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Funny one sentence story

  • 19-12-2013 9:02am
    #1
    MFdaveIreland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 588 ✭✭✭


    Il try again as it seemed to relocate in chit chat, copied from idea on forum4farming, just for fun! complete the next bit


    He realised as he had been farming for 20 years....


«134

Comments

  • #2
    Rovi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,570 ✭✭✭Rovi


    [MOD]

    If this one stays on farming topics and doesn't wander off into general nonsense (like the last one), it'll stay out here as a thread of its own.
    Otherwise, it's off to the Chit Chat abyss with it...

    Oh yeah, it needs to be suitable for a 'General' audience too!

    [/MOD]


  • #3
    Sam Kade
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,313 ✭✭✭✭Sam Kade


    And still had no money


  • #4
    reilig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭reilig


    Even though he was milking 200 cows and teagasc told him he should be minted.


  • #5
    Sharpshooter82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,825 ✭✭✭Sharpshooter82


    His operation was just like how the new zealand lads do it....


  • #6
    jersey101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,190 ✭✭✭jersey101


    With the best herd of jex cows anyone ever saw, but little did he know his wife was spending all his money.....


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  • #7
    MFdaveIreland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 588 ✭✭✭MFdaveIreland


    on ACRs, and fancy sheds...


  • #8
    redzerologhlen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,329 ✭✭✭redzerologhlen


    jersey101 wrote: »
    With the best herd of jex cows anyone ever saw, but little did he know his wife was spending all his money.....

    High yielding Holstein semen because...


  • #9
    onyerbikepat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,921 ✭✭✭onyerbikepat


    He realised as he had been farming for 20 years.... when a gust of wind took his cap clean out over the hedge and he thought - Fook this for a game of cowboys.


  • #10
    have2flushtwice
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,434 ✭✭✭have2flushtwice


    And went off to the coop to get a new one. But before he got the cheque book out he saw. . . .


  • #11
    Mac Taylor
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,747 ✭✭✭Mac Taylor


    Bob Charles paying off his bills early and realised......


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  • #12
    tabby aspreme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,100 ✭✭✭tabby aspreme


    Tumble dried cash is as common as....


  • #13
    reilig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭reilig


    teats on a bull!


  • #14
    MFdaveIreland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 588 ✭✭✭MFdaveIreland


    he finally bought the cap and on his way home spotted


  • #15
    moy83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,701 ✭✭✭moy83


    MFdaveIreland wrote: »
    he finally bought the cap and on his way home spotted

    The neighbours ch bull broke into his yearling heifers


  • #16
    hugo29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,267 ✭✭✭hugo29


    moy83 wrote: »
    The neighbours ch bull broke into his yearling heifers

    and was wearing his old hat


  • #17
    GERMAN ROCKS
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,796 ✭✭✭GERMAN ROCKS


    when all of a sudden his wife appeared


  • #18
    jersey101
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,190 ✭✭✭jersey101


    GERMAN ROCKS wrote: »
    when all of a sudden his wife appeared

    out of the bushes with the vet.....


  • #19
    MfMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,507 ✭✭✭MfMan


    reading through the pre-nup agreement.....


  • #20
    reilig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭reilig


    and shouting "what does it mean when it says that you get half of my land but I don't get any of yours"


  • #21
    Sharpshooter82
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,825 ✭✭✭Sharpshooter82


    the vet then took of across the field....


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  • #22
    MFdaveIreland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 588 ✭✭✭MFdaveIreland


    because he jagged himself with estrumate


  • #23
    redzerologhlen
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,329 ✭✭✭redzerologhlen


    Sharpshooter82 wrote: »
    the vet then took of across the field....

    As did the bull when he had tended to the heifers!!


  • #24
    jerdee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 383 ✭✭jerdee


    Sharpshooter82 wrote: »
    the vet then took of across the field....

    as she was a lady with a bottle of Betamax when


  • #25
    lakill Farm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,735 ✭✭✭lakill Farm


    He realised as he had been farming for 20 years....[/QUOTE]

    and never paid a penny tax :D


  • #26
    jomoloney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 859 ✭✭✭jomoloney


    jerdee wrote: »
    as she was a lady with a bottle of Betamax when


    she spotted the neighbour's massey 35 with ...


  • #27
    MFdaveIreland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 588 ✭✭✭MFdaveIreland


    jomoloney wrote: »
    she spotted the neighbour's massey 35 with ...

    2500 gallon tanker full of ...


  • #28
    fastrac
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 720 ✭✭✭fastrac


    the original Butler lights on the roundy mudguards


  • #29
    lakill Farm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,735 ✭✭✭lakill Farm


    MFdaveIreland wrote: »
    2500 gallon tanker full of ...

    the illegal vodka seized


  • #30
    MFdaveIreland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 588 ✭✭✭MFdaveIreland


    lakill Farm wrote: »
    the illegal vodka seized

    In the people's republic of cork


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  • #31
    J.O. Farmer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,538 ✭✭✭J.O. Farmer


    MFdaveIreland wrote: »
    In the people's republic of cork

    By those cute hoors


  • #32
    Sam Kade
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,313 ✭✭✭✭Sam Kade


    called Kerrymen


  • #33
    Sam Kade
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,313 ✭✭✭✭Sam Kade


    when he suddenly found out the new cap he bought was secondhand and belonged to Mickie Healy Rae


  • #34
    J.O. Farmer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,538 ✭✭✭J.O. Farmer


    He noticed the pattern on it was more of a stain of the cow s### variety


  • #35
    reilig
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,401 ✭✭✭reilig


    J.O. Farmer wrote: »
    He noticed the pattern on it was more of a stain of the cow s### variety

    and the smell would knock ya even if


  • #36
    Farmer Pudsey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,326 ✭✭✭Farmer Pudsey


    He realised as he had been farming for 20 years.... was unmarried(like Bob) but at least he had his sheep


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  • #37
    red bull
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,385 ✭✭✭red bull


    In another mans field


  • #38
    J.O. Farmer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,538 ✭✭✭J.O. Farmer


    Farmer Pudsey wrote: »
    He realised as he had been farming for 20 years.... was unmarried(like Bob) but at least he had his sheep
    And all the neighbours thought that guy needs a wife instead of those sheep.


  • #39
    tabby aspreme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,100 ✭✭✭tabby aspreme


    skin jacket for the big matches played on...


  • #40
    Farmer Pudsey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,326 ✭✭✭Farmer Pudsey


    Still on the sheep theme

    He realised as he had been farming for 20 years.... and still wondered why the women were few and the sheep were nervous


  • #41
    Sam Kade
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,313 ✭✭✭✭Sam Kade


    until a neighbour told him the reason


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  • #42
    gozunda
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,996 ✭✭✭✭gozunda


    - twas all those tourists roving his farm, taking liberties and photos of the sheep, that had to be it....


  • #43
    Donaldio
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 79 ✭✭Donaldio


    He decided then he would adopt a secret alter ego and useing an empty shed as his base of operations wrek havoc upon the local town...


  • #44
    J.O. Farmer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,538 ✭✭✭J.O. Farmer


    Donaldio wrote: »
    He decided then he would adopt a secret alter ego and useing an empty shed as his base of operations wrek havoc upon a local town...

    Instead of upon the poor sheep.


  • #45
    Malcolm.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 168 ✭✭Malcolm.


    but then he realised the guards would only shoot him, his neighbour would get the land, and he hadn't paid his tv licience


  • #46
    Farmer Pudsey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,326 ✭✭✭Farmer Pudsey


    Malcolm. wrote: »
    but then he realised the guards would only shoot him, his neighbour would get the land, and he hadn't paid his tv licience
    and he would have to pay alimony to the sheep when they divorced him.


  • #47
    Malcolm.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 168 ✭✭Malcolm.


    so he decided to go to his local FF TD


  • #48
    Farmer Pudsey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,326 ✭✭✭Farmer Pudsey


    Malcolm. wrote: »
    so he decided to go to his local FF TD

    who demanded a brown envelope to forget about the sheep.


  • #49
    Malcolm.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 168 ✭✭Malcolm.


    but he hadn't any stamps so he went to the post office and collected his subsidy cheque for doing nothing


  • #50
    J.O. Farmer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,538 ✭✭✭J.O. Farmer


    And then he called to his lawyer about backdating a prenup


  • #51
    Donaldio
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 79 ✭✭Donaldio


    When his wife apeared at the door dressed as santa with an axe in her hand


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