"I've donated to #random# charity instead of giving you a gift"

Dubl07

Some friends and family have gone over to the dark side. "I've donated to #x# charity instead of giving you a gift" - usually to a charity I don't support for a considered reason. From behind a keyboard instead of putting a single iota of thought into what I'd like as a gift when I've put time into choosing something for them.

This seems to be happening more and more. Is it laziness or bowing to marketing?

Am I being unreasonable? I donate to charity out of my own funds and I try to only donate to charities that are reputable and have low admin costs.

Arthur Rimbaud

Dubl07 wrote: »

usually to a charity I don't support for a considered reason.

any examples?

I'd be glad if someone donated to almost any of the popular ones, instead of buying me some throwaway gadget or clothes that I probably won't like, but feel obliged to wear.

Irish charity management earn less in salaries than our international counterparts, and pretty much all salaries have fallen recently, if that's what the problem is.

kneemos

All you can do is return the favour.

Sir Arthur Daley

Dubl07 wrote: »

Some friends and family have gone over to the dark side.

That Keith Barry show is seriously over rated.

My name is URL

Monsters!

Dubl07

My name is URL wrote: »

Monsters!

Absolutely! :P

Ruu

Burn down their collective houses! :mad:

Valetta

Dubl07 wrote: »

Some friends and family have gone over to the dark side. "I've donated to #x# charity instead of giving you a gift" - usually to a charity I don't support for a considered reason. From behind a keyboard instead of putting a single iota of thought into what I'd like as a gift when I've put time into choosing something for them.

This seems to be happening more and more. Is it laziness or bowing to marketing?

Am I being unreasonable? I donate to charity out of my own funds and I try to only donate to charities that are reputable and have low admin costs.

You're being selfish.

Your friends and family are under no obligation to give you anything, so your complaint is unjustified.

Entitlement culture is rife.

Dubl07

Arthur Rimbaud wrote: »

any examples?

RSPCA, Goal.

Filibuster

The problem is the "present" does more for the givers ego then being nice to the receiver. Why don't you donate your own money AND buy a present. Don't rub other peoples nose in your supposed generosity because it makes you look like a douchebag.

Aswerty

I'd like this as a present. I get a lot of stuff I in no way need or want (to be fair some people are great at buying innovative presents). Though I would expect the charity to be in line with my world view. Like don't get me a card saying you donated for the missions (or similar) on my behalf. If that were to happen I think I'd have to go out and rob a collection box just so I could sleep soundly at night.

My father used to always donate a goat/sheep through Bothair on behalf of his mother every christmas. I always thought it was a nice gesture, especially when she doesn't really need anything.

ottostreet

**** that. I want my presents!

Teyla Emmagan

I don't get how this is appropriate unless you are sick/dying/dead. There was a poor guy in work who died in a hospice recently and lots of people donated leaving gifts/bonuses to the hospice (both before he died and afterwards). Lovely thought and gesture and he really appreciated it. The rest of us generally like to receive something personal you've gone and bit of effort into, and this seems like a cop out for me. I love buying presents for people anyway, it's never a hardship. Unless the recipient is loaded/really into something, donating to charity is a bit lazy/uninspired IMO.

Judgement Day

Arthur Rimbaud wrote: »

any examples?

I'd be glad if someone donated to almost any of the popular ones, instead of buying me some throwaway gadget or clothes that I probably won't like, but feel obliged to wear.

Irish charity management earn less in salaries than our international counterparts, and pretty much all salaries have fallen recently, if that's what the problem is.

Surely this is something to do with the small size of charities in Ireland. Be that as it may I reckon paying CEOs of charities 6-figure sums is an obscenity - what ever happened to philanthropy? Why can't some of the big private/public companies in Ireland release senior management or sponsor them to work at the top of charities for a couple of years at a time. For years now I have only supported charities that aren't top heavy with overpaid suits.

Arthur Rimbaud

Dubl07 wrote: »

RSPCA, Goal.

Why Goal, out of interest?

Judgement Day wrote: »

what ever happened to philanthropy?

we do have charity managers/ directors who are philanthropists in this country, but they are always the smallest charities who dont bring in a lot of money e.g. alice leahy and Trust.

the biggest charity directors are not philantropists. one of their main purposes is to bring in a lot of money from philantropists.

yes salaries are smaller than our international counterparts because we are a smaller country, but our charities are also pretty dominant (Goal, Concern), internationally. It's not really about the size of the country, but the scope of their commitments and funding needs. All I'm saying are that Irish charity salaries, with a small number of exceptions, seem legit.

I think charity giving is my own personal business, not something to be yelled about or even worse, something I should expect credit for as a present And if it's a charity the recipient is against or doesn't support for very good reasons, it just comes across thoughtless
If you don't want to give someone a present then don't and leave it at that

My name is URL

bluewolf wrote: »

I think charity giving is my own personal business, not something to be yelled about or even worse, something I should expect credit for as a present And if it's a charity the recipient is against or doesn't support for very good reasons, it just comes across thoughtless
If you don't want to give someone a present then don't and leave it at that

It's still better than fcuking socks though

Duno... I could sure do with some more nice socks. Who doesn't need socks!

Arthur Rimbaud

bluewolf wrote: »

Duno... I could sure do with some more nice socks. Who doesn't need socks!

people who dont have shoes...

minidazzler

Valetta wrote: »

You're being selfish.

Your friends and family are under no obligation to give you anything, so your complaint is unjustified.

Entitlement culture is rife.

It's not really being selfish. It's being self-righteous to donate to a charity as a "gift" to someone. Especially one the "receiver" doesn't support. Personally I don't support any of the charities that have religious leanings and if someone donated to one in my name as a gift to me I'd be pissed they didn't think of one I do support like Enable Ireland.

Days 298

Donating to charity "on behalf of someone else" and a present sorted in one. A misers feeding his ego at its best

LynnGrace

bluewolf wrote: »

I think charity giving is my own personal business, not something to be yelled about or even worse, something I should expect credit for as a present And if it's a charity the recipient is against or doesn't support for very good reasons, it just comes across thoughtless
If you don't want to give someone a present then don't and leave it at that

Totally agree. I wouldn't be impressed to receive this as a 'gift'. I support some charities dear to my heart. I don't support others, for various reasons.
I also appreciate every gift I get, be it socks or a mug or a box of chocolates!

P. Breathnach

Most of the people Herself and I would have on our gift list don't want for much. We are happy to give them charity gifts, and we try to match the gifts to their personalities or interests.

It seems to me that if some people here received a house in a third-world country they would evict the occupants so that they could take possession for themselves.

Dubl07

P. Breathnach wrote: »

Most of the people Herself and I would have on our gift list don't want for much. We are happy to give them charity gifts, and we try to match the gifts to their personalities or interests.

It seems to me that if some people here received a house in a third-world country they would evict the occupants so that they could take possession for themselves.

You know that for a fact? You think they wouldn't rather have a witty, conversational or useful present than something you've polished your ego on? A shoehorn, a backscratcher, a mug, cedar balls for their wardrobe would all leave scope for you to donate something to charity without rubbing your largesse in other people's faces. I'm glad you're happy. Are they?

Most of us have what we need, and what we need but don't have we're unlikely to be given as a present. I'd rather a charitable donation to something I don't need, don't really want, and won't appreciate the benefit of to nearly the same extent as someone in dire need.

I love getting those gifts.

P. Breathnach

Dubl07 wrote: »

You know that for a fact? ...

Oddly enough, the people to whom we give presents are people we happen to know.

Mint Aero

Smelly hippies

Gran Hermano

Bothar are great, sounds like they can milk male goats according to their adverts.

FreshKnickers

For every couple of hundred euro you spend in our business we'll donate a cent to a worthy cause.

Friend Computer

kneemos wrote: »

All you can do is return the favour.

As long as the donation is to the Human Fund.

Pang

I honestly wouldn't appreciate a charity donation gift but maybe it's because I am materialistic.

I also fully believe that most of those donations go to the guys up top. Very little I imagine actually goes to the starved child etc..

Capt'n Midnight

Days 298 wrote: »

Donating to charity "on behalf of someone else" and a present sorted in one. A misers feeding his ego at its best

Don't forget to claim the tax back too.

dubrov

Have to agree with the OP.
It's like deciding what to do with someone else's money and feeling good about it.

Return the favour and at least charity wins out.

the groutch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJvbZZWt9g4

Arthur Rimbaud

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Don't forget to claim the tax back too.

Only for donations more than €250, unfortunately, which is much higher than the typical gift amount.

Valetta

Dubl07 wrote: »

You know that for a fact? You think they wouldn't rather have a witty, conversational or useful present than something you've polished your ego on? A shoehorn, a backscratcher, a mug, cedar balls for their wardrobe would all leave scope for you to donate something to charity without rubbing your largesse in other people's faces. I'm glad you're happy. Are they?

Holy f##k. I'm glad you're not on my Christmas list.

What a horrible attitude.

Czarcasm

Posted about something similar before on another thread -

Czarcasm wrote: »

Any weddings I'm invited to, I make a donation on their behalf to one of a list of charities I contribute to myself. Of the few times I've done it, I've heard back from a few people that it was an unusual gesture and it was a really nice idea.

For things like Christmas just gone, my wife does all the present buying. It's not that I'm in any way thoughtless or looking to feed my own ego or whatever silly reason someone can come up with for not getting a backscratcher or a ball bag or whatever, it's just a case of basically giving my friends an unusual gift that I know they'd appreciate which is the gift of giving to other people who are less fortunate than themselves.

dubrov

Well it's kind of hard to criticise someone when the result is giving to charity.
Only those who agree with it would compliment you.

Still think the giver gets more out of it than the receiver.

Czarcasm

dubrov wrote: »

Well it's kind of hard to criticise someone when the result is giving to charity.
Only those who agree with it would compliment you.

Still think the giver gets more out of it than the receiver.

You could say that about a lot of things

Filibuster

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Don't forget to claim the tax back too.

Tax relief for charitable donations has been removed now for both self assessed and PAYE workers.

It's stupid. If you want to spend money on a present then give me a present and donate money to charity in your own name and if I want to donate to a charity I will do it myself.

I'd be quite annoyed to receive a note telling me my present has been donated to x rather than it being given to me.

P. Breathnach

Emmy Big Blonde wrote: »

...
I'd be quite annoyed to receive a note telling me my present has been donated to x rather than it being given to me.

You're definitely not getting onto my Christmas list now.

dubrov

P. Breathnach wrote: »

You're definitely not getting onto my Christmas list now.

You were on mine and I donated €100 to charity for you.

Now where's my present

Fudge You

Is it just me? But I guess the people giving the op a present dont like him. But they "have" to get the op a pressie. So basically its a big F you. I dont like you so Im not getting you anything you want/like, but giving some cash to a charity I like "on your behalf".

P. Breathnach

dubrov wrote: »

You were on mine and I donated €100 to charity for you.

Now where's my present

Thank you.

Yours is in the same place.

Capt'n Midnight

Filibuster wrote: »

Tax relief for charitable donations has been removed now for both self assessed and PAYE workers.

Yes I know that if you donate over €250 then the charity can claim back your tax.


So you can tell N people you donated €400/N on their behalf to a charity :pac:

Raminahobbin

It depends on the person and the charity. My friends once got together and donated to one of my personal favourite charities as a Christmas present for me- It's one of the few times a present has made me cry with gratification! I was delighted.

If someone donated to a charity I'm not emotionally invested in, however, I'd be pretty annoyed- especially if it's one I have a moral objection to (of which there are quite a few). You really need to know your audience to give such a gift.

Capt'n Midnight

Raminahobbin wrote: »

If someone donated to a charity I'm not emotionally invested in, however, I'd be pretty annoyed- especially if it's one I have a moral objection to (of which there are quite a few). You really need to know your audience to give such a gift.

The thought of 50% of your gift ending up as a golden handshake for "one of the lads" is just sickening. All they had to do was redefine his job, he's then redundant and let him reapply for one of the new roles on the new payscale or hand him his statutory two weeks+ after he's worked out his notice.

It's been done to lots of people in this economy.

Cienciano

My name is URL wrote: »

It's still better than fcuking socks though

I'd rather the socks. Charity donation is the worst present

P. Breathnach

Arthur Rimbaud wrote: »

Only for donations more than €250, unfortunately, which is much higher than the typical gift amount.

That €250 can comprise a number of gifts, provided that are all purchased from the same charity.

Blitzkrieger

On non-charity cards I like to write : A surprisingly large donation has been made on your behalf to the Hallmark corporation.










..Blatantly stolen from Scott Meyer.....