Child cruelty?

McIrish_

Hi guys,

A few days ago I went to the barber to get my hair cut. While I was waiting there was a kid roughly about 4 or 5 years of age also getting his hair cut. He was crying (as I'm sure it was prob one of his first hair cuts) and looked extremely nervous.

Anyway the father of the child storms over to the kid and starts shouting at him telling his to stop and then hit the kid. Everybody in the barbers was shocked and appalled at what was happening. The kid again started crying shortly after only this time the father storms over again and starts shouting at the kid literally holding the kid by the neck telling him to shut the f up along with a host of other insults.

The father looked extremely threatening so I didn't have the courage to say something. Looking back on it now I prob should have told the father to stop. The entire barbers didn't want to say anything as I'm fully aware that they were also in a state of shock


What would you guys do if this ever happened?

Could you really approach a stranger telling him that you don't agree with his parenting skills or how would that sound?

camel jockey

Call the cops?

Stheno

camel jockey wrote: »

Call the cops?

Same here perhaps, I'd not confront them directly tbh

camel jockey

Stheno wrote: »

Same here perhaps, I'd not confront them directly tbh

On the QT...

spank_inferno

If this actually happened & you did nothing then frankly shame on you OP.

Violent assaults are not ok just cos its from a parent.

lahalane

I think I would probably have just sat there uncomfortably and pretended it wasn't happening. That's my way of dealing with all problems like this. Ignore and continue on with my own life. It's working fantastically so far.

Seachmall

Calling the Gardaì would probably be the best option, not sure what saying anything myself would achieve.

I wouldn't have done anything if I was there though.

The Backwards Man

Did the barber do anything about it?

CrazyRabbit

I would have, and still would now call the Gardai to report a child being choked and assaulted. The barbers probably have CCTV which hopefully they keep for a week or so.

At the very least they can flag the family to the HSE who can research the family situation and take action if necessary.

I would not want to be that person that did nothing only to see a news story about the child's death a few weeks/months later. Better safe than sorry when dealing with a violent parent.

spank_inferno

People honestly would not intervene if seeing a child be violently assaulted.... twice?

Sunnyisland

I would have told him to stop abusing the child.

camel jockey

Did you miss the part about the father being extremely threatening?

lahalane

spank_inferno wrote: »

People honestly would not intervene if seeing a child be violently assaulted.... twice?

Not my child, not my problem. The world is a sucky place but I can't change it so I've learned to accept it and just do my own thing.

Sunnyisland

camel jockey wrote: »

Did you miss the part about the father being extremely threatening?

If that's to me, no I didn't.

TeddyTedson

That's terrible. What ever about hitting kids you can't hit them when they're only 5 or less.
If you're in shock you most likely won't do anything because you can't believe it just happened. The barber should have said something to be honest.

kerash

lahalane wrote: »

Not my child, not my problem. The world is a sucky place but I can't change it so I've learned to accept it and just do my own thing.

Nothing changes because too many people stand back and do nothing when they see something wrong.

camel jockey

realies wrote: »

If that's to me, no I didn't.

No, Spanky Inferno. He double posted and I was quoting the second one but it disappeared.

Muise...

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Did the barber do anything about it?

The barber not only had a duty to help, he was perfectly placed to say something like, "I can't cut the child's hair while he is upset" which might have diffused things.

Tasden

OP everyone on here can say what they think they'd do but nobody can say with absolute certainty until they're put in that position. Of course everyone is going to hope they would intervene or call the guards if they found themselves in a similar position.

poundapunnet

Jesus that must have been horrible, can't honestly say I'd have the guts to stick up to someone but I don't know how the hell you'd go about contacting the gards over it either, are there cameras in the barbers?

If that's what he's like in public god love that child at home

Sunnyisland

lahalane wrote: »

Not my child, not my problem. The world is a sucky place but I can't change it so I've learned to accept it and just do my own thing.

Terrible attitude to have IMO, that's how these bully's get away with so much.

Gumbi

spank_inferno wrote: »

People honestly would not intervene if seeing a child be violently assaulted.... twice?

It's called mob mentality.

My name is URL

Sounds like a **** parent but I'm not sure what exactly the Gardai could have done about it. Did he actually assault or cause harm to the kid or was he just trying to calm him down in an utterly retarded and unsuccessful way?

kerash

McIrish_ wrote: »

Hi guys,

A few days ago I went to the barber to get my hair cut. While I was waiting there was a kid roughly about 4 or 5 years of age also getting his hair cut. He was crying (as I'm sure it was prob one of his first hair cuts) and looked extremely nervous.

Anyway the father of the child storms over to the kid and starts shouting at him telling his to stop and then hit the kid. Everybody in the barbers was shocked and appalled at what was happening. The kid again started crying shortly after only this time the father storms over again and starts shouting at the kid literally holding the kid by the neck telling him to shut the f up along with a host of other insults.

The father looked extremely threatening so I didn't have the courage to say something. Looking back on it now I prob should have told the father to stop. The entire barbers didn't want to say anything as I'm fully aware that they were also in a state of shock


What would you guys do if this ever happened?

Could you really approach a stranger telling him that you don't agree with his parenting skills or how would that sound?

That's a horrible and upsetting thing to happen. My two cents;

Those are not parenting skills, that's abuse. I'd tell him to stop and take what comes, better me than the child. I would contact the guards to report it.

meoklmrk91

I understand your reluctance to say something to him at the time OP, but I would encourage you to make a complaint to the gardai or the hse, if that's the way he treats the poor kid in public, I don't even want to imagine what he does behind closed doors.

poundapunnet

spank_inferno wrote: »

People honestly would not intervene if seeing a child be violently assaulted.... twice?

well I could lie and do a standard AH post about how many times I told him to f*ck off and what I'd do to his scrotum with barbed wire and how speechless/applauding the whole place was but honestly, unfortunately, yes, I'd probably be too shocked and intimidated to do anything. So would most people, it's sh*tty but it's true

Sunnyisland

I would be of the thinking if one person there had stood up to this cruelty more would have joined in,


I betcha if it was an dog or cat getting abused he be stopped pretty quick,people can be strange.

lahalane

realies wrote: »

Terrible attitude to have IMO, that's how these bully's get away with so much.

If we could stop bullying it would be stopped by now. I don't see the point of constantly worrying myself over incidents like this, that will always be around, so instead I choose to ignore it. Makes my life easier and I think you have to be selfish like that sometimes.

spank_inferno

lahalane wrote: »

Not my child, not my problem. The world is a sucky place but I can't change it so I've learned to accept it and just do my own thing.

That frankly is a pathetic brand of cowardice you have friend.
Nice rational though.

Sunnyisland

lahalane wrote: »

If we could stop bullying it would be stopped by now. I don't see the point of constantly worrying myself over incidents like this, that will always be around, so instead I choose to ignore it. Makes my life easier and I think you have to be selfish like that sometimes.

Well I do understand where your coming from lahalane but thank god there are people out there who do care and would have done something.

My name is URL

realies wrote: »

I would be of the thinking if one person there had stood up to this cruelty more would have joined in,


I betcha if it was an dog or cat getting abused he be stopped pretty quick,people can be strange.

And then what? The father takes his kid home and potentially beats seven shades of **** out of him for causing people to confront the old man?

Go into any town and you'll more than likely encounter a parent smack or scream at a child.. should you stand up to it in every case? Sometimes doing nothing is the best option for everyone involved.

lahalane

kerash wrote: »

Nothing changes because too many people stand back and do nothing when they see something wrong.

Correct. That's not going to change any time soon either. Such is life.

Chucken

lahalane wrote: »

Correct. That's not going to change any time soon either. Such is life.

Reminds me of a poem by Martin Niemöller

Muise...

My name is URL wrote: »

And then what? The father takes his kid home and potentially beats seven shades of **** out of him for causing people to confront the old man?

Go into any town and you'll more than likely encounter a parent smack or scream at a child.. should you stand up to it in every case? Sometimes doing nothing is the best option for everyone involved.

True, but the barber could - and should IMO - have made it clear that smacking the child was unacceptable on his premises. At least then the father would have had some censure and the child would not feel that everybody else is against him too.

lahalane

spank_inferno wrote: »

That frankly is a pathetic brand of cowardice you have friend.
Nice rational though.

It's hardly cowardice? It's not fear that would keep me in my seat, it's lack of interest.

Sunnyisland

lahalane wrote: »

Correct. That's not going to change any time soon either. Such is life.

So thE abuse schools, the abuse to the women etc etc you would just ignore it ,that's terrible and no wonder it went on for so long, I be ashamed to know someone with this attitude.

lahalane

realies wrote: »

Well I do understand where your coming from lahalane but thank god there are people out there who do care and would have done something.

Hopefully it would end well for them and everybody else.

Sunnyisland

lahalane wrote: »

It's hardly cowardice? It's not fear that would keep me in my seat, it's lack of interest.

Are you male or female ?

lahalane

realies wrote: »

So thE abuse schools, the abuse to the women etc etc you would just ignore it ,that's terrible and no wonder it went on for so long, I be ashamed to know someone with this attitude.

I think the people who are shocked about it and do nothing are worse.

And I'm male, in answer to your other question

Sunnyisland

My name is URL wrote: »

And then what? The father takes his kid home and potentially beats seven shades of **** out of him for causing people to confront the old man?

Go into any town and you'll more than likely encounter a parent smack or scream at a child.. should you stand up to it in every case? Sometimes doing nothing is the best option for everyone involved.

There is no way I would sit in a barbers or pub or restaurant and sit there and watch a child being abused, no way. That's what this thread is about.

Wacker The Attacker

McIrish_ wrote: »

Hi guys,

A few days ago I went to the barber to get my hair cut. While I was waiting there was a kid roughly about 4 or 5 years of age also getting his hair cut. He was crying (as I'm sure it was prob one of his first hair cuts) and looked extremely nervous.

Anyway the father of the child storms over to the kid and starts shouting at him telling his to stop and then hit the kid. Everybody in the barbers was shocked and appalled at what was happening. The kid again started crying shortly after only this time the father storms over again and starts shouting at the kid literally holding the kid by the neck telling him to shut the f up along with a host of other insults.

The father looked extremely threatening so I didn't have the courage to say something. Looking back on it now I prob should have told the father to stop. The entire barbers didn't want to say anything as I'm fully aware that they were also in a state of shock


What would you guys do if this ever happened?

Could you really approach a stranger telling him that you don't agree with his parenting skills or how would that sound?

Good enough for the little bollix.

A good crack on the arse will do him the world of good

My name is URL

Muise... wrote: »

True, but the barber could - and should IMO - have made it clear that smacking the child was unacceptable on his premises. At least then the father would have had some censure and the child would not feel that everybody else is against him too.

Yeah, I agree with that, and think that any decent barber or hair dresser would refuse to cut the hair of an obviously distressed kid. All we have to go on is the word of the OP though. Perhaps the barber read the situation differently. Everyone's assuming that the guy meant to cause actual harm to the kid, but for all we know he was simply trying to calm the child down. I'm not defending that sort of rough parenting fwiw, the guy sounds like a dick whether violent or not.. but it's easy to make judgements and say you'd do this or that while sitting in front of a computer screen.

I wonder if any of the people here saying they would have stepped in have ever done so in the past, after seeing a kid get scolded or slapped around the ear in public before...

Wacker The Attacker

realies wrote: »

There is no way I would sit in a barbers or pub or restaurant and sit there and watch a child being abused, no way. That's what this thread is about.

I've never laid a glove on a child despite the above relativity poor attempt to gain a cheap laugh. However, if you ever poked your nose in to my business like that you'd slapped be straight into your box.

Chucken

My name is URL wrote: »

And then what? The father takes his kid home and potentially beats seven shades of **** out of him for causing people to confront the old man?

Go into any town and you'll more than likely encounter a parent smack or scream at a child.. should you stand up to it in every case? Sometimes doing nothing is the best option for everyone involved.

Do you honestly think people like this need an excuse to be a brute?

If he behaves like that in public, I shudder to think what he does behind closed doors.

I'm not saying to confront him but ring the guards and make sure that little child is safe.

Sunnyisland

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I've never laid a glove on a child despite the above relativity poor attempt to gain a cheap laugh. However, if you ever poked your nose in to my business like that you'd slapped be straight into your box.

And I would put you through the ****ing window

spank_inferno

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I've never laid a glove on a child despite the above relativity poor attempt to gain a cheap laugh. However, if you ever poked your nose in to my business like that you'd slapped be straight into your box.

So what you are saying... if Ive got you right.

If you violently assault your child, twice, you will then be violent towards anyone who takes issue with you?

lahalane

realies wrote: »

And I would put you through the ****ing window

And I'd stay sitting in my seat, glad I didn't get involved, while the two of ye knocked the heads off of each other.

JuliusCaesar

My name is URL wrote: »

Go into any town and you'll more than likely encounter a parent smack or scream at a child.. should you stand up to it in every case? Sometimes doing nothing is the best option for everyone involved.

I was on a plane some time ago and there was a couple with a baby in the row across from me. The baby was crying, so they smacked it to get it to stop.

The baby cried harder, as one would expect.



Did I do anything? No, at the time I couldn't see how to intervene diplomatically. It was only later that I thought how to do it. But I will the next time!

Wacker The Attacker

realies wrote: »

And I would put you through the ****ing window

There there honey bunny

Wacker The Attacker

spank_inferno wrote: »

So what you are saying... if Ive got you right.

If you violently assault your child, twice, you will then be violent towards anyone who takes issue with you?

I've stated quite clearly that I've never laid a glove on a child. However, if you ever felt the urge to stick your nose in where its not wanted, you'd be told in no uncertain terms what to do with yourself.

ALiasEX

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

I was on a plane some time ago and there was a couple with a baby in the row across from me. The baby was crying, so they smacked it to get it to stop.

The baby cried harder, as one would expect.



Did I do anything? No, at the time I couldn't see how to intervene diplomatically. It was only later that I thought how to do it. But I will the next time!

How would you intervene?