What's your cooking confession?

Faith

Welcome to confession, children of the unforgiving cooking god!

What is your cooking confession? Do you have one? Can you do everything in the kitchen bar boil an egg? Do you unfailingly burn toast? Maybe you can't cook pasta to save your life?

Mine is that I never make gravies or sauces from scratch . I'll make a gorgeous roast dinner and serve it with Bisto, or do fillet steak with packet pepper sauce. I just never bothered to learn how to make them properly, and actually if I was ever do a cooking course, I'd want to do one on sauces. Also, my OH thinks packet sauces etc are perfect, so I've not had the incentive to learn over the last few years.

So don't leave me hanging, share your confessions here!

I should add, there's no judgement in this thread! And please only offer advice if someone explicitly asks for it

Dizzyblonde

Me too! In decades of cooking, I've only ever made white sauce once. I use Knorr white sauce with grated cheese in it for my lasagne. I made onion gravy last week but reckon I'll go back to Bisto gravy with sautéed onion in it in future. I serve Bisto gravies with all my roasts

I made my own stock once too and I didn't like it so I always use stock cubes.

huskerdu

I cannot make good pancakes. I think its the only cooking / baking skill that I have tried and practised and never got right.

I even cracked yorkshire puddings recently thanks to Tom Kerridge, but decent pancakes elude me.

pampootie

I think Aromat is the seasoning of the gods

MissFlitworth

I love food. I could talk about it, shop for it, read about it and eat it all the live long day. Cooking I can take or leave most of the time! Especially during the week or if I am narky. I'd live off scrambled eggs & toast Monday to Thursday if I could. Some parts of cooking, the fiddly or repetitive ones, like chopping garlic and dealing with the mess afterwards genuinely bake my beans.

When food loving buddies say things like 'Why would anyone buy a takeout/microwave meal/pot noodle when it's so EASY to just whip it up at home, it's just laziness!!' I sort of half heartedly nod along because I have regularly had a bag of onion rings (frozen, not Johnny) for dinner

Toast4532

I can't boil or poach eggs Well, I can boil them, but they always go hard and I can't stand hard boiled eggs. Eww. I have a poaching saucepan that I use for doing them with soft yolks, without that I wouldn't get soft yolks.

Sauces are usually packet sauce, I know everyone goes on about how bad they are, how false the flavouring is etc, but I generally only use a small amount. Gravy is bisto.

ElleEm

When I am cooking for me and my boyfriend, I double dip the spoon!!

Roesy

I'll try weird, complicated and fancy recipes but I've never turned my hand to making a roast. Maybe it's the many over cooked roasts I was fed during my childhood that put me off. Our baby is 10 weeks old and before she was born myself and my husband used to joke that we couldn't become parents until we learned how to do a nice roast chicken I was 10 days overdue so got around to roasting a couple of birds while waiting for our own little chick to arrive. Next stop roast beef!!!

Toast4532

Roesy wrote: »

Maybe it's the many over cooked roasts I was fed during my childhood that put me off.

This is what put me off roast dinners for years. My mother always over cooks roasts. Recently I cooked roast beef and as it was only a small piece it needed to be cooking for 1 hour, my mother refused to eat it in case it wasn't cooked.

As I tried to cook it to her tastes, it ended up overcooked. Never again.

She doesn't always eat the roast chicken I cook either, in case she gets food poisoning and when she does eat them, she's never sick. But yet sometimes she won't eat them 'just in case' :rolleyes:

Pang

I can't poach an egg in just water. I have tried so many times and failed. I've looked up all the so called tricks and still nothing.

I finally gave in a few months back and just bought a poaching pan.:(

fussyonion

I'm pretty good in the kitchen, but I make a lot of comfort food, homely dishes.
Spaghetti Bolognese, lasagne, stir-fries, curries, stews, roasts etc.
I can make a lot of dinners from scratch and I love a new recipe BUT I am hopeless at doing eggs.

Probably the simplest food in the world yet I have no idea how to boil an egg (I mean, I KNOW you boil it but for how long?!) or poach one and when I attempt to fry one, it's either undercooked or overcooked.

It doesn't bother me, not knowing, as I'm not a big fan of eggs anyway, but people find it amusing that I can cook so many nice dishes from scratch, yet when it comes to eggs, I'm hopeless.

I'm also atrocious at cooking steak. It's either burnt or raw.
My boyfriend is the best at cooking steaks.

Merkin

I still haven't mastered a perfect consistency panna cotta! :mad:

frostyjacks

I like to throw a slice of bread in the frying pan after a full Irish, soak up all the grease. Tastes like heaven sent.

Lovely Bloke

I thaw and re-freeze stuff all the time, hasn't affected me in any way *twitch*

I can't poach an egg properly, despite trying about a hundred different methods.

Lovely Bloke

frostyjacks wrote: »

I like to throw a slice of bread in the frying pan after a full Irish, soak up all the grease. Tastes like heaven sent.

Fried bread was a staple in my house growing up when my mam was away.

I love it.

carolinespring

scrambled egg is always a bit hit or miss, well mainly miss!!! It should be so bloody easy to do

The Sweeper

I can't make mayonnaise. It never emulsifies. It just splits and I end up with split eggy looking oil. I've wasted more eggs and oil than I care to admit. Every time I have leftover egg yolks from a recipe I try it, and every single goddamn time I fail. I try a different way every time too, so it's not repeatedly trying the wrong recipe. Mayo failo. That's me.

Animord

I can't poach eggs either. When I try I end up with two lonely looking yolks on the toast, with all the whites left behind, usually welded to the bottom of the saucepan.

Princess Peach

I pride myself on my brilliant eggs, tell people I make great scrambled, poached, baked eggs, how would you like them, and just hope nobody says fried! I can not fry a good egg, always comes out a weird shape and either over or under cooked.

So if someone does say they want a fried egg I tell them I could make them something more complicated for a treat :pac:

Gloomtastic!

Bad poached eggs? Use the smallest pan, add some vinegar and stir water well before adding eggs.

Cooking confession? Trying to rack my brains for any but I think I'm faultless!

dee_mc

I'm another failure at poaching eggs! I've resorted to using the little 'poachie' pouch things, not the same but at least I end up with a soft yolk and don't lose all the white like I do whenever I try to cook them properly!
I've tried using a drop of vinegar and it does improve matters slightly but I can detect the vinegar taste and I hate it

spurious

I put tomato sauce (ketchup) in almost every beef dish I cook.

MissFlitworth

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

Bad poached eggs? Use the smallest pan, add some vinegar and stir water well before adding eggs.

Tried it, still end up with wet egg spaghetti circling a yolk. I am almost good at boiling eggs now but open up this page every time I try to do it, it's my lucky egg talisman. Can't poach or fry, those are eggs I only eat out.

hattoncracker

pampootie wrote: »

I think Aromat is the seasoning of the gods

SAME!!!

I can't make mashed potato properly...

I don't know what it is! But it just never turns out correctly! I think I need to read up on boiling potatoes correctly!

dee_mc

hattoncracker wrote: »

SAME!!!

I can't make mashed potato properly...

I didn't master mashed potatoes until recently! I never knew the difference because I don't eat them, but apparently my mistake was failing to dry them out before mashing... so now I let them dry over a low heat and give them an occasional shake to prevent them burning to the bottom of the pot... absolute revelation! Fluffy mash every time! (I realise this isn't news to most people but I was doing it wrong for nearly 20 years, doh!)

dipdip

I once pooped in a saucepan.

dipdip

Damn autocorrect!

That should have said, I sometimes use sauce from a jar on home made pizza.

Mrs Fox

dipdip wrote: »

I once pooped in a saucepan.

Toilet too far?

Gloomtastic!

MissFlitworth wrote: »

Tried it, still end up with wet egg spaghetti circling a yolk. I am almost good at boiling eggs now but open up this page every time I try to do it, it's my lucky egg talisman. Can't poach or fry, those are eggs I only eat out.

Used to be the same until I heard somewhere about the smallest pan suggestion. Made all the difference.

Mrs Fox

I'm disastrous at heating food in the microwave -- I either nuke them to death, or they're still cold in parts. Never get them just right.

the beer revolu

I can rarely be arsed making a dessert - even when we have people around.

ElleEm

the beer revolu wrote: »

I can rarely be arsed making a dessert - even when we have people around.

I could happily ONLY make desserts. I love to cook, and will often plan a meal by deciding what dessert I will do first.

Senecio

I use one of these for all my roasts. It has never failed.

http://www.bbqtalk.co.uk/weber-style-digital-talking-thermometer

I feel like a cheat but I'd rather that than dry, over cooked meat.

gg2

Cannot boil potatoes for the life of me. Always shout for someone to see if they are cooked.

Markcheese

Pang wrote: »

I can't poach an egg in just water. I have tried so many times and failed. I've looked up all the so called tricks and still nothing.

I finally gave in a few months back and just bought a poaching pan.:(

Now that you have a poaching pan you can try the real way and succeed...(leaving your expensive pan to clutter )
Barely boil the water in a 1/3 to 1/2 full pot(not pan) add a splash of vinegar (nothing too colourful) bring hear down a tad so water is barely moving ...
Now crack a fresh egg (they go watery in fridge) and open it just above the water(ie don't drop from a height ) . Get your slotted spoon and if necessary
gather the white a bit... Remove onto a bit of kitchen paper.. Then onto your toast...start with 1 egg .. In no time you'll flying it ....

Markcheese

The Sweeper wrote: »

I can't make mayonnaise. It never emulsifies. It just splits and I end up with split eggy looking oil. I've wasted more eggs and oil than I care to admit. Every time I have leftover egg yolks from a recipe I try it, and every single goddamn time I fail. I try a different way every time too, so it's not repeatedly trying the wrong recipe. Mayo failo. That's me.

2 good cheats a friend gave me , one before you start drizzling in the oil stick in a dab of mustard then beat the crap out of it and start drizzling the oil in .. Or two while you're whisking the yolks add some very hot water , oil goes in easier,
And it's easier with a stand mixer
That said I haven't made Mayo in years

johnnyskeleton

I put whiskey and cinnamon in a lot of food (not just deserts, main courses!) partially because it tastes nice but also to see if anyone notices!

In re: poaching an egg, crack the egg into a cup or glass, then slide it into boiling water as quickly as you can. Small pans, vinegar, barely boiling etc are mostly irrelevant.

Princess Peach

I could watch cooking shows all day long, have probably spent hundreds of hours watching them over the years but I'd say I've cooked something I've seen on a show maybe twice in my life if at all.

Merkin

I'm pretty good with eggs but can not master how to do an egg in a microwave. We don't have one at home but I have breakfast at work and so far my attempts at cooking an egg in a cup has resulted in exploding egg which invariably makes a loud bang and results in remnants of sad and pulverized egg flying east and west.

Padraig Mor

Faith wrote: »

Mine is that I never make gravies or sauces from scratch . I'll make a gorgeous roast dinner and serve it with Bisto, or do fillet steak with packet pepper sauce. I just never bothered to learn how to make them properly, and actually if I was ever do a cooking course, I'd want to do one on sauces.

A bit like me (although I'm not too bad for sauces) - I usually go 75% of the way to a great homemade dinner, but not quite all the way. So I'll do some lovely rare fillet steaks with fried mushrooms and onions topped with a homemade pepper and Armagnac sauce.......and put Aldi oven chips on the side. Or maybe some juicy lamb fillets with some cheesy potato gratin and a rich balsamic reduction sauce......served with packet frozen vegetables fired into a pot for a few minutes.


Also, I'm ok with most of the 'egg woes' on this thread - I can poach 'em, boil 'em, fry 'em or scramble 'em................but for the life of me, I cannot make a simple fecking omelette!

OldNotWIse

I put butter in pretty much everything. People are always raving about how good my food tastes - they have no idea that every portion takes a week off their lives :pac:

Dolbert

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I put butter in pretty much everything. People are always raving about how good my food tastes - they have no idea that every portion takes a week off their lives :pac:

Butter isn't bad for you! It's margarine you need to avoid, as it's essentially edible plastic. Even the Daily Mail agrees so it must be true.

kylith

dee_mc wrote: »

I'm another failure at poaching eggs! I've resorted to using the little 'poachie' pouch things, not the same but at least I end up with a soft yolk and don't lose all the white like I do whenever I try to cook them properly!
I've tried using a drop of vinegar and it does improve matters slightly but I can detect the vinegar taste and I hate it

I got those poachie things too, they're a lifesaver! I'm glad to hear that so many others have problems poaching eggs.

hattoncracker wrote: »

I can't make mashed potato properly...

I don't know what it is! But it just never turns out correctly! I think I need to read up on boiling potatoes correctly!

Me too! I can just never get it right; it's always lumpy, even when it's gloopy.

Merkin wrote: »

I'm pretty good with eggs but can not master how to do an egg in a microwave. We don't have one at home but I have breakfast at work and so far my attempts at cooking an egg in a cup has resulted in exploding egg which invariably makes a loud bang and results in remnants of sad and pulverized egg flying east and west.

You have to pierce the yolk. That should stop it exploding.

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I put butter in pretty much everything. People are always raving about how good my food tastes - they have no idea that every portion takes a week off their lives :pac:

Have you tried a knob of butter in baked beans? It's lush, just don't tell my OH I do it!

OldNotWIse

Dolbert wrote: »

Butter isn't bad for you! It's margarine you need to avoid, as it's essentially edible plastic. Even the Daily Mail agrees so it must be true.

Well if the Daily Mail says so... :pac: I know butter is better than margarine, I wouldnt let the latter past my door tbh, but if you saw the amounts I use... :P

OldNotWIse

kylith wrote: »

I got those poachie things too, they're a lifesaver! I'm glad to hear that so many others have problems poaching eggs.

Me too! I can just never get it right; it's always lumpy, even when it's gloopy.

You have to pierce the yolk. That should stop it exploding.


Have you tried a knob of butter in baked beans? It's lush, just don't tell my OH I do it!

lol, one of the few things I dont (yet) put butter in MY OH puts tomato sauce and mayonaise on loads of stuff, and salt on tomatoes. I used to think it was weird but now I couldn't imagine eating a pizza without both on top :eek:

Lovely Bloke

A lot of people have trouble with mashed spuds. I read a tip about 2 years ago, and now make great mashers all the time.

1. dry them off, drain them and stick them back on the heat for a couple of minutes, making sure they don't burn
2. mash them dry, get them well broken up and fluffy, then, and only then, add the butter
3. for proper mashers you need the same amount of butter as potato

OldNotWIse

Baldy Conscience wrote: »

A lot of people have trouble with mashed spuds. I read a tip about 2 years ago, and now make great mashers all the time.

1. dry them off, drain them and stick them back on the heat for a couple of minutes, making sure they don't burn
2. mash them dry, get them well broken up and fluffy, then, and only then, add the butter
3. for proper mashers you need the same amount of butter as potato

Malari

I'm pretty good in the kitchen and have lots of techniques and will attempt most things at least once (twice if they are successful ) but I freeze in terror if I have to cook a steak. I can just NEVER tell what it'll be like on the inside without cutting it.

thegreatiam

Malari wrote: »

I'm pretty good in the kitchen and have lots of techniques and will attempt most things at least once (twice if they are successful ) but I freeze in terror if I have to cook a steak. I can just NEVER tell what it'll be like on the inside without cutting it.

Do you know how to tell?

With your left hand hold your first finger and thumb together, like you are making the ok sign with your hand.

now with your right index finger poke the base of your thumb. It will be soft and easy to press in.
This is medium rare.
Poke a rare steak with your finger and it will have the same feel to it, soft and squidgy.

now move your left thumb to your left middle and poke, it's slightly firmer. this is medium.

now the ring finger and then the little finger, each finger will make the muscle at the base of your thumb tighter. As a steak cooks more it will get tighter.

so to determine how a steak is cooked poke it with your finger, then poke your thumb base and gauge which is closest.




If it gets past the middle finger give it to the dog

Malari

Yes, thegreatiam, I have heard of that technique before, I was not looking for advice, I just find it so vague as to be useless to me and I am resigned to the fact that my boyfriend will just have to do all the steak cooking in our house. Let's face it, I do pretty much everything else!

As much as I poke steak (and I'm sure the steak recipient would not be so delighted with continuous proddings of their food before it gets to their plate) I can't equate it to the feel of that part of my hand.

Loire

Malari wrote: »

I'm pretty good in the kitchen and have lots of techniques and will attempt most things at least once (twice if they are successful ) but I freeze in terror if I have to cook a steak. I can just NEVER tell what it'll be like on the inside without cutting it.

This used to bug me. I now take a scientific approach. I cook my steaks on the BBQ and time exactly how long they cook for. We don't eat steak very often and then we do we eat fillets. We like our steaks medium medium/rare and so for a good, thick fillet I give it 6 minutes on one side and 4 minutes on the other side. Obviously barbeques vary and mine is an old, cheap and nasty one and is probably an "Elf & Safety" hazard to boot :eek:

Loire.