Christians and foul mouthed friends/family...

mashedbanana

I'm just enquiring, does anyone else have the same issue? Family & some friends (but more so family) that willing using bad language all the time?

I personally don't see the need for it, you can get your point across without out all the effin & blindin. I had another dose of it today with a sister of mine. She was ...going on & on...about someone, and I just looked at the kids and gave them that 'look' to scamper off out, cos I knew what was coming. No matter how many times I ask her/family in general, to watch their language, it's no use. It's like it's bred into them!

One of my girls, during the hour and a half visit, started some sort of odd behaviour, and I quietly asked her to be a little more girly, and less boyish. Obviously what ever she was up to, needed me to say something to her.

Well, you guessed it, my sister came at me with her usual. 'You stand up for yourself, be a strong girl, don't be a walk over, girly my a*s*.' Etc. I stood shocked and surprised for a few moments, and then ushered my daughter out the door. While I left my sister inside muttering away to herself. Naturally If I do correct her/family about using bad language around me or the kids, i'm told to 'chill out, stop over reacting' or I get the eyes to heaven. Like I'm a spoil sport, or dry. No fun. Etc.

The problem is, A lot of these issues are with family. How do I avoid the cursing unless I avoid family! Does any other Christian have the same issues. I suppose you don't have to be a Christian to have these issues!

Also, just as a side question... Gossiping. Are we as God fearing women, supposed to avoid at all costs gossiping (particularly about other mother/families) It's everwhere! Like EVERYWHERE!

The only 'safe' solution that I seem to come up with each and everytime I sit and thing about it....is living life like a hermit!

Or at least restrict contact with people we/I know may not be of gain to me. It is becoming increasingly difficult to shield my children from the evils of the world. I know we are not supposed to be 'of this world' we are meant to be different. In an obvious way. We are to 'come out from amoung them'

I'm doing my best to steer clear of al of them! LOL...

well, sorry for the rant! Any advice welcomed! :-)

martinedwards

Pray for strength to be able to ignore it.

because they will do it on purpose just to wind you up.

SonOfAdam

Leaving aside belief for the moment, anyone doing or saying things around your kids that you've expressed you don't want them subjected to are showing a complete disregard for you - that's the main issue - they have no respect for you and furthermore undermine you as a parent in front of your own kids. That would be the start of any conversation I would have with them.

On the faith issue, it's simply a case of light and darkness and living as a hermit isn't the answer. You are called to be light and that doesn't chage regardless of circumstance or difficult families - so be light (Phil2:15):)

sbsquarepants

mashedbanana wrote: »

One of my girls, during the hour and a half visit, started some sort of odd behaviour, and I quietly asked her to be a little more girly, and less boyish. Obviously what ever she was up to, needed me to say something to her.

It's not for me to tell you (or anyone else) how to talk to your kids, but i don't think that trying to force her to be more girly and less boyish will do her any good whatsoever to be quite honest. Better to let her be how she is, in my opinion. Teach her boundaries and manners and so on by all means, but trying to coerce her to be more girly is going too far i think.

Also, just as a little aside - i heard a thing on the radio the other day, some study or other, that said people who swear in everyday conversation tend to be more honest than people who don't. I can't recall the details though.

homer911

Mashedbanana - I empathise with you. Growing up I never heard bad language in a family situation, just occasionally out on the street, or in school. Was around at my sister's the other day and was cringing when she swore - absolutely no reason for the swearing. This is a free country and you cant dictate how other people speak to you, at least not in their house. We seem to be surrounded by bad and sexual language these days - work, school, TV etc. and we cant protect our kids from this. but we can set an example as to what we consider acceptable, and correct them when they step over the line. I remind them that what's coming out of their mouths is a reflection of what's going on in their hearts.

It really annoys me though when I hear Christians swearing...

GarIT

mashedbanana wrote: »

I quietly asked her to be a little more girly, and less boyish.

Do you not think that is extremely sexist and a horrible thing to say to your kids, have you never heard of Christian values?

Can you explain what is wrong with some words that you can't use them, I have never been able to understand that.

super_furry

Does it say in the bible that you shouldn't swear or listen to people cursing?

homer911

super_furry wrote: »

Does it say in the bible that you shouldn't swear or listen to people cursing?

There is a lot of swearing in the Old Testament - Jews are basically told not to swear by false gods so presumably swearing by the one true God was ok! In the New Testament we are told not to swear at all (Matthew 5:34 and James 5:12)

In 2 Corinthians 2:5, there is a reference to offence or grief being caused, that it goes beyond the immediate people involved

In the gospels, there are references (eg Matthew 5:30) to cutting off parts of your body if they cause you to stumble. While I wouldnt advocate chopping your ears off or cutting out your tongue, the point is well made. Christians are called to live in the world in order to influence it. While it might affect our sensibilities, we cant avoid hearing bad language, but we should not repeat it or encourage it by our own actions, for fear we cause someone else to stumble

(i've often wondered where this puts committted Christians in the context of giving evidence in court - should Christians give an affirmation instead of swearing by Almighty God..?)

doctoremma

mashedbanana wrote: »

I suppose you don't have to be a Christian to have these issues!

Absolutely not. I am very far from any religion but I don't swear when there are children around (even "soft" words) and I certainly wouldn't swear around a family member's or friend's child.

I'm not keen on the gender stereotyping. I read an article only yesterday (which I am, of course, completely unable to locate now) which discussed how teaching girls to be stereotypically "girly" (that they "should" be more demure, less boisterous, praised for "girly" things like good handwriting) does them a disservice in their adult life, how they succeed in careers etc.

However, I agree with SonOfAdam on the key issue (for me). Assuming your children are at an age where they are not quite ready to make their own minds up about various things, I don't think your parenting style/requests should be openly undermined*. If I really had difficulty understanding how or why a friend was dealing with their children, it's something I'd address with them, in the course of regular chit chat, at an appropriate moment.

*Unless, of course, they are cause for real and immediate concern.

For the more general issue - how to shield your children - I'm not sure it's possible. Whatever your life philosophy, perhaps the only thing you can do is teach your children to be themselves, to be true to themselves and to not be led.

tommy2bad

doctoremma has it right.
Never understood peoples aversion to a few four letter words though, I use them all the time, part punctuation, part added emphases. Strangely I never swear when I'm actually angry, by then I'm in full flow and polysyllabic words that are seldom used outside of a dictionary seem to be my default ranting vocabulary.

Just tell them to stop and that you don't like it in your house. Outside I'm sorry to say is public space and you have to put up with it. Part of the give an take of social living.

mashedbanana

GarIT wrote: »

Do you not think that is extremely sexist and a horrible thing to say to your kids, have you never heard of Christian values?

Can you explain what is wrong with some words that you can't use them, I have never been able to understand that.

I am doing my best to raise my girls to be mannerly, polite, and everything that a ...lady...should be. Naturally, I have introduced the Bible to them, and have shown them what God wants his Christian women to be. Now I think they are a little too young to go into ALL of the in's & out's of the Proverbs 31 wife.

to answer the second part of your question, you'd like to know some of the words that I don't want to use, and what I don't want my kids to use? Really? you'd like me to list them? Well, the 'F' word for a start. I know and I assume you also know the origin of that word, and what it actually means?

Another one is the 'c' word, which is actually a derogatory reference to a woman's private area. If you don't mind too much, I'd prefer not to continue!

To answer the first part of your question, I absolutely understand Christian values, maybe even better then most. What about you? Do you understand Christina values? Hmm.

lmaopml

mashedbanana wrote: »

I am doing my best to raise my girls to be mannerly, polite, and everything that a ...lady...should be. Naturally, I have introduced the Bible to them, and have shown them what God wants his Christian women to be. Now I think they are a little too young to go into ALL of the in's & out's of the Proverbs 31 wife.

to answer the second part of your question, you'd like to know some of the words that I don't want to use, and what I don't want my kids to use? Really? you'd like me to list them? Well, the 'F' word for a start. I know and I assume you also know the origin of that word, and what it actually means?

Another one is the 'c' word, which is actually a derogatory reference to a woman's private area. If you don't mind too much, I'd prefer not to continue!

To answer the first part of your question, I absolutely understand Christian values, maybe even better then most. What about you? Do you understand Christina values? Hmm.

I think at some times in ones life everybody 'swears' there is certainly no pretending to be perfect, because we aren't perfect - we're just people like everybody else is, and sometimes being trite with your sister can send the wrong message.

Have you never said a swear word? I know I have, but not in every sentence as part of my vocabulary - I think Irish people swear far too much, and it's not heart felt but can become a habit of sorts, a bad one - there is no harm in pointing the 'habit' out in the right way.

This is a 'parenting' issue more so than a 'swearing' issue imo - I think you and your sister are at odds, and talking helps more than anything else, because sisters know their siblings better than strangers do.

..apart from the fact that they are mostly the very best friend in life. Make peace with your sister no matter what.

mashedbanana

lmaopml wrote: »

I think at some times in ones life everybody 'swears' there is certainly no pretending to be perfect, because we aren't perfect - we're just people like everybody else is, and sometimes being trite with your sister can send the wrong message.

Have you never said a swear word? I know I have, but not in every sentence as part of my vocabulary - I think Irish people swear far too much, and it's not heart felt but can become a habit of sorts, a bad one - there is no harm in pointing the 'habit' out in the right way.

This is a 'parenting' issue more so than a 'swearing' issue imo - I think you and your sister are at odds, and talking helps more than anything else, because sisters know their siblings better than strangers do.

..apart from the fact that they are mostly the very best friend in life. Make peace with your sister no matter what.

Thank you for your input. I haven't fallen out with her at all! but unfortunately, she can have a foul mouth, and doesn't respond (at all!) to any sort of gentle conversation about it. Unfortunately she is a shameless gossip too! As she would say to me 'I'm on my own with the child, and I like to have the craic with people, Shur, I have no husband to come home to me' (chalk & cheese situation I suppose)

Anyway, I sat and thought about it all for a while and realised that there will undoubtedly be Christians out there that think it's okay to swear, and those that think it's not. Even in the presents of children. I'm not perfect, I have been known to let something mild slip, and would instantly ask forgiveness (to our Lord), and also apologise to any present company.

Thanks everyone for your answers. God Bless

lmaopml

mashedbanana wrote: »

Thank you for your input. I haven't fallen out with her at all! but unfortunately, she can have a foul mouth, and doesn't respond (at all!) to any sort of gentle conversation about it. Unfortunately she is a shameless gossip too! As she would say to me 'I'm on my own with the child, and I like to have the craic with people, Shur, I have no husband to come home to me' (chalk & cheese situation I suppose)

Anyway, I sat and thought about it all for a while and realised that there will undoubtedly be Christians out there that think it's okay to swear, and those that think it's not. Even in the presents of children. I'm not perfect, I have been known to let something mild slip, and would instantly ask forgiveness (to our Lord), and also apologise to any present company.

Thanks everyone for your answers. God Bless

Meh, I wasn't trying to run you out mashedbanana, just being honest - I was just trying to point out that sometimes, just 'sometimes' one can see the person behind a vocabulary that sometimes is not 'heartfelt' but can become a bad habit.

She is your sister - go make up, and don't make excuses for it - tell her the truth, say it like it is, that you don't like language in front of your children - and be prepared to fight for a relationship with her, have it out with her and not online.

Nobody will care quite as much for you as she will - so go talk with her.

Brian Shanahan

mashedbanana wrote: »

One of my girls, during the hour and a half visit, started some sort of odd behaviour, and I quietly asked her to be a little more girly, and less boyish. Obviously what ever she was up to, needed me to say something to her.

I'm sorry but we don't live in the 1850's any more, and this behaviour is far beyond the bounds of acceptability. Misogyny (which is what you exhibit) is a far worse habit than using impolite language.

For the sake of your daughter's mental health, and your future relationship with her (she'll resent and hate you her whole life otherwise), let her be who she is, and grow the way she should.

Edit: on the issue of using bad language, I've no problem with it. Yes I'll refrain from using it in inappropriate situations (e.g. in an interview, in front of people it offends), but given two salient facts, 1) that the nature of and words embodying bad language changes constantly (e.g. in Victorian times in polite society it was often a worse offence to say the word "trousers", than break the 4th commandment, and in Edwardian Cornwall the words "cock" {vulgar name for penis} and "****" {vulgar name for vagina} were common components of surnames) and 2) even most 6 and 7 year olds I know both know and use various words like "****", it's not like I'm actually influencing anyone by being a bit foul-mouthed myself.

mashedbanana

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

I'm sorry but we don't live in the 1850's any more, and this behaviour is far beyond the bounds of acceptability. Misogyny (which is what you exhibit) is a far worse habit than using impolite language.

For the sake of your daughter's mental health, and your future relationship with her (she'll resent and hate you her whole life otherwise), let her be who she is, and grow the way she should.

Edit: on the issue of using bad language, I've no problem with it. Yes I'll refrain from using it in inappropriate situations (e.g. in an interview, in front of people it offends), but given two salient facts, 1) that the nature of and words embodying bad language changes constantly (e.g. in Victorian times in polite society it was often a worse offence to say the word "trousers", than break the 4th commandment, and in Edwardian Cornwall the words "cock" {vulgar name for penis} and "****" {vulgar name for vagina} were common components of surnames) and 2) even most 6 and 7 year olds I know both know and use various words like "****", it's not like I'm actually influencing anyone by being a bit foul-mouthed myself.

Well, for a start I thought this was a Christian forum. That would probably be mistake number one for me. (lesson learned)

Mistake number 2, was to assume, I wouldn't be judged, considering I didn't actually say what it was my daughter was doing...for me to correct her.

I'm some what amused, on how I came here about the use of bad language around children, and how as a Christian I should deal with it. Yet it turned into a case of bad mothering/parental issues. That bit actually baffles me tbh.

For the record I actually haven't fallen out with my sister at all. I just don't like her use of language, in general, in fact. That doesn't make me OR her a bad person. I feel, there is absolutely nothing with rearing children in a house hold where bad language isn't used.

'On the issue of bad language, I've no problem with it' Well then, you & I differ. I do have a problem with it! Does that make you a better person then me? You don't use it in front of people you offend? Does that include Children? I'd hope & presume so.

To finish, I have no problem letting my daughter be who she wants to be. That doesn't mean I'm going to let her run wild! Thank you for the lesson on foul language.

............................Time to close the Thread I think....God Bless!...............

lmaopml

Mashedbananna, don't judge us too harshly on the forum - I can see why you are wondering whether it's a 'Christian' forum or not! The Christianity forum is really the meeting point for all kinds of people, not only Christian, so it can be a little hard to get used to -

I'm sorry that you were met with advice in the form of four letter words that people think are ok etc. - that's not funny.

If I myself said anything that hurt you, I'm sorry, I was being honest with you about your sister - we all have sisters like that - I have three that are mostly my best friends, but at times I disagree a LOT with - sisters huh?

However, it's the nature of this board, it's not a 'haven' of happiness and security for Christians, a lot of the time it's anything but because of policy I guess.

Again, sorry if you got a bad feeling here - it takes getting used to I guess, it did for me anyways.

brian_t

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

For the sake of your daughter's mental health, and your future relationship with her (she'll resent and hate you her whole life otherwise), let her be who she is, and grow the way she should.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way they should go; even when they are old they will not depart from it.

Brian Shanahan

mashedbanana wrote: »

Well, for a start I thought this was a Christian forum. That would probably be mistake number one for me. (lesson learned)

Mistake number 2, was to assume, I wouldn't be judged, considering I didn't actually say what it was my daughter was doing...for me to correct her.

I'm some what amused, on how I came here about the use of bad language around children, and how as a Christian I should deal with it. Yet it turned into a case of bad mothering/parental issues. That bit actually baffles me tbh.

For the record I actually haven't fallen out with my sister at all. I just don't like her use of language, in general, in fact. That doesn't make me OR her a bad person. I feel, there is absolutely nothing with rearing children in a house hold where bad language isn't used.

'On the issue of bad language, I've no problem with it' Well then, you & I differ. I do have a problem with it! Does that make you a better person then me? You don't use it in front of people you offend? Does that include Children? I'd hope & presume so.

To finish, I have no problem letting my daughter be who she wants to be. That doesn't mean I'm going to let her run wild! Thank you for the lesson on foul language.

............................Time to close the Thread I think....God Bless!...............

We differ a lot more than you think. For first thing I'm no misogynyst, wanting to effectively enslave half the world because their reproductive organs are inside their bodies, and not outside them.

Your lack of morality on this issue is infinitely worse than the ripeness of my everyday language (which as I have pointed out is only considered rude because of the extremely fetishistic hang-ups of various Victorian rulers).

And frankly if I've upset you over this issue, that is a good thing, because you really need to be told how awful your world view vis a vis women is. Your attitude is what kills baby girls, genitally mutilates their older sisters, and drives young teens to suicide because they are forced into marriages which are little more than nightly rapes.

brian_t wrote: »

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way they should go; even when they are old they will not depart from it.

I don't listen to the "teachings" of long dead groups of misogynists. I use the fact that we've had two and a half thousand years to develop a better and more humane morality than the sorry excuse for a one contained with in the bible.

lmaopml

brian_t wrote: »

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way they should go; even when they are old they will not depart from it.

Children are on loan to us until they become adults, but they are essentially their own person as most will let a parent know when the times comes - I think as a parent one can only hope that most of what we say 'sticks' in some way and is helpful to them when they leave the nest - and even if it seems like it doesn't, well - life has many twists and turns, but a parents job is showing a straight path, shining a light on it and letting their child grow and become responsible..

There is a world out there, and it's not easy navigating ones way through it, parents worry and children dream, and the child is the best teacher which is counter intuitive - what a catch. Age old stuff I suppose.

mashedbanana

brian_t wrote: »

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way they should go; even when they are old they will not depart from it.

This is what I mean. This is exactly what I'm trying to do, in a modern fashion. Even though, now more then ever the world is a dreadful place. I also feel that we are paralleling the times of Daniel. But shur, I suppose that's for another discussion.

I'm not into beating children, but I will correct them. They now the score! every now and again, maybe everyother day,each of them will approach me with a question about the Bible. I love this! It means what I'm saying is sinking in. I have them at 'that' level of interest. Thank God!

I can take these kids anywhere, and never worry that they won't behave themselves. Of course I always give them the usual chat before hand. To remember their manners etc. They are great kids, and have a good enough handle of the Bible. This I am (even though I shouldn't be) proud of.

Hence the need for them not to be brought down, with bad language. But it's EVERYWHERE. They know not to use it! 'Tis my own fault I suppose, I have them too wrapped up maybe. Just trying to shield them, they don't need to know about the big bad world, until they absolutely have to. I'll have them prep'd for that when the time comes. :-)

brian_t

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

I don't listen to the "teachings" of long dead groups of misogynists. I use the fact that we've had two and a half thousand years to develop a better and more humane morality than the sorry excuse for a one contained with in the bible.

Why on earth would a Christian parent take advice from you.

Benny_Cake

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

And frankly if I've upset you over this issue, that is a good thing, because you really need to be told how awful your world view vis a vis women is. Your attitude is what kills baby girls, genitally mutilates their older sisters, and drives young teens to suicide because they are forced into marriages which are little more than nightly rapes.



I don't listen to the "teachings" of long dead groups of misogynists. I use the fact that we've had two and a half thousand years to develop a better and more humane morality than the sorry excuse for a one contained with in the bible.

Brian Shanahan will be taking a month off. Let's get this back on track.

tommy2bad

Yeah, lets leave the tangent on gender stereotypes off this thread. Go start another for that if people must!

mashedbanana;
This is what I mean. This is exactly what I'm trying to do, in a modern fashion. Even though, now more then ever the world is a dreadful place. I also feel that we are paralleling the times of Daniel. But shur, I suppose that's for another discussion.

I don't think it's any worse now than ever, I don't know the time scale your using but if you conciser that a little more than 30 years ago we were imprisoning women for being human, we are improving.

I'm not into beating children, but I will correct them. They now the score! every now and again, maybe everyother day,each of them will approach me with a question about the Bible. I love this! It means what I'm saying is sinking in. I have them at 'that' level of interest. Thank God!

Fair play, great to see a questioning mind being fed! Hope you give as much time to other books as well, I'm recommending the Narnia books as you don't say what age the kids are and TCoN are good for everyone from 7 to 70.

I can take these kids anywhere, and never worry that they won't behave themselves. Of course I always give them the usual chat before hand. To remember their manners etc. They are great kids, and have a good enough handle of the Bible. This I am (even though I shouldn't be) proud of.

Never be ashamed of being proud of your kids,.

Hence the need for them not to be brought down, with bad language. But it's EVERYWHERE. They know not to use it! 'Tis my own fault I suppose, I have them too wrapped up maybe. Just trying to shield them, they don't need to know about the big bad world, until they absolutely have to. I'll have them prep'd for that when the time comes. :-)

Now we are back on track. Why dose bad language bring them down or harm them? This is kind of hard to discuss without knowing the actual words but I'm guessing it the common Anglo Saxon 4 letter ones. Apart from finding them distasteful their is no biblical injunction against this kind of language. Taking the lords name in vain and swearing oaths are forbidden but their are some verses in the bible that are quite earthy.
Mind you distasteful is reason enough to object, unfortinuiatly as you say it everywhere, often unthinkingly and sometimes due to a paupacy of vocabulary but occasionally these words fit the circumstances perfectly. They are both powerfully and satisfying to use. They express venom, humor, frustration, I think we will be using them for a long time yet.

mashedbanana

tommy2bad wrote: »

Yeah, lets leave the tangent on gender stereotypes off this thread. Go start another for that if people must!


I don't think it's any worse now than ever, I don't know the time scale your using but if you conciser that a little more than 30 years ago we were imprisoning women for being human, we are improving.

Fair play, great to see a questioning mind being fed! Hope you give as much time to other books as well, I'm recommending the Narnia books as you don't say what age the kids are and TCoN are good for everyone from 7 to 70.

Never be ashamed of being proud of your kids,.

Now we are back on track. Why dose bad language bring them down or harm them? This is kind of hard to discuss without knowing the actual words but I'm guessing it the common Anglo Saxon 4 letter ones. Apart from finding them distasteful their is no biblical injunction against this kind of language. Taking the lords name in vain and swearing oaths are forbidden but their are some verses in the bible that are quite earthy.
Mind you distasteful is reason enough to object, unfortinuiatly as you say it everywhere, often unthinkingly and sometimes due to a paupacy of vocabulary but occasionally these words fit the circumstances perfectly. They are both powerfully and satisfying to use. They express venom, humor, frustration, I think we will be using them for a long time yet.

I really don't want to debate with you, as I find it pointless. It feels as one argumentative person moves off, another fills their shoes. That's the way it is, and always has been. I don't see why you might pull apart each part of my answer, just for the sake of it. Bad language is mentioned in the bible.

You know, Our Lord used stories & tales when correcting people, and teaching people? he did!

(keeping it modern n'all) Marco White, the chef? He handed back his Michelin stars, as he felt those judging him on his food, didn't know food as well as him. ... t'was a bit lie taking candy from a child.

tommy2bad

mashedbanana wrote: »

I really don't want to debate with you, as I find it pointless. It feels as one argumentative person moves off, another fills their shoes. That's the way it is, and always has been. I don't see why you might pull apart each part of my answer, just for the sake of it. Bad language is mentioned in the bible.

You know, Our Lord used stories & tales when correcting people, and teaching people? he did!

(keeping it modern n'all) Marco White, the chef? He handed back his Michelin stars, as he felt those judging him on his food, didn't know food as well as him. ... t'was a bit lie taking candy from a child.

Ahem I hate to be the one to break it to you but this is a public forum, we debate things, it's kinda the point.

Sheese and I thought I was being suportive

Oh and that last bit about Marco White, is that some kind of 'I'm too good to be judged by ye' because no one was judging you least of all me. Right now though....I starting to think the plank in your eye might be a bigger concern than the mote in mine!

mashedbanana

tommy2bad wrote: »

Ahem I hate to be the one to break it to you but this is a public forum, we debate things, it's kinda the point.

Sheese and I thought I was being suportive

It's always more of an arugment then a debate. I don't like either tbh, no one gets anything good from it.

tommy2bad

mashedbanana wrote: »

It's always more of an arugment then a debate. I don't like either tbh, no one gets anything good from it.

Yes some times its a case of shouting across each other but debating is good, defending your position is good and you do learn. Doesn't have to be a row, just a discussion.

Geomy

tommy2bad wrote: »

Yes some times its a case of shouting across each other but debating is good, defending your position is good and you do learn. Doesn't have to be a row, just a discussion.

And boards.ie is a great place for debate....

Some craic isn't it Tommy :-)

tommy2bad

I try my best to join in but sometimes I get the impression that their are people who only want to hear back what they said themselves.

doctoremma

tommy2bad wrote: »

Now we are back on track. Why dose bad language bring them down or harm them? This is kind of hard to discuss without knowing the actual words but I'm guessing it the common Anglo Saxon 4 letter ones. Apart from finding them distasteful their is no biblical injunction against this kind of language. Taking the lords name in vain and swearing oaths are forbidden but their are some verses in the bible that are quite earthy.
Mind you distasteful is reason enough to object, unfortinuiatly as you say it everywhere, often unthinkingly and sometimes due to a paupacy of vocabulary but occasionally these words fit the circumstances perfectly. They are both powerfully and satisfying to use. They express venom, humor, frustration, I think we will be using them for a long time yet.

At my high school (ages 13-16), one of our priests started off his RE class with a lesson on swearing. He was tolerant of the standard swearing (and even used the F word to illustrate) but would not, under any circumstances tolerate blasphemy...

I am regarded by my friends as a "sweary" person. It's not to my credit and based entirely on laziness and the amusement I gain from a small shock factor. I don't (usually) swear AT people. And as I say, I don't swear in front of children in any context. This is more because I'd rather they learned a decent vocabulary before relying on the obvious. The ability to insult someone inventively is far better than recourse to expletives!

Any survey of early English literature will reveal all manner of profanity and bawdiness. I'm sure there are very lofty studies surrounding the use and application of swearing in various languages and literature. However, I suspect that for those to be appreciated, one needs a solid grounding in context, which may be ahead of the OP's childrens' years at the moment.

Although it would make my day to chastise a child for swearing and to have them retort "Chaucer says it"