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Would you.

  • 04-10-2013 12:46PM
    #1
    Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭


    If you were well off but not a millionaire would you buy a house for you children?

    Its something I would love to do for my children if I had the money, however my first husband the father of my children and my second husband think this is nuts and that it is the equivalent of carrying them through life and that having to do it for yourself is good for you? I am not so sure about that.


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    I don't have children


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,366 ✭✭✭✭Kylo Ren


    I don't have children

    Would you like some?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,038 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    What does your third husband think?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,366 ✭✭✭✭Kylo Ren


    What does your third husband think?

    He's off playing golf with the fourth husband.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Just out of curiosity, why would you?


    I'm not against the idea (if I had kids and money) but I don't really see why you would.


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  • Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,685 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Just out of curiosity, why would you?


    I'm not against the idea (if I had kids and money) but I don't really see why you would.

    Same here, can't see why you would.
    Maybe give them some help with a deposit, but not buy the house for them.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 326 ✭✭Savoir.Faire


    I inherited the family pile after my Father died. I never broached the subject with him while he was alive, but I very much doubt he would have stumped up the money to buy me a home.


  • Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Because being a mother ( or maybe it just me ) I want to do every thing I can for my children to help them and to make life easier for them is that such a bad thing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Keno wrote: »
    Would you like some?

    No I hate them


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,477 ✭✭✭✭Knex*


    My future, hypothetical, children can fight over my house when I die, the little bastards.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,824 ✭✭✭vitani


    I'd prefer my children to work hard and get their own house. I plan to own my own place in the next couple of years, and after so long working for it, I'll appreciate every second I spend there. While it would be nice to just have a house handed to me, I don't think I'd be happier in the long run with it.


  • Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I'd have no problem saving my future kids from a lifetime of being a mortgage slave, if I had the means. I'd love to know they were doing what they wanted to do, what would make them happy, instead of what they have to to pay the bills.

    Depends on the kids though, if they grew up with a sense of entitlement to it then I'd probably let them get a dose of reality instead.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭stefan idiot jones


    I don't have children

    Do you fancy going halves on a b@stard ?


  • Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    No I hate them

    Do you know them all?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,562 ✭✭✭eyescreamcone


    Children might be better off if you put it into their education.

    School fees, grinds, college fees + accomodation, postgrad etc.

    That way they still develop a proper work ethic and the skills to eventually afford their own house.


    Skills Pay Bills!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    And frankly people gushing about their kids like them taking a shhit or blinking, by themselves, is the most awe inspiring thing they've ever witnessed, is what puts me off having them


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    Candie wrote: »
    Do you know them all?

    Enough of them to make me want to get my tubes tied, thanks


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,361 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    mariaalice wrote: »
    Because being a mother ( or maybe it just me ) I want to do every thing I can for my children to help them and to make life easier for them is that such a bad thing.

    Handing everything to a child on a plate does nothing for their character. Nor does it teach them to have the confidence to take care of themselves.
    I would consider it very bad parenting.
    A child should be taught that appreciation of their own efforts gives satisfaction.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,038 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    I would like to be in a position to match what they have saved for the deposit


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I would. For tax reasons, not because I like the bastards.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    If money was no object, I might do. Depends on the kids. If I sensed that they expected it or felt entitled to it, possibly not.

    It's possible to strike a balance.

    My own kids don't get everything they want (and most of what they get is based on goals like getting rewards in school or doing stuff in the house) but equally I would never see them short of anything on principle and I equally don't like this pull your socks up bollocks that decrees that you can't treat your kids (when you can afford to do so) just to impress other people.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    I think I would do this for my hypothetical future kids if I had the means to do so. I wouldn't support them financially as adults, or pay their bills.

    However, the whole notion of slaving away for a good chunk of your life in debt just to put a roof over your head is not a pleasant one and of course I would like to free my children of that if I could. Give them the life I would have wanted, allow them to pursue their passions rather than slugging away in relative misery like the rest of us, pissing their lives away in some soul-sucking office block just to have the means to... continue doing that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭lahalane


    I'd rather treat my parents to something.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    You're kind of limiting their choices if you do that.

    If you buy them a house in Ireland, and they are just starting to work, then there's a good chance they'll be stuck in it. Or not able to pay the upkeep.

    They could charge rent and go work abroad, but, again, that does tie them back to ireland.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    I don't have children

    People banging on about their kids is so boring.

    People banging on about not having - or the multi-fold reasons for never having - kids, however, is a source of endless intellectual stimulation and should be encouraged by everybody.


  • Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    anncoates wrote: »
    People banging on about their kids is so boring.

    People banging on about not having - or the multi-fold reasons for never having - kids, however, is a source of endless endless intellectual stimulation and should be encouraged by everybody.

    Especially so in a thread about what you would do for your children.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 36,926 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    You're kind of limiting their choices if you do that.

    If you buy them a house in Ireland, and they are just starting to work, then there's a good chance they'll be stuck in it. Or not able to pay the upkeep.

    They could charge rent and go work abroad, but, again, that does tie them back to ireland.

    I hate using this phrase, but - first world problems!

    Jeez, give me a mortgage free house any day which I was 'tied to' back home. I'd gladly lease it out, make a nice tidy monthly sum each month to go towards funding my lavish lifestyle in Asia :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,157 ✭✭✭keithclancy


    No,

    I would use the money to give them the tools to be able to build their own lives.

    People that have stuff handed to them on a plate tend to have no appreciation for it and spend beyond their means regardless.

    As an adult I expect nothing in Inheritance, I don't understand all of these family feuds when a family member dies, if you didn't have it in the first place you haven't lost anything.

    And if you spent money/did something on the basis that you would be receiving inheritance you are a fool.

    Slightly off topic, but I always though the notion of moving straight of home and buying a house to be slightly bonkers, when you don't even have any experience or idea of how much it costs to run a household.

    IMO People should rent for a few years first and then look at maybe buying a place to live in it for the long term.

    Also it's a fairly good idea to live with someone for a few years before your marry them, this living in sin craic is rubbish.


  • Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I know parents who are putting themselves under strain to pay for a master course for their son I don't agree with that, because he already has a degree and I know parents who are funding a third attempt at college for their son I don't agree with that either I am not a complete fool that thinks children should be carried through life, but if they didn't have to be worried about providing a house for themselves I think it would be great start in life.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,058 ✭✭✭Uriel.


    mariaalice wrote: »
    Because being a mother ( or maybe it just me ) I want to do every thing I can for my children to help them and to make life easier for them is that such a bad thing.

    I don't have kids.

    But to be honest, my view would be that it depends on how you raise your kids.

    If your kids are raised with a strong work ethic, being independent and having a foundation for taking responsibility for themselves and their actions...then putting myself in the hypothetical situation:
    If I had spare cash, I surely would try to look after them and take some of the pressures of life off them - I wouldn't even have to think about it.

    But It wouldn't be a good idea if it was another step in providing a privileged obligation free lifestyle.


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