Am I being pessimistic?

galwayhooker

Just said would post here to get fellow ladies opinions but is it just me or are guys just players? Am in my early 30s and any guy who approaches me who says he's single turns out to be a player.
I don't drink so jst find am more alert to the sleeze that's out there on a night out.Dont mean to sound big headed but think when guys see me they see a pretty girl having a good time and think she could be easy - dont't know?? Just because I don't kiss a guy in a bar they find me "hard work".I don't dress like a prostitute but dress to show off my figure cos I work bloody damn hard to keep in shape
Also lot of people think i am in mid 20's so don't know if that has nothing to do with it?Am well educated and have good job - some guys I know assume that I would be a bimbo
Set up a fake profile on POF and guys i meet on night out always seem to be on it
Just said would post here to get opinions from other girls

Shelga

Don't go to nightclubs expecting to meet long-term partners.

galwayhooker

I'm not even on about long term partners - even just to date and flirt with.so funny cos even in gym some guys that barely chat to me want to be friends o and then they chat there like they knew me for years??

sunshine and showers

Set up a real profile on POF and/or OkCupid. Don't talk to the sleazy guys. See how it goes. You can find some nice people on there!

runawaybishop

Its just you.

Maybe re read your post, you set up a fake profile on a dating site?? you are in your thirties and you still talking in terms of some one thinking you are easy( a very teenage concern ) you seem to be very suspicious of men and going out with your mind already made about men who approach you while simultaneously going out dressed to attract attention. Maybe your don't realise thats the way your are coming across.

Most men ( and women ) are normal people neither good nor bad just trying their best and getting on with life.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

If you're in a club, having a good time, dancing, dressed up nicely and as you say yourself good looking then guys will always be drawn to you.

The thing is people in clubs are drinking, many heavily, the music is loud and it's usually kinda busy/chaotic. Most interactions in this kind of environment are going to be more blunt with little substance.

This kind of situation is far more likely to attract a 'player', goes with the territory.

cantdecide

@OP: What kind of guys would you like to meet and with what intentions? You haven't really given very much away but you've dabbled in online dating and are vexed at being approached by jerks.

iwantmydinner

galwayhooker wrote: »

Just said would post here to get fellow ladies opinions but is it just me or are guys just players? Am in my early 30s and any guy who approaches me who says he's single turns out to be a player.
I don't drink so jst find am more alert to the sleeze that's out there on a night out.Dont mean to sound big headed but think when guys see me they see a pretty girl having a good time and think she could be easy - dont't know?? Just because I don't kiss a guy in a bar they find me "hard work".I don't dress like a prostitute but dress to show off my figure cos I work bloody damn hard to keep in shape
Also lot of people think i am in mid 20's so don't know if that has nothing to do with it?Am well educated and have good job - some guys I know assume that I would be a bimbo
Set up a fake profile on POF and guys i meet on night out always seem to be on it
Just said would post here to get opinions from other girls

What's your definition of a 'player'?

I've only ever come across a handful of genuinely sleazy guys - they are in the minority in my experience.

Also, why did you set up a fake profile?? I set up a real profile. Met really nice guys.

pharmaton

Wait, you just want to flirt and have a good time, possibly a "date", have set up fake profiles online but want nothing serious. Can someone share the definition of player with me I'm confused.

Hoboo

Your user name is GalwayHooker. Nuff said.

Hermione*

Hoboo wrote: »

Your user name is GalwayHooker. Nuff said.

Mod:

Galway hooker is a traditional Irish fishing boat.

Please don't post if you have nothing of value to add to the discussion.

Hermione*

PingO_O

pharmaton wrote: »

Wait, you just want to flirt and have a good time, possibly a "date", have set up fake profiles online but want nothing serious. Can someone share the definition of player with me I'm confused.

+1 you say you only want dating and flirting and then you have a problem with guys who want the exact same thing! Or did we pick you up wrong that's what I got anyway.

OnTheCouch

I know you were specifically looking for female opinions, but as a man of a similar age to you, I can safely say that most men my age or even younger are not players.

Unfortunately, in the nightclub/bar scenario that you already mentioned, you will tend to come across the same sort of man quite frequently, i.e. those who regularly approach strange women and are not afraid to get rejected. Because they have this courage, they get round different women quite often and would not be the best choices for longterm partners, or even for casual dating. When I say casual here I mean seeing someone exclusively for a short period of time, not one-night stands or anything like that. I would say this type you mention only represents 20-30 percent of men, in Ireland anyway. Most men I know have great difficulty approaching women they do not know already and would as a general rule be very loyal in relationships.

Even for flirting/casual stuff, I would recommend you look elsewhere other than bars/nightclubs.

buttonteaser

that really all you will get in a club. drunk girls and guys. i mean a lot of the girls act like that too on a night out. its just not the right environment. i suppose going to day events or the beach or places like that you might meet someone. i need to use that advice and find myself a man haha

lisasimpson

I kindof get what the OP means but I do think she needs to change her outlook maybe. ive have turned 30 and at the stage where id like to met a guy who would be interested in making the effort to get to know me,. I seem to still attract guys who seems to want someone they can contact when they are bored and want to be entertained and I am fed up of them. yes of course guys you see out could turn out to be on dating websites. I know of some of my friends on it and they said its hard to have a decent conversation with someone on a night out. but they still like going out with their friends for a few drinks etc at weekends sure where else is there for us to go

boogle

You are not going to meet a life partner in a nightclub. People (male and female) have a certain attitude and behaviour in clubs. Get out there in arenas with less alcohol and dim lighting. Most men are genuine and good-natured, but you're not going to see the best of anyone in a nightclub.

Frito

I did! I wouldn't write nightclubs off, but consider them the chocolate/soda/alcohol of dating.
Clubbing in moderation as part of a healthy, balanced, social life..!