Dear Friend: Pay for my Honeymoon

Get off my lawn!

I just received a wedding invitation, and their registry was a link to this:

We are honored you will share in our special day. Your presence is our gift!

We're lucky to already have a home full of everything we need, so please enjoy browsing this "alternative" registry. Here you can contribute to our dream honeymoon!

Thanks for visiting and we can't wait to see you on our big day!

You can just give money, or you can pay for 'experiences', like swimming with dolphins or a sunset cruise.

I've heard about these 'honey funds' before but never actually received a link to one until now and TBH I think they are kind of horrible. I get the logic of a gift registry in that they are traditionally a way for guests to help couples set up a household. And I get that as people get married later in life, they don't need a lot of stuff. But this just seems tacky to me.

Am I just being grumpy about this? Or are honey funds offensively blatant gift-grubbing?

pc7

I'm with you it's rude, a wedding is not a pay per view event. I always give a cash gift but if I was sent that I'd probably give a toaster.

urabell

Giving gifts should be optional and the choice of gift left completely to the guests, what you described is mental

phasers

pair of greedy gits! buy them a bale of towels from penneys

lazygal

Pay for your own holiday. The couples who expect others to pay for their wedding and honeymoon deserve 250 toasters.

shopaholic01

Arm bands, bucket and spade for the 'beach experience'.

That's taking the piss.

MRnotlob606

so you've been invited to pay money, Sweet.

MagicMarker

Get them a toaster that only toasts one slice of bread at a time, the scrounging fúcking gee bags.

bronte

Give them a lovely picture frame with a picture of a dolphin in it.

KeithM89

Get off my lawn! wrote: »

Your presence is our gift!*

*apart from the large monetary requirement.

DoozerT6

Pay for your honeymoon?

I will in me hoop.

shopaholic01

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Arm bands, bucket and spade for the 'beach experience'.

Oh pleeeeease do this :pac:

Happyman42

I blame the gays...ruining our marraiges!

Cupcake_Crisis

That's fierce cheeky!! Would they not just the stupid amount of money they'll probably get in cards to pay for their honeymoon?

pc7

So are we thinking the 1 vote for awesome is the couple who invited you

Id sponsor a dolphin for a year for them.

syklops

urabell wrote: »

Giving gifts should be optional and the choice of gift left completely to the guests, what you described is mental

While I agree gift giving is optional and the choice is up to the guest, how do you not end up with 8 coffee makes in your living room the day after the wedding?

Honeyfunds is beyond tacky though.

Skill Magill

This happens when chuggers marry. You've just been chugged

brevity

I think in weddings, money given as gifts might go to a honeymoon. They could have worded it a bit better, but it's not that outrageous.

whirlpool

They pay for your four course meal, an in return you pay for a gift. If that gift is physical, or a monetary contribution, I don't see what difference it makes. Wedding days are basically partially a forced transaction. Four course meal in exchange for wedding gift. Otherwise you're just taking a free four course meal. Granted, you probably don't have much choice but to go to the wedding, depending on who they are.

Sir Arthur Daley

What country are the newly weds going to OP? will help us with a few suggestions

Merkin

We are honored you will share in our special day. Your presence is our gift!

I'd probably highlight this in my RSVP, write 'Great! See you there!' and get them a pair of his and hers flight socks as a gesture of goodwill.....

shopaholic01

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Arm bands, bucket and spade for the 'beach experience'.

That's taking the piss.

And a 12 box of durex finest for the bed experience.

whirlpool

whirlpool wrote: »

They pay for your four course meal, an in return you pay for a gift. If that gift is physical, or a monetary contribution, I don't see what difference it makes. Wedding days are basically partially a forced transaction. Four course meal in exchange for wedding gift. Otherwise you're just taking a free four course meal. Granted, you probably don't have much choice but to go to the wedding, depending on who they are.

Asking or expecting money or cash equivalents is tacky. It just smacks of greed, lets people know their presence at their wedding has a cash value rather than them just wanting to share it with you.

I wouldn't do it in a million years.

P_1

A budget toaster is the ideal gift for them in that case OP

Agricola

"I just got sick in my mouth" and "I dont want to live on this planet anymore" are the two responses that sprung to mind here.

Merkin

whirlpool wrote: »

They pay for your four course meal, an in return you pay for a gift. If that gift is physical, or a monetary contribution, I don't see what difference it makes. Wedding days are basically partially a forced transaction. Four course meal in exchange for wedding gift. Otherwise you're just taking a free four course meal. Granted, you probably don't have much choice but to go to the wedding, depending on who they are.

What?! A wedding should never be a benefit gig. It's crass and tacky.

phasers

whirlpool wrote: »

They pay for your four course meal, an in return you pay for a gift. If that gift is physical, or a monetary contribution, I don't see what difference it makes. Wedding days are basically partially a forced transaction. Four course meal in exchange for wedding gift. Otherwise you're just taking a free four course meal. Granted, you probably don't have much choice but to go to the wedding, depending on who they are.

I thought weddings were a couple sharing their love with the world or some ****

shopaholic01

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

And a 12 box of durex finest for the bed experience.

Lidl condoms, let's not splash out here.

shopaholic01

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Lidl condoms, let's not splash out here.

Well with lidl condoms he might

Merrion

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Lidl condoms, let's not splash out here.

Is that their marketing slogan?

shopaholic01

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Lidl condoms, let's not splash out here.

We'll just settle with a roll of cling film so

Sir Arthur Daley

Snotaul Goodman wrote: »

We'll just settle with a roll of cling film so

Or a lidl shopping bag.

shopaholic01

Merrion wrote: »

Is that their marketing slogan?

Apparently:

Deleted User wrote: »

Well with lidl condoms he might

There's a gift idea - honeymoon baby.

shopaholic01

shopaholic01 wrote: »

There's a gift idea - honeymoon baby.

I'll settle for a toaster princess

shopaholic01

Deleted User wrote: »

I'll settle for a toaster princess

Very ungracious of you!


http://www.princess.nl/en/producten/23-toasters/

somuj

Just tell them to fuk off and die.

westcoast66

We had a 'no gifts' policy on our wedding invites. Most people ignored this and put money in a card. Some even said they had given us more money than normal because of this policy!

shopaholic01

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Very ungracious of you!


http://www.princess.nl/en/producten/23-toasters/

I'd actually quite like the Croque Monsieur one with the four slots. I'd be very gracious if someone gave me one of those.

Now I want a cheese toastie.

Paddy Cow

whirlpool wrote: »

They pay for your four course meal, an in return you pay for a gift. If that gift is physical, or a monetary contribution, I don't see what difference it makes. Wedding days are basically partially a forced transaction. Four course meal in exchange for wedding gift. Otherwise you're just taking a free four course meal. Granted, you probably don't have much choice but to go to the wedding, depending on who they are.

That argument really winds me up. If I host a dinner party at my house, I don't expect my guests to reimburse me for the cost of the meal. It was my decision to invite them and if I don't have the funds to cover the costs, then I don't host a party.

Going to a wedding is an expensive experience. Most people have to pay for accommodation, travel expenses, etc which all cost a lot more than their "free" meal. Plus the meals at weddings aren't anything special. You would have more choice and better food if you went to a restaurant for a night out. I've had to turn down wedding invitations in the past, simply because I couldn't afford all the expense. "Free" meal my ar$e. If I was looking for a free meal I would go home and visit my mother. Much nicer food too :P

shopaholic01

Candie wrote: »

I'd actually quite like the Croque Monsieur one with the four slots. I'd be very gracious if someone gave me one of those.

Now I want a cheese toastie.

Make me one too!

Sir Arthur Daley

OP just give them €200 as a wedding present and be done with it.

shopaholic01

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Make me one too!

Okay, but it'll take a little while under the grill since I don't have a superydupery toaster. I only have seven grain rye if that's ok with you.

MoonDancer

Just checked some of the profiles on honeyfund, and you can tick boxes and "buy" gifts for people and say you're paying cash. Just tried it myself and it says "gift fulfilled" oops

Could be a good game....

H2UMrsRobinson

WikiHow wrote: »

OP just give them €200 as a wedding present and be done with it.

I am never accepting a wedding invite to an Irish wedding, is €200 really the going rate ? Feck that ****. I think £50 was the norm when we got married only 5 years ago and that was on the generous side. And we had a free bar. UK weddings FTW.

Side Show Bob

somuj wrote: »

Just tell them to fuk off and die.

If I got that invitation I would tell them go Fuk themselves!

OP you need to add WanI<ers to your poll

Get off my lawn!

whirlpool wrote: »

They pay for your four course meal, an in return you pay for a gift. If that gift is physical, or a monetary contribution, I don't see what difference it makes. Wedding days are basically partially a forced transaction. Four course meal in exchange for wedding gift. Otherwise you're just taking a free four course meal.

I totally reject this argument, for reasons already outlined above.

In addition, since they are having a destination wedding at an expensive all-inclusive resort, I'm already paying for my own meals, thankyouverymuch. :mad:

(the fact that this is an expensive destination wedding makes the honey fund even MORE tacky, in my opinion).

whirlpool wrote: »

Granted, you probably don't have much choice but to go to the wedding, depending on who they are.

One of my best friends. But I'm probably not going to go because the resort they picked to have it at is outrageously expensive.

Sir Arthur Daley

H2UMrsRobinson wrote: »

I am never accepting a wedding invite to an Irish wedding, is €200 really the going rate ? Feck that ****. I think £50 was the norm when we got married only 5 years ago and that was on the generous side. And we had a free bar. UK weddings FTW.

Well €100 if going as a couple to a friends wedding, €200 to family.

Get off my lawn!

WikiHow wrote: »

Well €100 if going as a couple to a friends wedding, €200 to family.

Who makes these numbers up? Seriously?

As I am perpetually broke, I prefer to buy a relatively inexpensive gift off of the registry rather than give cash (I feel like less of a cheapskate). But I REFUSE to contribute to a Honey Fund.

Augmerson

If your going to pay in for their wedding it should be like a Kickstarter and you get something in return like a ride on the wedding night or something only fair.

Merkin

Get off my lawn! wrote: »

In addition, since they are having a destination wedding at an expensive all-inclusive resort, I'm already paying for my own meals, thankyouverymuch. :mad:

(the fact that this is an expensive destination wedding makes the honey fund even MORE tacky, in my opinion

OMG that is a total pi55 take!!!