Ireland's Dumbest Criminals 2014

Muahahaha

I propose a thread to log the details of the dumbest criminals in Ireland over the course of 2014. It should become quite a humorous resource as there is no lack of thick criminals in Ireland. Feel free to follow up and write the details of any crimes and convictions where the criminal themselves got caught purely for being dumb.

If there's interest at the end of the year I'll add a poll to select the award for AH Dumbest Criminal 2014



I'll begin by proposing the first dumb criminal, Femi Adekele, a Nigerian born citizen of Ireland who was studying for a Masters at Dublin City University. Femi and his accomplice decided that they would break into a computer lab at DCU and steal as many Apple computers as they could manage.

They successfully broke into the computer lab late at night and cut the Apple desktops from their security chains and started filling them into shopping bags. While they were doing so the security guards entered the computer lab and the two burglars reacted by jumping out of the first floor window. Femi fell into a bush awkwardly and broke his leg. He could not stand up but his accomplice could and did a runner. He stayed silent in the bushes and the security guards assumed both of them had made a getaway.

For the next 12 hours Femi waited in the bush with a broken leg until his accomplice returned. When he did he returned to DCU with a wheelbarrow in the darkness of night to rescue poor Femi who wasn't able to walk. He got his friend into the wheelbarrow and was in the process of wheeling Femi to safety when the security guards spotted them again. For the second time Femi's friend did a runner, leaving him as a sitting duck in a wheelbarrow for the security and Gardai to pick up.

In court Femi told the judge that he needed to steal the computers because he had an idea for a rival game to Angry Birds, which he was going to call "Angry Pigs". According to Femi he was going to make millions from the idea. The judge called the crime and rescue attempt with the wheelbarrow "farcical" and imposed a two year suspended sentence on Femi.

So to Femi Adekele, I propose you as Ireland's Dumbest Criminal for 2014, let the contest begin !

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/farcical-rescue-of-dcu-thief-with-broken-leg-1.1678490

bodhrandude

Interesting and a funny story OP, this thread might take a while to get rolling though as we are only a month or so into the new year, maybe you should do one for 2013, at least there will be a few stories from last year,

Kilgore__Trout

The justification is the icing on the cake. They probably should have called it "Slightly Irate Pigs", to avoid any risk of copyright infringement, because that would have worked.

Menas

2 year suspended sentence?

Arthur Beesley

Muahahaha wrote: »

I propose a thread to log the details of the dumbest criminals in Ireland over the course of 2014. It should become quite a humorous resource as there is no lack of thick criminals in Ireland. Feel free to follow up and write the details of any crimes and convictions where the criminal themselves got caught purely for being dumb.

If there's interest at the end of the year I'll add a poll to select the award for AH Dumbest Criminal 2014



I'll begin by proposing the first dumb criminal, Femi Adekele, a Nigerian born citizen of Ireland who was studying for a Masters at Dublin City University. Femi and his accomplice decided that they would break into a computer lab at DCU and steal as many Apple computers as they could manage.

They successfully broke into the computer lab late at night and cut the Apple desktops from their security chains and started filling them into shopping bags. While they were doing so the security guards entered the computer lab and the two burglars reacted by jumping out of the first floor window. Femi fell into a bush awkwardly and broke his leg. He could not stand up but his accomplice could and did a runner. He stayed silent in the bushes and the security guards assumed both of them had made a getaway.

For the next 12 hours Femi waited in the bush with a broken leg until his accomplice returned. When he did he returned to DCU with a wheelbarrow in the darkness of night to rescue poor Femi who wasn't able to walk. He got his friend into the wheelbarrow and was in the process of wheeling Femi to safety when the security guards spotted them again. For the second time Femi's friend did a runner, leaving him as a sitting duck in a wheelbarrow for the security and Gardai to pick up.

In court Femi told the judge that he needed to steal the computers because he had an idea for a rival game to Angry Birds, which he was going to call "Angry Pigs". According to Femi he was going to make millions from the idea. The judge called the crime and rescue attempt with the wheelbarrow "farcical" and imposed a two year suspended sentence on Femi.

So to Femi Adekele, I propose you as Ireland's Dumbest Criminal for 2014, let the contest begin !

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/farcical-rescue-of-dcu-thief-with-broken-leg-1.1678490

OP, after all that this lad still got a suspended sentence.

I bet he wouldn't have gotten a suspended sentence had he done the same in his own country of origin.

I'm assuming he wasn't deported. Was he really that dumb? He got away scott free.

Or is the system that gave him the suspended sentence dumb? The system that sends out the message 'come to Ireland, we are soft touches and are just waiting to be your victims'.

looksee

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

OP, after all that this lad still got a suspended sentence.

I bet he wouldn't have gotten a suspended sentence had he done the same in his own country of origin.

I'm assuming he wasn't deported. Was he really that dumb? He got away scott free.

Or is the system that gave him the suspended sentence dumb? The system that sends out the message 'come to Ireland, we are soft touches and are just waiting to be your victims'.

He couldn't be deported, his is an Irish citizen. His origins are just co-incidental to the plot.

Arthur Beesley

looksee wrote: »

He couldn't be deported, his is an Irish citizen. His origins are just co-incidental to the plot.

Couldn't doesn't mean shouldn't.

minidazzler

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

Couldn't doesn't mean shouldn't.

He is an Irish CITIZEN. Not sure you understand the meaning, but he shouldn't be sent away. We don't practice Exile or Outlawry here thank fook.

Badly Drunk Boy

Yeah, he can't even be banished.

Padkir

First page of what could be a good thread and someone decides to try derail it talking about deportation, **** legal system here, etc.

Sometimes I hate after hours...

steddyeddy

The Irish people. They allowed Haughey and his family to get away with owning an island and letting every single scandal slip away without protesting or anything. Criminal negligence.

cloud493

steddyeddy wrote: »

The Irish people. They allowed Haughey and his family to get away with owning an island and letting every single scandal slip away without protesting or anything. Criminal negligence.

It took this long to get round to the politicians? Your slipping AH :rolleyes:

steddyeddy

cloud493 wrote: »

It took this long to get round to the politicians? Your slipping AH :rolleyes:

No we haven't moved away from criminals.

cloud493

steddyeddy wrote: »

No we haven't moved away from criminals.

:rolleyes:

DwightSchrute1

steddyeddy wrote: »

The Irish people. They allowed Haughey and his family to get away with owning an island and letting every single scandal slip away without protesting or anything. Criminal negligence.

This thread is called "Ireland's Dumbest Criminals 2014".

You're living in the past man. Quit living in the past.

steddyeddy

cloud493 wrote: »

:rolleyes:

Clever response. I was expressing the fact that not all politicians are criminals. The fact that I picked a politician who was a criminal doesn't mean that I think all politicians are criminals.

cloud493

Yeah. Thats exactly what you were going for

Diabhal Beag

What a shame to see a good OP wasted.

Hootanany

Where's Femi response gone?

Arthur Beesley

minidazzler wrote: »

He is an Irish CITIZEN. Not sure you understand the meaning, but he shouldn't be sent away. We don't practice Exile or Outlawry here thank fook.

I'm sure his citizenship could be revoked if needed.

Arthur Beesley

Padkir wrote: »

First page of what could be a good thread and someone decides to try derail it talking about deportation, **** legal system here, etc.

Sometimes I hate after hours...

Yeah, could have been a great thread. Ripped off from a US TV show and numerous other imitators. Classic thread indeed.

SamAK

Well, seeing as no one else has mentioned it yet -

I vote for the plonker who failed to kill John Gilligan last night. How bad a shot was the gun-person*?


*I always aim to be politically correct and non gender-specific. Could well have been a gunwoman.

Zeebs

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

I'm sure his citizenship could be revoked if needed.

In my personal opinion one of the most annoying things I've noticed since joining boards.ie is the regularity of decent, interesting threads being hijacked by posters with anti-immigration and at times down right racist agendas.

This thread has NOTHING to do with the ethnicity, citizenship or nationality.

hdowney

I can't believe they gave him a 2 year SUSPENDED sentence. What kinda image does that send out for fook sake

Panthro

SamAK wrote: »

Well, seeing as no one else has mentioned it yet -

I vote for the plonker who failed to kill John Gilligan last night. How bad a shot was the gun-person*?


*I always aim to be politically correct and non gender-specific. Could well have been a gunwoman.

John's would-be shooter can't say that!

Arthur Beesley

Zeebs wrote: »

In my personal opinion one of the most annoying things I've noticed since joining boards.ie is the regularity of decent, interesting threads being hijacked by posters with anti-immigration and at times down right racist agendas.

This thread has NOTHING to do with the ethnicity, citizenship or nationality.

Yeah, I'm sure everyone want's criminals getting Irish citizenship.

No Pants

minidazzler wrote: »

He is an Irish CITIZEN. Not sure you understand the meaning, but he shouldn't be sent away. We don't practice Exile or Outlawry here thank fook.

What about dropping him down a deep hole and then filling it with sand? Can we do that?

Napper Hawkins

The lad tried to steal some computers. He's not Larry Murphy, for ****s sake.

Bipolar Joe

Listen, we all know that politicians are generally assholes. Let's keep that in mind together as we continue to not post about them in every fucking thread on the forum.

jimboblep

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

The lad tried to steal some computers. He's not Larry Murphy, for ****s sake.

So theft is ok now

Arthur Beesley

jimboblep wrote: »

So theft is ok now

I think it is dependent on the offenders race for some people.

Hootanany

Don't think so he or his brief gave a plausible story, Judge fell hook line & Sinker for it.
Pity they come down so hard on TV license evaders who get 2 months in the choky.

dar100

This may have happened a few years ago, but, what the hell, it's funny so I'l add it to the mix.

So, this drug dealer from Dublin, holds a very large amount of drugs, hash, coke etc in the apartment he rents. He comes home one day to find the front door open, and the stash of drugs gone missing:)

Not sure what has happened to the drugs, and under pressure to find out from his supplier, he rings the police and reports that his house was broken into haha.

When the police arrive, they arrest him, as it was the police who raided the house a few hours earlier and took the drugs

steddyeddy

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Listen, we all know that politicians are generally assholes. Let's keep that in mind together as we continue to not post about them in every fucking thread on the forum.

Deal and I apologise.

dan1895

dar100 wrote: »

This may have happened a few years ago, but, what the hell, it's funny so I'l add it to the mix.

So, this drug dealer from Dublin, holds a very large amount of drugs, hash, coke etc in the apartment he rents. He comes home one day to find the front door open, and the stash of drugs gone missing:)

Not sure what has happened to the drugs, and under pressure to find out from his supplier, he rings the police and reports that his house was broken into haha.

When the police arrive, they arrest him, as it was the police who raided the house a few hours earlier and took the drugs

Thanked simply for being on topic.

Napper Hawkins

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

I think it is dependent on the offenders race for some people.

Some people, eh?

Do you think someone who steals computers should be afforded the same punishment as a white kidnapper/rapist/suspected murderer because he's black?

That's a tad racist there, sport.

jimboblep wrote: »

So theft is ok now

Herpa derp.

MyStubbleItches

The OP points out the nationality, jump on that before jumping on posters who live in the real world.

Claregirl

http://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/ireland/youths-arrested-by-gardai-investigating-missing-manhole-covers-in-ennis-624311.html

Feckin dangerous idiots:mad:

jimboblep

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Some people, eh?

Do you think someone who steals computers should be afforded the same punishment as a white kidnapper/rapist/suspected murderer because he's black?

That's a tad racist there, sport.



Herpa derp.

excellent well reasoned response :rolleyes:

stmol32

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

The lad tried to steal some computers. He's not Larry Murphy, for ****s sake.

I think my internet computer is broken.
I've read and re-read this five times and I can't seem to find the bit where you say it's OK to steal if the thief is black.

Napper Hawkins

stmol32 wrote: »

I think my internet computer is broken.
I've read and re-read this five times and I can't seem to find the bit where you say it's OK to steal if the thief is black.

I know, right?

Napper Hawkins

jimboblep wrote: »

excellent well reasoned response :rolleyes:

Your post was dumb so I responded in kind. Not once did I imply that I think theft is ok. Not once, but you decided to go there anyway. That's to say nothing of the next genius who tried to imply I was being racist based on nothing.
People who are quick to throw in the racism card are usually the biggest racists themselves.

jimboblep

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Your post was dumb so I responded in kind. Not once did I imply that I think theft is ok. Not once, but you decided to go there anyway. That's to say nothing of the next genius who tried to imply I was being racist based on nothing.
People who are quick to throw in the racism card are usually the biggest racists themselves.

your original statement implied its only a few computers, sure its not as bad as rape, it came across to me as you saying its only a bit of thieving its not that bad
the severity of one crime does not increase or decrease the severity of another
and somone who replys" herpa derpa" really should not be throwing the accusation of dumb post around

Dyr

This genius deserves a mention


http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/gunman-shoots-himself-in-leg-before-bungled-hit-on-cyclist-29529677.html

stmol32

jimboblep wrote: »

your original statement implied its only a few computers, sure its not as bad as rape, it came across to me as you saying its only a bit of thieving its not that bad
the severity of one crime does not increase or decrease the severity of another
and somone who replys" herpa derpa" really should not be throwing the accusation of dumb post around

didn't look that way to me.
It looked to me like :
1) Someone posted a story about a fuctard who damaged himself in a robbery
2) People started posting about how he should have been deported and/or murdered instead of what a twat he was (which I presume was the OP's intention)
3) User responds to this saying calm down with the wild sentencing ideas.
(just conjecturing here but I guess because it was a first offence, he damaged himself and he didn't even succeed in the crime).
4) A user JUMPED on this to kickstart whatever pre-prepared, but completely irrelevant, rant about how you can't say anything about foreigners these days.
5) Just like this poster You also decided to put words in his mouth about how Larry Murphy ... is bad.. because he is a thief? or something, I stopped paying attention by then.
6)No body learned anything about Ireland's dumbest criminals 2014. Once again the ordinary decent people on AH lose out on learning because of the elite PC brigade.

stmol32

Bambi wrote: »

This genius deserves a mention


http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/gunman-shoots-himself-in-leg-before-bungled-hit-on-cyclist-29529677.html

I can't believe I forgot about this, and it was only a few months ago.
I can't wait for the case to come up.

Napper Hawkins

jimboblep wrote: »

your original statement implied its only a few computers, sure its not as bad as rape, it came across to me as you saying its only a bit of thieving its not that bad
the severity of one crime does not increase or decrease the severity of another
and somone who replys" herpa derpa" really should not be throwing the accusation of dumb post around

Maybe think before you quote me and you'll get a more respectful response.

brandon_flowers

http://www.independent.ie/regionals/kerryman/news/wouldbe-robber-foiled-by-voice-27364591.html

It was actually his sister working in the shop.

jimboblep

Napper Hawkins wrote: »

Maybe think before you quote me and you'll get a more respectful response.

think before you post and people may respect your opinion

Napper Hawkins

jimboblep wrote: »

think before you post and people may respect your opinion

It's not my problem if you read into things that aren't there.
Good luck.

Muahahaha

stmol32 wrote: »

I can't believe I forgot about this, and it was only a few months ago.
I can't wait for the case to come up.

The case of the assassin who shot himself in the leg just came up today. He got eight years and a self inflicted gunshot would to the thigh for his troubles. He is going to be the absolute laughing stock of Mountjoy. Step up Thomas Ryan of McKee Avenue, you have just taken the lead in Ireland's Dumbest Criminal 2014 !

http://www.newstalk.ie/Man-who-shot-self-in-botched-assassination-attempt-jailed-eight-years