AHers: How Do You Protect Your Lunch?

kylith

Just back from a tea break in work and discovered that someone's nicked half my lunch. I buy enough lettuce and stuff to make lunches Mon-Thurs (I have something calorific on Fridays) and someone's made off with my cheese and tomatoes. I've been storing this stuff in the fridge with no problems for months.

Obviously I'll be making sure that I lick all my vegetables and spit in the cheese from now on, but I got to wondering; how do the people of AH protect their food from thieving co-workers?

Stick a condom on it.

Hande hoche!

Lace it with very spicy sauces, that make it unpalatable to the average lunch thief.

19543261

fart on it

shruikan2553

Violence. My sandwiches have a slice of bread in the middle thats soaked in gravy, I call it the moistener

BunShopVoyeur.

Make a decoy sandwich.

Full of laxatives.

Sir Humphrey Appleby

What is this "lunch" of which you speak?

19543261

BAAHAAAHAAAHAHA

My name is URL

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Violence. My sandwiches have a slice of bread in the middle thats soaked in gravy, I call it the moistener

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tqmXTYa3Xw

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Merkin

I'd be absolutely livid. :mad: Send around a round-robin email and humiliate the wanker....

Frosty McSnowballs

Put a cable tie around the lunch box.

Or

This will be a bit left of centre for some people. Put dog crap in a lunch box and whoever goes around saying "Fcuking hell, there's a **** in a lunch box in the fridge"....

Well, that's the guy.

OldNotWIse

My mate just told me there is actually a sandwich bag you can buy that is designed to make whatever is inside look mouldy

Larbre34

Absolutely has to be laxatives, makes dummy sandwiches for a week and you will never again have a problem

Mr Benevolent

OldNotWIse wrote: »

My mate just told me there is actually a sandwich bag you can buy that is designed to make whatever is inside look mouldy

Terrible idea, it'd just get thrown out.

kylith

Some great ideas here folks, keep 'em coming. I don't eat sandwiches though, just a big ol' salad, so sandwich bags and stuff are out.

Shenshen

I don't put it in the fridge.
I actually sit on my lunchbox every day, it adds a little extra height so I can see the screen.

OldNotWIse

Mr Benevolent wrote: »

Terrible idea, it'd just get thrown out.

Not where I work

seamus

Smear the packaging in vegetable oil. If someone tries to grab it, their hands get greasy and they immediately assume something is wrong with it - something else has spilled on it, or it's burst, or something.
Think about it yourself. If you went to grab something from a fridge which was all covered in grease, you'd leave it there unless you knew for certain it was OK.

CardBordWindow

Deleted User wrote: »

Stick a condom on it.

Make sure it's been used!
You'd definitely have nobody stealing it then! :cool:

My name is URL

kylith wrote: »

Some great ideas here folks, keep 'em coming. I don't eat sandwiches though, just a big ol' salad, so sandwich bags and stuff are out.

What sort of sick freak would steal a salad?

YbFocus

Make fake salads, sprinkle in a little sand or grit.
It won't be seen but you'll know when someone bites it.

Serious answer:
I bring mine in each day in a cooler/thermos bag with an ice pack in it. If you don't have an ice pac - a bottle of water in the freezer each night does the trick and makes a lovely cold drink later on in the day.

The Backwards Man

Eat it before you start work.

Nemeses

Deleted User wrote: »

Serious answer:

Can we also have the non-serious AH expected answer too?

anncoates

Aggressive post-its usually do the trick.

Something along the lines of I'M WATCHING YOU, YOU THEIVING CUNT

kylith

My name is URL wrote: »

What sort of sick freak would steal a salad?

I know, right!?! I'm bad enough for eating salads in the first place, but what sicko steals low-fat cottage cheese?

Deleted User wrote: »

Serious answer:
I bring mine in each day in a cooler/thermos bag with an ice pack in it. If you don't have an ice pac - a bottle of water in the freezer each night does the trick and makes a lovely cold drink later on in the day.

I guess I'll have to start doing that. It was great being able to leave it in the fridge cos it meant I didn't have to bring a big bag with me or remember to get lunch ready the night before.

Nemeses

Nemeses wrote: »

Can we also have the non-serious AH expected answer too?

My first post in the thread :P

vitani

Leave a note on it saying 'Please don't eat me'. Or, if you're feeling assertive, you can leave out the 'Please' part.

kylith

kylith wrote: »

I know, right!?! I'm bad enough for eating salads in the first place, but what sicko steals low-fat cottage cheese?

Has anyone lost weight recently?

Start replacing everything with full fat stuff. Drown everything in dressing and replace the cottage cheese with creme fraiche or something (but leave it in the low fat tub )

That'll teach that fat bastard.

BGozIE

Go on the dole, that way you will never have to bring lunch to work?

I just cracked the dole situation...

Sir Humphrey Appleby

Deleted User wrote: »

Has anyone lost weight recently?

Start replacing everything with full fat stuff. Drown everything in dressing and replace the cottage cheese with creme fraiche or something (but leave it in the low fat tub )

That'll teach that fat bastard.

Whatever about my doubious parentage, I'm not fat, I'm just big for my size:D

I always put a note on my lunch.

" touch this ****in sambo, and I'll pull your brain out through your nostrils, slowly..'

shedweller

Make your lunch as normal only leave it out (few days??)to go off. When you are sure it will make you sick, leave it in the fridge in work. Then wait for the voms and skuts! Lol heartily at the ensuing fun!

I like the cable tie approach too. Only i would tie it to the fridge, while remembering to bring a snips....that would be vital to the operation!

jester77

Just eat out. Saves you the time buying the ingredients and making your lunch, plus it gets you out of the office.

kylith

Deleted User wrote: »

Has anyone lost weight recently?

Start replacing everything with full fat stuff. Drown everything in dressing and replace the cottage cheese with creme fraiche or something (but leave it in the low fat tub )

That'll teach that fat bastard.

Mmmmm, nomnomnom full fat stuff....

Old and grey wrote: »

Whatever about my doubious parentage, I'm not fat, I'm just big for my size:D

:eek: It was you!

jugger0

Start lifting, nobody touches my food... ever..

4zn76tysfajdxp

jester77 wrote: »

Just eat out. Saves you the time buying the ingredients and making your lunch, plus it gets you out of the office.

And saves you the hassle of literally flushing money down the toilet.

SweepTheLeg

I don't keep my lunch in the fridge. Just leave it in my bag under my desk, Problem Solved!

tempnam

Try this OP:

http://www.fatherlyadviceandrants.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Food-stealers.jpg

BeerWolf

"Me and my sandvich, coming to kill you!"

jester77

Jimmy Drab Stress wrote: »

And you saves you the hassle of literally flushing money down the toilet.

How so?

You can get a really good lunch for €4-5, don't see how that is flushing money down the toilet. If you want to go down that road you could say you should grow your own vegetables, fruit and rare your own chicken, calfs,etc as buying them in the supermarket would be flushing money down the toilet. :rolleyes:

Citycap

OrphansRFunny wrote: »

Make a decoy sandwich.

Full of laxatives.

Don't even have to do that.
Put up a notice saying that you are fed up (no pun intended) of people stealing your lunch. Say that you are going to put a laxative sauce on it one day in the week. Let them guess which day.

SweepTheLeg

jester77 wrote: »

How so?

You can get a really good lunch for €4-5,

Spending €5 eating out for lunch everyday adds up. Whereas €5 will get me a weeks worth of lunch in the supermarket.

efb

Get Liam Neason to call them

jester77

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

Spending €5 eating out for lunch everyday adds up. Whereas €5 will get me a weeks worth of lunch in the supermarket.

Whereas €5 would grow you a months worth of vegetables.

efb

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

Spending €5 eating out for lunch everyday adds up. Whereas €5 will get me a weeks worth of lunch in the supermarket.

How??? €5 for a week's lunch???

€3 tesco meal deal ftw

SweepTheLeg

efb wrote: »

How??? €5 for a week's lunch???



€3 tesco meal deal ftw

€2 for big packet of Ham, €1 for bread, €2 for Fruit. Sorted.

jester77 wrote: »

Whereas €5 would grow you a months worth of vegetables.

Effort.

efb

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

Effort.

That's not v helpful I just thinking fresh bread bag filling each day adds up

BeerWolf

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

€5 will get me a weeks worth of lunch in the supermarket.

33¢ store - cans of [expired] plankton. You're set! :pac:

jester77

SweepTheLeg wrote: »

Effort.

So is buying and preparing lunch every day. It's all relative.