Man Cheats

Gilbert Grape

What are your man cheats, for example a few of mine are eating fast food or similar and no napkins are available I use the area of sock around my ankles (it's undercover and won't make your clothes look scruffy)
When my gf isn't home and I have to make myself something for dinner I eat right out of the pans I cook in
When I have to do something, I purposely do a bad job so that the woman "has" to take over
And cleaning up cum with old socks. They are going to get washed anyway so **** it.:D

Red Crow

That's not a 'cheat'. That's disgusting!

Talib Fiasco

So man cheating = being an unhygienic lazy f*ck?

Gran Hermano

One man's man cheats is another's definition of scummy behaviour.

Chucken

Gilbert Grape wrote: »

What are your man cheats, for example a few of mine are eating fast food or similar and no napkins are available I use the area of sock around my ankles (it's undercover and won't make your clothes look scruffy)
When my gf isn't home and I have to make myself something for dinner I eat right out of the pans I cook in
When I have to do something, I purposely do a bad job so that the woman "has" to take over
And cleaning up cum with old socks. They are going to get washed anyway so **** it.:D

You have a girlfriend?!

bohsboy

Good jaysus.

B.A._Baracus

... student, right op? :pac:

Howard Juneau

OP, you say "when' your girlfriend isn't around.....how long ago did she dump you for these "mancheat" habits of yours?

The Advent of smart phones really has given dumpees the ability to ask for a second opinion from the shade of a door frame on the side of the street

Turtyturd

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A

arybvtcw0eolkf

The poor GF.

rawn

This thread backfired on the OP quite spectacularly

Sunnyisland

Thought this this was about gay men ???? I know it's late.

rawn

rawn wrote: »

This thread backfired on the OP quite spectacularly

Too soon. Its going to get worse

nice_very

I do the eating out of the pot thing, why dirty a plate for the sake of it?

also would this not be classed as lifehacking? (well, some of the op)

The King of Moo

Instead of functioning like a mature adult, I base my life choices on Andy Capp and Hagar the Horrible cartoon strips.

Sorry, must dash, my apron-wearing wife is chasing me with a rolling pin for leaving my semen-encrusted socks on the floor.

Gummy Panda

If your GF is a big girl and enjoys receiving oral sex, her knickers are good for wiping your mouth with afterwards.


Unless she has a ****ty bum...

mikehunts

Gilbert Grape wrote: »

What are your man cheats, for example a few of mine are eating fast food or similar and no napkins are available I use the area of sock around my ankles (it's undercover and won't make your clothes look scruffy)
When my gf isn't home and I have to make myself something for dinner I eat right out of the pans I cook in
When I have to do something, I purposely do a bad job so that the woman "has" to take over
And cleaning up cum with old socks. They are going to get washed anyway so **** it.:D

Sorry man try again....

cassid

Would a piece of kitchen roll not be easier than taking off socks and for the other stuff as well. YOu can buy recycled in your worried about the environment.
What mother would not be proud of you!!

IvaBigWun

There is hope for all single men out there

downonthefarm

Pissing in the sink when drunk

whirlpool

Ugh. The majority of the people who replied to this post are the sh*test type of people. And no this thread has not "backfired" on the OP.

OP, you've admitted your undesireable habits. The dopes who went mad at you wouldn't have the balls to.

Muise...

Mr Grape isn't so disgraceful - he just lacks a napkin, good crockery and a cumcloth sometimes, when no one is around to disapprove. Carry on impro-mopping, good man.

hatchets mcgovern

you probably wipe your arse with your hand too

Banjo String

Lance Armstrong

Brian2208

don't worry op, everyone's just jealous of your genius!

I have to admit i do sometimes use the top of my socks to wipe my fingers after eating something too

The Diabolical Monocle

Gummy Panda wrote: »

If your GF is a big girl and enjoys receiving oral sex, her knickers are good for wiping your mouth with afterwards.


Unless she has a ****ty bum...

Puts down tuna sandwich.

Howard Juneau

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Puts down tuna sandwich.

And goes from licking fish to sh**ty bum?

cerastes

Gilbert Grape wrote: »

What are your man cheats, for example a few of mine are eating fast food or similar and no napkins are available I use the area of sock around my ankles (it's undercover and won't make your clothes look scruffy)
When my gf isn't home and I have to make myself something for dinner I eat right out of the pans I cook in
When I have to do something, I purposely do a bad job so that the woman "has" to take over
And cleaning up cum with old socks. They are going to get washed anyway so **** it.:D

These socks, they're different ones, right?

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Puts down tuna sandwich.

to what? struck you as a good idea and now you're looking for a pair of your girlfriends dirty knickers as a facecloth?

blacklilly

Threads like this make me happy that I'm single

Sir Osis of Liver.

Answer the question OP, does your bird have a sh1tty bum?

WoollyRedHat

nice_very wrote: »

I do the eating out of the pot thing, why dirty a plate for the sake of it?

also would this not be classed as lifehacking? (well, some of the op)

The eating out of the pot thing is fine, the others are weird and what I'd consider questionable at best.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Hey OP, next time you sort yourself out, wipe the output all over your face.

Free skin cream.

Links234

Foul Bachelor Frog, is that you? :eek:

Gummy Panda

blacklilly wrote: »

Threads like this make me happy that I'm single

Because you can wipe up squirt with your socks without judgement from a bf?

blacklilly

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Because you can wipe up squirt with your socks without judgement from a bf?

Yeah...basically

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Chazz Michael Michaels wrote: »

Hey OP, next time you sort yourself out, wipe the output all over your face.

Free skin cream.

nah, it's full of protein. just swallow it for dem gainz

Fuzzytrooper

I also wipe my hands on my socks when I'm minus a napkin. Best place really.

PizzamanIRL

I was expecting some romance sob story.

But this is way better.

smurgen

Gilbert Grape wrote: »

What are your man cheats, for example a few of mine are eating fast food or similar and no napkins are available I use the area of sock around my ankles (it's undercover and won't make your clothes look scruffy)
When my gf isn't home and I have to make myself something for dinner I eat right out of the pans I cook in
When I have to do something, I purposely do a bad job so that the woman "has" to take over
And cleaning up cum with old socks. They are going to get washed anyway so **** it.:D

Ha ha ha brilliant,I applaud your brutal honesty.

Muise...

Fuzzytrooper wrote: »

I also wipe my hands on my socks when I'm minus a napkin. Best place really.

mmmmm sock-wipin' good.

NuckingFacker

Muise... wrote: »

mmmmm sock-wipin' good.

I just wipe them on my jeans. No fancy pants sock tricks here. Also OP, the whole cooking thing - fancy. I just go out - there's places that sell food cooked and on a plate and stuff. They even wash up for you.

wazky

If im out and about and stuck for a shite, I remove my sock and shit into it.

Tie it up and fling it, sorted.

I can also remove the other sock to wipe off any excess if needed.

Links234

I had been considering posting a thread entitled "What are your gross habits?", because I have a habit of smelling my socks after I take them off, but after reading this I'm glad I didn't start that thread.

Cienciano

Jesus, with the reaction you'd swear the op likes to rub his knob cheese on a slice of bread before he makes a sandwich or something.
What he said wasn't actually that bad.

Gummy Panda

Links234 wrote: »

I had been considering posting a thread entitled "What are your gross habits?", because I have a habit of smelling my socks after I take them off, but after reading this I'm glad I didn't start that thread.

You would have the ladies of AH saying they smell the gusset of their knickers

Cienciano

Gummy Panda wrote: »

You would have the ladies of AH saying they smell the gusset of their knickers

Nothing wrong with smelling the gusset of ladies knickers

Chazz Michael Michaels

wazky wrote: »

If im out and about and stuck for a shite, I remove my sock and shit into it.

Tie it up and fling it, sorted.

I can also remove the other sock to wipe off any excess if needed.

Don't throw away the sock! Keep it in your pocket to wipe your mouth with, at your next meal.

hatchets mcgovern

Cienciano wrote: »

Nothing wrong with smelling the gusset of ladies knickers

adds to the ****!

Daqster

Ever taken a dump in a toilet and then realise there's no bog roll?

Never fear, Daqster's here.

Place your buttocks as far into the toilet as possible.

Pivoting your feet to tippy toe position, will enable your posterior to get right down in there.

Roll up sleeves and place hands behind back and down into toilet also.

Then, with the speed of Bruce Lee, and dexterity of Steven Seagal..

Flush the toilet and with your fingers, shimmy the force of the fast flushing water into and around your anal sphincter.

If done correctly, your asshole should now be sparkling clean.

Wash your hands

#EmergencyBidet

cerastes

Daqster wrote: »

Ever taken a dump in a toilet and then realise there's no bog roll?

Never fear, Daqster's here.

Place your buttocks as far into the toilet as possible.

Pivoting your feet to tippy toe position, will enable your posterior to get right down in there.

Roll up sleeves and place hands behind back and down into toilet also.

Then, with the speed of Bruce Lee, and dexterity of Steven Seagal..

Flush the toilet and with your fingers, shimmy the force of the fast flushing water into and around your anal sphincter.

If done correctly, your asshole should now be sparkling clean.

Wash your hands

#EmergencyBidet

whats your solution to the above if the toilet doesn't flush and you're slapping shoite around yourself?, just check for bog roll beforehand, if its not there you can revert to sock I suppose.

I dont think you really needed to specify it was the anal sphincter either