Reasons for giving up drink

roddney

Just wondering if anyone else has given up drink due to the behaviour of family members around them rather than having a problem with drink themselves.

Been a moderate enough drinker for some years now. Just naturally grew out of it as nightclubs and late pubs became less relevant to me, due to settling down. Not to say I wouldn't have a few mad days or nights at certain events during the year such as a Christmas party.

Behaviour of certain family members has scarred the crap out of me. It has a serious impact on their kids which has made me give up as I'd never want my kids to be impacted in anyway by drinking parents.

Not drinking means zero chance of a hangover and full weekend to spend doing stuff with them.

iusedtoknow

I know a lot of parents where this happens naturally enough. One of my best mates enjoyed his drink (along with other recreational activities). However it stopped pretty quickly when his gf became pregnant. She obviously didn't drink or do anything else in this time period, and he stopped drinking as well, purely because she had a difficult pregnancy and he always wanted to be able to hop in the car at a moments notice to bring her to hospital etc. After the kids came along, he felt the need to not drink a lot just in case anything happened and he was needed.

Eventually, he just cut out the drink altogether. He'd have been a good father with the drink, now he's a great father.

hawkwind23

i have curtailed my drinking and am trying to understand the reasons for my excessive drinking on occasion.

this is mainly fuelled by the realisation my father is an alcoholic.

to the casual observer hes a man who enjoys his pint and horses.

but to close family , a man incapable of life , in complete denial of emotional and social responsibilities.

i dont ever want to end up like that

Wattle

My mum and dad barely drank at all so no problem there. However I have two friends who are active alcoholics. Half an hour in their company reminds me why I quit.

Sunnyisland

My reason for giving up Alcohol was my behaviour and my spirieling downwards to an early grave.

Sam Kade

I know a couple that still do the pub scene and they are in their late forties. I don't understand how they don't get bored of it pub 3 nights a week late bars etc. Their local publican would stand on his head for them, great customers

Deleted User

Something I posted a while ago

Deleted User wrote: »

Amazing thread.

I've had a huge turn around in my life in the last 2 years. Before that I had a serious problem with alcohol which had spurred from my mid teens to my mid twenties. I had my own reasons for abusing alcohol but I won't go in to that. The last 2 years of it were absolutely miserable. I hated everything & everyone, especially me. For that last year before I gave up all I wanted to do was not live anymore, it's all I thought about and all I wanted. However I was too much of a coward to finally give in to that overwhelming temptation of finally doing it. By October 2011 I was in a bad way both physically & mentally. I was overweight and had some serious health issues.

Thankfully something happened, I had my last pint in October 2011 with my best friend after admitting to him I had a problem with drink. While walking home that night I broke down crying as I knew the cat was finally out of the bag, I knew I couldn't get away with all the drinking at home anymore because my mate now knew and wanted to help me. I woke up the next morning with serious pains in my stomach and had to be hospitalized. This was the third time in 5 years I had been in an ER due to drinking. I had a bit of a heart to heart with my dad that morning and knew I had to finally give it up. After suggestions from a friend a few days later I got in to a recovery program and haven't looked back. I was 2 years without a drop in October this year.

Since then I could go on for pages about what I've achieved after finally addressing my own demons. To name a few I started to drive, progressed in my career, lost 6 stone, ran the Dublin city marathon this year, met an amazing girl I'm in love with but most importantly I finally began a proper relationship with my family. Growing up I didn't like my parents, my reason I won't go in to that here but it got worse as the years went on and to critical levels when I too began to drink. Admittedly I was an extremely selfish person, add drink to that and you get a total prick. The old me would only have a relationship with people if I could get something out of it. Meaning money or whatever. So when I gave up drinking I had to build all these relationships from scratch which was tough but well worth it. I can now whole heartily say that I love both my parents when I loathed them 2 years ago. Which is priceless. Family is everything at the end of the day.

My Grandfather who I loved more then anyone died in June of this year. The memories of my childhood that I cherished most were with him & my gran along with my other grandmother. However when I had gone of the rails I had abused these relationships as well, I would only go to visit them when I knew I could get money out of them for a night out, drink or gambling. Never out of just love. I am so grateful that from the time I gave up drinking and turned my life around that I spent a lot of time that I wanted to spend with him in his last 2 years alive. He was skeptical at first like everyone else, who wouldn't be. He was a wise old goat & I had hurt everyone. In his last 6 months he was very sick and was unable to walk. I used to bring him out for drives every weekend to places around Dublin & Wicklow were he loved throughout his life. The weekend before he died I brought him down to Glendalough for the last time and when we got there he turned to me in the car & just said I'm very proud of you. That was it, he didn't need to say anything else. I was quiet the rest of that journey home as was he humming away to Country Roads on the way back. When he died the next week my gran asked me to do the Eulogy at his funeral which was the proudest thing I've ever done in my life while 2 years before I probably would have been asked to stay away from the funeral due to my general behavior. Stuff like that is what really matters not the materialistic bull**** or constant approval seeking that we crave throughout life.

So what I hope I've put across to people suffering in any way from alcoholism, depression or any other mental disease that when the double barrel of life is pointing at you always remember that things can change if you believe you can change them. Life can always be good when you finally ask & look for help. I've never looked back anyway.

KeefF

Deleted User wrote: »

Something I posted a while ago

Brilliant/Touching/Inspirational post.

Thanks

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Weight.

KeefF

Deleted User wrote: »

Something I posted a while ago

I spent 2 hours in a coffee shop this evening shooting the breeze with my Mam which I thoroughly enjoyed.
That would not have happened 3 months ago.

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http://www.davidstea.com

All of these teas are nicer than any booze I've ever had. Nicer than Midleton, any scotch, anything.

I'm addicted to this stuff, and it's a healthy addiction.

Sunnyisland

I must drink 10/12 cups of herbal/infusion teas a day,find it better than water.

xzanti

I love camomile at night.. I won't say how many bags I put in it

Helps me sleep so well.

Gokei

Wattle wrote: »

My mum and dad barely drank at all so no problem there. However I have two friends who are active alcoholics. Half an hour in their company reminds me why I quit.

Why did you quit?

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

Wattle

Gokei wrote: »

Why did you quit?

Lots of reasons. The complete and utter lack of control over my drinking was one. The three day hangovers and feeling like sh1t all the time. The shame over what I did and said when I was drunk. The lingering depression. It had got to the stage where my drinking was all negative. There was nothing good about it anymore. When I look at those two friends of mine I see how out of control their lives are. Deep down they don't want to be doing what their doing but they are slowly getting caught up in a nightmare now. They know that it could cost them their lives yet the compulsion is strong enough that they plunge on into self destruction. I look at that situation and say thank fook that's not me anymore.

xzanti

Wattle wrote: »

Lots of reasons. The complete and utter lack of control over my drinking was one. The three day hangovers and feeling like sh1t all the time. The shame over what I did and said when I was drunk. The lingering depression. It had got to the stage where my drinking was all negative. There was nothing good about it anymore. When I look at those two friends of mine I see how out of control their lives are. Deep down they don't want to be doing what their doing but they are slowly getting caught up in a nightmare now. They know that it could cost them their lives yet the compulsion is strong enough that they plunge on into self destruction. I look at that situation and say thank fook that's not me anymore.

Sounds a lot like me tbh... the 'sparkle' went out of it somewhere in my mid 20's but I kept at it..

Ultimately I stopped because I didn't think I could be the sort of Mother I wanted to be if drink was a factor in my life, or my childs life..

Also, I didn't look or feel like me anymore.. I was always bloated and irritable, even mid week when I wasn't drinking.

Didn't drink during my pregnancy but made up for it when my Son arrived.. no shortage of family members wanting to mind a newborn.. so I had ample opportunity to reignite my social life.. and reignite it I did.

The weekend wine habit was leaving me feeling like sh1t.. I'm so glad I gave it up.. I also look at my old drinking buddies and I can see what it's doing to them.. though they'd never admit it, I'd say they're terrified of the future.. not a nice feeling.

Edit: I'd also like to add, that I am of course not referring to every drinking person I know with that last line.. there are lots of people I know who can take it or leave it.. but there are a few who I can see a lot of my 'old self' in..

Carpet diem

The "sparkle" went out of it for me about two years ago.
Hangovers got so much worse.
Emotionally and physically it became too much.
Areas of my life were clearly being neglected.
People in my life were been affected.
I knew I was going down the wrong path.
I wasn't achieving any of my goals.
I was falling out with people.
The last few months I didn't want to live anymore and I hated what I saw in the mirror.
I didn't know who I saw in the mirror.

I could go on...

Philope

Alcohol poisons the system and mind slowly. That's the problem with it, you tend to think "ah no ill effects will happen me, I'll stop long before then, sure I only get drunk at the weekend". Yet it creeps up on you and works on the body and mind slowly. Also all the drunken weekend incidents you excused as “fun”, looking back, weren’t really fun at all. Alcohol is a toxin. Ok in small does, but better without it.

hubba

Two main reasons for me (apart from the cost of it and the bigger hangovers as I got older):

1. Drinking increases anxiety and depression (no point in wondering why nothing I try doesn't make me feel happier when I'm still drinking so I knocked it on the head to give myself a sporting chance - and it's working).
2. Drinking gradually damages your cognitive ability (memory, concentration, problem solving). Scared the hell out of me.