is it ever okay to wear white to a wedding?

Hannibal Smith

I bought a white dress today using a voucher I got for my birthday. I had a voucher. ...the dress was half price and within voucher budget so I bought it.

Any how I was just thinking that if I accessorise it, i could bring it up to wedding guest suitability. So I broke it up with green (ribbon for a belt, green shoes, necklace, brooch and bag) and it looks really good!

The wedding is an old friend of my husband's, so we won't be in any family shots, we're not close friends and its unlikely we'll see much of them in the future. And we're flat broke, so it would really get me out of a hole. But having said that I certainly wouldn't want to offend anyone on the day...or commit a wedding guest crime!

So is it ever okay to wear white if its broken up enough or should I just steer clear altogether?

jojobeans

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

I bought a white dress today using a voucher I got for my birthday. I had a voucher. ...the dress was half price and within voucher budget so I bought it.

Any how I was just thinking that if I accessorise it, i could bring it up to wedding guest suitability. So I broke it up with green (ribbon for a belt, green shoes, necklace, brooch and bag) and it looks really good!


The wedding is an old friend of my husband's, so we won't be in any family shots, we're not close friends and its unlikely we'll see much of them in the future. And we're flat broke, so it would really get me out of a hole. But having said that I certainly wouldn't want to offend anyone on the day...or commit a wedding guest crime!

So is it ever okay to wear white if its broken up enough or should I just steer clear altogether?

I reckon its fine as your not close family and as you said u wont be in many of the shots, however my mam whos a twin wore white to her twins wedding in the 70s full length lace and a big hat to boot and her sis in law has never been the same with her since lol. If i was you i would stick with what you chose.(",)

Rosy Posy

I wouldn't if I were you. It might be fine but you might have randoms looking daggers at you all night. IMO it's disrespectful to the bride.

If you really have nothing else to wear why not see if a friend can lend you a dress?

Lima Golf

Once it's short and not a white maxi go for it. People are ridiculous when it comes to weddings, seriously if someone wore white to my wedding I wouldn't be thinking that witch or throwing daggers, I'd be happy they made the effort to come. This white rule is so silly. I wore a white and pink dress to a wedding abroad once and got nothing but compliments, not a dirty look in sight.

CaptainPix

I work at weddings every week and have often seen guests wearing white so guess it's not that uncommon

I wore white to a cousins wedding. It never cost me a thought. I accessorised with black. It was all I could afford at the time. Wear what you're comfortable in and have a good day.

ted1

This may sound odd, but if your hot maybe you shouldn't wear it. Can't imagine it's go down well with the bride if there is some one hotter than her in a white dress.

happywithlife

So long as you accessorise it and it doesn't in any way resemble a bridal outfit it'd be ok
But I was at a wedding recently and there was one guest wearing white
She wasn't part of the bridal party nor would she have been in any family photos etc
But
Her dress was white, long & floaty and not at all accessorised ...
To be honest I did think to myself who did she think she was wearing such an outfit to an wedding?!

username123

The idea is not to upstage the bride so if the bride is young and beautiful and you are less so - then go for it

I've seen quite a few people wearing white to weddings, so it must be widely accepted.

However, personally I'd always see it as very thoughtless, and while I understand that this is a completely irrational addition, I'd also see it as vain (I understand that you're under financial constraints, but in the back of my mind when I see someone in white at a wedding I assume they must care more about how they look than showing respect to the bride). I know I'm harsh, and I'm sure the bride has better things to worry about on the day, but I can't see why there's any strong reason to ignore the custom - surely you have other dresses or friends the same size as you.

Hannibal Smith

Ooh im in two minds now....I was kind of leaning towards no....but it is in no way like a wedding dress and when i put it together it looked even less so. Its knee length Audrey Hepburn style. And I'm in no way arrogant enough to think id in anyway upstage the bride. Its literally just the fact that its white.

But id hate to think there would be peoplewwhispering about 'yer one who wore white'.

Hannibal Smith

true-or-false wrote: »

I've seen quite a few people wearing white to weddings, so it must be widely accepted.

However, personally I'd always see it as very thoughtless, and while I understand that this is a completely irrational addition, I'd also see it as vain (I understand that you're under financier constraints, but in the back of my mind when I see someone in white at a wedding I assume they must care more about how they look than showing respect to the bride). I know I'm harsh, and I'm sure the bride has better things to worry about on the day, but I can't see why there's any strong reason to ignore the custom - surely you have other dresses or friends the same size as you.

To be honest I think you're spot on. I can see how it can look thoughtless. And to be honest the bride is not a friend so that's why I can afford to be a little less thoughtful. The bride isnt even going to see me on the day...so she really isnt going to care. ..but her friends and relatives might.

I literally have nothing else...ive been to a gazillion weddings and have lots of dresses. ..but ive lost 4 stone since Christmas so none of them will fit my new teeny ass

CaptainPix

Hey happy days saying goodbye to the 4 stone eh... nice one

Hannibal Smith

Thank you. ...I guess all just have to go and buy another dress then *first world problems*

HardyEustace

Congrats on the weight loss.

To be honest, I really don't think its nice to wear white at a wedding. I wouldn't dream of it.

In fairness, the sales are on right now and you can pick up some amazing dresses for half nothing.

I got a beautiful dress (for a wedding at the end of August) in Debenhams recently, it was reduced from 160euro to 30euro.

So, I really wouldn't wear white. I think after this mail thread, you could possibly feel very self conscious about it as well. Get a new dress, borrow one from a friend or find a good sale, and go and enjoy the day.

Hannibal Smith

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

I literally have nothing else...ive been to a gazillion weddings and have lots of dresses. ..but ive lost 4 stone since Christmas so none of them will fit my new teeny ass

Ooh it's a great opportunity to recycle an old dress - take it in, belt it, add bits, cut out bits, one of my favourite things to do!

Hannibal Smith

HardyEustace wrote: »

Congrats on the weight loss.

To be honest, I really don't think its nice to wear white at a wedding. I wouldn't dream of it.

In fairness, the sales are on rightly now and you can pick up some amazing dresses for half nothing.

I got a beautiful dress (for a wedding at the end of August) in Debenhams recently, it was reduced from 160euro to 30euro.

So, I really wouldn't wear white. I think after this mail thread, you could possibly feel very self conscious about it as well. Get a new dress, borrow one from a friend or find a good sale, and go and enjoy the day.

I wouldn't really have considered it either. ..but I just wondered had the rules changed because it would have been job done and t seems they have a bit!. I know I can get cheap dresses but I just really wanted to know whether white at a wedding when broken up was ok as it would have saved me money and a shopping trip

True_false...ive gone from a sixe 18 to a size 12 and whatever about turning up to a wedding in white. ..I certainly wouldn't present myself in a chopped up dress and the money it would cost to get it professionally done I could get a new one!

Mrs W

Can you post a pic or link to the dress? Some styles would be fine if you could put enough colour with it

Honey-ec

Absolutely not. The bride might not notice (I couldn't tell you what anyone wore to my wedding) but you can bet your ass that others will. I can't understand why anyone would want to be *that* person at a wedding.

Some may dismiss it as a "silly" tradition, but it's a convention that has been in place for a very long time. I'd wear something else.

stargazer 68

Honey-ec wrote: »

Absolutely not. The bride might not notice (I couldn't tell you what anyone wore to my wedding) but you can bet your ass that others will. I can't understand why anyone would want to be *that* person at a wedding.

Some may dismiss it as a "silly" tradition, but it's a convention that has been in place for a very long time. I'd wear something else.

I have to agree with this - the bride may not care what you wear however I wouldn't want to be the one that people talk about for the wrong reasons. I saw a wedding where the brides mother wore a white outfit, bride didnt care but people are still talking about her!

April O Neill

Dovies wrote: »

I have to agree with this - the bride may not care what you wear however I wouldn't want to be the one that people talk about for the wrong reasons. I saw a wedding where the brides mother wore a white outfit, bride didnt care but people are still talking about her!

Well, that's silly. The mother of the bride outfit would have been vetted by the the bride, most likely! If the bride doesn't mind, and might even have been complicit in the choosing of that outfit, nobody else should mind!

Kinda like Pippa Middleton wearing a white bridesmaid dress.

Orlee

No - I think its nice to keep some traditions alive and why risk upsetting the bride? Hopefully she'll only do it once in her life so let her be the one in the white dress ...

Hannibal Smith

Thanks for all the replies. Seems as if some people say yay...some say nay....I'll try it all on together again and see if its broken up enough with the green to consider and see what the girlies say.

If not I'll wear something else.

Thanks again x

Toast4532

Personally I see nothing wrong with wearing a white/cream/ivory etc dress to a wedding as long as it is accessorized with colours and not left plain and certainly not a full length maxi/wedding style dress.

I know if I was getting married I wouldn't give a fiddlers what colour/styles etc people wore so long as they were comfortable in what they were wearing. I certainly wouldn't want them to avoid wearing a white/cream etc dress because they thought it would upset me.

Tasden

Personally I dont see the issue, however that being said I am currently looking for a dress to wear to a wedding myself and I have had to say no to a few as they are too close to white for my liking and I think the reason is that its not the upstaging the bride worry or the sticking to tradition etc. Its that no matter what I personally think about wearing white- others may view it as disrespectful and may then think that I am being disrespectful/thoughtlessl/whatever else.

It may be a silly rule or ott but at the end of the day its a well known rule and its easy enough to abide by so its safe to just stick to it.

Redpunto

I never thinks its ok to wear anything remotely white to a wedding. its the one day (hopefully only get married once!) that the bride can really stand out and be the centre of attention and the amount of money spend on bridal dresses,,,, just wouldnt do it.

shinesun

I think it is bad form to wear white as a guest to a wedding. Even though the bride may not notice, other guests will talk..
Someone very close to me got married and two guests wore white to her wedding. She has never forgot it. Pretended it did not bother her on the day....
Keep the white dress for another occasion or accessorize your white dress to the max! Personally I would just wear/buy another dress.

SusieBlue

It honestly wouldn't bother me if I was getting married and someone showed up in white. Frankly, you will not be mistaken for the bride. Its a short dress with colourful accessories - I don't see how this could possibly upstage a full length bridal gown (no offence here, I hope you know what I'm trying to get across) with professional hair/make up/grooming, the works.

I think its actually incredibly vain and bratty to get annoyed about it. Its just silly. Once its not full length and you have another pop of colour I think its a non issue. I would wear it.

ShaShaBear

Im getting married next year, and while your outfit doesn't at all sound like something that would be in direct competition with full bridal attire, I do have serious distate for the guests (there is always one) who tries to get away with wearing as close to a bridal look as she possibly can.

I don't think it's bratty to want to attend any formal event and look unique to everyone else there. But when it's a formal event you are organising yourself, you definitely want to look unique.

Plenty of charity shops have great dresses for a steal, if you're not the sort that's ashamed to get second hand designer dresses for a few euro

Honey-ec

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Its a short dress with colourful accessories - I don't see how this could possibly upstage a full length bridal gown (no offence here, I hope you know what I'm trying to get across) with professional hair/make up/grooming, the works.

I think its actually incredibly vain and bratty to get annoyed about it. Its just silly. Once its not full length and you have another pop of colour I think its a non issue. I would wear it.

It's not about trying to "upstage" the bride, it's about showing respect for a convention that's been in place for an age.

Would you go to a funeral in a canary yellow prom dress?

April O Neill

Honey-ec wrote: »

It's not about trying to "upstage" the bride, it's about showing respect for a convention that's been in place for an age.

Would you go to a funeral in a canary yellow prom dress?

Well, the tradition was black to a funeral, but that's rarely observed now.

I've seen people wear bright colours to funerals, certainly.

SusieBlue

Honey-ec wrote: »

It's not about trying to "upstage" the bride, it's about showing respect for a convention that's been in place for an age.

Would you go to a funeral in a canary yellow prom dress?

No, in the same sense I wouldn't go to a wedding in a floor length white ball gown. But a short white dress with green accessories when I won't even be in the official pictures? Yes I would.

As for a funeral, while I wouldn't wear a canary yellow prom dress, I would wear a yellow tea dress with tights or similar. Its not what you wear, its how you wear. You are being extreme.

Hannibal Smith

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Im getting married next year, and while your outfit doesn't at all sound like something that would be in direct competition with full bridal attire, I do have serious distate for the guests (there is always one) who tries to get away with wearing as close to a bridal look as she possibly can.

I don't think it's bratty to want to attend any formal event and look unique to everyone else there. But when it's a formal event you are organising yourself, you definitely want to look unique.

Plenty of charity shops have great dresses for a steal, if you're not the sort that's ashamed to get second hand designer dresses for a few euro

What? As close to a bridal look as she possibly can? Im married and have had my day, the bride was there (couldn't tell yiu what she wore mind). If you read my posts you would see what I am asking and my reasons. I have no interest in looking like a bride. Been there done that.

I didnt say I couldn't find a cheap dress, or didnt know where to look for one. ..im not living under a stone. I am asking if the dress I have, if accessorised properly will do, which would save me money and a shopping trip and if white at a wedding can be acceptable.

Im almost tempted to wear the dress now to stick two fingers up to the narrow minded biddies

Hannibal Smith

Honey-ec wrote: »

It's not about trying to "upstage" the bride, it's about showing respect for a convention that's been in place for an age.

Would you go to a funeral in a canary yellow prom dress?

Oh please. I haven't asked if its okay to full on snog the groom

Hannibal Smith

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

I am asking if the dress I have, if accessorised properly will do, which would save me money and a shopping trip and if white at a wedding can be acceptable.

Well clearly some people see it as acceptable and some people don't. But I don't think "narrow minded biddies" is fair. To be honest I'd think similarly unpleasant things about people wearing white to weddings but I wouldn't put them up here.

Hannibal Smith

true-or-false wrote: »

Well clearly some people see it as acceptable and some people don't. But I don't think "narrow minded biddies" is fair. To be honest I'd think similarly unpleasant things about people wearing white to weddings but I wouldn't put them up here.

I have read and accepted comments bothfor and aagainst and have expressedythanks for both. But some comments are extremely ridiculous and very narrow minded.

ShaShaBear

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

What? As close to a bridal look as she possibly can? Im married and have had my day, the bride was there (couldn't tell yiu what she wore mind). If you read my posts you would see what I am asking and my reasons. I have no interest in looking like a bride. Been there done that.

I didnt say I couldn't find a cheap dress, or didnt know where to look for one. ..im not living under a stone. I am asking if the dress I have, if accessorised properly will do, which would save me money and a shopping trip and if white at a wedding can be acceptable.

Im almost tempted to wear the dress now to stick two fingers up to the narrow minded biddies

Firstly, excuse me? I'm not sure I deserve that tone, as I was in complete agreement with your current outfit choice as being acceptable for a wedding. I was expressing my distaste for the "biddies" that love to wear floor length white gowns with perfect professional make-up and hair, with the full intention of upstaging the bride.

However, if that's your attitude, by all means wear what you like :rolleyes:

moochers

I think you should wear the dress, it is summer and it sounds perfect. Besides, like you said you are accessorizing with green. It would be a different story if you turned up in a white ball gown. Honestly, the world has gone mad, I heard of brides telling guests not to wear specific colour dresses and not to buy dresses from coast so that guests wont clash with bridesmaids. There is a recession on, money is short, if you do buy another dress, Id deduct the cost from the gift, I'm sure they would probably be more pissed off about that than what colour dress a guest wore. If you love the dress, wear it. Have a great time

fits

I never really thought about this until I saw a guest at a wedding last week wearing a short white dress and black shoes and bag. I thought it looked awful as you'd do a double take when you see the white, and I just wouldn't wear it now after seeing her. Personally, I would leave wearing white to the bride.

All4shopping

If the dress suits you and you feel comfortable in it but still a bit unsure about wearing white, why not dye the dress a colour that would suit accessories u already have. Dye kits are less than €10 and come in a huge variety of colours.

StillWaters

You are clearly going to wear the dress. I dont know why you posted, those with a contrarian view to you are 'narrow minded biddies' in your view.

So go ahead. You will look gorgeous. Not a single guest will think it's the slightest bit rude or look at me-ish.

westies4ever

Being honest? Not a chance would I wear white to someone elses wedding. Discssed it with the girls at work over tea break as well and they all felt it was out of order and no way would they do it.

Hannibal Smith

StillWaters wrote: »

You are clearly going to wear the dress. I dont know why you posted, those with a contrarian view to you are 'narrow minded biddies' in your view.

So go ahead. You will look gorgeous. Not a single guest will think it's the slightest bit rude or look at me-ish.

If I was clearly going to wear the dress I wouldn't have posted. I was in two minds.

But now I am going to wear it...it looks great on...is broken up by accessories...looks nothing like a wedding dress...tried it on for a friend who agrees it looks fine... bride wont see me...the other guests who do will see that ive done my best to de-emphasise the white. If they have a problem with it I'll never see them again to hear about it.

meeeeh

I think white is perfect. It's all about you so why wouldn't you advertise that everybody.

michellie

I hate when people wear white or ivory to a wedding. There are billions of different colors, is it so hard not to wear one like the bride ?


My friends and I have spoken about this recently. I just don't like it.

Ice Storm

I don't understand why you say that the bride won't see you.. if you're a guest at her wedding surely there is a reasonable chance she will see you, or even chat to you?

I wouldn't wear white personally.

tatli_lokma

Oh for gods sake some people need to get a grip. A white dress is a white dress. It does not automatically mean the bride will be upstaged. I have seen people in dresses of many colours where it was quite obvious that they were trying to upstage everyone not just the bride. Those women are talked about more than someone wearing a vintage style white short dress.

My own sister wore white to my wedding. I thought she looked stunning. She accessorised it with red. No one in their right mind would mistake her for the bride.

The irony is that people spout out all these do's and don'ts and social constraints when it comes to weddings, and then forget that some of the etiquette also applies to the couple towards their guests. Despite what some people think, the only important part of a wedding is the ceremony. The rest of it is just a party, a celebration.

The only thing I would advise OP is to check that the bride is having a traditional formal gown. If she is having a retro style your dress might be too close in style. My friend's sister got married a prom style 50's dress accessorised with red. So not all brides are traditional brides. But other than that wear the dress. Anyone who whispers or bitches has little else to be doing with their time and would do well to learn some polite etiquette themselves.

Tasden

I think the very fact that the question had to be asked shows that there is a possibility it could be an issue (for whoever) so therefore best avoided.

smcgiff

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

So is it ever okay to wear white if its broken up enough or should I just steer clear altogether?

You've asked the question and now you know in advance. Some people will think it is weird, some wont bat an eyelid. The bride may or may not care, no one can tell.

When I have seen women wearing white at a wedding I've thrown a :rolleyes: and carried on.

Chattastrophe!

Personally I wouldn't give a crap if someone wore white to my wedding.

However I'd never wear white to someone else's.

Even the fact that this thread generated so many responses indicates that, to some, it IS a big deal. By the sounds of it, you don't know the bride very well, so you don't know if she'd be upset/offended by a guest wearing white to her wedding. Now, I think it's a silly thing to be upset by, and so might you ... But it's HER wedding, ffs, so why go against the socially accepted norm and risk upsetting her needlessly?

December2012

Lots of brides go for a prom style dress.

Personally I wouldn't wear a white dress to a wedding.

Look at all the thought you have to put into it already!