Row over smoking - what to do?

JupiterKid

My sisters are over here from abroad for Christmas. Trouble is brewing over smoking. Basically it's my Dads house and his partner smokes as do I and one of my sisters. My other sister is as anti-smoking as you can get - extremely intolerant of anyone smoking.

The thing is that my sister won't oppose my dad's partner smoking - she smokes where she likes - but she makes a big deal of my sister and myself smoking.

It doesn't look like a compromise can be reached. At the end of the day it's my Dad's house and his view is that people can smoke in it.

What to do???

January

If your dad is happy to have his partner, you and your sister smoke in his house then the other sister is over ruled.

Dtp1979

I fcuking hate smoking and being in an environment where people are smoking. But it's his house and his rules. Simple

anncoates

I'd never dream of smoking in anybody's house even if they told me I could.

Just go outside.

mackeire

JupiterKid wrote: »

My sisters are over here from abroad for Christmas. Trouble is brewing over smoking. Basically it's my Dads house and his partner smokes as do I and one of my sisters. My other sister is as anti-smoking as you can get - extremely intolerant of anyone smoking.

The thing is that my sister won't oppose my dad's partner smoking - she smokes where she likes - but she makes a big deal of my sister and myself smoking.

It doesn't look like a compromise can be reached. At the end of the day it's my Dad's house and his view is that people can smoke in it.

What to do???

Tell her to **** off, it's not her house and she doesn't make the rules

January

anncoates wrote: »

I'd never dream of smoking in anybody's house even if they told me I could.

Just go outside.

But why, if there's already another person smoking in the house, what's the problem?

I don't smoke, but my mum does and I'd hardly ask her to smoke outside in her own house.

Deank

anncoates wrote: »

I'd never dream of smoking in anybody's house even if they told me I could.

Just go outside.

+1

kneemos

Start drinking.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

I think it's pretty rude to light up and force someone else to breathe in toxic smoke. Why not just do the decent thing?

Though if your dad said its ok to smoke in his house, then his rules I guess. It's still a ****ty thing to do

Deank

JupiterKid wrote: »

My sisters are over here from abroad for Christmas. Trouble is brewing over smoking. Basically it's my Dads house and his partner smokes as do I and one of my sisters. My other sister is as anti-smoking as you can get - extremely intolerant of anyone smoking.

The thing is that my sister won't oppose my dad's partner smoking - she smokes where she likes - but she makes a big deal of my sister and myself smoking.

It doesn't look like a compromise can be reached. At the end of the day it's my Dad's house and his view is that people can smoke in it.

What to do???

Throw a rave in the garden, problem solved.

Sulla Felix

I think the problem is that people smoking inside tend to chain smoke. If they were having a coordinated indoor smoke every fifteen minutes, I could piss off outside for the duration.

But really, it's your fathers house, his rules. Tell her fsck right off.

0ph0rce0

If your sisters name is Chucho, You can just say this to her

Gongoozler

I generally would agree that if the house owner agrees its okay then that's what matters, but think it's pretty awful to be in someone's house and not feel welcome because they couldn't give two ****s about your health.

Tough one.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Any chance of some pics of your sister?
Is she smoking?

MonsterCookie

Hate the smell of stale smoke...so in a way I don't blame her.

Can post a picture of your sister to help us decide?

Professey Chin

He says its ok well then I guess its ok.
Still be better to smoke outside though. The stink it attaches to everything is absolutely horriffic

rolliepoley

Dont worrie about it, Da's house his rules, it'll all blow over soon.

wazky

Where there is smoke there is fire.

Set fire to the house.

jam_mac_jam

Could you not go outside out of consideration for her? There are very few houses you can smoke in anymore.

BetterThanThou

Personally, I can sympathize with your sister, smoking is absolutely disgusting and should not be done indoors. I grew up with my mother being a smoker who smoked only indoors, and it was terrible, once I got past the terrible smell of smoke, my clothes would take on the smell of smoke, leaving me, someone who would never touch a cigarette, smelling like someone who sits around smoking in doors all day, every second day someone would make a comment about me smelling like smoke and once I was even pulled aside by a teacher who tried to give me a talk on giving up smoking until I explained the story to him. Smokers don't seem to realize that smoking in doors has more effects on other people than just the unpleasant smell. While yes, it is your father's house, he should be more considerate of guests, I'm sure the majority of smokers would have a problem if I came along and lit up a blunt around them and their clothes.

Fr_Dougal

9/10 it's about how these situations are approached. I quit smoking a while ago, but if someone was to demand that I not smoke in a smoking area I'll tell them to feck off. On the otherhand if someone was to be reasonable and polite I might make an exception.

Best thing to do is make one room in the house a designated smoking room and not smoke in other areas of the house. It's only for a day or so 'til you all go on your merry way back to your own homes.

thegreatgonzo

Maybe it is the cumulative effect that is bothering her. One person smoking in the house is one thing but if there are 4 of you at it it is probably unbearable. I'd forgotten what it was like until I was at a party where smokers outnumbered non smokers and my eyes were streaming after a couple of hours, it was really uncomfortable.

Canis Lupus

To be fair to the sister, it's got to be tough to not be a smoker and be stuck inside a house with other smokers and in winter with all the windows closed and heating on..... pretty hellish imo. Whatever about your dad could you not try and have some consideration for your sister and pop outside to have your smoke?

WilyCoyote

Can't see what the big fucking deal is. In my youth most people smoked and the only time you smoked outside the door was when you were outside. People were already living longer then - due to fast food improved diet and medicine. This PC guff is enough to make people nauseous.

Neither I nor my wife smoke but we put out ashtrays if we have visitors that do - although in this day and age most of the frightened little lambs insist on going out on the porch. Am loath to say this but I guess it's a touch of self loathing.

Professey Chin

WilyCoyote wrote: »

Can't see what the big fucking deal is. In my youth most people smoked and the only time you smoked outside the door was when you were outside. People were already living longer then - due to fast food improved diet and medicine. This PC guff is enough to make people nauseous.

Neither I nor my wife smoke but we put out ashtrays if we have visitors that do - although in this day and age most of the frightened little lambs insist on going out on the porch. Am loath to say this but I guess it's a touch of self loathing.

The big fcuking deal outside any kinda medical concerns is the smell. Stale smoke is absolutely horrendous. The stink off clothes if youve even spent just a small amount of time around people smoking is horrific

Lando Griffin

Might be a good night to introduce E Cags and fapping.

WilyCoyote

The Dark Lord Cthulhu wrote: »

The big fcuking deal outside any kinda medical concerns is the smell. Stale smoke is absolutely horrendous. The stink off clothes if youve even spent just a small amount of time around people smoking is horrific

Oi! Watch your language. This is a fcuking family forum!

Now, if a neighbour of yours called in for a cuppa early some morning - after having a few cloves of garlic the night before ......... would you comment on their halitosis?

By the way, your name might be frightening to some but not me

wazky

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Might be a good night to introduce E Cags and fapping.

When isn't it a good night to introduce fapping?

Bepolite

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Might be a good night to introduce E Cags and fapping.

:eek: It's his sister for Christ sake and we've no indication the family is in Leitrim. Besides no pics as yet to indicate hotness.

Sinfonia

The Dark Lord Cthulhu wrote: »

The big fcuking deal outside any kinda medical concerns is the smell. Stale smoke is absolutely horrendous. The stink off clothes if youve even spent just a small amount of time around people smoking is horrific

Slight exaggeration?
I can think of things that are more offensive to the nose.

Professey Chin

Sinfonia wrote: »

Slight exaggeration?
I can think of things that are more offensive to the nose.

So can I but not an exaggeration. A horrible fart can be worse but stale smoke is still pungent

Sinfonia

The Dark Lord Cthulhu wrote: »

So can I but not an exaggeration. A horrible fart can be worse but stale smoke is still pungent

To be fair, if they stop smoking in the house, that's when it'll smell of stale smoke.
If they keep going it'll at least be fresh :P

lau1247

Could be a few reasons:

• She might not care about your dad's partner
• She might be worried for you/your sister's health
• Dislike smoking smell especially indoor
• Smell of smoke on clothing

Recently i only started to notice that people who smokes are quite inconsiderated, they smoke while walking and blowing it across on people's face or they smoke by the door (i.e. Shopping centre entrance) and people who walks by have to endure it

Public places definitely need some form of smoking room build

lau1247

The Dark Lord Cthulhu wrote: »

So can I but not an exaggeration. A horrible fart can be worse but stale smoke is still pungent

A fart can be worst but it is hardly harmful to health and also it doesn't quite have the 'sticking' aroma that stays on clothing

B.A._Baracus

My two cents

Op's dad owns the house and there for sets the rules. Sounds like the sister is just being unreasonably tactful because she knows she cant say squat about her dads partner smoking in their house. But being so anti-smoking wants to dictate to others.

Simple ownership rules apply here. If the sister wants to have a total smoke-free in her own place then she has every right. But you can't walk into anothers home and start making rules. Be it to the owners of that home, or in this case, other guests in that home.


Simples

Mrs Garth Brooks

Do you smoke outside pubs and restaurants? Or do you ignore their rules and smoke inside anyway?

Give your sister a break, its passive smoking. And no one should have to put up with that. By how many people, how many times a day? Fcuk off outside will you.

B.A._Baracus

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

Do you smoke outside pubs and restaurants? Or do you ignore their rules and smoke inside anyway?

Give your sister a break, its passive smoking. And no one should have to put up with that. By how many people, how many times a day? Fcuk off outside will you.

Restaurants? pubs? its funny you mentioned them because you went on to say 'rules'
Talking about someones home here. You respect the rules of the person who owns it. Go back to the op's post... mentions nothing about his Dad laying rules. Nope. His sister did... a guest.... just like the op.

If I went into your home tomorrow and start going on about how your toilet seat should be positioned, clean the place more, arrange things differently etc you'd quickly tell me where to go... and rightfully so too because its your home.

Dont let your anti-smoking mentality cloud basic house etiquette.

regress

Too much intolerance these days. It's your fathers house and if he allows it then your sister should just live with it. Let her dictate and make rules in her own place.

The Narrator

Yeah, if we could get some pictures of you and your sisters, you'd really be helping us out.

Daqster

If anyone in a room is a non-smoker, then people wanting to smoke should go outside, unless they are incapable of doing so.

lufties

I think people smoking indoors with others around is fcuking disrespectful. Go outside and puff ffs.

Sinfonia

Daqster wrote: »

If anyone in a room is a non-smoker, then people wanting to smoke should go outside, unless they are incapable of doing so.

If I was in a room where everyone but me was smoking crack and I didn't want to be around for it, I'd leave.
I certainly wouldn't expect everyone else to accommodate me. I don't have to be there.

harryr711

Dirty smokers.

JacquesDeLad

I think this is less about smoking and more about Jeremy Kyle guests.

As a former smoker I think it's very unfair for smokers to be tarred with the brush of unsocial behaviour.

Most smokers can accept limits to where they can smoke without objection.

Chattastrophe!

You're technically in the right - your dad's house, his rules - but I think it's a fairly crappy thing to do, to smoke in the same room as someone when they've specifically asked you not to.

I've found that, even when I'm visiting a smoker in their own home, they'll generally ask in advance if you mind, before lighting up. It's just being decent ... if the non-smoker is in the same room they're going to end up breathing in your second-hand fumes, not a particularly nice experience for anyone.

December2012

While your dad can decide if you're allowed to smoke inside - why be a dick about it? It doesn't stop you from curbing your smoking around your sister, who presumably has come home to visit and is being made feel unwelcome by the put up or shut up attitude to the smoking.

Just cut down around her for the visit - it won't kill you.

JacquesDeLad

Maybe quit smoking.

Just a thought.

fiona-f

Has your sister always been like this? Any chance she could be in the early stages of pregnancy and so would need to avoid passive smoking for this reason?

As a non smoker, tbh I think it sounds horrid to stay in a place where four people are smoking throughout the house, especially at Christmas when you spend so much time at home instead of out to work etc. The hassle/harm/inconvenience for a smoker to avoid smoking in a room with a non smoker is to my mind much less than that suffered by the person forced to breathe your secondhand smoke.

Cee-Jay-Cee

Your sister sounds rude and arrogant. She may not smoke and I can understand her hatred of it but it's not her house and downright ignorant to even try and dictate what goes on in someone else's house.

I hate smoking too and refuse to allow my daughters into their grandads house as he smokes and the place stinks of it but I would never dream of asking him not to smoke in his own house.

lufties

lufties wrote: »

I think people smoking indoors with others around is fcuking disrespectful. Go outside and puff ffs.

I think going into someone else's house and trying to set your own rules is disrespectful.

lufties

Octavia Careful Hash wrote: »

I think going into someone else's house and trying to set your own rules is disrespectful.

Smoking is a disgusting habit and harmful to others. I never said people going setting rules is a good thing, its not. If someone came into my house and I picked my nose constantly,it would be considered disgusting and disrespectful, Is smoking any different? or perhaps worse;)