Most awkward erection/Lady Boner?

GalwayGuy2

I was reading a thread on Reddit and it got me thinking.

What's the most awkward erection/Lady Boner you've ever got?

Personally, I hate it when it happens when I'm walking around, but another moment stands out in my mind.

I was just sitting down and talking to a woman. Nothing important really, just chatting. And then, random erection. I got awkward and kind of shifted position. We kept talking, but after a while she noticed my awkward position and slowly realized. She just kind of stared at me like '...We were just talking?' Then she looked a little confused and walked out.

So, AH, whats your most awkward erection/Lady Boner experience?

Quazzie

What's a lady boner? A puddle?

MRnotlob606

i was in the bust stop last week and my friend got on an erection and stood up ,i think he has problems

Kev.

Straight away I thought of this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vGKOcZ4kp8

Diabhal Beag

Sometime around 1st year on the bus home from school. Bad combination.

Festy

Not a awkward erection or lady boner but the most annoying time to get one is when you're dying for a piss, usually first thing in the morning :mad:

kneemos

I'd lay off the Viagra dude.

suicide_circus

Hard on or wide on

Darkglasses

After sitting down for one or two hour lectures in college. Every damn time I went to stand up afterwards...

King George VI

Back when I lived at home with my parents. One morning I had just woken up, dreary eyed and tired and half asleep I went and made a cup of tea. My mam and dad started giggling as I walked by them and into the kitchen. As I made my tea I asked what was so funny and they pointed to my crotch. The button had opened on the front of my boxers and my morning wood was sticking out for the world to see. Worst part was, as I turned around to them, my ridiculously concrete penis pulled a tea towel off its hanger.

i quickly adjusted myself and we never spoke of it again.

30 seconds before the end of every single bus journey.

Mr. CooL ICE

Probably when I was 10/11 and puberty was really kicking in. I still didn't know what it was, but assumed it meant I needed to pee.

I was just watching TV one evening with my parents, got a boner in my tracksuit pants and left the room angrily. My mother asked me what was wrong. I just said "i need to go to the toilet again"

stimpson

Kev. wrote: »

Straight away I thought of this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vGKOcZ4kp8

Ron Burgundy always gives me an erection too.

Professey Chin

Standing with a group of friends wearing a tracksuit when my gf at the time just gave me a small kiss on the cheek.
Before I could adjust anything it was pointing accusingly straight out at whoever was straight across from me.
Didn't hear the end of that one for a while

fryup

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9b80J9DFp8

Czarcasm

When I was a teenager, Baywatch used be on Saturday evenings on RTE. and myself and my five brothers used sit around the tv to watch it. Jesus the opening credits wouldn't even be finished before nobody could look sideways, we all knew what each other was thinking! :pac:

Plenty of awkward boner moments since then though, but surely the prize for the most awkward boner moment ever, must go to this guy -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vvQvbkc2Mg

Daveysil15

Czarcasm wrote: »

When I was a teenager, Baywatch used be on Saturday evenings on RTE. and myself and my five brothers used sit around the tv to watch it. Jesus the opening credits wouldn't even be finished before nobody could look sideways, we all knew what each other was thinking! :pac:

Plenty of awkward boner moments since then though, but surely the prize for the most awkward boner moment ever, must go to this guy -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vvQvbkc2Mg

Back in the days when the X Factor was entertaining. Pity it went all serious.

Banjo String

I was getting a prostate exam in Tallaght hospital a few years back.

A pretty Thai nurse was performing the procedure. In the middle of the exam (yeah that part lads) she looked up at me and said "don't worry. It quite normal to get erection now"

I just said I didn't have an erection.

She replied, "no but I do!" :eek:

GalwayGuy2

I had two thoughts when watching that Xtra factor video:

!) Not bad, man, not bad.

2)...You can see it in jeans :eek:

Hmmm, I wanted to be PC and include the ladies. Lady Boner=Turned on and someone knows it.

fryup

^^^^^^^^^^

was that for real?? or did he stuff a stocking down there??

somuj

Always used to get one when going up for communion as a kid. I. reckon all the old biddies could tell.

Itwasntme.

fryup wrote: »

^^^^^^^^^^

was that for real?? or did he stuff a stocking down there??

Yeah, that did not look real.

DeadHand

I dunno, lads, looked about right to me...

Daveysil15

I used to always get them in school like this poor chap.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouW68vRsR2s

D-FENS

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

i was in the bust stop last week and my friend got on an erection and stood up ,i think he has problems

In fairness to him, a bust stop sounds sexy



Pitched a tent while getting a massage at a hotel spa in Athlone once. I'm sure a trained masseuse has seen it all before but it still felt pretty wrong as she was about 21 and I was ten years older. Told the missus afterwards and she laughed, didn't feel like so much of a perv after that.

Czarcasm

fryup wrote: »

^^^^^^^^^^

was that for real?? or did he stuff a stocking down there??

Itwasntme. wrote: »

Yeah, that did not look real.

Oh total set-up, it IS X-Factor after all!

But I'm not sure Dermot O' Leary and the guys "daughters" backstage were clued in on the set-up!

D-FENS

Festy wrote: »

Not a awkward erection or lady boner but the most annoying time to get one is when you're dying for a piss, usually first thing in the morning :mad:

Hand stand solves that

smcgiff

D-FENS wrote: »

Hand stand solves that

Yeah, a trip to the emergency room wont be long "curing" him.

Rabelais

I was at a dental hygienist a number of years back getting my teeth cleaned and polished. The hygienist was a stunning blonde lady with a wonderful Donegal accent and an ass that could be used in UN peace negotiations. She leaned over me and her hair smelled of expensive shampoo and sensuality.

I suddenly got a boner you could hang a duffel coat on. Very awkward. I apologised profusely and just wanted the ground to swallow me up. Left the clinic and headed to a dive bar where I hoovered down pints while silently cursing myself for not having said something smart and funny.

corkgsxr

Lady boner? You talking about lady boys? Being very pc

Daveysil15

Rabelais wrote: »

I was at a dental hygienist a number of years back getting my teeth cleaned and polished. The hygienist was a stunning blonde lady with a wonderful Donegal accent and an ass that could be used in UN peace negotiations. She leaned over me and her hair smelled of expensive shampoo and sensuality.

I suddenly got a boner you could hang a duffel coat on. Very awkward. I apologised profusely and just wanted the ground to swallow me up. Left the clinic and headed to a dive bar where I hoovered down pints while silently cursing myself for not having said something smart and funny.

Jasus that sounds like the opening chapter to an erotic novel. Although the Donegal accent wouldn't do it for me. I'd be afraid she'd say, "Is that a wee erection you have there?" :pac:

Bubbaclaus

Now this is pretty awkward

Czarcasm

Rabelais wrote: »

I was at a dental hygienist a number of years back getting my teeth cleaned and polished. The hygienist was a stunning blonde lady with a wonderful Donegal accent and an ass that could be used in UN peace negotiations. She leaned over me and her hair smelled of expensive shampoo and sensuality.

I suddenly got a boner you could hang a duffel coat on. Very awkward. I apologised profusely and just wanted the ground dentist to swallow me up. Left the clinic and headed to a dive bar where I hoovered down pints while silently cursing myself for not having said something smart and funny.

19543261

Rabelais wrote: »

I was at a dental hygienist a number of years back getting my teeth cleaned and polished. The hygienist was a stunning blonde lady with a wonderful Donegal accent and an ass that could be used in UN peace negotiations. She leaned over me and her hair smelled of expensive shampoo and sensuality.

I suddenly got a boner you could hang a duffel coat on. Very awkward. I apologised profusely and just wanted the ground to swallow me up. Left the clinic and headed to a dive bar where I hoovered down pints while silently cursing myself for not having said something smart and funny.

Aww What did she say?

I would have thought the discomfort of having her in your mouth would save you from your enjoyment.

Ronin247

Rabelais wrote: »

I was at a dental hygienist a number of years back getting my teeth cleaned and polished. The hygienist was a stunning blonde lady with a wonderful Donegal accent and an ass that could be used in UN peace negotiations. She leaned over me and her hair smelled of expensive shampoo and sensuality.

I suddenly got a boner you could hang a duffel coat on. Very awkward. I apologised profusely and just wanted the ground to swallow me up. Left the clinic and headed to a dive bar where I hoovered down pints while silently cursing myself for not having said something smart and funny.

You should have asked her to give your "lower bicuspid" a polish......

stoneill

Rabelais wrote: »

I was at a dental hygienist a number of years back getting my teeth cleaned and polished. The hygienist was a stunning blonde lady with a wonderful Donegal accent and an ass that could be used in UN peace negotiations. She leaned over me and her hair smelled of expensive shampoo and sensuality.

I suddenly got a boner you could hang a duffel coat on. Very awkward. I apologised profusely and just wanted the ground to swallow me up. Left the clinic and headed to a dive bar where I hoovered down pints while silently cursing myself for not having said something smart and funny.

That's not awkward - that's just a missed opportunity.

Most awkard one? - During pre-natal classes with the missus when the midwife was leaning over us to show sit down birthing positions.

NegativeCreep

Every day in secondary school when we had biology. The teacher was hot beyond words. Half Asian she was. My god she was gorgeous. Never accepted my friend request on Facebook when I graduated She did biology with me after school too because I was the only one doing higher level. Best few hours of my life, but also the most awkward :L

Daqster

GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

I was reading a thread on Reddit and it got me thinking.

You were **** to a thread on reddit and it got you cumming.

Tell the truth now.

Hagar the Nice.

Deleted User wrote: »

30 seconds before the end of every single bus journey.

You been listening to that James Blunt song again,haven't you.

Mint Aero

I was sitting at a sexy bus stop. The smell of hot rubber from buses pulling in and out coupled with the jerking motion the loose plastic seat was making as people got up and down brought the sergeant major general to full attention.

Just then a little old lady stood before me and dropped her bus ticket. Oh no I thought. She asked would I get it as it blew into the middle of the street. I panicked, I looked her straight in the eye, her face wrinkled and blue veined. I instantly lost my erection. Got the ticket for her, not a bother.

holystungun9

Diabhal Beag wrote: »

Sometime around 1st year on the bus home from school. Bad combination.

Now I know why they called those old buses "bone shakers".

holystungun9

Bubbaclaus wrote: »

Now this is pretty awkward

He passes the 'you don't have to be gay to do ballet test'.

Moomat

On a packed nudist beach in Spain. Lying on my stomach checking out a fine thing lying spread eagle in front of me. Mind wandering, safe in the knowledge that I was privately digging a hole in the sand. Along came a gust of wind that blew the umbrella my missus was using about 20 metres down the beach. Instinct kicked in and up I jumped, it was like the evolution of man as I was only able to walk up straight when I got to the umbrella.

wandatowell

I was going to Munster vs Perpignan the other week with my girlfriends sister. Yapping about about random sh*t when I realized I had a hard on. Had a jacket on my lap so she didnt have a clue but the longer I had it the harder it became to not think about it and the more I tried not to think about it the hard it got.


Munster won so all was well at the end of the day.

The Diabolical Monocle

Rabelais wrote: »

silently cursing myself for not having said something smart and funny.

You were in an inyourendoh rich environment, filled with opportunities like 'mouth' 'polish' or 'tool'.

You need to watch more 'carry on' films.

aujopimur

A friend went for a massage, get's a stiffy, the nice oriental lady upon seeing his predicament says " You want ****?" and then leaves the room, on returning 5 mns. later says to him "You finish ****".

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

Czarcasm

I just remembered this incident from a while back, DEFINITELY most awkward boner ever -

Czarcasm wrote: »

Could never wear briefs, had a bad experience with a pair of speedos when training as a lifeguard years ago. I'd an absolute cracker for a swimming partner, and there's two ways you can carry a person through the water- grip their chin and drag them; or place your arm across their shoulder across their chest and carry them on your hip.

As a 17 year old and my head resting on her sideboob, I was trying my best to will the snorkel to get the fcuk down. We got to the bank where she was supposed to pull me out of the water, I tried to say "I'm not read... aaaagh!", as she hauled me out of the water and I was supposed to play unconscious. Don't ask me what I was thinking hoping nobody would notice! :pac:

Worse again when the eggs popped out either side of the leg openings with about 20 people standing around me...


Nowadays it's Penneys 3 for €10 s stretchy jocks - keeps the undercarriage in place centre stage as opposed to loose jocks where the undercarriage slips down the left leg and there's no disguising a boner

Daveysil15

Moomat wrote: »

On a packed nudist beach in Spain. Lying on my stomach checking out a fine thing lying spread eagle in front of me. Mind wandering, safe in the knowledge that I was privately digging a hole in the sand. Along came a gust of wind that blew the umbrella my missus was using about 20 metres down the beach. Instinct kicked in and up I jumped, it was like the evolution of man as I was only able to walk up straight when I got to the umbrella.

Good job it was the umbrella that blew away and not her bra. You wouldn't have been able to hide your lad as inconspicuously then.

Canard

When I was in 5th year I was in the middle of the first of three history classes that day, hated the subject beyond words, so my mind wandered. I wasn't even thinking of anything sexual as far as I remember, but yeah...it didn't really matter anyway since I had the desk over me.

Then the principal came in and asked me to step outside. I was sh1tting it because I had to walk out the door in front of the entire class and I had no way of waistbanding it before that! The fear must have been visible because the principal was like "hey, dont worry, you're not in any trouble or anything". Think it went down pretty quickly then by necessity.

Sir Osis of Liver.

If Pakie got a knighthood would his missus be Lady Boner?