An American Wife

c_man

I've decided that I'd like a yank as my wife. The day that's in it, makes you think of these things. So good patrons of AH how should I go about getting an American woman?

Duff

Leave Galway and go to America.

SharpshooterTom

I haven't been with any women.

The Backwards Man

By 'been with', do you mean actually had a conversation with them in the same room?

stefan idiot jones

Fly to Urinal, Tennessee.

Go to the County Jail.

Go to Death Row.

Pick out a crack whore.

Marry her in a sweet little ceremony all dressed in orange.

Frosty McSnowballs

I'd like one too. One from Texas, a wild one.

Carrie Madshaw

Accent would wreck my head - I think there's a lot of boards nerds who have married Americans that they met on the internet or whatever as they were incapable of getting an Irish bird and Americans are weirdos who understand them

keith16

I'm in love with an American girl
Though she's my best friend
I love her surreptitious smile
That hides the pain within her

120_Minutes

I was married to one for 5 years, and the best advice i can give you is:

They don't like the "you're now my mammy, instead of my mammy" that Irish men do once they're married.

Duckworth_Luas

c_man wrote: »

I've decided that I'd like a yak as my wife

Go to Tibet, the Chinese have banned that sort of thing though!

pow wow

c_man wrote: »

I've decided that I'd like a yank as my wife

Date one and that'll get it out of your system. You can thank me later.

orangesoda

Some of us heures cant be so picky, i'll be lucky to get any woman

A fellow in my village went over there, got with a yank, had a baby, brought her over here and then split up, she was irish-american herself

The Backwards Man

keith16 wrote: »

I'm in love with an American girl
Though she's my best friend
I love her surreptitious smile
That hides the pain within her

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

Temptamperu

I was with a girl from texas, just a one night stand and missus temptamperu is from Georgia.

Son0vagun

Stay away from American women. I met one once, went back to hers, her wedding photos should have put me off, but I stayed the night. And so started a 6 month affair. Sneaking around her husband, I'd be leaving hers as he was coming home. She invited me to her friends for a 3some but she had to leave cos her hubby was going mad. So I slept with the friend and when my American lover found out I was lucky to survive with my balls.

She once invited me over and when I got there her husband was there. I was introduced as her friend. I made my excuses and ran for the hills. Only ever seen her once again after that. Her friend had informed me that she was only sleeping with me to get pregnant. So 8 months later I visited her to make sure she wasn't in child, which she wasn't. But one thing lead to another and we ended up doing freaky things in a webcam internet site. Never saw her again after that. I was 21 and she was 46. She'd be nearly 60 now, holy fcuk.

So my advise is don't marry a American woman.

catallus

God be with the days you were in a good way if you had a yank. The O'Learys down the road, they had no yank.

downonthefarm

Do they taste different than Irish women?

The Backwards Man

Son0vagun wrote: »

Stay away from American women. I met one once, went back to hers, her wedding photos should have put me off, but I stayed the night. And so started a 6 month affair. Sneaking around her husband, I'd be leaving hers as he was coming home. She invited me to her friends for a 3some but she had to leave cos her hubby was going mad. So I slept with the friend and when my American lover found out I was lucky to survive with my balls.

She once invited me over and when I got there her husband was there. I was introduced as her friend. I made my excuses and ran for the hills. Only ever seen her once again after that. Her friend had informed me that she was only sleeping with me to get pregnant. So 8 months later I visited her to make sure she wasn't in child, which she wasn't. But one thing lead to another and we ended up doing freaky things in a webcam internet site. Never saw her again after that. I was 21 and she was 46. She'd be nearly 60 now, holy fcuk.

So my advise is don't marry a American woman.

That's a Johnny Cash song, isn't it?

Frosty McSnowballs

downonthefarm wrote: »

Do they taste different than Irish women?

Taste like freedom

Gavin.

You don't want to do that OP. Get yourself into Coppers (if you're in Dublin) and acquire some "relief".

MadsL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkqfpkTTy2w

^ Most posters in this thread.



Personally I have no regrets.

MadsL

0-3 is a bit of a weird option...

All the people that have and haven't been with less than four American women.

Remind me not to hire you for my market research.

Femme_Fatale

MadsL wrote: »

0-3 is a bit of a weird option...

All the people that have and haven't been with less than four American women.

Remind me not to hire you for my market research.

Yeh I'm in the 0-3 category; haven't been with any American women weirdly enough.

El Weirdo

biko

Well it worked for that guy in Love Actually.
Good luck.

aidoh

bobdebollix wrote: »

Lob it out

This is good advice in general as well.

SpaceCowb0y

keith16 wrote: »

I'm in love with an American girl
Though she's my best friend
I love her surreptitious smile
That hides the pain within her

Jesus H Christ...

ArtyM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Oh yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

And I am off to watch Silence of the lambs..
I was trying to think of a film to watch, thanks.

Endless Nameless

Carrie Madshaw wrote: »

incapable of getting an Irish bird

Yeah, "incapable" .

harry Bailey esq

i voted 0-3. do Canadians count?

biko

A Canadian any day.

c_man

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

do Canadians count?

No way man.

Badly Drunk Boy

Guess not...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovYIfbnTLMg

average hero

I've dated a number of American women and had one night stands with many too. I have American family too and have spent a lot of my childhood there so I know quite a bit about Americans. Obviously every girls is different but there are a few things you should know about dating yanks....

People tend to be influenced by their culture and American women have a very expectational, demanding nature. Personally, unless I were to find a very laid-back, accepting type of American lady, I would stay away. Put it this way, perhaps I could marry or get along well enough with 10% of Irish women, I would probably get along with 0.25% of American women in the manner required for marriage.

I'd stick with Irish or even European women with regards to marriage. They tend to be less demanding and better craic overall than American women.

Endless Nameless

I didn't know people from Kildare listened to the Buttholes.

Badly Drunk Boy

Endless Nameless wrote: »

I didn't know people from Kildare listened to the Buttholes.

Of course they do! Do people from Donegal listen to them?

harry Bailey esq

average hero wrote: »

I've dated a number of American women and had one night stands with many too. I have American family too and have spent a lot of my childhood there so I know quite a bit about Americans. Obviously every girls is different but there are a few things you should know about dating yanks....

People tend to be influenced by their culture and American women have a very expectational, demanding nature. Personally, unless I were to find a very laid-back, accepting type of American lady, I would stay away. Put it this way, perhaps I could marry or get along well enough with 10% of Irish women, I would probably get along with 0.25% of American women in the manner required for marriage.

I'd stick with Irish or even European women with regards to marriage. They tend to be less demanding and better craic overall than American women.

That's why you should go for a Canadian,I've had the pleasure of two Canadian women (not together:() and both of them were a breath of fresh air,very laid back stoner types the two of em no airs or graces about them whatsoever.Women from the US would strike me as shallow,i think thats because the only exposure i have to them is their portrayal on tv,hopefully one will come along and put my preconceptions to bed.Long story short,Canadian women rock!!

bnt

I wish they all could be California Girls.

Sir Arthur Daley

One would have to live 50 yards of a MacDonalds to keep an American Wife.

ArtyM

It rubs the lotion on it's skin
or else it gets the hose again...

Endless Nameless

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

Of course they do! Do people from Donegal listen to them?

Actually I'm not from Donegal, I lived in Kildare in my Secondary School years and listened to them walking through the corridors and stuff

like this song

average hero

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

That's why you should go for a Canadian,I've had the pleasure of two Canadian women (not together:() and both of them were a breath of fresh air,very laid back stoner types the two of em no airs or graces about them whatsoever.Women from the US would strike me as shallow,i think thats because the only exposure i have to them is their portrayal on tv,hopefully one will come along and put my preconceptions to bed.Long story short,Canadian women rock!!

Women from the US can strike me as shallow too, but I don't think it's their fault. Frankly I think most of them I've come across are lovely like all women and I suppose humans in general.

The American would have grown up with that great victorious nature that Americans have, an optimism that tomorrow is always a better day, an expectance of great customer service and interpersonal relationships. Some can strike people as being shallow, go-getters, greedy, or loud and blatant. I'm not saying that they are, but some have perceptions of that.

That's where the culture clash would be if you are a typical Irish bloke.

Pixie69

In before Madsl...oh wait

WilyCoyote

Pixie69 wrote: »

In before Madsl...oh wait

If he catches you .......... you'll be Weight Watcher of the month - having lost 2 stones!

rustedtrumpet

Keep president Bush as a slave, thatll teach em

harry Bailey esq

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

i voted 0-3. do Canadians count?

Mmmm, are Canadian women American???.....

The Backwards Man

bubblypop wrote: »

Mmmm, are Canadian women American???.....

They are indeed.

North American.

Reindeer

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

I'd like one too. One from Texas, a wild one.

http://www.topgear.com/uk/videos/amber-heard-drives-our-reasonably-priced-car-series-16-episode-5

ted1

c_man wrote: »

I've decided that I'd like a yank as my wife. The day that's in it, makes you think of these things. So good patrons of AH how should I go about getting an American woman?

Don't do it, way to high maintenance

sawdoubters

perfect teeth but no tits

I hear bunch load come over every summer to find a rich farmer that's about to kick the bucket

ted1

downonthefarm wrote: »

Do they taste different than Irish women?

Like doughnuts good while you eating eat, but full if regrets moments later