Christmas Wedding

Cas86

Hi all,

Myself and my partner are planning a Christmas wedding for 2014. It seems to be a popular time of year for weddings, as the dates between Christmas Day and New Years Day have already been booked! We wanted this particular week as people are off work and the stress of Christmas shopping, dinner etc is over Just wondering how people feel about a wedding a week or two before Christmas? Would it be a hassle for people regarding money, work commitments and Christmas parties or is it still nice to attend a wedding amongst the other festivities?

January

We're having a New Years Eve wedding and anyone who has heard about it is delighted that it's NYE, they say that it takes the hassle of having to find somewhere to go New Years Eve and to pay through the nose to get into a venue.

I'm not sure how people would feel about trying to take time off work and stuff in the run up to Christmas, it'd probably be a bit bothersome especially if you were planning on having it on a weekday instead of a weekend.

Cas86

January wrote: »

We're having a New Years Eve wedding and anyone who has heard about it is delighted that it's NYE, they say that it takes the hassle of having to find somewhere to go New Years Eve and to pay through the nose to get into a venue.

I'm not sure how people would feel about trying to take time off work and stuff in the run up to Christmas, it'd probably be a bit bothersome especially if you were planning on having it on a weekday instead of a weekend.

I'm actually quite jealous, NYE was the day we wanted but the venue we've chosen has NYE 2014 and 2015 already booked! We'll be engaged 4 years this NYE's and I'm not willing to wait another 3 years to get married :-) we were thinking a weekend wedding in December but I'm thinking it might be inconvenient for guests as it may clash with last minute shopping, Christmas parties etc. I don't want our wedding to be something my guests are dreading but I really want a festive wedding! If guests had plenty of notice, I wonder would it make a difference?

January

We've given our guests plenty of notice. Everyone was notified the day after it was booked and we've also negotiated a special two day package for guests who are coming from overseas with the hotel. Most of our rooms are already booked up!

clint_silver

Cas86 wrote: »

I'm actually quite jealous, NYE was the day we wanted but the venue we've chosen has NYE 2014 and 2015 already booked! We'll be engaged 4 years this NYE's and I'm not willing to wait another 3 years to get married :-) we were thinking a weekend wedding in December but I'm thinking it might be inconvenient for guests as it may clash with last minute shopping, Christmas parties etc. I don't want our wedding to be something my guests are dreading but I really want a festive wedding! If guests had plenty of notice, I wonder would it make a difference?

very popular dates for these very reasons.

theres strong arguments for and against having it 2 weeks before. crimbo coming up, lot of people may not want or need the added expense and it really does put 500e on a couple between clothes accommodation, pressie, drink, makeup and hair.

Then again, enough notice and they should save up for it. Personally Id rather not have the expense but each to their own on that.

If you had it mid january you could do some serious negotiating with suppliers but some couples might not be able to attend due to time of year post crimbo blues, in which case Id be having it local to majority of crowd and let it be known no cash presents and run a bus home, now all they gotta do is buy drink.

jlm29

We're hoping to plan for dec 2014 too- but obviously we really need to get a move on. It's prime Xmas party season, so a band might be difficult to come by.

think well try to have a small wedding for family only, and then a bit of a knees up that evening for friends. I'm hoping that that will take some of both the inconvenience and the expense out of it for people.

prettygurrly

I would definitely have my wedding pre christmas rather than January. After having my birthday in January every year for the last nearly 30 years it's a dead time of year and no matter how much notice you give people they always have their money spent by NYD. So, loads of notice so your guests can work it into the Christmas expense and do it pre-Christmas. You could also go a month earlier and get good prices for a November wedding. My friend had hers in England in Nov a few years ago, planned it in 7 weeks so got loads of last minute offers, it was magical...sadly I didn't go but the pictures were unreal.

tatli_lokma

I know for me and many of my friends, getting time off prior to Christmas simply won't happen. A lot of places close between Christmas and New Year and these are the days you have to take your holidays. Trying to get extra days on top of this isn't easy, particularly if Christmas is a busy time in your work place.

In addition, having to arrange hotel accommodation, child minders etc at an already busy and expensive time of year would really put me off. And then there is the whole 'chirstmas party' thing - a girl I work with attended a wedding 2 weeks before Christmas last year and said it felt very much like a staff christmas party mainly because of the atmosphere in the hotel, plus on the Saturday of the wedding, there were a gang of people who had attended the christmas party the night before and stayed over and they were all around the hotel up until about 3pm killing their hangovers and having lunch. There could also be a risk of your wedding having a 'christmas party vibe' if you don't get the ambiance right.

Personally, if I got an invitation to a wedding within 2 weeks of Christmas I would politely decline unless it was a very close friend or family member. If the wedding was between Christmas and New Year I would possibly go, depending on funds and where the wedding was being held.

Christmas is a very expensive time of year for a lot of people, and the last thing they can afford is a wedding as well.

Also costs for the couple may increase, because remember this is the busiest time of year for beauticians, DJ's, bands etc so organising these services could cost more.

TAPA2012

Do consider your nearest and dearest and if it will suit them. Then give everyone lots of notice. I did save the dates about 11mths before. Like every wedding ppl have to save. Try make it easy on ppl to attend like getting affordable accom will help out of town ppl. My only advice is be considerate. Have fun organising and congratulations!

sweetie

December is very quiet for weddings for most of the reasons you have outlined. A wedding after christmas can be nice if there's not a great amount of travel involved.

XMASSmrstobe

HI,

We're having our wedding on the sat before Christmas this year. It means being a little more organised - we did save the dates 9 months before and invites are going out this week (hopefully have to finish diy). We're also doing hen and stags this weekend (again in advance to space cost). But most people are v happy and seem thrilled. I love the athmosphere at christmas!

having said that:
1. we are youngish getting married - mid twenties - so very few of our friends have children, I imagine this would make it more difficult for people.
2. generation emigration - means a large amount of our best friends and bridal party away, this close to christmas means many are coming home and staying - so while yes it is one extra day off work (the monday) that they may not have taken, they're not paying for extra flights for a separate weekend home! Also means those coming from further can make it - cannot wait to see everyone together for the first time in YEARS
3. we're one of the first weddings so the excitement is massive
4. its not a crazy expensive venue for people to stay and plenty of B&Bs in the area.
5. we're not expecting big gifts - or many gifts - just want company.
6. from a selfish point of view, our date means htb can work until lunch on the friday and then be off for christmas. We can head on honeymoon just after and take two weeks for the first time in years - as there are so many bank hollidays etc. that it works out well with annual leave!
7. having a wedding in december has been very cost effective for us, most places have been very willing to negotiate and saved nearly 20% on everything!

I love it and it works, but perhaps that's down to your guests and what suits them!

Electric Sheep

tatli_lokma wrote: »

Personally, if I got an invitation to a wedding within 2 weeks of Christmas I would politely decline unless it was a very close friend or family member. If the wedding was between Christmas and New Year I would possibly go, depending on funds and where the wedding was being held.

I agree. And even if between Christmas and New Year, I would go only if it did not mean an overnight stay. Christmas is for my family - I'd rather spend the money on them then on attending a wedding.

ibarelycare

Anyone who I ever hear talking about attending a wedding in the run-up to Christmas, or the week after (except NYE for the most part) complains about the timing. Let's face it, no one's going to complain to your face about your date chosen, but you can guarantee a lot of people will be giving out about it behind your back. It's a ridiculously expensive time of the year, and even with plenty of notice given, a lot of people will find it very difficult to factor a wedding into their December budget.

If you're having a local wedding, where the majority of people don't have to pay for accommodation, then it's not too bad. But if people are expected to travel and stay over, then it's unfair to have a wedding so close to Christmas.

Moonbeam

I would only have a christmas wedding if you have a lot of friends and family travelling home at that time of the year.
We discussed it but with christmas and then kids birthdays in January we would have been wrecked and super broke!

lazygal

Funny this should be here. We've just gotten invited to a Christmas wedding (shortly before Christmas) and as soon as I saw the date I knew we'd be declining. We need babysitters, and there's already things on in December for those who'd be up for babysitting. It's an expensive time of year to be going somewhere for an overnight stay (distance would necessitate this) and the room rate I checked online is very expensive, and I doubt there's room to haggle given the time of year.
It just doesn't suit us, even a local wedding would be tricky because of babysitters for the day and the expense of the day (gifts etc) so I wouldn't be keen on it if other dates were available. I can see how it suits couples (people home from abroad in particular) but I can also see a massive decline rate because of the time of year, especially if you have children.

Moonbeam

I think at that time of the year you kind of need ot include the kids as everyone is to broke to afford going to a wedding and babysitters.

lazygal

Tbh we don't bring our children even if they're asked because its just too much hassle bringing them.

Birdie086

In this house we are in the process of organinsing a 2014 wedding either NYE or the day before.

We are aware that christmas is already costly for people so we will be letting everyone know as soon as church etc are confirmed.

We attended five weddings this year over the space of four months, and four last year. We went to great expense as most of these weddings were out of towners. We will be having a city wedding in modern hotel to contrast(we dont want ours compared as we dont have a massive budget). By having a city wedding people dont have to stay overnight if they dont want to.

We are also hoping, church permitting to have the service later in the day rather than earlier, this gives people a little more breathing space. any one working retail wont miss out if they cant get the day off work etc, they can can come along without having missed much of the day.

Birdie086

the main point I meant to make is that summer weddings can bu just as tricky for people attending as it is peak Wedding season and many like us this year and last can have mutliple invites over a short period of time.
I had no official holidays this year thanks to having bits of weeks off here and there to attend weddings.

January

Birdie086 wrote: »

In this house we are in the process of organinsing a 2014 wedding either NYE or the day before.

We are aware that christmas is already costly for people so we will be letting everyone know as soon as church etc are confirmed.

We attended five weddings this year over the space of four months, and four last year. We went to great expense as most of these weddings were out of towners. We will be having a city wedding in modern hotel to contrast(we dont want ours compared as we dont have a massive budget). By having a city wedding people dont have to stay overnight if they dont want to.

We are also hoping, church permitting to have the service later in the day rather than earlier, this gives people a little more breathing space. any one working retail wont miss out if they cant get the day off work etc, they can can come along without having missed much of the day.

One thing you might want to think of with a wedding later in the day is the amount of natural light left over to take pictures. It gets dark very early in December!

Birdie086

January wrote: »

One thing you might want to think of with a wedding later in the day is the amount of natural light left over to take pictures. It gets dark very early in December!

thanks for the tip, I hadn't though of that as we wont be having any photographs, culled from the budget, that plus wedding cars. Also no need for flowers etc for church as church will be all decorated for christmas.

Daisy M

Having received quiet a few invites to weddings around Christmas time, I now consider them to be a right pain. I used to long to get an invite to a Christmas wedding so this is a complete turnaround for me. I personally find that going to a wedding takes a lot of organising, between childcare, clothes hair ect, Christmas is enough to organise without throwing a wedding in on top.

Cas86

Thanks for all the advice guys! We've decided to book the 30th Dec 2014.

A lot of our close friends and family love the idea of a wedding during Christmas week as it's a great time to catch up with extended family members scattered around the country aswell as family and friends home for the holidays. As most have suggested the pre-Christmas idea didn't suit a lot of people due to family and work commitments! We've told all of our close friends and extended families of the date so we're giving 13 months notice and hopefully that will help as we're well aware of how expensive the time of year is.

Cas86

Birdie086 wrote: »

the main point I meant to make is that summer weddings can bu just as tricky for people attending as it is peak Wedding season and many like us this year and last can have mutliple invites over a short period of time.
I had no official holidays this year thanks to having bits of weeks off here and there to attend weddings.

I completely agree, we've also spent a lot of money and annual leave on weddings this year! Summer weddings are not necessarily the most convenient time for guests either but I think the people who love and care for you will be there on the day no matter what time of year it is and I think Christmas is a time for family and friends in anyway so why not have a wedding where they can all be together in one room?

clint_silver

Cas86 wrote: »

I completely agree, we've also spent a lot of money and annual leave on weddings this year! Summer weddings are not necessarily the most convenient time for guests either but I think the people who love and care for you will be there on the day no matter what time of year it is and I think Christmas is a time for family and friends in anyway so why not have a wedding where they can all be together in one room?

There will never be a time or location that will be convenient for all, just one that will be convenient for most if the B&G care about that.

pwurple

Birdie086 wrote: »

thanks for the tip, I hadn't though of that as we wont be having any photographs, culled from the budget, that plus wedding cars. Also no need for flowers etc for church as church will be all decorated for christmas.

Cars and flowers are cullable alright, but photographs? Have a few photos, really. You may regret that one.

Birdie086

pwurple wrote: »

Cars and flowers are cullable alright, but photographs? Have a few photos, really. You may regret that one.

My mam is great at taking photos, so she can do the honours, knowing this house and how is works all we need is one for the wall and the rest will end up in in album in a drawer.


A friend is doing hair for the bridal party and one the bridesmaids sisters is doing tan and make up. The bulk of our budget is going on food and entertaiment, none of the rest important to us. But thats just us and what we like.

Moonbeam

I would have someone there dedicated to taking photos,your mother is there to enjoy herself.
Even ask a friend to do it,I have little interest in wedding photos but my kids will be the ones that look at them and enjoy them.

HelenT

~After giving it much consideration, we are having our wedding this year pre-Christmas. It is a very important date to us - and we have stressed to everyone that we fully understand if they cannot make it along. We will try to catch up with them over the Christmas instead. To be perfectly honest weddings are expensive anytime of the year and those that really want to be there will be there, those that choose not to come would probably have found it inconvenient regardless of time of year.

We sent out our invites a couple of weeks ago and are getting a much better turn out than we expected. Everyone is saying it is a great way to kick off the silly season.

Its just perfect for us besides the actual date we picked being personally very important to us, we also love Christmas, so the tree and decorations etc are going to give it an extra va-va-voom! And the Christmas songs :-)))

Getting Very excited!

Gatica

I consider the dates around xmas/new year's to be the time we don't have to rush anywhere, can relax and spend with family. I like having that time with my family and in-law family - sitting by the fire doing nothing, or making house calls to relatives to catch-up. I don't consider it the time to get organised to go somewhere for a whole day, for a cousin's or friend's wedding. New Year's likewise is for friends, whether at home or a party, it's the people that mean the most to me that I'd be wanting to meet up with. Not going to a wedding of a friend of my husband's for example.
If it was a close friend, I'd still go to the wedding, but if I had a choice I'd rather it wasn't around xmas. Not all my friends would be from the same circle, so unlikely to be there.

I would only consider XMASSmrstobe's situation to be appropriate to a Xmas wedding. It seems to put out a lower number of people that another more typical wedding, where most of the guests are in the country...

just my tuppence...

bellinter

anyone giving out about a Christmas wedding... just don't go. When you are sending back the response and there is a option to tick a yes box or a no box, tick the NO and see what happens. If you dont really want to go (and at the end of the day thats what it boils down to, anything else is an excuse) then there is every chance the couple themselevs feel the exact same about your presence there, and the invite was more out of obligation than anything! Then everyone will be happy. The couple dont have to pay for your dinner, the other guests don't have to hear you whinging because you would rather be at home eating roses... and you yourself get to eat those roses.

Weddings are for people who want to be there. Not people sitting there with a sour face on them for the whole day because of the "inconvenience" to an otherwise hectic life. Same goes for any time of the year, not just Christmas.

I've been to 4 Christmas wedding in the past few years, 3 before and 1 between that and NYE and I've really enjoyed them all. The open fire at the venue, the bit of frost on the ground outside, the additional atmosphere that the christmas tree brings to anywhere, a few Christmas songs thrown in to add to the craic later on... all great.

Gatica

no one said anything about sitting there with a sour face. If I don't know them well enough and I don't want to go then I won't go.

And there's really no need to go down the road of sure aren't they feeding you for free, cos then you'll be opening that can of worms of, sure aren't the guests paying for the wedding essentially, and so on...

There are friends whose weddings I'd love to go to, even if they're not my closest group. So I'll be there Xmas, rain or shine. I will enjoy myself and I'll be delighted to catch up with some other friends. I still think though that I'd have liked to have had that time with my family instead. Since their wedding happens only once, its not something I'd decline in favour of the relaxed xmas time as we have xmas every year.

Was at an end of November wedding which was xmas themed, and it was ideal. It still had the crisp cold weather, the lovely fires in the hall and the mulled wine reception.

April O Neill II

I'm attending a wedding on the 20th of December this year, and have to say, I'm really looking forward to it!.

But my sis has to attend on in the UK on the 21st and it has been such hassle to organise attendance. It varies.

April O Neill II

ibarelycare wrote: »

It's a ridiculously expensive time of the year, and even with plenty of notice given, a lot of people will find it very difficult to factor a wedding into their December budget.

Yeah, I'd never save up to attend a wedding in general (whatever I can afford for presents and attendance is what I'm giving), never mind at Xmas!

April O Neill II

HelenT wrote: »

To be perfectly honest weddings are expensive anytime of the year

But there's a lot of other expense at Xmas too.

lubie76

I can't believe some posters are saying what an inconvenience it is for couples to get married around Christmas and NY. Do you really think they are going to get married at certain times of year just to suit individual guests and not at a time that suits themselves and families even though it's their big day.

Guests have at least 2-3 months notice of invite too so they could easily put a few pound aside. For families with members living abroad this is an ideal time as they get to spend Xmas and have family wedding so it makes it a worthwhile trip for them. I'm getting married December 2014 and would be so annoyed if I thought people found it inconvenient just because they aren't organised enough financially or otherwise for the day especially if I went to their wedding celebrations previously.

Birdie086

lubie76 wrote: »

I can't believe some posters are saying what an inconvenience it is for couples to get married around Christmas and NY. Do you really think they are going to get married at certain times of year just to suit individual guests and not at a time that suits themselves and families even though it's their big day.

Guests have at least 2-3 months notice of invite too so they could easily put a few pound aside. For families with members living abroad this is an ideal time as they get to spend Xmas and have family wedding so it makes it a worthwhile trip for them. I'm getting married December 2014 and would be so annoyed if I thought people found it inconvenient just because they aren't organised enough financially or otherwise for the day especially if I went to their wedding celebrations previously.

I feel the same Lubie and to be honest there is a whole host fab wedding venues in my city and county area and yet the trend the last years in my area seems to be to travel to at least the next county for weddings, I can understand this - people wanting their day different but it is an added expense, so that why we decided a city wedding means nobody has to stay overnight if they don't want - eliminating an expense for people.

April O Neill II

lubie76 wrote: »

I can't believe some posters are saying what an inconvenience it is for couples to get married around Christmas and NY. Do you really think they are going to get married at certain times of year just to suit individual guests and not at a time that suits themselves and families even though it's their big day.

People can have their wedding whenever they want. It's an already expensive time of year though, and there's not getting away from that.

lubie76 wrote: »

Guests have at least 2-3 months notice of invite too so they could easily put a few pound aside.

Nope, sorry. Bar very very close friends and family members, I wouldn't save up to attend a wedding, it just wouldn't be that important to me. I'm sure many people would feel the same. I have enough expenses. What I spend when a wedding rolls round is what I have available to spend at that point in time.

lubie76 wrote: »

I'm getting married December 2014 and would be so annoyed if I thought people found it inconvenient just because they aren't organised enough financially

This is a shocking attitude to have. :eek: I really am genuinely shocked. Not "organised enough financially"? Are you actually being serious here? Money is tight for a lot of people these days, and them not being able to afford to go might be down to financial prudence rather than spending money they can't really afford to spend. How would you, out of interest, know that someone passing on your wedding for financial reasons was down to them not being "organised" enough? It's more likely that savings for someone's wedding isn't very high on a lot of people's priorities, unless they are very, very close to you. And no matter how organised one is financially, sometimes they just don't have the money. You can't conjure what's not there. Some marrying couples really do begin to lose grip on reality.

clint_silver

"I'm getting married December 2014 and would be so annoyed if I thought people found it inconvenient just because they aren't organised enough financially"

dad could have lost his job, kids demanding presents they can't afford, new clothes required, mortgage in arrears, car doesn't have tax or insurance on it. House is cold. Mum cries herself to sleep most nights cos they haven't gone out in 4 months.

You should ring them up and vent your annoyance at why they declined to go to your wedding because its inconvenient for them, really rub it in and tell them you'll be expecting a cash gift anyway because you went to their wedding 5 years ago.

tatli_lokma

Because that's all the recession is really - a whole load of financially disorganised people. If only they were more organised we wouldn't be in the mess we're in :rolleyes:

ChickenBalls

Didn't know there was a wedding forum on Boards - I mainly view the sports side of things but came across this and I'm shocked tbh!

Why? Well for one, I'm getting married on 27th Dec (2 weeks tomorrow) and I don't expect people to give me envelopes at all (if this is what people are referring to here) - I know it's what people do but the expense of a wedding is mine not that I'll make it back or profit from it - I don't give a sh*t about that. Turning up is all I ask people to do; it's not black tie just formal wear and basically I'd like people to think it's just another night out. For us, we'll be providing wine for everybody so that's a saving in itself for guests. Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick here but that's my 2 cents on it.

Electric Sheep

lubie76 wrote: »

I can't believe some posters are saying what an inconvenience it is for couples to get married around Christmas and NY. Do you really think they are going to get married at certain times of year just to suit individual guests and not at a time that suits themselves and families even though it's their big day.

Guests have at least 2-3 months notice of invite too so they could easily put a few pound aside. For families with members living abroad this is an ideal time as they get to spend Xmas and have family wedding so it makes it a worthwhile trip for them. I'm getting married December 2014 and would be so annoyed if I thought people found it inconvenient just because they aren't organised enough financially or otherwise for the day especially if I went to their wedding celebrations previously.

Or they could just not attend. I think people should just stop attending the weddings that are set up solely for the convenience of the couple getting married. Just don't go! I am sure that when people stop feeling obliged to attend this sort of crap, things will return to a wedding just being a one day affair that does not cost each guest the equivalant of a weeks vacation.

April O Neill II

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Or they could just not attend. I think people should just stop attending the weddings that are set up solely for the convenience of the couple getting married. Just don't go! I am sure that when people stop feeling obliged to attend this sort of crap, things will return to a wedding just being a one day affair that does not cost each guest the equivalant of a weeks vacation.

Tis a good point.

A lot of people do genuinely enjoy weddings though, they're just so feckin' expensive to attend.

clint_silver

ChickenBalls wrote: »

Didn't know there was a wedding forum on Boards - I mainly view the sports side of things but came across this and I'm shocked tbh!

Why? Well for one, I'm getting married on 27th Dec (2 weeks tomorrow) and I don't expect people to give me envelopes at all (if this is what people are referring to here) - I know it's what people do but the expense of a wedding is mine not that I'll make it back or profit from it - I don't give a sh*t about that. Turning up is all I ask people to do; it's not black tie just formal wear and basically I'd like people to think it's just another night out. For us, we'll be providing wine for everybody so that's a saving in itself for guests. Maybe I'm getting the wrong end of the stick here but that's my 2 cents on it.

Are you providing wine all night or just for the meal?

its an expensive night out no matter what way you look at it, women like to get a new dress, hair and makeup, babysitters if theres kids, accommodation, drinks if you dont like all night free wine, and whether you care about it or not, people will put an envelope down. It all adds up at a time when there is added expense of christmas.

That said, dont worry about it, people will cut their cloth to suit and anyone who thinks its an inconvenience will cut out the new dress, get relations to babysit, someone will drive to avoid accommodation costs or maybe youre running a bus and the envelope will be as much as they can afford so then it turns into the cost of a few beers. If theyre stretching to put money into an envelope then theyve got bigger problems then you should be worrying about at your wedding.

samina

I'm invited to a nye wedding and I'm dreading it.
I feel obliged to go because to be honest I think it would be downright rude not to. But I also think it's rude to have a wedding on what is primarily an occasion spent with people of your choosing and expect people to be happy about it.
I'm completely broke so close to Christmas. The kids will have their Christmas clothes but I don't have the money for anything for myself ATM am hoping I can get something in the sales.
This is before a gift and the fact that my husband has to take the busiest night of the year off work.
But besides all this I have very close friends and family that I like to spend my New Year's Eve with.

April O Neill II

samina wrote: »

I'm invited to a nye wedding and I'm dreading it.
I feel obliged to go because to be honest I think it would be downright rude not to. But I also think it's rude to have a wedding on what is primarily an occasion spent with people of your choosing and expect people to be happy about it.
I'm completely broke so close to Christmas. The kids will have their Christmas clothes but I don't have the money for anything for myself ATM am hoping I can get something in the sales.
This is before a gift and the fact that my husband has to take the busiest night of the year off work.
But besides all this I have very close friends and family that I like to spend my New Year's Eve with.

You don't need to buy a new dress, I'm sure you have lots of nice ones in your wardrobe!

samina

April O Neill II wrote: »

You don't need to buy a new dress, I'm sure you have lots of nice ones in your wardrobe!

Sadly I very seldom get to buy nice frocks at the worst hopefully I can borrow something

lubie76

April O Neill II wrote: »

This is a shocking attitude to have. :eek: I really am genuinely shocked. Not "organised enough financially"? Are you actually being serious here? Money is tight for a lot of people these days, and them not being able to afford to go might be down to financial prudence rather than spending money they can't really afford to spend. How would you, out of interest, know that someone passing on your wedding for financial reasons was down to them not being "organised" enough? It's more likely that savings for someone's wedding isn't very high on a lot of people's priorities, unless they are very, very close to you. And no matter how organised one is financially, sometimes they just don't have the money. You can't conjure what's not there. Some marrying couples really do begin to lose grip on reality.

It doesn't matter whether it's Christmas or not so- if you are having financial troubles, you will have the same issue any time of the year not just around Xmas which was where the general theme of the thread came from. People always have the right to refuse the invitation for whatever reasons they want- I have in the past. What I'm saying is if I did want to go to a wedding I will make it a priority for me and organise my finances so that I can go because I want to go and I don't expect the marrying couple to think of what suits me in order to pick a wedding date. If I can't afford it I won't go but you won't catch me blaming the inconsiderate couple of a forum for choosing an inconvenient time of the year.

I actually find your attitude pretty poor to be honest. If a wedding isn't a priority for you then I feel sorry for the bride and groom who thought enough of you to ask you to share their special day while you are just looking at it as a financial inconvenience.

lubie76

clint_silver wrote: »

"I'm getting married December 2014 and would be so annoyed if I thought people found it inconvenient just because they aren't organised enough financially"

dad could have lost his job, kids demanding presents they can't afford, new clothes required, mortgage in arrears, car doesn't have tax or insurance on it. House is cold. Mum cries herself to sleep most nights cos they haven't gone out in 4 months.

You should ring them up and vent your annoyance at why they declined to go to your wedding because its inconvenient for them, really rub it in and tell them you'll be expecting a cash gift anyway because you went to their wedding 5 years ago.

Nobody said anything about cash gifts, it's about wanting the people you love to share your special day - not making a profit! I don't expect any cash gifts just their company. That day is gone. And as a previous poster said if they can't go they can just say no!

Electric Sheep

lubie76 wrote: »

It doesn't matter whether it's Christmas or not so- if you are having financial troubles, you will have the same issue any time of the year not just around Xmas which was where the general theme of the thread came from. People always have the right to refuse the invitation for whatever reasons they want- I have in the past. What I'm saying is if I did want to go to a wedding I will make it a priority for me and organise my finances so that I can go because I want to go and I don't expect the marrying couple to think of what suits me in order to pick a wedding date. If I can't afford it I won't go but you won't catch me blaming the inconsiderate couple of a forum for choosing an inconvenient time of the year.

I actually find your attitude pretty poor to be honest. If a wedding isn't a priority for you then I feel sorry for the bride and groom who thought enough of you to ask you to share their special day while you are just looking at it as a financial inconvenience.

Do you really think your wedding is so important to other people that they organise their finances around it? Oh, I won't buy my kids Christmas presents because Bridezilla's wedding is more important?

Your wedding might be very very important to you, but believe it or not, it is not the top priority for everyone else.

lubie76

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Do you really think your wedding is so important to other people that they organise their finances around it? Oh, I won't buy my kids Christmas presents because Bridezilla's wedding is more important?

Your wedding might be very very important to you, but believe it or not, it is not the top priority for everyone else.

Yes actually I do think its important to the people I'm inviting and that's why I'm only inviting 35 people that I'm very close to and I'm far from a bridezilla I'm not even wearing a wedding dress, I'm having a v small secular ceremony and a meal in a local restaurant.