Funerals in Dublin

Tramps Like Us

I was at a removals/funeral today in Dublin city of a close relative. All the others I've been to have been outside the capital and at these other roadusers have always been very respectful, stopped to let the hearse and the mourners in the cars behind make a turn out onto the main road, when people see a funeral coming they generally just stop everything until the funeral passes etc but today in Dublin the amount of impatient pricks in other cars was unreal, no one would stop to let the hearse out and when eventually someone did they only let the hearse out (it wasnt rush hour, was the afternoon) but not the cars behind meaning that we all got separated, which was an issue because a lot of us didn't know where the church (and later after the mass the graveyard) was and needed to follow the hearse. I only managed to keep up with the hearse and stop people cutting me off with some very aggressive driving. Long story short it meant that only one car actually ended up accompanying the coffin all the way to the church and only a couple from the church to the graveyard which was very sad.

Before we set off I was wondering why were not walking behind the hearse as was the case at the other funerals I've been to (outside Dublin) if we had I reckon the drivers would have gone mad.

Is this typical of funerals in the capital? If not I'm sorry but I left Dublin today with a newfound sense of gratitude and respect for people in my town (its not a small town, 20,000+ people) and the respect the people have for funerals, where people in cars have the patience to show respect and wait the couple of minutes until the funeral passes, walkers stop and look on with unstated sympathy and the procession is one of quiet dignity. I hadn't appreciated what those things meant to me at such a difficult time, their absence today was sorely missed and added an extra level of stress (people getting lost etc, had to ring and give directions) to an already hard day.

(also there was no wake and the removal was from a funeral home rather than the deceased's home, is this the norm in Dublin?)

What is your experience of funerals in Dublin vs funerals outside of it? Is my experience today typical of a Dublin funeral in terms of the other roadusers?

Legs.Eleven

Bloody Dubs! :mad::mad:

MadsL

Dublin is a major city with a delicate balance of traffic issues. Is it is not disrespectful to inflict major delays on people for a funeral?

Frankly I find Irish attitudes to when someone dies a bit over the top. The world and his wife are expected to attend both removal and funeral. Could everyone not calm down a bit?

Amirani

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

I left Dublin today with a newfound sense of gratitude and respect for people in my town (its not a small town, 20,000+ people)

That is a small town. The Dublin urban area has well over a million people, there's a considerable difference.

biko

I would like the world to stop for a while when I die, far away in the future.

major bill

Where abouts was the Funeral OP??

City centre can be dodgy as it is chaos at times.

Tramps Like Us

major bill wrote: »

Where abouts was the Funeral OP??

City centre can be dodgy as it is chaos at times.

Wasn't actually the city center was out near Santry

I'm not having a go at Dubs, I like Dublin its just that I found people more respectful and funerals "better" outside of it

major bill

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

Wasn't actually the city center was out near Santry

I refer to Legs Eleven's post so.

Stavros Murphy

That happened when my Da was being driven on the one-way-ride. I strongly wanted a gun in the car. There would definitely have been a few more funerals to delay the fcukers on their urgent business.

Legs.Eleven

major bill wrote: »

I refer to Legs Eleven's post so.

Bloody North Dubs! :mad::mad:

Augmerson

Wouldn't expect any different in Dublin.

McCrack

Sorry for your trouble OP but I can't see your point.

Dublin is far far busier than any rural town to allow for the kind of thing you get in small towns. There's also anonymity in Dublin that you don't have in small towns. It's not that people in Dublin are less respectful its just the dynamic of it all.

Tramps Like Us

McCrack wrote: »

Sorry for your trouble OP but I can't see your point.

Dublin is far far busier than any rural town to allow for the kind of thing you get in small towns. There's also anonymity in Dublin that you don't have in small towns. It's not that people in Dublin are less respectful its just the dynamic of it all.

Is stopping for a minute or two (not even) to let a funeral procession go ahead of you/make a turn really too much of an imposition? I mean its someones last journey

Amirani

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

Is stopping for a minute or two (not even) to let a funeral procession go ahead of you/make a turn really too much of an imposition? I mean its someones last journey

They don't notice the difference.

Menas

Dubs are slaves to traffic and the thought of been behind a 20 car procession is enough to push some of them over the edge.

MadsL

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

its someones last journey

They should have left earlier

Tramps Like Us

Thats real funny. Good man.

Menas

There was a thread on here a few months ago where someone was giving out about been stuck behind a funeral procession. He passed them out and gave them the finger.
Some AH'ers agreed with him.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=86916846&postcount=119

Now that is disrespectful in my opinion.

McCrack

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

Is stopping for a minute or two (not even) to let a funeral procession go ahead of you/make a turn really too much of an imposition? I mean its someones last journey

To be honest it probably is for some people. It is the capital and its busy on the streets. It's always going to be difficult to keep up with any vehicle in Dublin with the volume of traffic and constant traffic lights.

There was no wake! Sure I wouldn't be bothered going if there wasn't going to be a long alcohol fuelled wake after.
Other road users can't be expected to know if the hearse has a long procession of mourners in cars behind it.
I will be making it clear to everyone that I want the hearse to at least get a speeding ticket for me and lose as many followers as possible on the journey from the morgue to the crematorium.

billie1b

I must be a freak then, from Dublin, I stop, turn my radio down, let them out, tell the kids to shut up and bless myself when the funeral car is passing. This is like 2nd nature to me, whether im in Dublin or the country

The_Gatsby

I think it's a bit ridiculous for you to expect people to stop. It's sad that someone close to you has died and everyone is sorry for your loss but you can't expect the world to stop for someone they didn't even know.

It frustrates me slightly even in my town of about 30'000 when people are walking down the road behind the hearse. Not to the point that I drive by and give them the finger but I think it's a bit selfish to presume people don't mind stopping for you to follow your dead relative up the road at 5km/h.

TheBlock

Tradition in Ringsend is to be carried over the bridge. This stops traffic in both directions for about 10 mins and is often facilitated by Irishtown Gardaí. Bearing in mind that this is at 5-15 - 5.30pm this doesn't cause as much hassle as you would think. I think it's a great tradition and long may it continue.

Tramps Like Us

billie1b wrote: »

I must be a freak then, from Dublin, I stop, turn my radio down, let them out, tell the kids to shut up and bless myself when the funeral car is passing. This is like 2nd nature to me, whether im in Dublin or the country

I'm the same, had assumed most people were like this which is why I got a bit of a shock today and got annoyed because as you say its second nature- everyone to a man is like that down the country anyway, even the Gardaí usually stop and help with keeping the road clear for the funeral.

Now that is overkill but I dont think its too much to expect people to let a funeral procession go ahead, or at the very least not split the procession off from the hearse.

Ihatecuddles

At my uncles funeral we walked behind the hearse from the funeral home. It was up Dundrum main street so was fairly busy. No cars seemed to mind but that was the last thing on my mind so I wouldn't have noticed if they were looking annoyed.

Citygirl1

Hi Op. I’m also from the country originally, where I’ve been to many funerals, but have lived in Dublin a number of years, and have been to a few Dublin funerals.

I think you have to realise that Dublin is a relatively large city, and traffic, particularly at rush hour, is a chronic problem. Every day there are hold ups on the major routes, due to minor collisions, weather events, road works, and just large volumes of traffic. Most rush hour commuters are under pressure, and simply cannot afford to hold up the traffic further to let in more than one or two cars at a time. The vehicles behind simply wouldn’t see what was going on, and horns would be blown etc.

It is also very naïve to drive into Dublin without any clear directions, maps or sat nav, to assist. You simply cannot rely upon following another car along an extended route. With traffic lights, roundabouts, motorway slip roads, etc, this is just dangerous driving. With all your “aggressive driving” it is lucky you did not cause a serious accident. I say this from experience of a Dublin funeral I attended years ago. We had a near miss on a major roundabout, when myfather was attempting to follow a relative’s car.


In general, I would agree that funerals in Dublin are quite a different experience than down the country. The crowds are so much smaller, and only close relatives and friends go to the funeral home to see the body. Funeral homes are the norm. People seem to also need to hire expensive chauffeur driven limos, whichis unheard of in the country.

MadsL

TheBlock wrote: »

Tradition in Ringsend is to be carried over the bridge.

Da fuck? Why?

Just when I thought I'd heard all the over the top 'traditions'. I cannot understand the three fecking days of nonsense just to shove someone in a box.

major bill

MadsL wrote: »

Da fuck? Why?

Just when I thought I'd heard all the over the top 'traditions'. I cannot understand the three fecking days of nonsense just to shove someone in a box.

It's not like the person in the box is going to Australia...it's their last journey in this world.

Amirani

major bill wrote: »

It's not like the person in the box is going to Australia...it's their last journey in this world.

Nah, they already made their last journey. It's their corpse's last journey.

Augmerson

MadsL wrote: »

Da fuck? Why?

Just when I thought I'd heard all the over the top 'traditions'. I cannot understand the three fecking days of nonsense just to shove someone in a box.

I hope when the end comes for you, you are literally shoved in a box, and so no commuters or other road users are inconvenienced, just left there wherever it happens to be.

TheBlock

MadsL wrote: »

Da fuck? Why?

Just when I thought I'd heard all the over the top 'traditions'. I cannot understand the three fecking days of nonsense just to shove someone in a box.

Don't really know why it's just always been that way. The hearse (usually coming from St Vincents) stops at South Lotts Road where mourners usually gather, friends and family then take turns carrying the coffin over Ringsend bridge while the church bells ring.

MadsL

major bill wrote: »

It's not like the person in the box is going to Australia...it's their last journey in this world.

By all means have a funeral, but funerals in Ireland require more effort than weddings.

Off work early to attend the removal, then there's the wake, then a day off work for the funeral.

Half the people there actually don't know the deceased personally, and employers are giving people 5-6 days a year off just to go to fecking funerals.

It's a bit obsessive don't you think?

major bill

MadsL wrote: »

By all means have a funeral, but funerals in Ireland require more effort than weddings.

Off work early to attend the removal, then there's the wake, then a day off work for the funeral.

Half the people there actually don't know the deceased personally, and employers are giving people 5-6 days a year off just to go to fecking funerals.

It's a bit obsessive don't you think?

ye gotta love the sessions though....some of the best nights in the local have been funerals.

MadsL

Augmerson wrote: »

I hope when the end comes for you, you are literally shoved in a box, and so no commuters or other road users are inconvenienced, just left there wherever it happens to be.

Why would I care? I'll be dead.

MadsL

major bill wrote: »

ye gotta love the sessions though....some of the best nights in the local have been funerals.

And there is nothing slightly sick about that? At one wake the lad nearly got carried to the local for a pint, coffin and all.

anncoates

Trigger Happy wrote: »

There was a thread on here a few months ago where someone was giving out about been stuck behind a funeral procession. He passed them out and gave them the finger.
Some AH'ers agreed with him.

Now that is disrespectful in my opinion.

Deserves to be chased and battered for that.

Tramps Like Us

TheBlock wrote: »

Tradition in Ringsend is to be carried over the bridge. This stops traffic in both directions for about 10 mins and is often facilitated by Irishtown Gardaí. Bearing in mind that this is at 5-15 - 5.30pm this doesn't cause as much hassle as you would think. I think it's a great tradition and long may it continue.

Thats nice. I think its a great thing to give people a good sendoff, aside from the deceased it is good for the family and friends

SimonQuinlank

All our family walked behind my grandmothers hearse from her house beside Bushy Park down to Josephs church near Rathgar when she passed a few years ago.Was about 3pm and every motorist was respectful.Was a Garda walking in front and behind us though.

I was surprised that people we were allowed to do it in the first place though,always thought it was more of a rural thing.

wil

MadsL wrote: »

Why would I care? I'll be dead.

Condolences you silver tongued divil, sorry cant make it;)

BTW is it insinkerator or composting? (you know - for the card)

MadsL

wil wrote: »

Condolences you silver tongued divil, sorry cant make it;)

BTW is it insinkerator or composting? (you know - for the card)

Best be insinkerator as it is awfully dry out here. I'll take a decent pyre if anyone fancies a bonfire.

Tramps Like Us

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

If not I'm sorry but I left Dublin today with a newfound sense of gratitude and respect for people in my town (its not a small town, 20,000+ people) and the respect the people have for funerals, where people in cars have the patience to show respect and wait the couple of minutes until the funeral passes, walkers stop and look on with unstated sympathy and the procession is one of quiet dignity.

I live in Dublin, and that would happen in my town, and the next, and maybe the next, and possibly the next. But as you get closer to the city centre it's just not a realistic option. There's a huge volume of already mismanaged traffic, there are many many more deaths per week due to the higher population, there's a higher likelihood that people are going somewhere important, and quite frankly the cost of showing that kind of respect is too high, it just wouldn't be realistic.

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

Wasn't actually the city center was out near Santry

Santry traffic can be really terrible though, so on an ordinary day people are already held up.

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

Is stopping for a minute or two (not even) to let a funeral procession go ahead of you/make a turn really too much of an imposition? I mean its someones last journey

Yes, it is an imposition. People on their way to job interviews that could define their future. People with children to collect. It's not just a load of people trying to get to the cinema on time or wanting to get home quicker. People are living their lives, and while I think traditions are an important and therapeutic part of saying goodbye to someone, I do think that letting living people get on with their lives is more important than getting a hearse through the lights first. The funeral/burial isn't going to begin without the coffin, but people's lives will pass them by if the entirety of a city is held stationary by the many funerals that occur every day. According to the link below, there's seven pages of names of people that have died in Dublin in the last week alone. Can you not imagine the amount of people affected if the traffic slowed to a near halt for each and every funeral? Even one traffic blockage can wreak havoc on larger areas for the entire day in Dublin.

http://www.rip.ie/Deathnotices/?Surname=&county=10&town=All&DateFrom=22%2F01%2F2014&DateTo=30%2F01%2F2014&search=SEARCH

Cian92

MadsL wrote: »

Da fuck? Why?

Just when I thought I'd heard all the over the top 'traditions'. I cannot understand the three fecking days of nonsense just to shove someone in a box.

It's three days to allow the bereaved to grieve.

MadsL wrote: »

By all means have a funeral, but funerals in Ireland require more effort than weddings.

Off work early to attend the removal, then there's the wake, then a day off work for the funeral.

Half the people there actually don't know the deceased personally, and employers are giving people 5-6 days a year off just to go to fecking funerals.

It's a bit obsessive don't you think?

I'm afraid I would have to disagree with you. The whole process puts a bit of finality to the situation, and formalises the grieving. If you know the deceased or the bereaved it is important to show up and pay your last respects. It shows the bereaved you were thinking of them.

When ever I have been bereaved I would have to say that the appearance of many friends who would have not really known the deceased was quite comforting.

I've never been to a funeral in Dublin, but I would be shocked if somebody didn't let the funeral pass. It would takes no more than 5 minutes of your time to allow for the funeral to pass. Even for city funerals in Cork, people would let the hearse pass on leaving the funeral home.

"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come"

Tramps Like Us

true-or-false wrote: »

I live in Dublin, and that would happen in my town, and the next, and maybe the next, and possibly the next. But as you get closer to the city centre it's just not a realistic option. There's a huge volume of already mismanaged traffic, there are many many more deaths per week due to the higher population, there's a higher likelihood that people are going somewhere important, and quite frankly the cost of showing that kind of respect is too high, it just wouldn't be realistic.


Santry traffic can be really terrible though, so on an ordinary day people are already held up.


Yes, it is an imposition. People on their way to job interviews that could define their future. People with children to collect. It's not just a load of people trying to get to the cinema on time or wanting to get home quicker. People are living their lives, and while I think traditions are an important and therapeutic part of saying goodbye to someone, I do think that letting living people get on with their lives is more important than getting a hearse through the lights first. The funeral/burial isn't going to begin without the coffin, but people's lives will pass them by if the entirety of a city is held stationary by the many funerals that occur every day. According to the link below, there's seven pages of names of people that have died in Dublin in the last week alone. Can you not imagine the amount of people affected if the traffic slowed to a near halt for each and every funeral? Even one traffic blockage can wreak havoc on larger areas for the entire day in Dublin.

http://www.rip.ie/Deathnotices/?Surname=&county=10&town=All&DateFrom=22%2F01%2F2014&DateTo=30%2F01%2F2014&search=SEARCH

Thats true in every part of the country, even in Belfast or Cork people tend to stop (certainly at the funerals I was at in Belfast)

riffmongous

I think city driving really brings out the worst in people OP

MadsL wrote: »

Da fuck? Why?

Just when I thought I'd heard all the over the top 'traditions'. I cannot understand the three fecking days of nonsense just to shove someone in a box.

Well if your attitude to bereavement is 'shoving someone into a box' then I'm not surprised you don't understand it. Some people want time to say goodbye to their friends and loved ones and just because you don't doesn't make it nonsense :rolleyes:

nxbyveromdwjpg

Why isn't this in the Dublin forum?

Tramps Like Us

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

Thats true in every part of the country, even in Belfast or Cork people tend to stop (certainly at the funerals I was at in Belfast)

Yes, it is. That doesn't give a reason for why it should happen in the city centre of Dublin. If people stop, it's nice. It shows sympathy for the bereaved and a respect for the dead. But if someone judges themselves as having something more pressing to do, that's their business and I don't think they should be criticised for that.

At that, Belfast and Cork do not have the same situation as Dublin. Firstly, Dublin has a ridiculous traffic system that is difficult to get through at best. Secondly, Belfast has a much lower population density to Dublin (almost half). Thirdly, while Cork's population density is not wildly lower than Dublin's, the population itself is about a quarter of Dublin's (Wikipedia). I'm not saying people shouldn't stop, I'm just saying that they shouldn't have to. There's a difference between not stopping to show respect, and showing disrespect.

Ihatecuddles

nm wrote: »

Why isn't this in the Dublin forum?

They won't let it in, its too busy.

TheBlock

nm wrote: »

Why isn't this in the Dublin forum?

Because a lot of the posters are from elsewhere?

MadsL

Cian92 wrote: »

I'm afraid I would have to disagree with you. The whole process puts a bit of finality to the situation, and formalises the grieving. If you know the deceased or the bereaved it is important to show up and pay your last respects. It shows the bereaved you were thinking of them.

I'm not against funerals - just the removal/wake palaver.

When ever I have been bereaved I would have to say that the appearance of many friends who would have not really known the deceased was quite comforting.

Not sure why if they didn't even know them...

stinkle

I grew up very close to the city centre. Any time a neighbour dies everyone walks behind the hearse to the church. Its a bit awkward if there's an evening removal cos the church is at a busy junction and its usually rush hour but drivers respect it for the few mins it takes. People are still waked round here too. Having said that, I'd say most city drivers would give way to the hearse and limos only on the way to the cemetery,it being fairly obvious where they're going. Might not be so obvious that every random car in the vicinity is part of the funeral procession.

Ive been to many Dublin funerals where the cemetery isn't all that close to the church and so it'd be impossible to drive at a snail's pace from one end of the city to another (eg my granny was buried in glasnevin, but from ballyfermot). So it makes sense to figure out how to get there without relying on following the hearse.

Cian92

MadsL wrote: »

Not sure why if they didn't even know them...

It shows that you are thinking of the bereaved in their time of need.

I was thinking more about this, and I remember one very misfortunate removal, the deceased was quite young. The removal was held in the family home, and the parking got so bad that people were parking about 2 miles away from the house and walking the rest. A local mini bus driver started ferrying people from the village to the house and back again to try and ease congestion (no charge, just out of the goodness of his heart). The local residents living there had to spend about 45 minutes to travel about 3 miles to leave their houses, and there wasn't a single complaint. I can't understand how 5 minutes for the people of our capital is such an inconvenience.