Do you use Management cliches?

starWave

Do you use management clichés in the office? I think people who use these management buzz words are either trying to impress people that they're doing lots of work to "keep all the ducks in a row", or don't really know what's going on and have to "touch base" with someone to find out. And saying touch base sounds better than "I don't know, I'll have to ask someone".

Hande hoche!

Yes it's important for synergy.

BeerWolf

A what?

kingtiger

no and I despise it

heres a few utter bulls1t ones in no particular order

Going forward

End of play

Action This

Revert back to me

In terms of (really hate this one)

Blue sky thinking

oh yeah heard this one the other day

"Let's take this offline", Turns out they mean "stop talking about it"

Sir Humphrey Appleby

We are currently downsizing our utility of hackneyed expressions with the aim of obtaining enhanced positive corporate credibility going forward.

humbert

Based on past performance I'd have to say no but I'm thinking of sun-setting that attitude and going forward I'll try to be more of a team player.

podgemonster

Ah well you know its better to be the big crow at the bird table.

tmc86

An older woman in my department came up to me telling me how busy she was and needed to get something done.

She asked if I had "capacity"

After a blank stare she kept repeating, "would you have capacity?"

Just ask me if I'm busy and if I could give you a hand, you moron.

Corvo

Oh, I hear some great ones.

" Synopsis "

" Data Dump "

" Stop **** in the cubicle "

MarkR

I try not to use management speak. I prefer to think outside of the box.

Duggy747

Let's put this idea up the flagpole and see who salutes it, time for some clear blue sky thinking to try and push the envelope!

*shudder*

SeaFields

When someone uses "going forward" I instantly think they are an incompetent muppet like the idiot ex taoiseach that coined the phrase.

Aglomerado

:mad:

I hate management shyte-speak! "Touch Base" is a particular target of my hatred. One manager I had used to say "tic-tac-toe" as an even more annoying way of saying "Touch Base", I felt like punching him, instead I used to wail "Oh for f***'s sake", and ask him to translate, a sound fellow if he would just drop the buzz-words!

inforfun

Only when talking to managers and then i try to put in as many as possible in 1 sentence.

snubbleste

The reality is that going forward this will be an ongoing issue

castletownman

"At the end of the day it was a big result for us. They parked the bus and made it difficult for us to express ourselves and to play the way that we like to play. But the lads dug in deep, it was backs to wall stuff for a bit there. But the boy's special. It was a real six pointer, and a ding dong battle. We are happy to win and are positive going forward. I'm the gaffer......"

Bull76

I don't think I have the bandwidth for this..... Is one of the one's that I find a complete joke.

krudler

Every time someone uses "revert" incorrectly I should be allowed, nay, encouraged, to punch them in their stupid face.

gitane007

"once we dot our i's and cross our t's"

yeah nice one.

starWave

a walk in the cake

or, a cake in the park

Cody Pomeray

This language makes me queasy.

"Action" is the worst

"Yes I'm actioning this right now..."

working on it, you're f*cking working on it, you thick.

suicide_circus

"i want to touch base with you"

"**** off, pervert"

Miss Lockhart

Thankfully it's not much of a problem in my workplace.

The only two I hear are "touch base", which, while annoying, at least makes some sense, and "revert" which makes me instantly lose all respect for the person using it.

suicide_circus

Cody Pomeray wrote: »

This language makes me queasy.

"Action" is the worst

"Yes I'm actioning this right now..."

working on it, you're f*cking working on it, you thick.

it makes me lose all respect for a person when they spout nonsense like this. meaningless drivel designed to make stupid people sound smart.

The Backwards Man

No.

humbert

Going forward is just about tolerable in some circumstances but it's hard for me to keep a straight face when someone talks about actioning something. Usually the same type of people who uses ignorant instead of rude, humorous instead of funny and will paste an image into a Word document before sending it to you.

PhlegmyMoses

From what I can gather from this thread, people who use these terms are mostly above the people who have a problem with their usage. Hmmm........

General General

Negative.

biko

I work a lot towards India so get a lot of "please do the needful".

humbert

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

From what I can gather from this thread, people who use these terms are mostly above the people who have a problem with their usage. Hmmm........

Well otherwise you'd have people here complaining about their subordinates using a parlance they don't like and would, however subtly, have expressed that they don't like.

kowloon

biko wrote: »

I work a lot towards India so get a lot of "please do the needful".

Many thankings, sir.


When people start using them outside their job it gets annoying. That's when you make up your own.

Reekwind

Yes. This week I caught myself asking someone if they could 'action those actions'

wil

Oh god yes, I am forever dotting my ts and crossing my eyes, thinking inside my box, grey sky staring, shooting all the ducks and drakes, reversing into everyone, pushing envelopes around, checking blindspots, drilling forward, actionabling, levering my core incompetencies.

Never found it any great advantage to be honest

Jimminy Mc Fukhead

tmc86 wrote: »

She asked if I had "capacity"

After a blank stare she kept repeating, "would you have capacity?"

That's an easy one to get of. No capacity. 'Ive just moved a bunch of stuff from me to a usb hard drive and still I'm full

Tordelback

Taking a holistic view of this issue, if you can't articulate the zeitgeist your feet are under the wrong table, looking purely at the visuals.

emmabrighton

"Lets put a pin in that..."

I hear that one a lot. My ideas must be really rubbish...

Red Pepper

"low hanging fruit"

grrrrrr, not sure why but that one annoys my chocolate starfish!

ollaetta

OK, we all need to take on board what's deliverable in this thread. Make sure it ticks all the boxes and it will be a win-win for everyone. It's best practice to all be singing from the same hymn sheet and get our ducks in a row. Then we'll really be in the zone. Oh, and by the way you're all fired!

Theres no I in Team people.

Hit the ground running?? what?? I break an ankle, fcuk off

Aglomerado

Jake1 wrote: »

Theres no I in Team people.

But there is a "u" in "cúnt"!

A0

Will touch base with myself and let you know...

A0

A0 wrote: »

Will touch base with myself and let you know...

ooh, I say..

BGozIE

Lets knuckle down, put our shoulder to the wheel and really drive this thing forward, so we can better engage our clients.

Now excuse me while I organize my skiing trip

Miss Lockhart

So nobody actually admits to using this crap? Or are all the jargon users too busy kissing ass and reverting to clients?

Gaillimh1976

I try to be proactive in delegating that sort of thing to my subordinates

Muckie

I deal with customers issues(complaints).

Colleague tells the Customer "i'm sending this on to our Escalations Team,

you will be contacted".

Sounds super awesome and we "care"....retarded...

I tell them, "yep, over charged, you will be getting it back in a few days".

goose06

Every time someone says "I'll ping you later" I want to b*tch slap them from a height, drives me mental

JoePie

I've heard "We'll take this offline" in too many meetings. Don't see why you can't just say "It's a separate issue. We'll take about it later."

Also, "Let's marry the two." Pretty annoying way of saying "Let's try them together."

Thankfully, I'm working in a heavy non-native English job now, so basic English comes thick and fast and everyone knows what's going on.

Red Pepper

goose06 wrote: »

Every time someone says "I'll ping you later" I want to b*tch slap them from a height, drives me mental

Brian2850

A classic from Futurama...

"If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards.......Checkmate!"

BGozIE

goose06 wrote: »

Every time someone says "I'll ping you later" I want to b*tch slap them from a height, drives me mental

Do you work in a big American company beginning with I?:)