If I have to come up those stairs...

AskMyChocolate

...and I swear there'll be wigs on the green.

So AHers, with the exception of the wooden spoon, what was your parents' direst threat?

HeidiHeidi

My mother didn't only threaten the wooden spoon.......

BanAllFirearms

Say one more word and I'll blow your brains out!
Very scary having a gun pointed at you
So much senseless violence going on in todays world because of firearms

stefan idiot jones

BanAllFirearms wrote: »

Say one more word and I'll blow your brains out!
Very scary having a gun pointed at you
So much senseless violence going on in todays world because of firearms

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sir Arthur Daley

If you dont behave ill turn off the wifi.

stefan idiot jones

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

...and I swear there'll be wigs on the green.

So AHers, with the exception of the wooden spoon, what was your parents' direst threat?

You little fcuker, I'll kick your cnut in if I hear another fcuking peep out of you. Now go to bed.

BanAllFirearms

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Are you tired?
Maybe you should go to bed but don't forget to keep a firearm under your pillow incase an intruder tries to break into your home while your sleeping

dpofloinn

No words used just the ominious sound of the wooden spoon being rattled across the balusters struck the fear of god into us when we were kids

Sir Arthur Daley

BanAllFirearms wrote: »

Are you tired?
Maybe you should go to bed but don't forget to keep a firearm under your pillow incase an intruder tries to break into your home while your sleeping

So you are advocating the use of a firearm? :rolleyes:

BanAllFirearms

WikiHow wrote: »

So you are advocating the use of a firearm? :rolleyes:

No I wouldn't recommend using a firearm at all I think a baseball bat is a more suitable weapon for home defence purposes

recylingbin

whigs, not wigs.

AlanMcC23

My mother used to count to 3 but it always went 1...2...2 and a half....2 and three quarters but byjaysus we never let it go to 3 or the wooden spoon be out in a flash

Super-Rush

Don't make me come up there and talk to you about sex.

david75

I brought you into this world, I'll take you out!!

Followed quickly by wooden spoons.

Who even cooks with them? They're on sale just to hit kids.

Sir Arthur Daley

david75 wrote: »

Who even cooks with them? They're on sale just to hit kids.

I use them all the time to cook, alot safer dont conduct the heat like metal ones, think health and safety.

AlanMcC23

Super-Rush wrote: »

Don't make me come up there and talk to you about sex.

Never got that one now thank god

angelfire9

How has no one mentioned the Irish mammy's favourite....

Just wait til your father comes home... Just you wait!!

david75

WikiHow wrote: »

I use them all the time to cook, alot safer dont conduct the heat like metal ones, think health and safety.

Wooden spoons and health and safety?

You serious?

Generations of Irish kids would question the health and safety aspect

Sir Arthur Daley

david75 wrote: »

Wooden spoons and health and safety?

You serious?

Generations of Irish kids would question the health and safety aspect

Health and safety in the kitchen for cooking, i dont condone the use of wooden spoons for voilence.

david75

WikiHow wrote: »

Health and safety in the kitchen for cooking, i dont condone the use of wooden spoons for voilence.

Where were you when we all needed you?

dpofloinn

the-enemy2.jpg

Sir Arthur Daley

david75 wrote: »

Where were you when we all needed you?

Is voilence with wooden spoons a serious an common issue?

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

angelfire9 wrote: »

How has no one mentioned the Irish mammy's favourite....

Just wait til your father comes home... Just you wait!!

We waited. And waited. And waited. Still hasn't showed. I'm 26 now

dpofloinn

Wooden spoon related retribution is on the decline but has been replaced by an unsustainable level of naughty step based retribution

Senna

I'd take the wooden spoon over the "I'm very disappointed in you" talk.

AskMyChocolate

stefan idiot jones wrote: »

You little fcuker, I'll kick your cnut in if I hear another fcuking peep out of you. Now go to bed.

Chuckling :pac:

catallus

recylingbin wrote: »

whigs, not wigs.

My first instinct was to think the same thing but it appears that the Whigs approach is a folk etymology; difficult to affirm because the term seems to be entirely Irish and a quick check online appears to relegate the entire saying as being almost extinct!

As for wooden spoons, I vividly recall three of them being broken on me. Didn't hurt, iirc, they must have been cheap yokes. Ah, the memories :rolleyes:

FanadMan

From about 11 years old, myself and my brother were at least about a foot taller than our mum so threats didn't seem to take proper effect. Even if she slapped us, we'd just piss ourselves laughing.

My father on the other hand...........still smaller than us but scary as fvck!

AskMyChocolate

recylingbin wrote: »

whigs, not wigs.

Really? I take it neither of your parents are barristers. Probably too busy wearing David Lloyd-George as a hat. :pac:

Mickey H

david75 wrote: »

I brought you into this world, I'll take you out!!

Followed quickly by wooden spoons.

Who even cooks with them? They're on sale just to hit kids.

Nigella Lawson does.

dpofloinn wrote: »

Wooden spoon related retribution is on the decline but has been replaced by an unsustainable level of naughty step based retribution

The naughty step should be replaced with a flying shoe in the hole.

Chattastrophe!

I vividly remember my dad whacking me round the legs with a hoover!

The funny thing is he's the sweetest little old man, he mellowed out so much as my younger siblings came along. I don't agree with him doing it, but don't have any hard feelings about it.

The wooden spoon was also used in our house - mostly by my mother - not always just as a threat. Again, it doesn't bother me that it happened, but I'd never in a million years consider doing it myself.

Arthur Beesley

BanAllFirearms wrote: »

Say one more word and I'll blow your brains out!
Very scary having a gun pointed at you
So much senseless violence going on in todays world because of firearms

Your parents threatened you with a loaded gun?

What did you do to deserve that?

SamAK

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you"

Cee-Jay-Cee

We didn't have stairs so my mum used to say 'If this wasn't a bungalow and we had stairs and I had to come up the stairs to reprimand you then you will be sorry you behaved in such a way as to require me to come up the stairs, we don't actually have.

mad muffin

SamAK wrote: »

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you with my wooden spoon"

Fixed

MadsL

Arthur Beesley wrote: »

Your parents threatened you with a loaded gun?

What did you do to deserve that?

He said "what"...

Filibuster

We got the wet dishcloth in our house ;(

stop animal cruelty

when my brother use to be at me, my dad use always say "tell come down here to me and il break his fcuking arse" :L

Miss Lockhart

"I'll annihilate you with a blow" was my mother's favourite threat. My father just went ahead with the punishment and called you names (tramp, cúnt, bastard etc) as he did it. Wooden spoons never featured but belts did.

bockeys jollocks

"When I get my hands on you, i'll rip your leg off you then kick the head off you with your own foot, you fat bóllocks" even though I was thin!?!

mad muffin

My parents would threaten me with the priest.

Don't make me call father McBoyfiddler, they would say.

Bounty Hunter Dan

"No Xtra-vision money this weekend!"


Doh!

mitosis

"Do that again and I'll knock you into the middle of next week"

Stained Class

My parents used to say that if I misbehaved 'the bogyman' would get me.

These days, if my kids step outa line, I threaten to sell them on ebay.

Gotta keep up with the times.

Gannicus

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

...and I swear there'll be wigs on the green.

So AHers, with the exception of the wooden spoon, what was your parents' direst threat?

Bryan..... Is that you?

Red Kev

"Behave or I'll sell you to the tinkers!"

Can't say it these days as it's not PC etc etc etc.....:mad:

angelfire9 wrote: »

How has no one mentioned the Irish mammy's favourite....

Just wait til your father comes home... Just you wait!!

My mother would say that to us when Dad was at work, he'd come home, she'd head out on the nightshift and any nonsense would be met by........
"Wait till I tell your mother, she'll go through you when she gets home!"

:pac:

Gannicus

mitosis wrote: »

"Do that again and I'll knock you into the middle of next week"

I got that or:

"You'll be smiling on the other side of your face."

"Wait and I tell your father when he gets in"


My ma used her slipper. I took them one day and hid them in the freezer. She fund them when she went to cook the dinner one day and one of them was bent in half to fit it the freezer drawer. she tried to straighten it and it pure snapped in half. No Commodre 64 for a week. Was heart broken.

kowloon

david75 wrote: »

I brought you into this world, I'll take you out!!

Followed quickly by wooden spoons.

Who even cooks with them? They're on sale just to hit kids.

I always worried that the same spoon that was hitting me on the arse was being used to cook later.

Ruu

Stained Class wrote: »

My parents used to say that if I misbehaved 'the bogyman' would get me.

These days, if my kids step outa line, I threaten to sell them on ebay.

Gotta keep up with the times.

Yes Bogeyman or old man neighbour that lived up the road that we were terrified of.

I recall someone posting that they got a crack on the backside with a wooden spoon so hard that it broke in half, laughed it off until Mammy got a metal one...

Standard Toaster

"If I have to come up those stairs..."


Used to scare the bejayus outta us as kids.
Not so much the impending hiding we were about to receive, but the fact we lived in a bungalow......

Nippledragon

Cut out that jig-actin' or i'll redden your hole for ya

Don't(smack)….do(smack)…that(smack)….again(smack) :parents had a great sense of rhythm back in the day :pac:

To be honest nothing wrong with a clip around the lugs, too many nowadays haven't gotten half enough to keep them in check