So annoyed

brianregan09

So I got a new Border Collie/Lab cross last friday as i said in another thread, He's getting on great with our other collie, and my OH is in love with him as am I

Funny story when i was getting him (he's only 1) the owner said that she had to give him away as her 13 year old soon wasn't walking him and he was stuck in his run all day which is fair enough like any 13-14 year old i'd imagine, But she said to send her pics of him and added us on Facebook for us to show her pics of gunner adapting to his new home

Being honest didn't expect to hear any more from her , But had a few missed calls from her and today she rings me to tell me that her son has been crying every night since he's been gone and made assurances to walk and look after him and wants the dog back...Well she can **** off dog is living a life of luxury here sleeps on her bed has the run of the house and is walked daily so say im fuming is not the word

And sorry had to vent somewhere , what a spoilt little ****er he must be :mad:

YbFocus

Just forget about her, sounds like the dog is much happier now. Ridiculous that she thinks she can do that!

Papillon!

So crazy! My ex took in his flatmates-girlfriends-sisters (phew!) dog when she was pregnant as she said it needed a home (slacker...) and two days later she marched into the house and took it back without ever saying thanks or anything and took all the new stuff me and him bought the dog. We were raging too

Tranceypoo

sounds like the dog was lucky to get away from the 2 of them!

brianregan09

Well she lives 60 miles away and only knows the villiage i live in....should i delete her off facebook and ignore all calls or just leave as is and hope she feics off herself

muddypaws

It sounds like she didn't give her son a chance, I don't think he sounds particularly spoiled, he sounds like a normal 13 year old to me. It was her responsibility to make sure the dog was walked and looked after properly, so I can understand why he is so upset. Did you get anything in writing, to say he is your dog now? Did she give you the licence? Is he microchipped, and if so, has that been changed to your name?

I can understand you being angry about this, but try not to be too hasty. What if the dog decides that he hates your cat, and continues to chase it, what are you going to do? It might not be such a bad idea to have an option in that case.

Gokei

Think how attached you feel after 4 days. Imagine how attached the lad is after a year? Hope calling a child a fúcker made you feel better.
What are you so irate about anyway? She asked for it back and you said no. So just enjoy the kids dog and get on with your life.

brianregan09

Regarding the Cat he has actually gotten kind of used to him now he just looks at him with his head and we just have to say somthing and he looks away

She had him up on donedeal for 20 euro I rang and asked to see the dog and she lived in abbeyfeale im at the other side of Limerick myself so it was 120 mile round trip I went up there and in taking him she wouldn't even take the money off me I agree with the poster above kind of because she did say she was sick of giving him chances to walk the dog, But still she had the where with all to put him up on donedeal without even telling him

Funny thing though i collected him friday morning she texted me saturday (24hours later) that he was only after noticing him gone ...Seems like he cared alot :pac:

Here they are together

Nice Botty

brianregan09 wrote: »

Well she lives 60 miles away and only knows the villiage i live in....should i delete her off facebook and ignore all calls or just leave as is and hope she feics off herself

Maybe just give back the dog?

YbFocus

The mother jumped the gun but that's not your problem man, let the mother deal with the situation that she has managed to make for herself.
Best of luck with your dog man it's lovely.

aonb

^^^^^^ which one is the new dog?!? It doesnt look like there is much Lab in him - more collie.

GREAT that he has settled in so well in so short a time. Hopefully he will continue to get used to your cat (and the cat to him), and life can settle down for all. (Sounds like he has a better life with you - in the house and with company rather than stuck unwalked in a run - so hope the situation settles down, and everyone is happy)

brianregan09

The bigger one at the front is the new one , the back one is Gypsy who's 3 and we've had her since she was one too

Papillon!

can't believe people are actually telling you to give him back to a life of misery stuck in a run and not getting enough proper walks..

i had a westie when i was a kid and my family gave her away to a family friend because i was too young to know the responsibility. i was gutted for like a month but i.got.over.it and it taught me how important it is so when we adopted the next dog it was my best friend and went every where with me!

the kids going to be butt hurt for a while and the mams going to feel like a thick but who caaares. its about animal welfare at the end of the day and the pooch is gorgeous and happy with you and your family and dog. Give him all the love you can

aonb

both smashing looking dogs - any more pics? Post some in the 'official' pictures post.

The Bishop Basher

Usual assumptions being made here in that people seem quite happy to say the dog had a happier life now without knowing all the facts.

I completely agree with Muddypaws on this. The lad is acting like any other 13 year old. I remember my dog when I was 13 and I would have been really devastated if he had been given away.

Question is OP, do you want to be decent ? Or do you want to be right ?

brianregan09

Will do

Papillon!

Swanner wrote: »

Usual assumptions being made here in that people seem quite happy to say the dog had a happier life now without knowing all the facts.

The OP said the original owner said she gave the kid a chance to walk him but it wasn't happening.

I wouldn't pick being decent to someone over the welfare of an animal

brianregan09

@swanner I too have had dogs taken off me when i was younger and yes it hurts like hell but i got over it after a while, Ill give ya a better example my own brother who is 17 now (i'm 29) had a cairn terrier when he was 14 same situation left in her run and never walked I was moved out and my parents both work full time, In the end it was my mam who ended up minding the dog and eventually couldn't cope and had to give away the poor misfortune, So asking me to i want to be decent and right well by keepin the dog in the dogs interest i am being right and decent by keeping him, As i mentioned the mother herself had told us the youngfella had broken multiple promises already and she had to give him away as she was starting a new job and the daughter who did walk him before has started college so moved away , thats the only FACTS i have and there enough for me

Papillon!

brianregan09 wrote: »

thats the only FACTS i have and there enough for me

And this shows how much YOU care. Fair play to you!

Riesen_Meal

I understand your dilemma Brian, but the dog has been that child's for over a year, you only have him over a week, if the young lad is offering (albeit only now) to take care of him and make an effort...

I think it would be really cruel to not give it back, it's a tough one, I can really also see where you are coming from, as you will probably give the dog a better home, but if the child is crying every night looking for his dog back I would have to give it back....

(If I was in your shoes!)

brianregan09

^^^I see what you're saying aswell but the fact that even his own mother said he was given multiple chances to do this is what has me not swaying at all as i have seen and my OH is practiclly in tears at the thought of losing him already

Madam

Fieldog wrote: »

I understand your dilemma Brian, but the dog has been that child's for over a year, you only have him over a week, if the young lad is offering (albeit only now) to take care of him and make an effort...

I think it would be really cruel to not give it back, it's a tough one, I can really also see where you are coming from, as you will probably give the dog a better home, but if the child is crying every night looking for his dog back I would have to give it back....

(If I was in your shoes!)

'it'?:mad:

muddypaws

I'm not saying that you should give the dog back, but I do feel very sorry for the boy. You didn't say all that other information previously, about the mother having a new job, daughter off to college etc. My view on it would be that any child is too young to have responsibility for a dog, and so it is up to the parent(s) to have that responsibility and for any parent not to realise that, with any pet, is a bit ridiculous, from cleaning out hamster and rat cages, to feeding fish, kids are kids.

It is the mother that is at fault here, for getting the dog in the first place, and for not stepping up to look after it properly. The dog is only a year old, the boy will probably go off to college in 5 years, like his sister, what would happen to the dog then? If the mother isn't able or willing to walk the dog now, I can't see that changing in 5 years time.

It is a sad situation, and I hope it works out for all concerned.

teggers5

I wouldnt dream of giving the dog back. Yeah the kid is making promises now and maybe he would walk the dog more if he got him back but how long before the dog would be back stuck in the run forgotten about again?
Gorgeous dog op, and he looks so well settled after only a week. I bet he thinks all his Christmases have come at once.

brianregan09

And just in the last hour he's started barking at our other dog playing my 1st time hearing him bark got about 2 mins footage of them playing together it was awesome lol

teggers5

Just thinking about it, I always had dogs growing up. If my parents had threatened, even half heartenedly, to give away a dog because I wasn't pulling my weight I would have walked over hot coals, jumped through hoops to keep my dog!
At 13 years of age he should be more than capable of helping with a family pet.

Pumpkinseeds

So this woman was happy to unload the dog to someone else, she couldn't be bothered to look after it herself. Surely any parent with any common sense knows well when they get a child a dog, that they are going to be the one walking it? The OP adopted this dog in good faith, if he were to give the dog back and the kid changes his mind again what happens to the dog?

The kid is 13, he's old enough to know how to take responsibility, this could be a valuable lesson to him for the next dog mammy buys him. Unfriend her and block her number, better a temporarily unhappy teenager than a dog that ends up being put to sleep because he gets bored again and the dog is fecked in to the pound. Also ffs he's 13 what's with this crying business?

Crying my arse, he's probably being a stroppy little git using the dog as a means of wangling grand theft auto 5:rolleyes:

inocybe

teggers5 wrote: »

At 13 years of age he should be more than capable of helping with a family pet.

Helping yes, but not having sole responsibility. If the dog was left in a run all day this is the adults fault. I feel sorry for the kid, he has a pretty poor parent. She doesn't sound like someone who should own a dog either, very caring to rehome it through done deal.

muddypaws

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Also ffs he's 13 what's with this crying business?

Crying my arse, he's probably being a stroppy little git using the dog as a means of wangling grand theft auto 5:rolleyes:

Wow, judgemental much?

13 year old boys aren't allowed to cry? This thread saddens me in so many ways. So many assumptions being made, it's an internet forum, one side of the story is being told only.

Outkast_IRE

I honestly think this is a tough lesson for the lad to deal with and I have sympathy for him but, it may be the best lesson he ever gets in animal ownership.

Far too many people in this country don't see it as necessary to take care of their animals properly as it is.

You would hope if he ever gets an animal again that he remembers this lesson and learns from it.


The dogs look really happy together OP well done, and best of luck with them.

YbFocus

I agree with the above, this hard lesson now may make him a great animal owner in the future.
Without it he would simply take all his pets for granted.

DBB

Okay folks, let's lay off casting aspersions on the kid, please.
This was an agreement that happened between two consenting adults, and the young lad is getting caught in the crossfire.
Do not reply to this post on thread.
Thanks,
DBB

The Sweeper

Look I think it's a bit harsh to paint the child as some sort of empathy-free sociopath who's trying to manipulate his way to computer game entertainment and is actively cruel to the dog. However he obviously doesn't care for it properly, as any young teenager might not, and his mother's had enough.

Now she feels terribly sorry, and if the kid really loved the dog (which he may have), he's probably making her life a living hell and she's crumbling and has contacted you to return the dog.

Now saying that, if it was me, I'd keep the dog.

On the face of it, with a companion pet, the ability to learn to ignore your cat (a collie/lab is a bright dog, so you have a good chance there but don't let your guard down for a second), adults who'll exercise and care for it responsibly and so on, the new dog is on a winner. If the mother had come on here stating she wanted to rehome the dog, chances are this forum would advise her not to do it, and get her to get the youngfella to step up. But that's because a home like yours is hard to find, and most dogs in that situation would end up surrendered and PTS at the pound, or in a very uncertain position with an unreliable future.

This dog is already in a safe place and a good home. The kid will get over it, and hopefully value the next dog more - and honestly I'm more worried about the mother. A woman who'd make a snap decision like that isn't necessarily the best pet owner in the world, and she is the dog's primary carer. Let them rant and get on with your own life, I'd say. It's up to that woman to wear the responsibility for what she did, tbh.

If the dog's microchip etc. is now in your name, possession is 9/10ths and all that. (Get the dog chipped in your name if he isn't already chipped).

/oops - sorry, DBB, I was typing while you'd posted and didn't see your 'lay off the kid' comment until after.

DBB

The Sweeper wrote: »

If the dog's microchip etc. is now in your name, possession is 9/10ths and all that. (Get the dog chipped in your name if he isn't already chipped).

Just to clarify, in this case, the dog was willingly handed over by the owner to a willing recipient. Legally, this means the dog 100% belongs to the OP now. No piece of paper or microchip is required to prove this, as the dog himself is considered to be the receipt for the agreement.
That's the legal story. The sensible thing to do would be to get your new dog licensed and microchipped in any case.

maggiepip

Cant believe anyone could advise you to give the dog back. The poor dog was living in a run waiting on a 13 year old child to walk it for a few minutes a day - more than likely spending 99.9% of his time alone, bored and neglected.

The responsibility for the dogs welfare and happiness lies with the responsible adult (in this case the parents)- not a 13 year old child - any responsible parent knows this. So the mother blaming the child says it all really.

Do not give the dog back OP!!! He has a beautiful home now with you and your family and he must think hes in paradise :-)

The Sweeper

Ah - could be an Ireland/Australia thing - here to transfer a pet you have to transfer ownership on the microchipping form and there have been cases where previous owners have contested ownership ("He was just minding the dog while I was on holidays!") and had their animal returned to them because their name was still on the chip papers (and because the new owners hadn't set up the dog with their own vet yet, so on.)

DBB

The Sweeper wrote: »

Ah - could be an Ireland/Australia thing - here to transfer a pet you have to transfer ownership on the microchipping form and there have been cases where previous owners have contested ownership ("He was just minding the dog while I was on holidays!") and had their animal returned to them because their name was still on the chip papers (and because the new owners hadn't set up the dog with their own vet yet, so on.)

So the system in Australia is more akin to the transfer of a car to a new owner over here? I wish they'd do the same here!
The whole giving a dog away thing, legally speaking, is exactly the same as giving away a fridge, a TV, whatever... the dog is considered an item.
The process of transferring ownership of an item in a free transfer has three elements to it, going back hundreds of years and as such is common law.
First, the owner must be willing to hand the item over.
Second, the recipient must willingly accept it.
Third, the physical act of handing the item over must occur.

At that moment, the item becomes the property of the recipient. If the ex-owner has a change of heart after the act, they have no right to the item back, and must rely only on the goodwill of the new owner to hand it back, but there is no onus to do so.

njs030

Keep the dog!!!

The child might well be upset but if he gets the dog back he'll do the exact same thing and the only difference is you've lost a furry friend.

The situation is totally the mothers fault and its very unfair to drag you into her domestic issues.

Personally i suggest deleting and block her on Facebook and move on with your life, any calls texts etc just remind her that she chose to let a dog go and he is now a part of a new happy home!!

Dodd

If you could get the Mother to explain to the child that the dog is much better off and happier where it is then if the child cares for it he will understand.
When my Son was 13 or 14 we took in a dog that would have been pts and about 10 months later my brother lost the dog.
The women that found it loved the dog so I gave it to her because we didn't have the time to give it a good life.
My son understood.

Pumpkinseeds

muddypaws wrote: »

Wow, judgemental much?

13 year old boys aren't allowed to cry? This thread saddens me in so many ways. So many assumptions being made, it's an internet forum, one side of the story is being told only.

I meant that the mother is possibly making the crying bit up to guilt trip the OP into giving the dog back. I stand by everything else, he's 13 years old not 3, I'm sure mammy will cave and buy him a new dog eventually. Reminds me of all the uproar over the dog that students in UL lured out into the road(allegedly) and that got killed. Turns out the dog was only a few months old, was out roaming unsupervised and belonged to the teenage boy. Who was so devestated by the loss of his dog that mammy ran out and bought him a new one immediately.

Animals aren't disposable and he needs to learn to take responsibility for his actions, that is something his mother should have taught him by this stage. The dog is settling in at his new home, it's an indoor dog now after living outdoors, I'd hate to think of the poor dog fecked outdoors again, especially during winter. I've no sympathy whatsoever for the original owners, teenage or adult.

The Sweeper

DBB wrote: »

So the system in Australia is more akin to the transfer of a car to a new owner over here?

Not 'officially', but it's been grounds for a contest in the past. Friend of mine went through something of an issue with their cat - formerly their housemate's cat.

kylith

While I feel sorry for the 13 year old this is, hopefully, a lesson that he will learn; a dog has to be taken care of. As for giving it back I'd be going with 'Sorry madam, all sales are final'.

cocker5

OP,

Here's what i think...

Firstly the most important "issue" here is the dogs welfare and it looks like he has fallen on his feet (paws ) with you as his new owner so well done

Secondly yes its sad for the boy he is only 13, BUT its the mothers issue / responsibility to look after the dog and her child (by teaching him manners / responsibility etc) - "if" you were to give the dog back it would be to keep the boy happy and NOT whats in the dogs best interest (I know your not doing this but im just making a point). Also IMO a dog is a "family" pet as in the whole family look after him, not just a 13 year old so if the mother wasnt interested either, again another dog "disposbale" - thank god the dog got away when he did.... otherwise he would have a life of dog pens, isolation etc to look forward to.

so moral of the story is keep the dog, he's happy (and far better off), your happy, to the mother think long and hard before getting another pet... and then giving them away so lightly...

maggiepip

The problem here is that the mother of a 13 year old boy believes that the care of the dog is the responsibility of this child!!! She also appears to believe its acceptable for a poor dog to live its life in a run once the child gives it a bit of a walk a day. Unbelievable!!! Thank heavens the dog got out of there.

The Sweeper

brianregan09 wrote: »

Funny thing though i collected him friday morning she texted me saturday (24hours later) that he was only after noticing him gone

I think this is the bit that really struck me. The husband got up this morning before me and let our dog out into the yard for the loo. I shambled out of bed 10 minutes later and stood outside the bedroom door, waiting for the dog to greet me.

No dog.

Open eyes properly. Look about. 'Where's the dog?'

'Oh he's outside in the yard for the loo, hasn't come back in yet'.

...so it took me precisely 20 seconds this morning to notice my dog wasn't where he should have been. Over 24 hours? Just wouldn't happen.

cocker5

The Sweeper wrote: »

I think this is the bit that really struck me. The husband got up this morning before me and let our dog out into the yard for the loo. I shambled out of bed 10 minutes later and stood outside the bedroom door, waiting for the dog to greet me.

No dog.

Open eyes properly. Look about. 'Where's the dog?'

'Oh he's outside in the yard for the loo, hasn't come back in yet'.

...so it took me precisely 20 seconds this morning to notice my dog wasn't where he should have been. Over 24 hours? Just wouldn't happen.

Spot on...

sligoface

Seriously those two dogs look like such a great match, does anyone really think he would be happier left on his own in a run, ie: outdoor cage? He would be missing his new buddy (OP's other dog) terribly if he were to go back there. I'd cut off all contact now that they are trying to renege on the agreement.

BonsaiKitten

Madam wrote: »

'it'?:mad:

Oh ffs, it's a dog, it's not like it will get offended by being called it.

OP - good to hear the dog has a decent home now, it'll probably be a tough lesson for the kid to learn (and he really is a kid, he's what, in 1st or 2nd year?) and hopefully if he gets another pet in the future it'll have taught him to be a better owner.
Shame on his mother for not teaching him to take care of his pets, she's the primary owner after all.

kopfan77

I seriously cant believe people are actually advocating that the OP should give the dog back....what the hell!!

So the dog should suffer because the kid shows interest only when the dog is gone...and by the way it took him 24 hours to realise the dog wasnt there any more....and despite the fact that the mother has confirmed that she gave him multiple opportunities to change his ways and walk and care for the dog which he chose to ignore.

I dont care if people say this is the normal attitude of a kid this age...if thats the case then thats the problem with kids these days!! He aint gonna change is ways and give it a couple of weeks it'll be the dog sitting unwanted in the run again when he could be in a quality home being cared for

Also the fact that he was stuck up on donedeal for 20quid also says a lot....just wanted rid!!

OP, I say the dog is yours....you sound as if you are already giving him a better life than he had and for that reason, thats all that matters to me

stoeger2000

Text the mother the link to this thread, see if she sees sense then.

NewStart!

Exact same thing happened me OP took in a pup from a now ex friend who thought having a 8 week old pup in an apartment alone for 12 hours a day every day was a great idea. She had the pup 4 days and then I was phoned to take it now I've no clue what would have happened if I hadn't drove to get her that night but Id say it wouldnt have been a good outcome. Que 3 weeks later her screeching that she wanted it back ! And now that it was "older" it could be left in the neighbors garden for the day until she came home ! Needless to say the dog is still with me being spoilt !
OP dont give the dog back to a life of being shut in a cage in isolation or when the mother decides to teach him a lesson again and the poor dog end up in a pound or in unsavory hands. If she really cared re-homing him through donedeal for near nothing wouldn't have been the way to do it. The dog is lucky you took him off donedeal Enjoy him/her and delete the her of fb !