Angry parent entered school ranting like a lunatic

Felicity1

An angry parent, upset over an alleged bullying incident directed at her child, burst into my child's primary school classroom during lessons and proceeded to roar at all the class in a threatening manner.

She gained access to the locked school as she is a member of the board of management. :mad:

The BOM has been notified of the incident and requests for her immediate resignation have been issued by several parents.

Obviously, her actions have upset the children and their parents. They were left in shock and tears. Many did not want to return to school the next day.

The parent has not apologised for her actions.

Other than reprimanding the parent, does the school have to report the incident to the HSE, Gardai, or other groups? Do her actions warrant a garda caution? Can she be barred from the school grounds?

The parent is involved in several community groups that interact with children. I no longer feel she is fit to work with my child or anyone else's. Is it fair to ask for her removal during events on child protection grounds, even if the incident occurred outside of those activities?

Any advice would be welcome. Many thanks.

Banjoxed

Give the bullies a good boot in the hole. That would be a good start.

Felicity1

The consensus among the class seems to be that the child and the mother are the bullies.

I have considered a good kick up the backside, but that probably isn't the best option for all involved.

Alias G

Banjoxed wrote: »

Give the bullies a good boot in the hole. That would be a good start.

It would be great if solutions were as simple as that.

AerynSun

Felicity1 wrote: »

The consensus among the class seems to be that the child and the mother are the bullies.

I have considered a good kick up the backside, but that probably isn't the best option for all involved.

If the consensus among the class is that the child is the bully, then to my mind that kinda bears out the child's experience of being 'othered' and bullied by the group?

If the children were willing to engage in a conversation about what has been happening, and admit that there have been choices made on all sides that have been hurtful to everyone, that would be a far healthier measure of the situation. IMO.

Bicycle

The school should have a set of policies or procedures available for all parents to see.

Within these policies should be guidelines on bullying and how to make a complaint to the school.

Follow these procedures to the letter. Make sure you do everything as prescribed. You may need to take some legal advice as well.

Is there a Parents Association or Parents Council? You should make contact with the chairperson and/or secretary as well.

You should write a factual and unemotive letter to the principal of the school. The letter should be registered. All of the other parents who feel upset by the situation should do the same.

If your child is suffering from anxiety as a result of the episode, get the child assessed by a professional and get their observations down on headed paper.

No good principal or board of management will want something like this happening in their school.

Felicity1

AerynSun wrote: »

If the children were willing to engage in a conversation about what has been happening, and admit that there have been choices made on all sides that have been hurtful to everyone, that would be a far healthier measure of the situation. IMO.

Your point is valid. I do not know if the bullying happened or not. My issue is with the outrageous conduct of the parent.

my friend

Felicity1 wrote: »

Your point is valid. I do not know if the bullying happened or not. My issue is with the outrageous conduct of the parent.

I think there's more to your side of this story

I'd decline to comment until you furnish same Felicity

Felicity1

my friend wrote: »

I think there's more to your side of this story

I'd decline to comment until you furnish same Felicity

My child is in the class, witnessed all the carry-on, was upset by it, but not involved in the bullying allegations.

AerynSun

Felicity1 wrote: »

My issue is with the outrageous conduct of the parent.

The parent's conduct does need to be addressed. I only hope that the child's experience doesn't get lost in the cloud of outrage about the mother.

Kettleson

"Angry" "Burst into" "roar" "threatening" "gained access locked school".... These allegations witnessed by whom? Presumably only the pupils? and reported to the parents who then made a subsequent report of what went on?

Where was the class teacher? Need more facts on this one.

PS: I'd make a guess that this "threatening parent" was given permission by to speak to the class. If she didn't have permission I'd call in the Garda and report the incident to the Dept of Education. But my hunch is that she was given permission to speak to the class.

Felicity1

Kettleson wrote: »

"Angry" "Burst into" "roar" "threatening" "gained access locked school".... These allegations witnessed by whom? Presumably only the pupils? and reported to the parents who then made a subsequent report of what went on?

Where was the class teacher? Need more facts on this one.

PS: I'd make a guess that this "threatening parent" was given permission by to speak to the class. If she didn't have permission I'd call in the Garda and report the incident to the Dept of Education. But my hunch is that she was given permission to speak to the class.

Witnessed by students, teachers, principal, staff. Principal has confirmed it. She was not given access but had the keypad entry code to the front door since she is on the BOM. She was not invited in.

Edited to add: The teacher was in the room when the parent came in.

Kettleson

Felicity1 wrote: »

Witnessed by students, teachers, principal, staff. Principal has confirmed it. She was not given access but had the keypad entry code to the front door since she is on the BOM. She was not invited in.

Edited to add: The teacher was in the room when the parent came in.

Oh dear...if that's true, its a serious incident with lots of issues to sort out including possible criminal charges.

Greenmachine

Kettleson wrote: »

Oh dear...if that's true, its a serious incident with lots of issues to sort out including possible criminal charges.

Crazy carry on. Those poor kids. Threatening and abusive behavior in a public place. Perhaps campaign to withdraw kid from any and all activities that she is involved in. Refuse to send any children to the school till she is removed from the board of management.

marienbad

Jeez people , get a grip , police charges ? A parent lost the rag , get over it.
Don't worry the toddlers weren't traumatised and will get over it quicker than the parents seem too.

Kettleson

marienbad wrote: »

Jeez people , get a grip , police charges ? A parent lost the rag , get over it.
Don't worry the toddlers weren't traumatised and will get over it quicker than the parents seem too.

If its true what the OP has said then the incident should not go unchallenged. Children should not be subjected to such behaviour and the school has a responsibility to account for what happened.

Allyall

marienbad wrote: »

Jeez people , get a grip , police charges ? A parent lost the rag , get over it.
Don't worry the toddlers weren't traumatised and will get over it quicker than the parents seem too.

It wasn't just a Parent, it was a member of the Board of Management. Obviously unable to control her temper, and (ab)used the items she was given, for personal use.
She should have discussed it first with other members/staff or a solicitor if she wanted to go down that route. It sounds like she took her Childs word at face value (Can't blame her for that), and then marched down to the School without thinking.

She should have her keys/codes and anything else revoked until it has been discussed by other members and staff.
Personally, I would want her gone, someone that is likely to go off on one like that at the simplest thing, is not someone you want on a Board of Management. Need more level-headedness.

Kristopherus

marienbad wrote: »

Jeez people , get a grip , police charges ? A parent lost the rag , get over it.
Don't worry the toddlers weren't traumatised and will get over it quicker than the parents seem too.

Rubbish. I know of no instance where a parent can barge into a school a berate the kids. That parent, IMO, should be reported to the Gardai, so that they will have a record of it. Then the parents should make contact with the other organisations and ask them to review the Garda Vetting Cert in the light of this incident. She must have a Garda Vetting Cert if any of the other organisations she's involved with have dealings with children.

The School authorities have to take a firm stand as well.

JONJO THE MISER

marienbad wrote: »

Jeez people , get a grip , police charges ? A parent lost the rag , get over it.
Don't worry the toddlers weren't traumatised and will get over it quicker than the parents seem too.

Yes police charges, it was serious what she done.
The woman needs to be taken down a step or two, ive seen her type before, thinks she runs her community and can do what she wants and dictate to other people.
Report her to the guards and the department.

Manach

Fair play to the parent. Kids who are subjected to bullying often suffered for years before this is brought to light or acted upon. By taking a positive step to confront the bullies and then have this action reach their parents, that person is taking personal responsibly to protect their child.

Hanalei

Manach wrote: »

Fair play to the parent. Kids who are subjected to bullying often suffered for years before this is brought to light or acted upon. By taking a positive step to confront the bullies and then have this action reach their parents, that person is taking personal responsibly to protect their child.

An adult intimidating children under the age of 12 is now seen as a "positive step"?

Kettleson

Manach wrote: »

Fair play to the parent. Kids who are subjected to bullying often suffered for years before this is brought to light or acted upon. By taking a positive step to confront the bullies and then have this action reach their parents, that person is taking personal responsibly to protect their child.

What!! There are procedures for dealing with such issues. This person (allegedly) followed none of them.

dinnyirwin

Felicity1 wrote: »

An angry parent, upset over an alleged bullying incident directed at her child, burst into my child's primary school classroom during lessons and proceeded to roar at all the class in a threatening manner.

She gained access to the locked school as she is a member of the board of management. :mad:

The BOM has been notified of the incident and requests for her immediate resignation have been issued by several parents.

Obviously, her actions have upset the children and their parents. They were left in shock and tears. Many did not want to return to school the next day.

The parent has not apologised for her actions.

Other than reprimanding the parent, does the school have to report the incident to the HSE, Gardai, or other groups? Do her actions warrant a garda caution? Can she be barred from the school grounds?

The parent is involved in several community groups that interact with children. I no longer feel she is fit to work with my child or anyone else's. Is it fair to ask for her removal during events on child protection grounds, even if the incident occurred outside of those activities?

Any advice would be welcome. Many thanks.

I think you should report it to the Gardai yourself. Dont rely on others to do it.
If my child was in that class I would be straight down to the Gardai. This woman works with children. She should not be let.

Allyall

Manach wrote: »

Fair play to the parent. Kids who are subjected to bullying often suffered for years before this is brought to light or acted upon. By taking a positive step to confront the bullies and then have this action reach their parents, that person is taking personal responsibly to protect their child.

It may have been a misunderstanding, or not as bad as made out.

Also, no way would I consider yelling at a class of kids under 12 be confronting a bully, or a positive step.

Mario95

I feel that there is a lot missing from this story. Obviously the parent was shocked by what happened to her child, she would hardly break into school 'ranting like a lunatic' if she wasn't sure what really happened.

The fact that the teachers did not react also tells us that your story is a bit exaggerated. I agree that she shouldn't have used her BOM privileges to get into school and that she probably should be removed from the BOM.

I also think that instead of looking for punishment and revenge you should be trying to prevent further cases of this happening. Sorting out the bullying issue and implementing an anti-bullying policy would be a good start.

Felicity1

Mario95 wrote: »

I feel that there is a lot missing from this story. Obviously the parent was shocked by what happened to her child, she would hardly break into school 'ranting like a lunatic' if she wasn't sure what really happened.

The fact that the teachers did not react also tells us that your story is a bit exaggerated. I agree that she shouldn't have used her BOM privileges to get into school and that she probably should be removed from the BOM.

I also think that instead of looking for punishment and revenge you should be trying to prevent further cases of this happening. Sorting out the bullying issue and implementing an anti-bullying policy would be a good start.

I am not looking for revenge. My only concern is child safety.

The school has acknowledged the incident, but has not addressed it, at least not informed us parents of the results yet. I am sure they will.

The mother may have every reason to be angry and frustrated. Still no excuse for losing control, IMO.

I appreciate everyone's opinion in the thread. It is difficult to be objective when its your child's welfare.

dinnyirwin

Felicity1 wrote: »

I am not looking for revenge. My only concern is child safety.

The school has acknowledged the incident, but has not addressed it, at least not informed us parents of the results yet. I am sure they will.

The mother may have every reason to be angry and frustrated. Still no excuse for losing control, IMO.

I appreciate everyone's opinion in the thread. It is difficult to be objective when its your child's welfare.

Its your duty to inform the gardai.
Protection of the other children in the school, or other children the woman has access to , from this ever happening again is very important.

gugleguy

Down the road could this woman 'make a scene in church' during these kids communion/confirmation. Deal with this womans behavior now.

Moonbeam

I think a parents meeting needs to be called with that class and the principal and it needs to be discussed.
Normally someone on the board of management would not have direct contact with kids and therefore would not be working directly with kids so may not have garda clearance as others have assumed.

eyescreamcone

gugleguy wrote: »

Down the road could this woman 'make a scene in church' during these kids communion/confirmation. Deal with this womans behavior now.

You say 'make a scene in church' as if this is worse than making a scene in the school.
What has the church situation got to do with anything??

evolving_doors

Moonbeam wrote: »

I think a parents meeting needs to be called with that class and the principal and it needs to be discussed.
Normally someone on the board of management would not have direct contact with kids and therefore would not be working directly with kids so may not have garda clearance as others have assumed.

I think the OP mentioned somewhere that the lady was in contact with children in other areas of the community. Still doesnt mean she has garda vetting though...one to follow up..if she started to berate the class (going by op account) then it's logical to assume she made threats to the kids (either implied or explicit). I think theres a line thats definitely been crossed. Unauthorised access is trespassing no !

Theres a few scuts in my area that have thrown stuff at my house, shouted at my family damaged my car etc. Despite all this, as a teacher I need to keep my distance as any threats or actions by me to a minor could finish my career. Its frustrating but I have to accept the responsibility that I am entrusted with... seems like this lady has abused this trust to her own ends in an irrational manner...

Report her alllllll the way. Don't accept a cover up or some such effort up by the school. But do ask the school what procedures they are following, as they should have some reporting policy in place and a duty to report considering all that has happened in irish schools.

An Bradán Feasa

Just because it happened in school, that's no reason to avoid involving the Gardaí. Report her, don't wait for someone else to do it. When the Gardaí contact her, my guess is she'll be quick not to repeat those actions again in the future. As for the board, write a letter to the patron (the archbishop I'm guessing) and inform him of the incident. The patron can dismiss a member from the board if needs be.

CramCycle

I would ask for a meeting with the principal to see what is being done, if nothing immediate then inform him you are notifying the Gardai and the department of education immediately. If something is being done, is it enough? Possibly contact any other parents you know just to say you are going to pop in and were wondering is there a general agreement or have other parents already heard/done anything. (Obviously ring ahead and don't barge into a class room :pac:)

Her actions, regardless of why, are not the actions of a responsible adult if they happen as you say.

Don't delay though, the Gardai will investigate but you have to be prepared that witnesses will be required and the teacher in the class room will be the sole reliable witness (no offence to the kids but stories can get muddled very quickly). I imagine the department of education would be smart enough to launch an investigation into it as well if they have been notified.

There is the other issue that you will have to decide on in that, the child, a bully or not, is going to have this (caveat: possibly) loom over his/her head for a long time if a bigger issue is made. If the BOM and the principal remove this mothers access and she apologises to the parents, will this be enough?

evolving_doors

CramCycle wrote: »

..... If the BOM and the principal remove this mothers access and she apologises to the parents, will this be enough?

Well there's forgive and forget and all that, also I dont know how far i'd go if I found out my child was being bullied..

.but... looking at the situation on the whole...woman trespasses onto school and enters classroom to threaten kids, also abuses their entrusted position for their own ends...I wouldn't trust her with children again.

Also BOM ratifies child protection policies/ anti_bullying policies which an appointed member then goes and rips up!

DDC1990

To be honest i'd expect the school to have contacted the Gárdaí and the BOM already.

Similar incident happened, with a parent abusing school staff, and the immediate response from the Principal and Vice Principal was to ban that parent from the school and call the Gárdaí.

CramCycle

Armelodie wrote: »

Well there's forgive and forget and all that, also I dont know how far i'd go if I found out my child was being bullied..

TBF, my understanding from the OP was that her child was not being bullied but was the bully (the child of the woman who came in).

.but... looking at the situation on the whole...woman trespasses onto school and enters classroom to threaten kids, also abuses their entrusted position for their own ends...I wouldn't trust her with children again.

As parents we will often see and know of things that we don't like, as adults it is our responsibility to act in the best interests of the child. If her child was the accused bully, then this was not the best way to tackle the issue, if her child was the victim, this was still not the correct approach. In fact there is no excuse for her behaviour no matter how she may feel or think.

Felicity1

CramCycle wrote: »

TBF, my understanding from the OP was that her child was not being bullied but was the bully (the child of the woman who came in).

As parents we will often see and know of things that we don't like, as adults it is our responsibility to act in the best interests of the child. If her child was the accused bully, then this was not the best way to tackle the issue, if her child was the victim, this was still not the correct approach. In fact there is no excuse for her behaviour no matter how she may feel or think.

My child is not the bully, just a member of the class.

CramCycle

Felicity1 wrote: »

My child is not the bully, just a member of the class.

I thought you said the woman who barged in was the Mother of the alleged bully, I seen your post saying your child was not in any way involved and never meant to imply that.

Felicity1

CramCycle wrote: »

I thought you said the woman who barged in was the Mother of the alleged bully, I seen your post saying your child was not in any way involved and never meant to imply that.

Yes, sorry if it wasn't clear. The mother who barged in is the parent of the bully IMO.

spurious

Almost regardless of why the woman entered the school, it's a major safety issue for the school management. I hope the guards were called, or at least informed.

We (second-level school) had an incident a couple of years ago where two women dressed in black ('like ninjas', according to the kids) barged past the porter's desk, ran upstairs and began kicking classroom doors searching for a child who had allegedly 'said something' about one of their children.

I locked my classroom door and took the few I had in my room out of sight of the panel in the door. Still our door was kicked. It was quite frightening listening to the shouting and roaring that was going on. Some of the kids afterwards, some of them quite 'hard' lads, were saying they didn't like it as they wanted to feel safe when they were in school. Initially they saw it as kind of funny, but the more they thought about it the less funny it got.

The guards were called and while the 'ladies' had left the building by the time the squad car arrived, they were paid a visit soon after at their homes.

Taltos

The school has a duty of care towards your child.

Suggest you
a) Report it immediately to the gardai, would be better if a number of parents reported it.
b) Contact the department of education, send a registered letter and a duplicate to the principle.
c) Contact the principle and inform him of your actions and ask what steps they are now taking to ensure the safety of your children and has a meeting been called with the board of management.
d) I would also consider contacting a local paper with the actions taken above if you don't get satisfaction, but that would be a last step as once the name of the school is in the paper it is on record for general searches.

At a minimum I would want to see this mother done for trespass; threatening behaviour and probably a range more.

professore

In my experience, it's rarely the child of a parent like this who gets bullied.

Suppose her child and her friends were constantly bullying another child for months and then the other child reacts and then the child runs to her mother and accuses the child that reacted of bullying her. I've seen this happen both as a child myself and with my daughters. Girls in particular are skilled at this kind of underhanded backstabbing.

Bullies are mean, pathetic cowardly individuals who only get pleasure from life by making others miserable.

However the mother's reaction was out of order.

byhookorbycrook

Worth mentioning that the BOM has a duty of care to the teacher too! NOTHING gives anyone a right to enter a class and scream at pupils and teacher.

muckisluck

The schools complaints procedure should be followed. If there is no satisfaction with this then contact the DES- not before. I would be very surprised if the school has not contacted the guards about the incident already.
I wonder under the terms of natural justice can parents expect to be hear what actions have been taken until the incident has been fully investigated and dealt with. We often hear about victims' frustrations because they can't be kept in the loop about what is going on with criminal investigations. Perhaps similar rules apply here. I don't know the answers by the way.

darrengoff

* Mod Snip* Please don't drag up old threads.

Ash.J.Williams

Change the codes
remove the parent from BOM
Deal with the bullying allegations

my friend

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

Change the codes
remove the parent from BOM
Deal with the bullying allegations

Your prompt response is under consideration

MarkR

I don't suppose there was any resolution to this?

irish_dave_83

Entering the school the way she did could amount to trespassing, but that would be tricky because she is a parent of a pupil there.

I am more concered with her actions upon entry into the class room, which is an issue for the Gardaí, especially as she allegedly made threats to either the teacher or the pupils. You can also notify the HSE of a child protection issue regardless of whether the Garda/school do or not, this could possibly affect her other activities with children depending on how the investigation went.

How to report a concern if you are a parent - http://www.tusla.ie/children-first/how-do-i-report-abuse.

You have already made a complaint to the school, so I suggest involving the Gardaí and the HSE. Hit her from all sides, even if nothing comes of it, she will think twice about doing anything like this again.

byhookorbycrook

This issue occurred in 2014, locking thread.