Living with a couple and he isn't paying rent..HELP

JFK1994

This was not what I signed up for in the first place, my best friend and I decided to get an apartment in cork city together after two or three weeks she decided to move her boyfriend in I thought this was a short term arrangement but it's not because he's there full time using just as much of the house as I am and it's even awkward when they're on the couch all over eachother and I'm sitting there or when they always do things together and I feel left out. I would mind any of this but he doesn't pay rent and every time I bring it up me and my friend argue about it. The way she sees it is we would be paying the same amount if he want there anyway! But I still don't think that's fair. I need advice please

dharma200

Move and let him take on the lease.
Playing gooseberry doesn't work.
Your friend sounds like a ............

jimmurt

JFK1994 wrote: »

This was not what I signed up for in the first place, my best friend and I decided to get an apartment in cork city together after two or three weeks she decided to move her boyfriend in I thought this was a short term arrangement but it's not because he's there full time using just as much of the house as I am and it's even awkward when they're on the couch all over eachother and I'm sitting there or when they always do things together and I feel left out. I would mind any of this but he doesn't pay rent and every time I bring it up me and my friend argue about it. The way she sees it is we would be paying the same amount if he want there anyway! But I still don't think that's fair. I need advice please

You're right. It's really up to you but I'd move out in that situation as I'd feel I was being taken advantage of.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to put yourself in your friend's situation and ask would you do the same. I definitely wouldn't do it to a friend of mine. I wouldn't even move my OH in nevermind move her in rent free.

shruikan2553

If you weren't there then they would have to pay the rent. Would they see that as an excuse for you not to pay? Does he at least pay for bills or are they split 50/50 between you and your friend? Probably best thing to do is move out, if you tell them its he pays or you move out it will probably make things awkward anyway.

Penny Tration

Is his name on the lease? Does the landlord know? I don't see a landlord taking the idea of an unknown, rent free tenant very well.

JFK1994

green_screen wrote: »

Is his name on the lease? Does the landlord know? I don't see a landlord taking the idea of an unknown, rent free tenant very well.

The landlord doesn't know and it's my name on the lease. If I move out I probably won't get my deposit back?

JFK1994

shruikan2553 wrote: »

If you weren't there then they would have to pay the rent. Would they see that as an excuse for you not to pay? Does he at least pay for bills or are they split 50/50 between you and your friend? Probably best thing to do is move out, if you tell them its he pays or you move out it will probably make things awkward anyway.

No the bills are split between the three of us.

djimi

Tell her that there is a third person sharing the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen etc, and that she is out of her mind if she thinks that the rent should remain a 50/50 split. If he remained confined to her bedroom then fair enough, but I very much doubt that this is the case.

To be perfectly honest, once this situation arises then you are just better off getting out of there. Its going to be their house, and you will always be made to feel like a third wheel. Unfortunately, in this case as you are the leaseholder, getting out means that its up to you to reassign the remainder of the lease. This means, presumably, going to the landlord and getting them to sign the remainder of the lease into their name. If they are not willing to do this then you will have to all move out and look to find new tenants to take over the remainder of the lesae.

ABajaninCork

JFK1994 wrote: »

The landlord doesn't know and it's my name on the lease. If I move out I probably won't get my deposit back?

If it's your name on the lease, BF needs to leave. Pronto. Your mate and her bloke are a pair of p1ss-taking freeloaders who have shown no respect to you. I wouldn't care he's paying 1/3 of the bills. He needs to pay 1/3 of the RENT!! If matey doesn't like it? They can both hit the road, and you can find other room-mates. Oh - and have some consideration for you. If they need to be lovey-dovey on the sofa? Go to their room!! Why the hell should YOU feel uncomfortable in your own home?

I'd be making this very plain to your mate. And in future? Set the ground rules from the very start, so that folk know where they stand. IMO - any partners staying more than two nights of the week, are living there and should be paying rent and bills.

Did she even have the courtesy to discuss with you first, or did he just move in by stealth (which is just as bad IMO)?

suds1984

Option 1. Talk to the couple, discuss how you feel calmly and propose a rent review of maybe something like 60/40 and maybe you get an evening a week when you get the living areas to your own for any guests you want over.
Option 2. Leave and the couple decide to stay. The lease can be reassigned to them and you should get the deposit back. They can then look for a new tenant for the bedroom or pay the full rent themselves.
Option 3. and the couple decide to move elsewhere, with the landlords permission advertise on daft and find new tenants. If the tenants are to the landlords satisfaction, then the lease can be reassigned to them and you get your deposit back. If they is a gap between you moving out and new tenant moving in, then you may be liable for the shortfall in rent for the landlord.

Probably talk to the couple together & see how you get on.

shruikan2553

JFK1994 wrote: »

No the bills are split between the three of us.

Thats not too bad then. You just need to decide whether you are willing to live with the 2 of them or move out. There isn't really a peaceful way of dealing with this that will make you all happy. She wants him to stay for free, you want him to pay. Anything to get rid of him will turn her against you. I'd say he is actually paying for half of her rent and just not letting on.

ABajaninCork

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Thats not too bad then. You just need to decide whether you are willing to live with the 2 of them or move out. There isn't really a peaceful way of dealing with this that will make you all happy. She wants him to stay for free, you want him to pay. Anything to get rid of him will turn her against you. I'd say he is actually paying for half of her rent and just not letting on.

I'm sorry, but I can't agree with this. If you were living in a flat, not paying rent but the bills were paid, what LL would find this acceptable? Not too many, I would imagine.

Well - it's the same for the OP. Proportionately, the OP is paying for this freeloader and they need to be made aware of this fact. FAST.

shruikan2553

ABajaninCork wrote: »

I'm sorry, but I can't agree with this. If you were living in a flat, not paying rent but the bills were paid, what LL would find this acceptable? Not too many, I would imagine.

Well - it's the same for the OP. Proportionately, the OP is paying for this freeloader and they need to be made aware of this fact. FAST.

I agree but while someone else living in the flat for free is annoying its a lot worse when youre the one helping to fund there showers and sitting around the house all day.

She should probably start looking for a new flatmate if she decides to get him kicked out by the landlord. I would be surprised if the other person stayed, if they did it would probably become a bad place to live.

JFK1994

ABajaninCork wrote: »

If it's your name on the lease, BF needs to leave. Pronto. Your mate and her bloke are a pair of p1ss-taking freeloaders who have shown no respect to you. I wouldn't care he's paying 1/3 of the bills. He needs to pay 1/3 of the RENT!! If matey doesn't like it? They can both hit the road, and you can find other room-mates. Oh - and have some consideration for you. If they need to be lovey-dovey on the sofa? Go to their room!! Why the hell should YOU feel uncomfortable in your own home?

I'd be making this very plain to your mate. And in future? Set the ground rules from the very start, so that folk know where they stand. IMO - any partners staying more than two nights of the week, are living there and should be paying rent and bills.

Did she even have the courtesy to discuss with you first, or did he just move in by stealth (which is just as bad IMO)?

No that's what also upset me she never asked me would it be ok if he moved in he just slowly but gradually did!
And when I asked her if he was moving in she's say no so I had to ask him when he was on his own and he said he was.

DoozerT6

OP, even if he's paying 1/3 of the bills, let's assume he's paying your friend for 1/2 of HER share of the rent, eg if the rent is €100p/w between you, then you're paying €50 and they're paying €25 each. Basically, you're paying 1/2 the rent and they are paying 1/4 each.

You're still being screwed. And that's ASSUMING he's giving your friend money towards her rent. If he's not, then he's scrounging. That's not fair.

Just saw your post above. Just confront him: ask him if HE feels it's acceptable to live rent free in shared accommodation when he moved in by stealth. that might shame him into coughing up a few bob. Otherwise, just move out.

No Pants

If the OP's name is the only one on the lease, is the friend only renting a room from her and therefore has no tenant rights?

JFK1994

No Pants wrote: »

If the OP's name is the only one on the lease, is the friend only renting a room from her and therefore has no tenant rights?

It's mine and my friends name on the lease her partner's name isn't on it

lollsangel

I would ask her when hes leaving!
irregardless of whether they are a couple or not they still have to pay their share of rent etc. Give her an ultimatum, either they pay their 2 thirds or his name can replace yours on the lease. She breeched the terms of the contract, dont think id be happy with a friend who done that tbh

Topper7

Been there done that OP. No easy way around this. I've seen this happen loads when I was in uni. Also 1 of my best friends shares the 2nd family home with his brother. Due to the nature of the business we travel a lot & his brother's girlfriend actually stays there more than he does! She doesn't pay anything towards rent or bills!!

Best advice I'd give is try talking to your friend in a 121 environment. Try tell her how you feel uncomfortable & that it isn't fair on you. You agreed to live with her not the 2 of them. You need to make sure though that you do this in the correct manner though as you don't want the 2 of ye becoming aggressive towards each other. If this fails I wonder if ye had a 3rd neutral friend that could help talk her round? All else fails & you really aren't happy I guess you have a decision to make weather to stay or go...

Mrs OBumble

lollsangel wrote: »

I would ask her when hes leaving!
irregardless of whether they are a couple or not they still have to pay their share of rent etc. Give her an ultimatum, either they pay their 2 thirds or his name can replace yours on the lease. She breeched the terms of the contract, dont think id be happy with a friend who done that tbh

Yup.

Or the other way to phrase it is to ask when you should contact the landlord about getting his name on the lease.


That said - if she and he are telling different stories about whether he's moved in or not, it may be because she actually doesn't want to be living with him, but doesn't know how to get him to understand that.

It all comes down to how good a friend she is, and how much you want to help her out.

4th horsemen

Is she a good friend(years) or someone you met few months ago maybe a year or two?
If you only met your friend then you do not know her and you are better off just getting out of that situation as it sounds to me like her n her boyfriend are looking for cheap accommodation and using you to achieve this.

As mentioned try talking to her 1 on 1 and discuss with your other mutual friends.
And maybe discuss you moving out as there will prob be a sour atmosphere, even if ye come to an arrangement, and you should not be made feel like that.

That fella sounds like a right tool.

conorhal

Well, I'd probably be cowardly and ask the landlord to mention that it 'had come to his attention' that three people were living in a house that he leased to two people and that the aditional person needs to leave because most leases will not allow sub-letting. It would avoid the complication of a confrontation, though to be honest, even if you loose a friend over this, how badly do you need friends that are happy to use you in that manner?

As sombody that onece had a 'guest' that ended up a flatmate, you will have to chalk it up as a learning experience. I got rid of a subsequent flatmate who started to take the piss because I was determined not to go through that again. You have to be firm from the outset and say, well this person can stay, but at the end of the week they need to find some place else to crash. If it's not clear that a temp arangement has a definite expiry date then you are reliant on the good consicence of your flatmate, and clearly your friend is a selfish so-and-so.

djimi

Just one thing you need to bear in mind is that this is your problem, not the landlords. This additional person is not supposed to be in the property, and both you and your friend are responsible as joint leaseholders for them being there. You can bring this to the attention of the landlord and see what they say, but just keep it in mind that you are also breaking the lease by allowing an addional person live in the property, not just your friend.

the_syco

Option C; have the dude give you your half of the deposit (assuming you went splits with your mate on the deposit), and have his name added to the lease, your name removed, and get out before they realise what has happened?

JFK1994

When I do tell her he has to pay rent how do ye think it should be split as I have a room to myself and there sharing??

mfergus

Next time the rent or any bills are due, give her 1/3 of it. When she asks just say "well there's 3 of us living here so we can all pay 1/3 each".
Leave it at that then, she can make the next move.

As for them sharing a room, that's their choice. Not your problem. Stand up for yourself op

Sligo1

JFK1994 wrote: »

When I do tell her he has to pay rent how do ye think it should be split as I have a room to myself and there sharing??

I'd say a 60/40 split provided rooms are equal. I don't think it should be split 1/3 each as they are sharing at the end of the day. But this also depends on whether one of ye has an ensuite or larger room etc. if they have a much larger room than you with an ensuite I would perhaps say 1/3 each. Bills should all be split 1/3 each.

quietsailor

One of the lads on here posted a word doc on how to divide bills in a thread - The equitable houseshare - and it shows how to divide up the rent equally even with a 2 bed, 3 person split.

It goes on to say that the bills are divided equally. OP, you sound like a nice person - have you been lumbered with dealing with the bills? I did a few years ago and what I noticed was that I had to have an overdraft in place on my a/c as one of the lads would be late paying all the time and then I'd get charged for overdrawing my a/c.

It sounds petty but it adds up very quickly. Once I said to the other two renting with us that they would have to start paying extra to cover his late fees a small chat was had and he started paying on time/covering the late fees.

Also, bank fees do build up over the course of a year, depending on the number of transactions you could be looking at €30.