I met a girl... please advise!

LegacyUser

Was on a flight home from a stag at the weekend. Got to my seat and this girl was sitting there.... She had took my window seat! I love being at the window but let it pass and didn't say anything!

I just sat down and had intended to enjoy the flight, listen to music and talk to my friend who was sitting across the aisle from me.

I didn't want to be one of them people who sits beside someone for the duration of a flight and not say a word so I just asked her if she was there for the weekend. She told me she was visiting a friend.

I told her I was on a stag and she asked what flight I had come over on saying the one she was on was a terrible flight.....

And that was it.... we continued to talk for the entire flight. We actually got on really well I think.

Now I would be the type to be slow (even reluctant) to talk to a strange girl. I would not engage in a full on conversation with a girl unless I knew them or was on a date or something. But this was one of the most fluent, anything but awkward interactions/conversations I have had with any girl. I enjoyed her company and I think she enjoyed mine! We had a bit of craic!

Only thing was.... when we were "deplaning".... I got out of the plane first, leaving her seated. I was with a stag so I wanted to save her the embarrassment of a load of intrigued lads who were on a stag staring at her or some smart arse in the group maybe making a cheeky remark or something. I never said goodbye, or got her name or anything. I just got off the plane, got on the bus to bring us back to the terminal and intended to catch her before we left the airport and get her name or even her number.

I never saw her on the bus. I was actually looking around saying to myself..."is that her?... Is that her?". Then I spotted her in the security line but she was a bit ahead of me!

Then we were outside the airport and she was gone!

I was sad! I said jokingly to my friend, "she's gone from my life!".

But I then said that I am going home and going to find her on the internet, if no joy there I will make calls. She had told me enough to deduct where to look!

She had told me what her occupation was and where she was from.

I googled her job and the town she was from and low and behold.... on the first page that came up, there she was with her pretty face, name and all!

Now...

I want to ask her out because.... why not? There may have been something there. She lives about 2hrs away from me but I don't care!

I found her on her employers' business website. And she came up on facebook when I search her name.

What would one advise?

Sauve

Mod

Hi OP,
I have moved your thread to this forum, as it is a more appropriate place for it.
Best of luck,
Sauve.

Tokyo

Airplane guy wrote: »

What would one advise?

Stop internet stalking girls that do no more than be polite enough to exchange pleasantries with you??

This girl said or did nothing to give you the impression that she wanted to take things any further, or even contact you again. She spoke to you because she was stuck in the next seat to you in a plane for an hour, that's it. No offense, but she's probably completely forgotten about you. Call her up saying what you posted here, and you are going to freak her the hell out.

macplato

I think, if she gave you enough information about her, for you to be able to find her that easily, you should definitely drop her a line. I'd keep it short - just apologise for not saying goodbye before getting off the plane, and explain that you expected to see her outside. Tell her you enjoyed chatting to her and would love to meet her again. Good luck!

retro:electro

I'm sorry but to me it just sounds like you had a nice chat with someone on a flight and that's that. To go looking her up and trying to contact her is going to come across a little creepy, maybe not all girls would agree with me but that's just my view. I've no doubt you're not a creep you actually sound lovely but I just wouldn't do that.

You said you're not usually that open and chatty with girls so I would say because of that, and because this went so well for you that you are holding onto that and thinking she is some amazing person for making you feel so relaxed, when actually you would probably get along with most girls that well if you only let yourself.

Hope my advice helped you!

Piriz

Just send her a Facebook message.. it is easy and you've nothing to lose, worst case scenario is she will not reply but she will probably take it as a compliment despite this.. lifes too short.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Ask her out. You've absolutely nothing to lose, and if she declines you don't even have to see her about town, or with someone else. Just forget it ever happened.

Best of luck.

Ham Sambo

softly softly catchy monkey!! :-) what have you got to loose!!

MadMardegan

Exactly, life is too short!

What have you got to lose by sending a message? It could be the best thing you ever did, or it could be one of your biggest regrets.... worst that'll happen is she won't reply.

Stop thinking about it and just do it!!

beks101

On the other side of this...

When I lived in Canada I came home for a few weeks and found myself sat beside a cute Canadian guy on the way back. We chatted and laughed for hours and hours and had so much in common - similar professions, interests, travel experience, lived in a similar part of the city - etc etc etc

Once we arrived we both sort of hugged awkwardly and got lost in the crowd of people rushing off the plane. I remember at one point looking back to see him a few heads behind, our eyes met and he mouthed something that I never caught, and I never saw him again.

I always wondered about him after that. He wasn't on facebook so that wasn't an option, but had he have been, I would've been delighted to have heard from him again. At the least I could've gained a great friend.

Go for it OP. Either way she'll be flattered, and you have nothing to lose.

AnonMouse

I would agree with mike_ie here. You didn't even know her name to start with. You had to go to google to search her profession and the town she lives in, in order to find her name. That seems a bit excessive to me.

MugMugs

Life's way too short op. No regrets. Make contact and ask her out.

CaraMay

Go for it. I know a girl who married someone she sat next to on a plane journey.

Would you send a flower to her workplace tomorrow saying 'john from the plane 086xxxxxx' and it's up to her then to contact you if she wants.

A small, once off gesture won't be creepy.

Pawwed Rig

Go for it mate. The worst that can happen is she says No.
I don't agree it is creepy at all. It depends which way you look at it. It could be seen as the OP going the extra mile for romance

Jenneke87

Am I the only woman who would be somewhat flattered if a guy would go through all that trouble just to find me again....? I would not ring her, but send a message through facebook/linkedin/whatever site she is on, explain who you are and if she'd like to meet up again. Best of luck and kudos for making an effort

ManOfMystery

One of my best friends met his wife by striking up conversation when he sat next to her on a plane, then making an effort to find her after they parted. That doesn't mean the same thing will happen you lol, but give it a shot! Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

If you don't get the response you want though, leave it at that.

Ann84

I would also be flattered... Provided you keep it light I can't see how it could hurt!!

Besides, with tomorrow being Valentine's, I'm sure there will be lots of messages floating around from secret admirers!!
:-)

heretochat

CaraMay wrote: »

Go for it. I know a girl who married someone she sat next to on a plane journey.

Would you send a flower to her workplace tomorrow saying 'john from the plane 086xxxxxx' and it's up to her then to contact you if she wants.

A small, once off gesture won't be creepy.

I think that this is a smashing idea. Not too excessive and puts the ball into her court to see if she is interested. If you hear nothing back well then you know...

Legs.Eleven

I'd say stick with the Facebook message and nothing else. As others have said, you've nothing to lose but a bit of a knock to the ego.

My current boyfriend (who I'd only spoken to once before) sent my housemate (who he knew) a message so she could arrange a "accidental" meeting between us (she obviously told me about the message immediately) and we're together 3 years later. Not quite the same thing but I was very flattered. I'm a bit of a sucker for romance anyway but that's just me. Good luck!

Hannibal Smith

CaraMay wrote: »

Go for it. I know a girl who married someone she sat next to on a plane journey.

Would you send a flower to her workplace tomorrow saying 'john from the plane 086xxxxxx' and it's up to her then to contact you if she wants.

A small, once off gesture won't be creepy.

I absolutely LOVE this idea! How romantic would that be??!!

freshpopcorn

Go for it. It can't do any harm.

Merkin

I would absolutely go for it, I love the flower idea! I think you've nothing to lose OP and potentially lots to gain!

Ooooh I love a bit of romance!

strobe

I think sending a flower, particularly to her place of work, is a bit much. For one thing, you don't mention if it ever came up if she was married or in a relationship, a flower and phone number arriving from some guy could be quite a nuisance.

I'd definitely get in touch on Facebook though. She could be married or a lesbian or asexual or just not interested but you won't know if you don't send off a message. You know you'll regret it if you dont.

Best of luck, hope it works out man.

Stavro Mueller

CaraMay wrote: »

..Would you send a flower to her workplace tomorrow saying 'john from the plane 086xxxxxx' and it's up to her then to contact you if she wants.
.

Sorry but to me, this is when it gets creepy. How do you know this girl doesn't already have a boyfriend? Or that she's a private person and would be mortified if a flower was delivered to her workplace?

Personally I'd just send a Facebook message saying Hi and hope for the best. Good luck

greentea is just wrong

Flowers is over the top, but I'd send her a message via FB/linked in.

On Facebook though if you aren't friends, be aware the message goes into another inbox, which you don't get a notification for, so she mightn't see it straight away

karaokeman

OP do you know for sure she's not married or in a committed relationship? If she told you she was single, the flowers mightn't hurt.

Otherwise send a Facebook message, you will know if she see's it or not.

But don't listen to posters saying she was just being nice, you will never know unless you go out there and try.

eviltwin

Send a message via FB, keep it casual. It might not lead to anything but its worth a try. But if you don't get anything back from her or you get a less than positive reply leave it at that otherwise you will be crossing the line.

Send her a message over Facebook. You have absolutely nothing to lose. Worst she can do is say no and/or block you and if that happens, chances are that you'll never meet her again and you can move on with your life snug in the knowledge that at least. you. tried.

If she does reply, then you can see about becoming Facebook friends and then you can see whether she is single or not. But take it in baby steps.

XarcherX

Go for it OP! I would be very flattered if a guy went to all that trouble, you have absolutely nothing to lose and if you dont do it you'll ways wonder what if..best of luck

thegreatgonzo

CaraMay wrote: »

Go for it. I know a girl who married someone she sat next to on a plane journey.

Would you send a flower to her workplace tomorrow saying 'john from the plane 086xxxxxx' and it's up to her then to contact you if she wants.

A small, once off gesture won't be creepy.

LOVE this! OP go for it! If it was me, even if I was only being polite on the plane I'd be so flattered that a guy went to the trouble to try and meet me again.

Coco Monster

I think it's great! Go for it. Even if she is in a relationship, no harm done, it's up to her then. I like the idea of the flowers, FB and the likes are just too easy. It's nice to see someone making an effort and it will make a lasting impression 😜

retro:electro

The conversation couldn't have gotten that deep OP if you didn't even catch her name. If you sent her flowers she may even draw a blank and not remember who the hell you are! (Not to be mean)

I think you should use this experience as motivation to meet someone else and as confirmation that you're more than capable I having a comfortable conversation with a pretty girl.

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Rubylolz

I'd be flattered if a guy went to the effort of finding me on Facebook n sent me a light hearted msg...

Op nothing ventured nothing gained go for it worst case scenario she says no, an sure what have you lost? Odds of you meeting her again unarranged is minimal...

The flower would be a bit much for me ESP at my workplace, I'd be a private person though an wouldn't appreciate the attention from work colleagues. Your private life in my opinion is best left private (only my opinion).. Best of luck op do it

promises

I love the single flower idea, every woman would love this and be really flattered. Go for it, worst case you make her day. Good luck op.

promises

I love the single flower idea, every woman would love this and be really flattered. Go for it, worst case you make her day. Good luck op.

Meauldsegosha

promises wrote: »

I love the single flower idea, every woman would love this and be really flattered. Go for it, worst case you make her day. Good luck op.

Not every women would love this and be flattered. As evident by this thread some people think it is a bad idea. Worst case is she is embarrassed in front of her colleagues or gets a given out to by her boss. The OP really doesn't know an awful lot about this girl from their conversation. This is real life not a hollywood movie.

OP the FB message is probably your best bet.

Czarcasm

OP you've probably jumped in with both feet already, but for future reference, if a girl doesn't so much as give you her first name, you're doing nothing more than polite conversation. I understand the temptation to google and all, but jesus, I doubt that's what she had in mind when she was making conversation with you.

I talk to strangers on a daily basis and I wouldn't go googling them afterwards. It was a friendly chat to pass the time, and you're reading far too much into it. I wouldn't encourage you to go googling every girl who strikes up a conversation with you, for your own sake even, as much as hers.

FollatonWood

Ah OP there seem to be a few cynical views here, but I'd pay no heed! It's not often you meet someone you feel that connection with and sure what's the harm in following up on it? If she's not impressed then she doesn't have to reply. But if she is interested...well, wouldn't it be a lovely story?

retro:electro

FollatonWood wrote: »

Ah OP there seem to be a few cynical views here, but I'd pay no heed! It's not often you meet someone you feel that connection with and sure what's the harm in following up on it? If she's not impressed then she doesn't have to reply. But if she is interested...well, wouldn't it be a lovely story?

He's never felt a connection with anyone like that because he has never let himself. I honestly think he is looking into it too much. If she wanted him to know her name she would have told him it or asked him his.

It's one of those things that will divide opinion and equally it could go either way.

LegacyUser

Hey OP

Your thread reminded me of something similar that happened to me years ago.

I was working in Reception for a company and a chap came in one day looking for directions. I was friendly and told him where to go and that was that.

Later that day a big massive bouquet of flowers arrived in for the Receptionist :O
His number was on the card that came with them and all the girls in the office were saying I HAVE to text him to say thanks! I was really flattered but confused? I had literally 2 mins of directions chat with him so I suppose yes I was flattered but a little miffed!

Anywho, I text him to say thanks so much and how flattered I was, (at the time I had a boyfriend so it wasnt going to go much further than the text) I explained I was spoken for etc. and he seemed a little disappointed but accepted that fact.

However, he didnt let up! He kept texting me weekly, I started to get annoyed with this and I hadnt replied to any of these texts because I had made myself clear. Then he text to say he went and booked me a spa day in a hotel WITH HIM??????

Had to really nip it in the bud there and then! Coming from a personal approach here - I would go with the message on FB and no more than that. No harm can come from a message, but I think the flowers etc. is a bit OTT.

Best of luck!

FollatonWood

anna080 wrote: »

He's never felt a connection with anyone like that because he has never let himself. I honestly think he is looking into it too much. If she wanted him to know her name she would have told him it or asked him his.

It's one of those things that will divide opinion and equally it could go either way.

Really? What if she's shy? What if she's sitting at home now thinking she should have? What if she looked for him online and couldn't find him?

You never know OP, and you won't know til you message her - go for it!

Tokyo

I've already stated my opinion in the first post, and apparently I am in the minority, but OP, if you are going to go ahead with this, please limit it to facebook contact first. First, facebook is a little bit more socially acceptable in terms of tracking people down, there is an element of "you're on facebook to be found" inherent in it. A quick "hello, we met on the plane" plus a couple of lines afterwards will suffice.

Don't giver her the big long spiel of how you found her by googling her work, then finding her photo, then figuring out her name, then finding her on facebook, then contacting her. I know you're proud of the fact that you managed to find her, but this could quite easily come across the wrong way.

Don't send flowers/cards/whatever to her workplace. It's her workplace. She may have a boyfriend who she works with, and it could cause all sorts of problems for her, she may have to field awkward questions from colleagues/boss, etc. You need to leave the ball in her court somewhat.

Hope it works out for you.

retro:electro

FollatonWood wrote: »

Really? What if she's shy? What if she's sitting at home now thinking she should have? What if she looked for him online and couldn't find him?

You never know OP, and you won't know til you message her - go for it!

I do admire your romantic idealistic view, but it's time to be realistic and refer to my earlier point, if she liked him she would have asked his name or told him hers, simple as.

FollatonWood

anna080 wrote: »

I do admire your romantic idealistic view, but it's time to be realistic and refer to my earlier point, if she liked him she would have asked his name or told him hers, simple as.

No, it's time to be a bit open minded. She may have been shy or she may not have known if he was interested or not. This isn't 'idealistic' - it's common sense; alot of people are too shy to make the first move, god knows there are enough threads on here about it. I'm cynical as fcuk usually, but I don't think there is anything to be cynical about here.

promises

promises wrote: »

I love the single flower idea, every woman would love this and be really flattered. Go for it, worst case you make her day. Good luck op.

No, we certainly wouldn't

Keep it to facebook, OP

Meauldsegosha

FollatonWood wrote: »

No, it's time to be a bit open minded. She may have been shy or she may not have known if he was interested or not. This isn't 'idealistic' - it's common sense; alot of people are too shy to make the first move, god knows there are enough threads on here about it. I'm cynical as fcuk usually, but I don't think there is anything to be cynical about here.

So she was too shy to tell him her name but she told him where she worked and where she lived. I don't think so. She spoke to him for the whole flight, at least 30 minutes depending on the destinations involved but she never mentioned her name because she was too shy? You have your head in the clouds.

greentea is just wrong

To be fair, there has been many times I have spent ages talking to someone, could tell a lot about them, but not their name! I always find if you don't introduce yourself with your name at the very beginning (or ask and forget) it can be very hard to slip it into conversation 20 mins later to try and find out their name without looking like an idiot

FollatonWood

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

So she was too shy to tell him her name but she told him where she worked and where she lived. I don't think so. She spoke to him for the whole flight, at least 30 minutes depending on the destinations involved but she never mentioned her name because she was too shy? You have your head in the clouds.

I don't actually. I had a similar exp before that worked out really well in the end.

Look everyone has their own opinion - grand!

OP, mine is that you should go for it and I wish you the best of luck

Czarcasm

FollatonWood wrote: »

No, it's time to be a bit open minded. She may have been shy or she may not have known if he was interested or not. This isn't 'idealistic' - it's common sense; alot of people are too shy to make the first move, god knows there are enough threads on here about it. I'm cynical as fcuk usually, but I don't think there is anything to be cynical about here.

Ehh, I'm as open minded as anyone else here, and I still think it's just too much to be going googling and facebooking and delving into someone's privacy like that if they haven't explicity made it clear that they would like you to do so by giving you their contact details, whether it be their phone number or other means of contacting them online.

If anything this whole thing just goes to show how people should be more careful about their online presence and privacy. Has the OP asked himself why this girl hasn't looked HIM up? Would HE like to have complete strangers looking him up?

OP you should've taken the opportunity when you had it, not go googling for her details after the fact. You missed out, and so you need to let go and move on. Social media makes it that much harder when it's so easy to look people up, but jesus, a bit of respect for their privacy, even if they're a bit lax about it themselves. It doesn't give you the right to make unsolicited contact, and that IS reality, not, as someone mentioned already some sort of a romcom film.

FollatonWood

Czarcasm wrote: »

Ehh, I'm as open minded as anyone else here, and I still think it's just too much to be going googling and facebooking and delving into someone's privacy like that if they haven't explicity made it clear that they would like you to do so by giving you their contact details, whether it be their phone number or other means of contacting them online.

If anything this whole thing just goes to show how people should be more careful about their online presence and privacy. Has the OP asked himself why this girl hasn't looked HIM up? Would HE like to have complete strangers looking him up?

OP you should've taken the opportunity when you had it, not go googling for her details after the fact. You missed out, and so you need to let go and move on. Social media makes it that much harder when it's so easy to look people up, but jesus, a bit of respect for their privacy, even if they're a bit lax about it. It doesn't give you the right to make unsolicited contact, and that IS reality, not, as someone mentioned already some sort of a romcom film.

Maybe she has and couldn't find him.

If you're on social media and don't want to be found, then make your details private.

It's hardly disrespectful to contact someone to tell them you enjoyed speaking with them and would like to see them again. If she's not interested then she doesn't reply and case closed. If she is interested - happy days.

Czarcasm

FollatonWood wrote: »

Maybe she has and couldn't find him.

If you're on social media and don't want to be found, then make your details private.

It's hardly disrespectful to contact someone to tell them you enjoyed speaking with them and would like to see them again. If she's not interested then she doesn't reply and case closed. If she is interested - happy days.

Some people are on social media for professional reasons, not because they want to be, and while our standards may differ, I think it IS disrespectful to go googling somebody to tell them you would like to see them again. I certainly wouldn't welcome it, and by your logic - if this girl couldn't find the OP, he must have his details private, so why would he not respect her right to privacy?

If she was interested, she should've made her interest known when the opportunity arose, same as the OP, or do people not learn from their mistakes any more because now they can google people and get a second bite of the cherry?

Let it go OP would be my advice, and learn for the next time you're talking to a girl you find attractive, rather than getting stuck on the one that got away.