The Belt

bradygold53

Do parents still take the belt to their kids or is this a thing of the past?

Lisha

The past for most worthwhile parents I would think.

Howard Juneau

You're not getting any free parenting tips here!

darkpagandeath

would not cutting off there access to the internet be better these days

Ilik Urgee

Spare the rod spoil the child:eek:

Sir Humphrey Appleby

Much less prevalent than in my childhood, but more prevalent than we like to think.

I hope it's in the past, but I think we're going to see a lot of defenders.

hansfrei

Parents are too fat to wear belts. Addidas tracksuits don't come with belts.

bradygold53

I was often leathered by the ole lad as a kid. I didn't think I was abused in any way shape or form. It's funny the way most parents would not even contemplate it these days!

pajor

Must still be happening though, if there's this.

Esoteric_

bradygold53 wrote: »

I was often leathered by the ole lad as a kid. I didn't think I was abused in any way shape or form. It's funny the way most parents would not even contemplate it these days!

If you were hit with a belt, you WERE abused.

timthumbni

A belt? That's very posh. We were beaten with a "stick out of the hedge"

Daemos

I wish it was still going on. Young children wouldn't be the little sh1ts they are now if there was a bit of incentive to behave

Obviously I'm not condoning massive amounts of abuse, but a slap on the bottom with a wooden spoon never did anyone any harm

hansfrei

timthumbni wrote: »

A belt? That's very posh. We were beaten with a "stick out of the hedge"

,

what were you when you were younger? A horse?

Neigh

Giddy up

Esoteric_

Daemos wrote: »

I wish it was still going on. Young children wouldn't be the little sh1ts they are now if there was a bit of incentive to behave

Obviously I'm not condoning massive amounts of abuse, but a slap on the bottom with a wooden spoon never did anyone any harm

I hate that logic, it didn't do anybody any harm. That's bollocks. It did me harm, and plenty of people I know, too.

And despite being hit as a child, I was STILL a little shít, as you put it.

Ilik Urgee

bradygold53 wrote: »

I was often leathered by the ole lad as a kid. I didn't think I was abused in any way shape or form. It's funny the way most parents would not even contemplate it these days!

I was too, often had my mother and sisters in floods of tears trying to pull him back off me.

Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, cost me 20 years trying to figure it all out before I eventually came to terms with it.

No and a thousand times no.

Sir Humphrey Appleby

Esoteric_ wrote: »

If you were hit with a belt, you WERE abused.

I agree, but I was raised in the 70's early 80's when it was common to be beaten with straps / belts/ the rod both at home and at school. It was not considered abuse back then, in fact it was encouraged if anything.

Esoteric_

Sir Humphrey Appleby wrote: »

I agree, but I was raised in the 70's early 80's when it was common to be beaten with straps / belts/ the rod both at home and at school. It was not considered abuse back then, in fact it was encouraged if anything.

Oh yeah, it was the norm, but I don't see how somebody as an adult today cannot understand or accept that it was in fact, abuse.

DublinArnie

I think it should be the other way around, a lot of parents deserve the belt!

Daemos

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I hate that logic, it didn't do anybody any harm. That's bollocks. It did me harm, and plenty of people I know, too.

And despite being hit as a child, I was STILL a little shít, as you put it.

How so, if you don't mind me asking?

Sir Humphrey Appleby

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Oh yeah, it was the norm, but I don't see how somebody as an adult today cannot understand or accept that it was in fact, abuse.

Like I say Esoteric, I agree, but it was of its time in its time.
Should it be outlawed today, most certainly.

Esoteric_

Daemos wrote: »

How so, if you don't mind me asking?

Not going to get into the nitty gritty, because I'm not in the mood to spill my life story on an internet forum, but let's just say I spent several years in counselling, trying to fathom why my parents felt it necessary to cause me physical pain to try to control my behaviour, especially when things like taking away my pocket money worked better. Living in fear is not a nice feeling.

GorillaRising

Esoteric_ wrote: »

If you were hit with a belt, you WERE abused.

Not everyone was abused or was a victim.

Some people that got hit with a belt got hit for being a little boll0cks. End of.

Not saying I agree with it. It's just a bit hysterical to claim everyone was 'abused'.

Lisha

In my experience slapping a child only makes kids bolder and fills them with resentment.
It also can crush their self esteem.

As Esoteric said other there are other methods of discipline that if used consistently are much more effective.

Esoteric_

GorillaRising wrote: »

Not everyone was abused or was a victim.

Some people that got hit with a belt got hit for being a little boll0cks. End of.

I didn't call anybody a victim.


Being a 'little bollocks' is no legitimate excuse for hitting somebody.

Does that mean if I'm going out with a man, and he's acting the bollocks, I can punch him, because he's getting it for acting the bollocks, so that's okay?

Most people would consider that to be domestic abuse.

wil

bradygold53 wrote: »

Do parents still take the belt to their kids or is this a thing of the past?

judging by other threads on here, the parents are keeping it all for themselves:pac:

Could never dream of using it on mine, wasnt the way I was dragged up either.

GorillaRising

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I didn't call anybody a victim.


Being a 'little bollocks' is no legitimate excuse for hitting somebody.

Does that mean if I'm going out with a man, and he's acting the bollocks, I can punch him, because he's getting it for acting the bollocks, so that's okay?

Most people would consider that to be domestic abuse.

Straw man.

Kids and adults are different.

Daemos

Esoteric_ wrote: »

Not going to get into the nitty gritty, because I'm not in the mood to spill my life story on an internet forum, but let's just say I spent several years in counselling, trying to fathom why my parents felt it necessary to cause me physical pain to try to control my behaviour, especially when things like taking away my pocket money worked better. Living in fear is not a nice feeling.

I would like to elaborate on this but you don't want to talk about it, which is your choice, so I'm not going to make you

All I'll say is that if it's controlled, not excessive and not traumatising, I honestly believe that the use of a wooden spoon every now and then is better than not using it

I am pie

A quick slap across the back of the legs didn't constitute abuse in my case, there are of course more effective ways of discipline but I honestly don't believe it was too damaging. Makes me laugh now when I think of my mum telling us she would "skelp our hides" or "warm the back of our legs for us" ...it was never done with ferocity, it was more the shock of it, the thought of how bad it would be never met with the reality.

Not advocating it now, but I think it did effectively reel us in a few times.

Esoteric_

GorillaRising wrote: »

Straw man.

Kids and adults are different.

How is it a strawman argument?

Please explain why it is okay to wallop a child with a belt, but not an adult.

pharmaton

would a belt (the thing that holds your trousers up) imply the dad was the enforcer or would mams have used it too? (my mam was the disciplinarian, no belt but plenty of belts)

GorillaRising

Esoteric_ wrote: »

How is it a strawman argument?

Please explain why it is okay to wallop a child with a belt, but not an adult.

Hang on. You were the one who said 'if you were hit with a belt it was abuse'.

I'm saying that's hardly the case. Maybe in your situation it was. Calling every child who got a wallop of their parent as having being abused (which you might want to look up) is simply hysterical.

Also, I find it hard to fathom you can't tell the difference between 'disciplining' - and being in a situation whereby a parent felt it necessary - and striking an adult.

I am pie

ps..my dad was never the enforcer, more than saying "you better do what your ma tells you"

maybe it's more sinister if the father is being physical.

Bullchomper

Belt? We used to get the wooden spoon, staple utensil of '80s parenting. I don't know anyone who hits their children these days. I was sent to Irish college for a year when I was 11 (1991) and they had just stopped using the cane five years previous (even though, according to wiki, it had been officially banned in 1982), phew! My brother had it when he was there. We were shown the paddle they used by our teacher on our first day, massive yoke with the customary wind resistant holes. Scared the **** out us.

Esoteric_

GorillaRising wrote: »

Hang on. You were the one who said 'if you were hit with a belt it was abuse'.

I'm saying that's hardly the case. Maybe in your situation it was. Calling every child who got a wallop of their parent as having being abused (which you might want to look up) is simply hysterical.

I see you avoided explaining what I asked you to explain.

I'm fully aware of what abuse is, thanks. I'd advise that you take your own advice and look it up. Hitting your child with a belt is physical abuse.

GorillaRising

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I see you avoided explaining what I asked you to explain.

I'm fully aware of what abuse is, thanks. I'd advise that you take your own advice and look it up. Hitting your child with a belt is physical abuse.

is a type of argument and is an informal fallacy based on misrepresentation of an opponent's position.[3] To "attack a straw man" is to create the illusion of having refuted a proposition by replacing it with a superficially similar yet unequivalent proposition

You're creating the illusion of having refuted what I said by using an example with two adults.

pharmaton

I am pie wrote: »

ps..my dad was never the enforcer, more than saying "you better do what your ma tells you"

maybe it's more sinister if the father is being physical.

yep, my da was a big softie, wouldn't have been capable of hurting any living thing.

Dravokivich

pajor wrote: »

Must still be happening though, if there's this.

Slapping / Smacking is completely different to a whip off a belt.

Esoteric_

GorillaRising wrote: »

is a type of argument and is an informal fallacy based on misrepresentation of an opponent's position.[3] To "attack a straw man" is to create the illusion of having refuted a proposition by replacing it with a superficially similar yet unequivalent proposition

You're creating the illusion of having refuted what I said by using an example with two adults.

I asked you to explain the difference between hitting an adult, and hitting a child, and what makes one acceptable and the other unacceptable.

darkpagandeath

stop giving them massive amounts of sugar and fat . (you wonder why there hyper and cant sit still)
stop treating them like adults when they are 4-5. (no you cant chose what's on T.V, no it's not cute when they answer back to an adult)
stop letting them play 18+ games when there 6-7.

just some things that would stop them being little Sh*ts as you say

GorillaRising

Dravokivich wrote: »

Slapping / Smacking is completely different to a whip off a belt.

To be fair, it is.

I think is some cases though the belt was used as it represented something, rather than it being use for more deadly force.

darkpagandeath

GorillaRising wrote: »

To be fair, it is.

I think is some cases though the belt was used as it represented something, rather than it being use for more deadly force.

so it's not ok to send Chuck Norris in ?

GorillaRising

Esoteric_ wrote: »

I asked you to explain the difference between hitting an adult, and hitting a child, and what makes one acceptable and the other unacceptable.

Adults know better. Often children don't and can be very very difficult to reason with as they're kids and this is where some parents will smack their child as a control mechanism.

Again, not saying it's right. Just getting back to the original point I was making of - smack from a parent doesn't equal 'abuse' necessarily.

Daemos

GorillaRising wrote: »

To be fair, it is.

I think is some cases though the belt was used as it represented something, rather than it being use for more deadly force.

To be fair, it isn't

Using a belt is far more extreme, and not acceptable

Esoteric_

GorillaRising wrote: »

Adults know better. Often children don't and can be very very difficult to reason with as they're kids and this is where some parents will smack their child as a control mechanism.

Again, not saying it's right. Just getting back to the original point I was making of - smack from a parent doesn't equal 'abuse' necessarily.

I never said a smack from a parent = abuse.

I said whacking your child with a belt = abuse.

There's a hell of a lot more force and pain involved in the latter.

I am pie

Anyone smacking a kid with a belt wants to take a trip to see a shrink. Eve moreso if they think there is any benefit in it.

wazky

I am pie wrote: »

Anyone smacking a kid with a belt wants to take a trip to see a shrink. Eve moreso if they think there is any benefit in it.

Why?

Does the shrink need a good belt of it too?

DazMarz

I remember once getting hit on the soles of my feet with a leather belt by my grandfather. Apparently he lost patience with me for not sitting on the couch. I was lying, stomach down on the couch, with my feet soles-up in the air. Apparently he was afraid I'd break the arm of the couch (it was wooden, and my feet were swinging close to it). My grandmother wasn't in the room at the time.

He said nothing more, and I heard movement behind me. What I felt next was up there with the most excruciating pains I've ever felt. My legs were grabbed and I felt as if my feet were on fire as slap after slap of a leather belt rained down on the (bare) soles of my feet.

I was 8 years old. I screamed and I cried in pain and shock. This, naturally, brought my grandmother running to see what was wrong. She didn't speak to my grandfather for a week after it. I wasn't able to walk without a limp for a few days. My grandmother begged me not to tell my parents what had happened. She was afraid they would stop me from coming to their house.

I never did tell my parents what happened. Never told anyone really. My grandfather did apologise a few days after. He never told me why he reacted so badly. If he'd shouted or simply given me a more forceful warning, I would have done as he said.

I wasn't "traumatised" or "scarred" or anything of the sorts by this incident. But I'll never forget it. Probably because it was such an isolated incident of being hit as a kid is why I can remember it. That, the ferocity and the pain of it.

I did get the odd "skelp" as a child. Who didn't? That doesn't justify it, at all. But I was never beaten or physically abused. I did hate the wooden spoon, though. I got the odd hit of that. So much so did I hate the dreaded wooden spoon, I once put it in the washing machine, set it to a full wash and spin cycle and left it. Succeeded in breaking both spoon and washing machine. Amazingly, I escaped major censure for that incident.

I feel that if I ever have kids of my own, I will never, ever raise my hand to them. I would never be able to forgive myself if I did. I'm not a violent person anyway, but I would never be able to look at myself the same way again if I hit or hurt the person/people whom you are supposed to love, protect and nurture above all others (ie. your own children).

Yes, kids need to be disciplined! There's nothing worse than a bunch of spoiled, ruined little brats who get away with holy murder. Actually, there is something worse. The kids who are too terrified to do anything because they might get beaten for it. The only thing worse than an undisciplined child is an overly-harsh disciplined child. Let kids be kids, but make sure there are boundaries and that they respect those boundaries. Punish bad behaviour, but not with violence. Violence never solved anything. Especially not when it's used against helpless, defenceless children.

I am pie

wazky wrote: »

Why?

Does the shrink need a good belt of it too?

No, listen, it's just a chat. Don't worry about it, come in and lie down on the couch and tell us all about it wazky.

Let me just see if this sleeveless jacket fits you....take this pill for me, good man.

wazky

I am pie wrote: »

No, listen, it's just a chat. Don't worry about it, come in and lie down on the couch and tell us all about it wazky.

Let me just see if this sleeveless jacket fits you....take this pill for me, good man.

Hang on a second while I remove my belt....

Awesomeness

When I saw the thread title I thought of this

So disappointing