Inheritance Internal Dispute

Testiculoor

Inheritance - You know what that is
Internal Dispute - a dispute I am having with myself, nobody else.

This is going to come across as plain wrong on my behalf but have to get it off my chest.

Firstly let me start off by saying that my parents are always going on about the inheritance & when they die I will be sorted out. That's fine. I would also like to say that I would obviously rather my parents outlived me than inherit their money after they die.

The problem I have which I haven't discussed with anyone else and will more than likely come across as disgusting is as follows :

There are 3 children in our family, myself and 2 sisters & the parents.
I have no children myself but do have a partner, 1 sister has 1 child & a partner, the other sister has 5 children & a partner

When the parents pass on I would have expected the inheritance to go to my parents 3 children which are myself and the 2 sisters.

However I have recently found out that instead everybody is getting a share.

So instead of the inhertance being split 3 ways it will be split amongst the 3 children and our partners and also all of their kids.

This means instead of it being split 3 ways it will be split 12 ways amongst the parents 3 kids ( us ), their partners and grand children.

This essentially means I am going to get a lot less than what I expected.

I don't think I should bring it up with them as I would come across as an arsehole and it's not the type of subject one talks about.

The reason they are doing it is because they have a fair amount hoarded away and the reasoning behind it is that you can only
inherit a certain amount before the tax man starts to rape you.

If they do this it means the tax man will get a lot less of a chunk and my old man hates the tax man and will try to give him as little as
possible even after death.

Like I said I can't tell them what to do, after all it's their money and like I said I would rather they live forever than anything else

But my blood is boiling over this.

Do you think it's fair than they're doing this or should your parents only give their inheritance to the immediate children below them.

I guess I'm annoyed as I now stand to lose hundreds of thousands of euro over this.

I expect nothing less than pure Inheritance - You know what that is
Internal Dispute - a dispute I am having with myself, nobody else.

This is going to come across as plain wrong on my behalf but have to get it off my chest.
Firstly let me start off by saying that my parents are always going on about the inheritance & when they die I will
be sorted out. That's fine. I would also like to say that I would obviously rather my parents outlived me than get
their money after they die.

The problem I have which I haven't discussed with anyone else and will more than likely come across as disgusting is
as follows :

There are 3 children in our family, myself and 2 sisters & the parents.
I have no children myself but do have a partner, 1 sister has 1 child & a partner, the other sister has 5 children & a partner

When the parents pass on I would have expected the inheritance to go to my parents 3 children which are myself and 2 sisters.
However I have recently found out that instead everybody is getting a share.

So instead of the inhertiance being split 3 ways it will be split amongst the 3 children and our partners and also all of their kids.
This means instead of it being split 3 ways it will be split 12 ways amongst the parents 3 kids, their partners and grand children.

This essentially means I am going to get alot less than what I expected.
I don't think I should bring it up with them as I would come across as an arsehole

The reason they are doing it is because they have a fair amount hoarded away and the reasoning behind it is that you can only
inherit a certain amount before the tax man starts to rape you.

If they do this it means the tax man will get less of a chunk and my old man hates the tax man and will try to give him as little as
possible.

Like I said I can't tell them what to do, afterall it's their money and like I said I would rather they live forever than anything else

But my blood is boiling over this mainly because the other sisters are already far better off than I am, and with them having loads of kids they will get a bigger share of it than I.

Do you think it's fair than they're doing this or should your parents only give their inheritance to the immediate children below them.
I guess I'm annoyed as I now stand to lose hundreds of thousands of euro over this.

I expect nothing less than pure criticism for this but have to get it off my chest.

Has anybody else experienced this ?

Getting on a train now with no internet access so I won't be able to reply for a while...

fishy fishy

its not your money. they can blow it all in a casino and you have no say in the matter. If you want to have lots of money, work harder - don't depend on your parents or anyone else. I hope they blow it all before they pass on.

gazzer

I would rather my parents spend whatever money they have saved over the years on themselves and have a great time before they die. I don expect any money from them when they die.

They earned the money, they should enjoy it.

Sir Humphrey Appleby

Its their money, they can share it anyway they want.
Hopefully they find out you have vented your greedy spleen on the net and decide to leave you zilch.:mad:

Outkast_IRE

Its not your money, you really shouldn't care, they could blow it all on flash cars for the rest of their lives if they were so inclined, they could give it all to a charity if that was their wish.

Be grateful with the share you will be given, its theirs to give and their wishes are what counts here.

If you pursue this any further the only thing you are going to achieve is a falling out with your family.

OldNotWIse

Parents are not legally obliged to give you anything. Spouses must be looked after but with children its pretty much up to them. You can challenge the inheritance if you feel they have not made "proper provision" for you but the threshold is quite high and other factors will be looked at such as your dependants, dependants of other siblings, how much each has helped out, promises made etc

SEPT 23 1989

It should be passed down to you and your two sisters and not their children

your blood has a right to boil

pickarooney

Testiculoor wrote: »

I would also like to say that I would obviously rather my parents outlived me than inherit their money after they die.

Why is that obvious? It's a rather cruel thing to wish on a parent to outlive his/her child.

Frosty McSnowballs

It's way too hot to read all that, so I didn't.

It's not your money......or something, whatever the others said.

Bye now

goulders

I hope your parents live another 40 years, so you will have 40yrs of misery. How much did you bring with you the day u were born ?

tmc86

You should look at your situation now, are you happy, do you live comfortably or reasonably ok?

It's only money at the end of the day and an inheritance shouldn't be depended on or budgeted for. Think of it as a gift which it exactly what it is, its extra money which you can choose to save or spend but it shouldn't be confused with your earnings or current savings.

Also, try to look at the positives with it being split between your family, particularly in today's economic climate. You only have to provide for yourself whereas your siblings are providing for their dependent children. If the money is being split between the children too at least they'll be off to a good start in life and will have savings be it for education, travel etc.

I can see where you're coming from but at the same time unless you are really struggling financially (which I doubt you are from you parental description) then any additional income is a bonus but money isn't everything at the end of the day.

LizT

Can I wait for the movie version of that post?

Jesus Wept

goulders wrote: »

I hope your parents live another 40 years, so you will have 40yrs of misery. How much did you bring with you the day u were born ?

ffs

NegativeCreep

Have more kids than your siblings have! More money in your family than theirs then. Thats what I'd do.

dilallio

Where there's a will ....


There's a relative

Morph the Cat

Personal Issues forum, OP.

Lux23

An aunt of mine was expected to inherit a house from her aunt, but it was actually split her and all of her siblings. She never said anything, but am sure she was raging.

anncoates

Force them at gunpoint to change the will.

Or quit moaning about what they choose to do with their property and money.

kneemos

Maybe they are splitting it three ways just spreading out you're sisters share to avoid tax?

dilallio

Seriously though ...

Tell them you are in a Polyamorous relationship with 12 other people.

Your siblings will get that will changed very quick, and your da will believe that you are a LEGEND.

Tiddlypeeps

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

It should be passed down to you and your two sisters and not their children

your blood has a right to boil

That is just the legal default. What should happen is that the parents wishes are carried out as best they can be after they pass.

If I had children and grand children and lots of money I would want to leave some to my grand children. Giving it to the parents is not the same thing, they may not spend it on anything the child will even benefit from. I'd set it up in such a way that they can't access it until they are in their late teens.

If the parents were giving a bigger share directly to the children who have children then it could be seen as a bit of an insult (they are still totally entitled to do that) but that's not what it seems is happening here. So I don't see getting annoyed in this scenario as anything more than selfishness.

SEPT 23 1989

Actually if your aul lad hates the tax man surely the best way to go is to give it to you and your sisters and then let them gift it to their kids

maybe an accountant on here could throw a bit of light on this

osarusan

Tell them you have numerous split personalities, including the 3 that wrote the OP three times.

tmc86

Monnney..

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/QINzmRPfMCU/hqdefault.jpg?feature=og

Kintarō Hattori

OP you can't hope to have an inheritance from your folks. Just crack on with whatever it is that you do for a living. Try to live well and invest/safe your money where possible. As others have said, it's your parents money and they are free to do with it whatever they please. You shouldn't rely on other people- it's best to try and always support yourself.

I've told my own folks that I don't want anything from them, house or money. I try to be as independent as possible and would feel awful taking anything from them. Try it, you'll feel all the better about yourself.

The Backwards Man

I'm leaving everything to the Irish Daily Mail.

Zebra3

Never expect anything from a will.

1) Then you won't be disappointed.

2) It's not your money, so don't you're entitled to a penny.

Mr Benevolent

OP, your parents are making the point that the money will be shared equally among all your family. You'll get the same as your siblings, so no unfairness there. The fact that you don't have kids is irrelevant, as you would get the same regardless. In fact if you had kids you'd get less.

frag420

I would say nothing and then desecrate their graves as punishment!!

That will learn em!!

A

listermint

Zebra3 wrote: »

Never expect anything from a will.

1) Then you won't be disappointed.

2) It's not your money, so don't you're entitled to a penny.

This is SOLID device.

One of the biggest factors in families not talking to each other anymore is MONEY. Which would you rather op a solid happy relationship with your whole family and siblings for the rest of your life or a spare 10K in your pocket ?

Life is short, its really not worth it. I've seen families not talk to each other over this sort of crap and only when there is another funeral and they see each other again the realise who bloody stupid it is.


Life is not about money its about living it.


Act like the inheritance is never there expect nothing. Live happy.


Seriously!

jester77

Testiculoor wrote: »

I guess I'm annoyed as I now stand to lose hundreds of thousands of euro over this.

Not sure how you are at maths, but you won't be losing out, you'll actually be gaining something that you didn't have before.

Shiny

If your sisters have any sense, that money will be put away to fund their kids college education. So in theory they wouldn't really be getting that much when that is factored in.

Inheritence brings out the worst in people, I have seen families destroyed over silly arguments about who gets the furniture or some crap.

My dads family treated my grandad like sh*t during his last years, he had enough money for good care and treatment but the scumbags wouldn't spend it because they saw it as 'their' money even while he was still alive...they wanted the inheritence to be as big as possible. My old man didn't want any of the money, he justed wanted his father to be as comfortable as possible for his last few years.

It turns people to cnuts and if your 'blood is boiling' over what your parents choose to do with their money then it sounds like it has happened to you already. Cop the fcuk on.

Red Pepper

A lot of high and mighty folk on this thread.

You are right to be annoyed. It should be split 3 ways unless there are very good reasons to do otherwise.

This 12 way split involving grandchildren is very uncommon.

Ace Attorney

OP, your problem is that you are being greedy and maybe a little jealous of what the others will receive, You have no right to even a penny of that money, yet they are leaving you some. You should be greatfull that you are even getting something at all! Now that you have vented this, you should let it go because it will consume you when you should be cherishing your parents last few years in this life, OP money is a temporary trinket, parents are a permanent treasure

Menas

I hope my folks do not leave their estate to me and my siblings but do leave it to their grandkids.

My sisters and their husbands are idiots and would waste the money. At least the grandkids will get a some compo for having such terrible parents.

RustyNut

Red Pepper wrote: »

A lot of high and mighty folk on this thread.

You are right to be annoyed. It should be split 3 ways unless there are very good reasons to do otherwise.

This 12 way split involving grandchildren is very uncommon.

Its the parents property to do with what ever they wish.

Iv only been involved in two wills but both left property to inlaws and grand kids

yellowlabrador

Don' count your chickens before they hatch.
If either or both of your parents are going to need nursing home care, that money could be gone. My neighbour's father had Alzheimer's and needed 4 years of care. It cost over 900e a week. That was 5 years ago. If any of the children decide to become the carer instead, wouldn't they be entitled to the money?

bear1

I'm not so sure how to react to the OP.
My parents have discussed this with both myself and my brother. They have a house in Galway which is insured and has a death policy taken on it so if they die then the house is paid off and we have a zero mortgage house and a house with no mortgage in Italy which they got during the boom years which is also to be left for us.
Now, I seriously would not care what money they have left over the moment their passing comes nor do I care now other than that they live comfortably.
If I was a parent and saw this thread I would be seriously disappointed. As mentioned the parents can do what they want and when they want to.
I doubt on the day in question you will be thinking about what financial benefits you will receive but if you do then I would feel very very sorry for the deceased indeed.

EazyD

Inheritance disputes really bring the worst out of people. People become so fixated on money and possessions that they lose sight of the fact that the money will come and go, but their dear parents won't. Its a sad bi-product of greed, and I've no doubt in years to come that the OP will realise this, regardless of how the money is split.

Ray Palmer

I think the OP view is quite understandable. I think the parents revealing this information is in part to stop bad feelings later. You still have an opportunity to discuss it with them. You would need to be open and honest about how it makes you feel.

While it is there money to do as they feel fit they are effectively cutting some inheritance from the next generation and giving it to the generation after that.

I have been told that while I will inherit from my mother on her death I am expected to pass on in my death to my sister's kids as I don't have any. That includes if I die before my wife. To an extent I am being told it is not mine and I am to give it to the kids. These 2 kids will inherit 5 houses already plus a large sum of money. I think it is a bit much for them to get anything more but I am expected to give them a 6th property and their parents are very wealthy. I like them and would leave them personal things but 3 houses and lots of cash is a lot to inherit for anyone. The other thing is with such money they could easily go a little mad.

Leaving the money to the children is a little risky IMHO as who is to say they are not going to blow it or lead to unhealthy lifestyle

Hownowcow

OP, without commenting on anything else, I note that you say that everyone is getting a share. You do not say that everyone is getting an equal share. You also say that your father hates the tax man.

Based on these comments, it occurs to me that your parents may have written tax efficient wills, using all of the available inheritance tax threstholds and minimising the tax take. If this is the case the impact on the inheritance you receive will be substantially less than you now believe.

ToxicPaddy

My parents are comfortable financially, not wealthy, but they have a good quality of life. I couldn't care less if they left me millions (which will never happen as they don't have it) or nothing. I'm far more concerned with them being healthy, happy and enjoying their life. They worked damn hard for it so they deserve to enjoy it.

As for anything left when they move on, it will go to wherever they state, whether it be a charity, grandkids, dogs home, whatever, as long as it's what they want, that's good enough for me.

Money really is the cause of so many family feuds and break ups, it's a disgusting thing and I've seen it do unbelievable damage to the lives of what were once close families.

OP, its your parents choice, they obviously love their grandkids as much as their kids, so if they want to leave some money to each of them, so be it.
It's their money and it's their choice.

My 2c, forget about it, move on and enjoy the time you have with your parents. Trying to influence them is wrong and they might see it as you being greedy and might cut you out altogether.

It may also cause you and your parents to fall out. Then you would be left with nothing of true value, your family.

It it really worth that?

anncoates

I really cannot think of anything less classy than already worrying about what share of your parents' possessions you''re going to get when they pass away.

Seriously.

Ray Palmer

anncoates wrote: »

I really cannot think of anything less classy than already worrying about what share of your parents' possessions you''re going to get when they pass away.

Seriously.

I think it is ridiculous to not actually look at the practicality of life. Sorting out a will and letting people know the detail is both adult and sensible. Sort it out when the person is alive is much better than leaving a legacy of disputes behind. Lot more classy than denying the inevitable.

anncoates

Ray Palmer wrote: »

I think it is ridiculous to not actually look at the practicality of life. Sorting out a will and letting people know the detail is both adult and sensible. Sort it out when the person is alive is much better than leaving a legacy of disputes behind. Lot more classy than denying the inevitable.

That's for parents to worry about, not their offspring.

Of course it makes sense to make a will. I have a will in case we die before our kids reach adulthood, more so to appoint a guardian/will executor than anything else as the kids will inherit everything by default if we die intestate anyway.

I'm talking about worrying who's getting what even when the parents are alive.

Grandchildren are incredibly dear to people and are close family. It's hardly like leaving your estate to a dog and cats home or a cult.

Boombastic

Just be happy that your nieces and nephews will get that extra little leg up in life and hopefully make the best of it.

kc90

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

It should be passed down to you and your two sisters and not their children

your blood has a right to boil

Why? It's the parents money. They can spend it or split how they like.

OldNotWIse

Ray Palmer wrote: »

I think the OP view is quite understandable. I think the parents revealing this information is in part to stop bad feelings later. You still have an opportunity to discuss it with them. You would need to be open and honest about how it makes you feel.

While it is there money to do as they feel fit they are effectively cutting some inheritance from the next generation and giving it to the generation after that.

I have been told that while I will inherit from my mother on her death I am expected to pass on in my death to my sister's kids as I don't have any. That includes if I die before my wife. To an extent I am being told it is not mine and I am to give it to the kids. These 2 kids will inherit 5 houses already plus a large sum of money. I think it is a bit much for them to get anything more but I am expected to give them a 6th property and their parents are very wealthy. I like them and would leave them personal things but 3 houses and lots of cash is a lot to inherit for anyone. The other thing is with such money they could easily go a little mad.

Leaving the money to the children is a little risky IMHO as who is to say they are not going to blow it or lead to unhealthy lifestyle

afaik if you die before your wife, she will be entitled to half the estate anyway (s111 of succession Act), if you have no children. (If you have, I think its one third entitlement) and this entitlement will override other wishes.

I Heart Internet

I can understand why the OP is dissapointed about this tbh.

It would seem perfectly reasonable for a person/couple to leave their inheritence to their children equally.

Red Pepper

kc90 wrote: »

Why? It's the parents money. They can spend it or split how they like.

Yeah yeah yeah we know.

However parents are well aware how disruptive probate can be.
They need to think carefully before making a will to ensure there will not be any resentful family members as a result. We all know families that have "split" over inheritance squabbles.
I am sure most parents don't intend to cause problems which is why they should outline their plans in advance and iron out issues (if possible).

In this case the OP will be resentful and some grandkids may never see their uncle/aunt again.