland, there's no shame in making plans to return. You can also look into various technology courses before you return, so that (a) you have something to look forward to while you are still in NZ, and (b) you won't be sitting on your hands should you decide to come back.

Some people are happy to stay gone for years at a time, others not so much. I have a friend that went to Australia as a chef, and was on a plane back home in less than 24 hours. At least you can say that you made the effort of finding out for yourself where you feel makes you happy.

Sarah Bear

Life is too short to be unhappy.
Go home!

jacksie66

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Merkin

The nature of living abroad is that you're going to get homesick from time to time. I know it's hard if you're going through a phase of it (and it is cyclical by nature) but consider why you'd to leave Ireland in the first place, will those reasons have changed if you were to fly home?

Give it a bit longer, throw yourself into socialising and enjoying the sun while you're there and then reassess. You've gone all that way and I don't think four months is enough time to give a new environment a proper chance.

Give it a few more months and if you find it intolerable start job searching in advance of your return home and have conduced some Skype interviews etc before making the move.

You'll be fine, keep the chin up!

Merkin

jacksie66 wrote: »

I was talking to all my mates a while ago on Viber. They were all drinking beers, listening to music and playing the ps3. It's simple things like that that make me miss home even more..

And I bet they'd give their eye teeth to be off enjoying a NZ adventure!

jacksie66

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bohsboy

Go home. I wouldn't care less what people think. It's too far away to feel like that.

jacksie66

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cloudatlas

If you're sure you've done everything you can to settle. Joined clubs, expat meet up groups etc.. then the next thing I'd advise is that you give yourself a deadline to make a decision. Sometimes the relief of an end in sight can calm the mind and you can make better decisions. Don't feel ashamed, talk to your family friends about it.

beks101

Ah you poor pet. I know how hard it can be.

I'd say give yourself a set window of time to "give things a go" over there - say 6 months - and once that time has lapsed, reevaluate how you're feeling and if you've adapted a bit more.

Moving overseas can be an overwhelming experience, but try not to let your emotions overpower you too much. Remember that you left for a reason.

I'd imagine there's a sizable Irish community over in NZ, could you reach out and get involved with the expat crowd over there? I always found my Irish friends were a sort of balancing base for me when I was feeling like a fish out of water.

It's also important when you're living in a foreign country to try to make an effort to assimilate as much as possible, so you feel less of an outsider. What are your workmates like, would you feel comfortable socializing with them? Any hobbies or sports that you could expand on, join a team or club?

The bottom line is that it always takes a while to settle somewhere new - when I moved to Toronto it took me about a year to get comfortable and stop feeling like it was the end of the world.

Saying that, NZ is a pretty long trek and maybe it's not for you after all.

But I think to save yourself from the regret of returning prematurely and feeling like it's a mistake down the line, you really should give it the best shot you can, ramp up the social life, go to everything, befriend befriend befriend and take in as many sights and adventures as possible, before throwing in the towel.

Best of luck! You'll be grand either way x

LegacyUser

There's nothing wrong with wanting to go home. I'm so glad I was in the right place at the right time and never had to emigrate. I can't even take longer holidays abroad without starting to count the days til I can go home again. As a result I now take shorter holidays and that works out well for me. People who love travelling and living abroad won't have a clue what I'm talking about. Don't mind them - not everyone's cut out for travelling or living abroad.

Nobody back home is really going to give two hoots where you're living. Are you seriously saying that you'd stay out in New Zealand and continue to feel homesick because you're afraid of what your auntie or your next door neighbour might think? People try things all the time. Sometimes they work out and sometimes they don't. You've only got one life. Don't let other people's opinions sway you. If you'd be happier coming back here and going to college, then do it.

jacksie66

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iusedtoknow

I still get homesick periodically, it's horrible but it passes - i left Ireland in 2007. I moved to Barcelona, and had waves of it for around a year, even though I had a GF and a few friends. It really depends how much you as a person can cope with. No one will judge you for moving back home. Home is where you're happy, and so you should be home. Your family and mates will be happy to see you, and things always have a way of working out.

As for your other comments, retrain! Take the opportunity of being home to restock and see what you really want. If you want IT...pursue it. The BIS courses at the NUI's are second to none.

Please look at this as an opportunity for growth, and not a step back. It isn't. You're finding out who you are, and that is always a great thing.

Wellyd

OP I only moved 65 miles from home and felt homesick everyday for months! I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to be as far away as New Zealand. All I can say is that if you're this unhappy 4 months in then maybe you need to reconsider where in the world you should be. Some people aren't made for being on the other side of the earth. Give yourself another few weeks and then if at the end if that you're still not happy, come home. Feck what you think everyone will think about you. They're probably only jealous that they never got the chance to leave their hometown so that they might get homesick in the first place! You're the only person that knows where you should be.

Stavro Mueller

jacksie66 wrote: »

Also, I'm in the construction game. A plumber to be exact. I never wanted to do it, was sort of forced into it. I was talked into coming over here when what I really wanted to do was to go to college and get a qualification in something I want to do, preferably in IT or mobile phone industry. It's what I've had an interest in all my life, not plumbing. I'm 27 now and feel that if I don't go home now and do something I really want to do, I'll be stuck doing something that I really don't want to do for the rest of my life.. Hope that makes sense to y'all...

If this is the case, then it's time to take control of your own life and do what you want to do. Don't let other people force you into doing things you don't feel are right for you. Judging by your age, I can see exactly why you ended up as a plumber. That was the time of the madness era when I had well-meaning relatives in my ear, advising me that I'd better get onto the property ladder before it was too late. Boy am I glad I ignored their advice - I don't hear a peep out of them on this matter nowadays either

You're still young enough to go back to college, get the qualifications you need and start again. People change careers all the time and indeed, it can take a while for people to figure out what it is they want to do. If you have doubts now about what you're doing, imagine how you'll feel in 10 years time, 20 years time? If it doesn't work out you can always go back to being a plumber again.

R.D. aka MR.D

Some people aren't meant for travel.
I live abroad and very rarely miss Ireland and when i do i think about the reasons i left.

I don't know how it is in Ireland now but when i was in college there was this idea that if you didn't get out there and travel then there was something wrong with you. Some people just don't enjoy it and that's okay.

jacksie66

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Legs.Eleven

Hi OP. I know quite a few people who went to Oz/NZ and were home with a month and even a few days! The fact is, some people are homebirds. They like home. There's so much talk of, "You'd be a fool not to leave Ireland now" when in fact, emigration naturally isn't for everyone. Many people like living in Ireland, have a good social life and have opportunities (going back to college sounds like a good plan). There's no shame at all in it and 4 months is a a respectable amount of time to jump ship. You don't need to explain your choices to anyone but your idea about college seems like a good way of shutting the busy-bodies up. I've never felt extreme homesickness since being away (out of the country pretty much for the last 10 years) but I've had bouts of it and know the feeling.

If you miss home and you're not happy there, go home. You could always give it one more go as Merkin suggested but if you feel like it's flogging a dead horse, follow your heart and do what makes you happy. I certainly wouldn't judge you for doing that. Staying there unhappy doesn't make any sense.

Stavro Mueller

It'd also be worth asking yourself how on earth you ended up as a plumber in New Zealand when you started out wanting to go to college. I'm assuming its your family who pushed you into getting a trade rather than an education. It may be that they'll try to talk you out of coming home and going to college because they may see the word in a different way to how you see it.

Kidchameleon

Your putting a job in construction* ahead of your college work? Its a no brainier, come home and start your studies.

*no offense to those in construction, the OP states that he/she wants to work in the technology field.

jacksie66

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Tokyo

jacksie66 wrote: »

...doing a trade was sort pushed on me as the rest of my family are tradesmen.....

.....My brother is here in NZ for years and he pushed me to come over here.....

Sounds like you need to man up and start living your own life, rather than letting everybody else steer your course. I understand that it's all very easy to want to please family, and keep the peace, but from this thread alone it's easy to see that you already have goals in life that you have pretty much set aside in order to make everyone else happy.

At the end of the day, you have to live your life for you, nobody else, and if you have an interest in the field of technology and it hasn't waned, I'd suggest looking into it ASAP. You're 27, it's far from being too late to study something different. And unlike most other college graduates, you always have a trade to fall back on should times get tough.

Good luck.

Stavro Mueller

jacksie66 wrote: »

I came out of school in the boom times so doing a trade was sort pushed on me as the rest of my family are tradesmen. I always had an interest I'm tech and mobile phones, even repairing old Nokias after school. I never enjoyed plumbing but the money was good up until the crash. My brother is here in NZ for years and he pushed me to come over here. He's here years and is pretty much sorted with his gf, house and job. I don't see him a huge amount as we're both working so much. I'd rather get impartial advice from you guys as you're neutral and I know exactly what he'd say if I told him I was thinking of going home...

I was expecting to read something like this if you replied. Different families have different values. If I was in your shoes, I'd start researching college courses in Ireland and find out how to get into them as a mature student. Your heart's not in what you're doing and you'd have better prospects if you got an education behind you.

The building boom has an awful lot to answer for. I'm sure there are lots of young men out there who now bitterly regret having left school early for the quick money that was floating around. Now the jobs have dried up or are abroad and they're stuck. Don't be one of them if you don't want to be. If you've got the enthusiasm and the ability to do something different with your life, do it. Don't be going around in 10 years time wondering "What if?"

lukesmom

OP I know how you feel! I moved to Spain and was home within 2 weeks! I see lots of friends are in Australia, Canada, New Zealand and the states. It doesn't appeal to me one bit. I'm a homebird too. I'd advise you to follow your heart and book your flight back to this great little country of ours (I don't care what anybody says, it is great), the people, the land I'll never leave it. Come home and apply for your IT course as a mature student. Follow your dreams. They obviously aren't in New Zealand.

cactusgal

Hi op, not a whole lot to add, but just wanted to say I know where you're coming from. I lived in NZ for a year and a half and I absolutely hated it. Life is short, don't waste it being unhappy and far away from hone. The money in NZ is pretty poor and opportunities are few. And living expenses are unreal. It's really not that great!!

Thomas D

jacksie66 wrote: »

I was talking to all my mates a while ago on Viber. They were all drinking beers, listening to music and playing the ps3. It's simple things like that that make me miss home even more..

They'll probably be doing that for another few years at best. These things are transient and you have to build the life you want.

Thomas D

lukesmom wrote: »

OP I know how you feel! I moved to Spain and was home within 2 weeks! I see lots of friends are in Australia, Canada, New Zealand and the states. It doesn't appeal to me one bit. I'm a homebird too. I'd advise you to follow your heart and book your flight back to this great little country of ours (I don't care what anybody says, it is great), the people, the land I'll never leave it. Come home and apply for your IT course as a mature student. Follow your dreams. They obviously aren't in New Zealand.

How have things worked out for you since you've come back?

DoozerT6

mike_ie wrote: »

Some people are happy to stay gone for years at a time, others not so much. I have a friend that went to Australia as a chef, and was on a plane back home in less than 24 hours.

Sorry to drag the thread off-topic, but how on earth did your friend decide after 24 hours that he wanted to come home?? Was it just the sheer distance from home?

OP, not everybody is cut out to travel the world. I worked with a girl who freely admitted to being a home bird, and a few years back only spent a few months in Oz on a holiday visa before coming home, she knew herself she wouldn't even last the year on a WHV. She is now happily settled, married with kids and living very close to her family home.

I would say though, do give it your very best shot in NZ, with your very best attitude. Realistically, college will always be an option for you back here. You may not get the option to go back to NZ again. (what visa are you on?). I'm not sure what the cut-off application date is for mature students for third-level here? Perhaps you could apply, go through the process, and then reassess your feelings on NZ if you are accepted. If you decide to stay perhaps you could defer your place in college here for a year. If you do decide that you want to come home, well then at least you're coming home to something you want to do

LegacyUser

I'm probably going to get shot for this one but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents ... Some people seem to emigrate with the impression that their life is going to be the same over there, wherever they are …
Emigrating can be tough, it means that you are leaving all behind and start over … but you have to put yourself in the right frame of mind. As someone mentioned earlier in this thread, are you really sure you have been doing everything you could to build your new life in NZ rather than looking for home outside of home ? (as an example : I moved to Ireland 25 years ago. Communications were rather limited back then : no Skype/email ; phone and flights were very expensive). I made new friends and built up my new life here. I never gave myself the time to be home-sick and 25 years later, I am still here, happy .

jacksie66 wrote: »

I was talking to all my mates a while ago on Viber. They were all drinking beers, listening to music and playing the ps3. It's simple things like that that make me miss home even more..

It sounds great but … drinking, listening to music and playing the PS3 can be done anywhere but more importantly does not put bread on the table (or money in your pocket). It’s fine when you are still in school/college but once you have/want responsibilities, you have to adjust your aspirations to something a little more productive. I am sure that, at some stage (soon maybe?) you will meet your other half and want to construct something rather than lazing around on the sofa ….

jacksie66 wrote: »

Also, I'm in the construction game. A plumber to be exact. I never wanted to do it, was sort of forced into it. I was talked into coming over here when what I really wanted to do was to go to college and get a qualification in something I want to do, preferably in IT or mobile phone industry. It's what I've had an interest in all my life, not plumbing. I'm 27 now and feel that if I don't go home now and do something I really want to do, I'll be stuck doing something that I really don't want to do for the rest of my life.. Hope that makes sense to y'all...

Ok. So you don’t like what you are doing now. Great. You know what you want to do : you have a plan ...
You also have work at the moment. If you were to come back, as you know, work is rather scarce over here. Why don’t you work your ‘bum’ off for a couple of years, save up to give yourself the tools (money) to come back and go to college as a mature student with some savings in your pocket then ….

lukesmom

Thomas D wrote: »

How have things worked out for you since you've come back?

Really well, met the love of my life, had kids and have a lovely home. Far away hills are not always greener.

lmos

You know in your heart if its not meant for you. Do what makes you happy, life is too short. You have given it a try, everyone will be delighted to see you again. Go for it!

Mc Kenzie

Hi OP

I know everyones different. So youv got to listen to yourself before making any drastic decisions.

I lived in London, i know not as far as New Zealand from Ireland. I missed home alot too,,,but i came back ater a year. And i now realise that time a learned so much it was an adventure. Sure times were hard and certanly not easy at all,,,but some of the best moments iv had so far in my life came from going there and at times i regret coming back. For me it prob was the best thing but i miss it and hopefully in a few years when im ready ill go back there.

Youv got to look at the pros and cons about being their. Whats your future in Ireland or new zaeland?

Do whats best for you!

FlashD

OP, I don't think NZ is your 100% problem but your career direction is.

If you aren't happy with your career then this is going to be amplified in a country like NZ. I was in a similar situation when I lived and worked there, it is a whole different experience to that of the tourist/backpacker. It feels like an isolated piece of land at the end of the world. Personally I found it very hard to find a settled group of friends as the local youth (20-35) population have emigrated to Australia and everyone else is just passing through.

You seem to have an 'idea' for a career direction, your next step is to research > plan, finally put your plan into action which will probably be to re-educate and gain industry experience. This won't all happen overnight but a well formulated plan will give you some optimism and direction.
Research could involve types of courses, (degree, postgrad, online, conversion), location (Ireland/Abroad), entry requirements, fees/government support, time, starting/end dates, qualifications, availability of jobs, etc, etc. IT is a hugely broad industry with many different job descriptions.

Despite what another poster advised and my personal experience of career change, I wouldn't be waiting around years wasting my time plumbing for the sake of saving money. The reality is that it is going to take time (years) to re-educate and then gain experience. Short term and part time, your trade could support you, but ultimately what you are doing now is of no benefit to where you want to be.

I can't give you any short term solution, personally my short term solution at the time was to leave NZ and head for Australia. Despite hating my construction career, there was more of a buzz and long term crowd in Sydney which kept me going during the evenings and weekends. During that time I researched and planned how I was going to change my career. Today I am much closer to where I want to be rather than where I was 6 years ago in NZ

You should start looking into courses starting in Sept in Ireland ASAP, a lot of media and IT schools seem to have cropped up in the last number of years with a real government push to get people into this industry.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

jacksie66 wrote: »

How guys. I'm over here In New Zealand at the moment. Left to find work and I'm working away at the moment. I'm here nearly 4 months now and the homesickness is really killing me. All I'm thinking about is home. Not the weather or money, it's my friends and family and my old way of life. No matter how much I try I can't stop thinking about it. It's starting to get me down if I'm honest. I work in construction but my interest lies in technology. I was going to go to college but decided to give NZ a try. I feel like I'm trapped, like I have to stay to save face as I'm only here 4 months.

My advice to you is set a date to make a decision (you've made it I think) and save as much money as you can - then come home and pursue your studies. Best of luck!

jacksie66

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Stavro Mueller

Good for you! Hopefully now that you've come to a decision and there's an end date in sight, you might not feel so bad. You don't need me to warn you though that your family may be less than delighted to hear that you want to jack in the plumbing to go to college. Follow your dreams

bohsboy

cymbaline wrote: »

You don't need me to warn you though that your family may be less than delighted to hear that you want to jack in the plumbing to go to college. Follow your dreams

Its his life.

Defiler Of The Coffin

Hello OP, like other posters have said I would say your home sickness is compounded by the fact you are not living the life the way you want to live it. If a career in IT is what you want then absolutely go for it and to hell with what other people think. But in the meantime try and enjoy NZ, join a few clubs and perhaps any Irish groups that available in your area (not saying you should only mix with Irish but at it least it might give you more opportunities to get out and about). Before you know it you'll be back home in college with plenty of great memories. Best of luck!

jacksie66

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Defiler Of The Coffin

Go home OP. You gave it a shot and it isn't for you. You're responsible for your own happiness. When you get back enrol in whatever course you want and enjoy yourself

jacksie66

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Defiler Of The Coffin

jacksie66 wrote: »

Thanks. Ill probably get the whole 'you're mad to leave Christchurch with all the work here' bull**** speech from lots of people. Especially my brother. But im not staying in a place im far from happy in. If I stay longer ill get more and more depressed...

You would be mad to stay in a place and situation you are not happy in. If people can't see that then that's their problem. Think of this experience as the moment you finally took control for yourself, that's one major positive right there

ongarboy

jacksie66 wrote: »

So a mini update guys. Im actually going home ASAP. Im actually starting to feel depressed here. I hate this place and I hate my job. I just want to go home so badly. I feel like packing it all in and getting the next plane home. I have no interest in doing anything here. I just want to go home to my family and friends..

That's fair enough OP. You know yourself better than anyone else and should follow your instinct. I was going to say before I read this post about whether you'd consider waiting until the 6 month benchmark? I've heard several times that when people pursue any life change (be it new job, new address, new country etc), it roughly takes 6 months give or take before things start to stop feeling so alien. If at that point you still felt the same way, then go for it and head home.

As someone said above, it may be more your career disatisfaction rather than a different country that is unsettling you and contributing to your homesickness. It would be good to make provisional plans about what you want to pursue in Ireland even before you leave NZ.

I do wonder nowadays if it's even harder to settle elsewhere with all the Facebook, Viber, Twitter, Whatsapp updates you constantly get from your friends, families and loved ones back home. While in many respects, it does make the distance and lack of physical contact less painful, I wonder if it almost doesn't allow you to properly separate and re-establish yourself elsewhere at the same time as you're constantly seeing what those you left behind are doing and up to (and what you're missing out on)?

I remember when I first moved to California in 1996 (internet cafes weren't even around and if they were no-one I knew back then had email or internet access). Apart from a once a fortnight phonecall and the few handwritten letters (yes, remember them?:)), the only updates I got from home were visiting an International newsagents to sneak a peak at the Sunday Independent that was on sale there (the import price was too expensive for me to purchase!:)). I didn't know what was going on at home all the time so I had no choice but to make a life in my new country.

Sorry, it worked out this way OP but don't regret the 4 months either. It was all part of your life experience and learning curve. At least you'll know in the future what you don't want to do (ie long distance emigration)

jacksie66

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ManOfMystery

Good for you OP. You made the right decision.

Also, don't be sweating over whatever your brother, family or anyone else says. It's YOUR life. You're the one who'll look back on it in 60 or 70 years, and you want to be happy you made decisions for yourself through your life and not just to please everyone else. Your brother is living his own life, that doesn't mean that he can just assume all his life decisions can be emulated by you.

lukesmom

jacksie66 wrote: »

Fights booked yesterday. Off home on the 8th of april. CANNOT WAIT!!!

Oh that's brilliant well done for making that decision. And people will always have something to say so leave them at it, you are in control of our own life! Safe journey home on the 8th!

castaway_lady

Good for you. It's clearly the right decision for you and of course you'll get the "you're mad" comments, but it sounds like you have enough maturity and self awareness to make the right decision. You know you don't want to be a plumber and you know you want to be in Ireland so staying elsewhere for another 6months or few years isn't going to get you closer to your next step. And at 27 don't think for a minute that you're too old for changing direction, people are doing the same thing at all ages here and elsewhere, why wait to change any longer is a much better way of approaching it now.
Now you can turn your thoughts onto your next plan of action. Check out CAO options immediately, April 1st may be the mature student deadline, not too sure on that. But Id recommend having a search through the college websites and qualifax for courses and get that done. You do need to be in education in September to keep your momentum once you get back. Go for what you really want this time. If it's IT talk to or email people in industry to see what areas they recommend, if its telecommunications then do likewise. If you are unsure of your direction or too late for CAO application then apply for a further education fetac level 5 course in IT. That will give you a basic qualification by May 2015 and you can use it as another entry option for college and get some work experience through it, it might also be a way to ease yourself back into study.
Come back with your cv updated and ready to take whatever you can get in the meantime as a means to an end.

cactusgal

I so so so SO happy to leave New Zealand OP, totally understand where you're coming from. The very best of luck with the next chapter of life

The Diabolical Monocle

jacksie66 wrote: »

Fights booked yesterday. Off home on the 8th of april. CANNOT WAIT!!!

Think you're something else with all your travel dont you.

Thinly veiled Im an international jet setter thread.