Does it matter if you dont socialise with co-workers?

Wanderer2010

Lot of work-related threads at the moment. In that spirit, do you think its important to mix with co workers or in your experience is it more important to be a good worker? Ive worked in a good few places and in the main, I see it that the employer puts more stock in your ability as a worker than as a gossip. Do you really have to share any of your personal life in the workplace, you are certainly not obliged to, its called work for a reason!

I worked in one factory where the lads did everything together- work, drink, holidays etc and if you werent like that you were somehow weird. So its different for a lot of places. Thoughts?

martinedwards

why confuse work colleagues with friends?

Stheno

Just do what you need to, no need to have your work colleagues be your new best friends to be honest.

Why must you be a gossip if you socialise with your co-workers?

OneArt

I work part-time in a language school, so the only time I'm "working" is when I'm teaching. In between classes people just chill in the staff room and bitch about pay. It's a lot of fun.

If I were working in a restaurant/office or other job where I was required to work alongside my colleagues, I'd be more work-focused when with my colleagues rather than bother gossiping or moaning about things. I guess I would consider a few of my colleagues to be friends, but I wouldn't hang out with them every single weekend.

Mr. CooL ICE

When I started, yes. I attended every social gathering, be it farewell drinks or official company outing, as I considered it important to get to know my new colleagues.

However, 4 years later, I hate my job and resent my co-workers for no good reason. A night of free drinks isn't enough to tempt me as I now consider every minute outside of work to be therapeutic.

stimpson

Most politics gets done in the pub. Last place I worked in we had a clique that would go to the pub once or twice a week for lunch. Most of the company would be in the pub Friday evening and there were many official nights out. We had some savage debauched nights out. Makes for good team building.

Where I work now there is nowhere close by. The team eats together in the canteen but there isn't the same sense if camaraderie you get when you've been lap dancing with your boss.

MadsL

Deleted User wrote: »

Why must you be a gossip if you socialise with your co-workers?

Does Dav have a girlfriend?

Wanderer2010

stimpson wrote: »

you've been lap dancing with your boss.

Wow I could never picture being on such terms with the people over you!

DoozerT6

You spend a good proportion of your waking hours at work. It's nice to get along with them, even if only on a surface level.

Where I work, there's a lot of chat about their kids, holidays, and of course X-Factor etc. But no malicious gossip or backstabbing thank God. Not every workplace is a hotbed of brown-nosing and jealousy. If most people you work with are nice and normal, what's wrong with organising a few nights out throughout the year, even if only to see what everyone looks like all dressied up

Rubberchikken

it's nice to get along in a sociable, pleasant way with co-workers.
couple of nights a year to the pub for a pint or two is hardly going to eat into anyones home time.
think there's enough crappy co-workers so if you have good ones be grateful

jimmycrackcorm

No

/Thread

jimmycrackcorm

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

No

/Thread

Thread Closed

MadsL

Worst question to be asked by a co-worker when starting a new job.

"So, are you on facebook?"

stimpson

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Wow I could never picture being on such terms with the people over you!

I said with you boss, not for your boss.

But that could be good for your career too.

Wanderer2010

stimpson wrote: »

I said with you boss, not for your boss.

But that could be good for your career too.

Even with the boss, a bit weird no? He/She is the same person who controls your career could you really cut that loose with them!

Tom_Cruise

If i had a job, i think my co-workers would probably hate me just for being me, make fun of me and possibly even physically attack me for no real reason.

stimpson

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Even with the boss, a bit weird no? He/She is the same person who controls your career could you really cut that loose with them!

Meh. What happens on a night out stays on a night out. He has more to lose than me at the end of the day.

Savoir.Faire

It's a double-edged sword. It can be enjoyable to meet your colleagues in a social context, and a few tipples can lubricate the cogs of conversation and the gregarious nature of the evening.

But it can also lubricate other things. Nothing worse than arriving into the office of a Monday morning after being caught, trousers around your ankles, in flagrante delicto with a female colleague by the Junior Vice President.

Awkward in the extreme.

jimgoose

Occasionally I have a few saucepans with a crew from the office - maybe once or twice a year. It's not something I'm hugely interested in, and it's not a big deal.

SimonLynch

Tom_Cruise wrote: »

If i had a job, i think my co-workers would probably hate me just for being me, make fun of me and possibly even physically attack me for no real reason.

I watched Oblivion last night, I'd probably join in, there is a reason.

For Forks Sake

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

I worked in one factory where the lads did everything together- work, drink, holidays etc and if you werent like that you were somehow weird. So its different for a lot of places. Thoughts?

Wasn't a knicker factory on Coronation St was it?

Brego888

Who would I have sex with if I didn't socialise with my female colleagues?

MadsL

jimgoose wrote: »

Occasionally I have a few saucepans with a crew from the office - maybe once or twice a year. It's not something I'm hugely interested in, and it's not a big deal.

I love that in Ireland you can use any noun to describe alcohol and people know exactly what you mean.

Will we go for a few boots, lads?

sonic85

id rather pull my finger nails out with a pliers than socialise with some of the d!ckheads I work with.

work is work there are no friends in a work environment - I find anyway

nlgbbbblth

Depends.

Over the years I have worked with plenty of pricks but I've also met people whom I consider genuine friends.

In my opinion a general "I work with these people, why would I want to drink with them?" attitude just stinks of aloof, anti-social misanthropy.

Mickey H

Brego888 wrote: »

Who would I have sex with if I didn't socialise with my female colleagues?

Your hand.

anncoates

Don't go out now much as I have kids but my work crowd are sound enough and I enjoy a pint with them.

To be fair , I always take these workplace angst threads with a pinch of salt because most places I've ever worked have ad a smattering of mongs but generally there has always been more than enough people to enjoy an occasional pint with.

Brego888

Mickey H wrote: »

Your hand.

And miss out on the awkward small talk in the staff canteen the next day at work? Nah

anncoates

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

In my opinion a general "I work with these people, why would I want to drink with them?" attitude just stinks of aloof, anti-social misanthropy.

The kind of people that have an existential crisis about small talk in the canteen or people bringing in their babies to the office for 10 whole minutes.

Get the fuck over yourself, folks.

Stheno

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Wow I could never picture being on such terms with the people over you!

I had this happen to me on a secondment, weekly work trip was to the local lapdancing club (this was in the states) and I was not excused.

I just stayed sober and put up with it.

It was actually ok, interesting to see how the club operated and how the guys lost their inhibitions regardless of what colleagues were about.

diomed

I'm retired. Where I worked there was a group that drank in a local hotel every Friday night. It was a brown-nosing gathering, and strangely the attendees moved up the promotion ladder.
How low do you want to stoop?

H2UMrsRobinson

Some of my best nites out have been with work pals, both in my current job and previous one - before that worked in uk where there is far less of a "piss up with the colleagues" culture. In my limited experience anyways. Most of the people are work with are my age or younger so it keeps me young. Last Fridays one was a real humdinger, fear factor in full effect Monday morning. Luckily no managers in attendance so didn't harm my prospects. One girl woke up with a phone full of pics that wouldn't be out of place in The Hangover. Nipples n everything. Hope they weren't mine.

P_1

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

In my opinion a general "I work with these people, why would I want to drink with them?" attitude just stinks of aloof, anti-social misanthropy.

Not really to be honest. Some people actually prefer to just do their own thing after clocking out rather than socialising with the work crowd. Nothing anti-social or misanthropic about that in my eyes.

I have made great friends with some people I work with, we would go out almost every week, call around to each other houses watching games, playing darts, drinking cans etc. A group of us have gone away on the beer abroad etc on a few occasions etc too.

If find it very strange that people don't mix with the people they work with. As I'm living a few hours from home at the moment the work crowd are my main group of friends here.

carlmango11

sonic85 wrote: »

work is work there are no friends in a work environment - I find anyway

It's also where you spend 8 hours a day. It's a lot nicer to spend those hours with people you get along with.

pragmatic1

I'm pleasant to them and have good time for a few of them. But it's essentially like school. I prefer to spend my freetime with close friends and family.

Maximus Alexander

Some of the best nights out I've had in the last couple of years have been with colleagues. I suppose it depends on the line of work, and I am pretty lucky to work with a good crew. I

f you think about it though, you spend a lot of your waking life with the people who work along side you and often have a similar educational background and share some interests, so I don't see why you wouldn't get along with some of them well enough to go out for a few bookshelves.

Galwayguy35

No interest in socialising with them.

RayM

I don't think socialising with them regularly outside of work is that important, but getting along well with your colleagues generally makes a shit job a bit less intolerable. Going to work every day and not really conversing with anyone would be quite grim, I think.

Viva La Gloria

I get on really well with everyone but I never socialise with them outside of work. It's strange, but I guess I feel like a bit of an outsider interest/hobbies wise so don't really feel like I can relate with them on a social level when I'm not in work; like there'd be nothing to talk about maybe? But I do have a lot of craic with them when I am in work so that's good

SusieBlue

Maybe its because I work in very young environment (the oldest staff member is 24, our top managers are 27 and 29 respectively), or maybe because I only work part time because I'm in college, but I socialise with my workmates all the time.

I work with some of my very best friends. We regularly go out clubbing together and our staff parties are legendary. Almost all the staff have gotten off with another member of staff at one point or another, the managers know this, they were even present for some of it, and they aren't bothered.

At our last staff party the managers ordered large bottles of sambuca and started pouring them down employees throats as part of a game.

Probably very unprofessional, and unusual to have such a relaxed working environment, but I like it.

I don't imagine I'll ever have another job where when my manager greets me every day with "What's up, fúcker?". I'm going to enjoy it while I'm here

nlgbbbblth

P_1 wrote: »

Not really to be honest. Some people actually prefer to just do their own thing after clocking out rather than socialising with the work crowd. Nothing anti-social or misanthropic about that in my eyes.

Why apply such a rigid and unbending rule?

What happens if you click with someone in your workplace - same interests, hobbies etc? Do you refuse to socialise with them regardless?

Colleagues and friends need not be mutually exclusive.

Life isn't black and white.

ElizaT33

Im in an "alien" situation - I work for 1 person - all on "my own" ....! Be grateful for your social outings ....! I've none:(. But have 2 say my boss of 15 years (!) is a lovely person. I work half the time on my own - but have lots of nice people Im friendly with at the end of the phone line ....! (Does that count?)

P_1

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

Why apply such a rigid and unbending rule?

What happens if you click with someone in your workplace - same interests, hobbies etc? Do you refuse to socialise with them regardless?

Colleagues and friends need not be mutually exclusive.

Life isn't black and white.

To be honest I think you might have misread my point. I was actually challenging another posters attitude of 'people who don't want to associate with their work colleagues outside of working hours are automatically to be classed as anti-social misanthropes'.

nlgbbbblth

P_1 wrote: »

To be honest I think you might have misread my point. I was actually challenging another posters attitude of 'people who don't want to associate with their work colleagues outside of working hours are automatically to be classed as anti-social misanthropes'.

That's the thing it's all relative to how they looked before. But if one doesn't take into account the awful shortcomings of previous presentations and just measures these up against stuff like Doctor Who, I can see how confusion may arise.

But that's the case with most things compared to the care Doctor Who has had I find. It's the gold standard.

It doesn't make the current Avengers remasters any less welcome, for me. I love having them in watchable quality at long last - the Kult/Contender offerings on VHS and DVD you'd be lucky to get through a whole release without some kind of problem. It was lovely they were putting out so much stuff but I don't miss those presentations one bit. Ditto their Professionals analogue and digital releases, thanks and all that, you had my money and I watched the stuff but it's long overdue to say goodbye to all those.

Carmoll

I have a long commute to / from work, I occasionally have lunch with colleagues but have hardly ever socialised after work , I just want to go home !! I get on well with my colleagues but the commute is a big factor for me.

Maximus Alexander

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

That's the thing it's all relative to how they looked before. But if one doesn't take into account the awful shortcomings of previous presentations and just measures these up against stuff like Doctor Who, I can see how confusion may arise.

But that's the case with most things compared to the care Doctor Who has had I find. It's the gold standard.

It doesn't make the current Avengers remasters any less welcome, for me. I love having them in watchable quality at long last - the Kult/Contender offerings on VHS and DVD you'd be lucky to get through a whole release without some kind of problem. It was lovely they were putting out so much stuff but I don't miss those presentations one bit. Ditto their Professionals analogue and digital releases, thanks and all that, you had my money and I watched the stuff but it's long overdue to say goodbye to all those.

What?

DoozerT6

nlgbbbblth wrote: »

That's the thing it's all relative to how they looked before. But if one doesn't take into account the awful shortcomings of previous presentations and just measures these up against stuff like Doctor Who, I can see how confusion may arise.

But that's the case with most things compared to the care Doctor Who has had I find. It's the gold standard.

It doesn't make the current Avengers remasters any less welcome, for me. I love having them in watchable quality at long last - the Kult/Contender offerings on VHS and DVD you'd be lucky to get through a whole release without some kind of problem. It was lovely they were putting out so much stuff but I don't miss those presentations one bit. Ditto their Professionals analogue and digital releases, thanks and all that, you had my money and I watched the stuff but it's long overdue to say goodbye to all those.

Thread of Wrongness??

nlgbbbblth

DoozerT6 wrote: »

Thread of Wrongness??

It wasn't always like this.

Jarrod

I think it's like any walk of life, if you get on with people then why not hang out outside of work? However, I don't like people who feel the need to force it when you quite clearly have no interest and have very little in common other than working in the same place.