In Laws

lennyloulou

How do you mix/get on with your in-laws?
Am with my hubbie 5 yrs, married 2yr, no kids, live 2 1/2 hr drive ( 3 hr minimum when stuck in traffic en route on a Friday after work!) from mother in law/father in law's house.
Mother in law is central, dominant matriarch figure with all her grown up kids living in a three mile radius of her. Father in law is a quiet, passive individual. we visit 1 weekend in 5 or 6.
The surrounding 5 grown up , married, working, kids are very dependent on her for child care, cooking dinners. Mother in-law loves this dependancy. On average 2 daughters ring 5 times a day on the phone- questions vary between what did they have for dinner, what is going in now.... constant detail required by them- these daughters are 36yr and 37yr with young families.

Hubbie is the only child to have 'moved' away- he wont admit it but he gets this guilt complex from the females in the family... smart texts/facebook comments ' we never see you...poor me' 'hey stranger' - lots more undercurrent stuff... it may appear menial as I write but the tone in which it is inferred is what I pickup on. I am no-fool and I am not 'reading' into it. it is what it is unquestionably.

Hubbie also gets a mega list of jobs to do when he arrives home, even though the brother down the road does feck all around for the parents. I get on with the sisters alright, 2 have visited us twice and it was fantastic to have them, 2 other sisters haven't visited our home ever and despite many invitations, they have never came to see us. these 2 are the most verbally cutting to hubbie, who is soft and just takes it.

I am truly sick of this indebted guilt my hubbies feels towards 'deserting the family fold' and although I have brought the subject up very delicately, he shrugs it off reluctantly, saying it doesn't bother him.
mother in law and I chat and get on ok, I don't want to get too close as she is so controlling that I would be afraid she would try to control me...I have been independent since 23yr, mortgage since 24yr, I always made up my own mind to do things/travel etc. am in my 30's now.
have any of you ever experience this?

Amirani

Mod Note:
If you're looking for specific advice on your situation OP then this may be better suited to Relationship Issues. If you want a general discussion on the topic then we'll keep it here.

Amirani

I see you've already posted the same thread in Personal Issues. Duplicate posting across forums isn't allowed, so I'm going to lock this one.