Piss Horn

MJ23

Every single morning. Have to sit down to piss with it too.
How frequent is your piss horn?

Ghost Buster

MJ23 wrote: »

Every single morning. Have to sit down to piss with it too.
How frequent is your piss horn?

Im 42. I would welcome any kind of morning stirrings...

o1s1n

Haha, you piss like a girl.

Thom Merrilin

Classy thread.

**Vai**

Generally, my piss and my horn are 2 separate entities. You might wanna get checked for a urinary tract infection.

slippy wicket

Sure take advantage of it.
Nothing wrong with a bit of morning water sports.

Duggy747

Piss in the bath tub

Manc-Red

A morning horning & you can't get your trousers on....

Zen65

MJ23 wrote: »

Every single morning.

<<Sigh>> must add this to my list of things that make me feel old.


Z

Lenin Skynard

MJ23 wrote: »

Have to sit down to piss with it too.

Real men do the smooth criminal.

KingOfFairview

There will, nay can, be no better thread title than this.

Seedy Arling

KingOfFairview wrote: »

There will, nay can, be no better thread title than this.

I came here to post just that.

LizT

I'd love to be a guy, just for a day...

Problem123456

LizT wrote: »

I'd love to be a guy, just for a day...

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=255

krudler

KingOfFairview wrote: »

There will, nay can, be no better thread title than this.

for all people's complaining that AH is nothing but dole,church and foreigners threads you get gems like this and it makes it all worthwhile

krudler

LizT wrote: »

I'd love to be a guy, just for a day...

I'd love to be a woman but I'd never even leave the house, how women get anything done and dont just fondle their boobs all day is beyond me

Agricola

Lenin Skynard wrote: »

Real men do the smooth criminal.

It took me awhile but I got it! Hyuck Hyuck!

mewe

Why sit down though?.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed1yVqVHvt0

stoneill

Over the shoulder - that's the way.

Ruudi_Mentari

Those words are funny together, and they make a good couple.

I just don't want to hear the details of their marriage ok..

Ape Lincoln

I also do the 'Smooth Criminal'. Ypu take a good few steps back from the toilet, lean forward and aim you Johnson down. It's not hard. That or wait for the erection to pass.

wandatowell

Duggy747 wrote: »

Piss in the bath tub

I was very very close to pissing in my shower one morning.


Usually a thought like that would be wiped immediately from my mind but this one particular morning this random thought just lingered and lingered. I had reasoned with myself that I was in the house well over a year and I had pee'd nowhere else apart from the toilet so I owed myself to have a random pee in the shower.



I quite literally had to fight myself to make myself not pee in the shower.





wtf??

mark17j

MJ23 wrote: »

Every single morning. Have to sit down to piss with it too.
How frequent is your piss horn?

never heard of anyone needing to sit to pee with a "piss horn"

NegativeCreep

Yep, every morning or night if I wake up and need to pee. It's so annoying!

Daveysil15

o1s1n wrote: »

Haha, you piss like a girl.

Sometimes its better to do it that way as the piss can often come out in 2 different directions. Also, if its going to be quickly followed up by a number 2, then it saves you the bother of sitting down and then getting back up again.

holystungun9

Duggy747 wrote: »

Piss in the bath tub

I love a good fountain.

kraggy

I've never understood the concept of a piss horn.

Yeah, I've an erection every morning, and I invariably need to piss as well, but one does not cause the other in my experience.

Renegade Mechanic

mark17j wrote: »

never heard of anyone needing to sit to pee with a "piss horn"

If you don't literally put your lad into the bowl to pee while on a horn, youll be cleaning the floor, wall(s) and possibly the ceiling if you dare loosen your grip!

KingOfFairview

I used to do a sort of planking maneuver, but still more often than not the floor would get watered

Sir Osis of Liver.

Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?

goose2005

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?

well, no, because .. do you need a diagram?

Renegade Mechanic

Think someone needs "the talk".
Not it!:D

0ph0rce0

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?

Slashfanny hahaha, i cant stop laughing, **** me this place is mad :pac:

Czarcasm

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?

The closest female equivalent I've heard is "breaking the seal", after that, well, no :pac:

KingOfFairview

Speaking of which, have we agreed on a slang for the female equivalent of horn? I've heard 'widender' and 'wetser' but neither is much cop really

ringadingding

kraggy wrote: »

I've never understood the concept of a piss horn.

Yeah, I've an erection every morning, and I invariably need to piss as well, but one does not cause the other in my experience.

You get an erection to stop you pîssing yourself whilst asleep

Czarcasm

KingOfFairview wrote: »

Speaking of which, have we agreed on a slang for the female equivalent of horn? I've heard 'widender' and 'wetser' but neither is much cop really

From female friends of mine - "a wide-on", no?

bumper234

Ah yes the old Morning wood.


also PMSL @ slashfanny

Renegade Mechanic

Slashfanny heh heh heh... Sounds like an almighty std!!

jigglypuffstuff

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?

Im in tears, actual tears!! haha

Sir Osis of Liver.

Mine stops me rolling out of bed.

MetalDog

The Piss Horn can be remedied by the technique known to all and sundry as the Giraffe Piss: Simply spread your legs wide and angle the boner towards the bowl with the heel of your hand, not unlike a giraffe bending to drink at the watering hole.

Or just piss in the shower. Who cares?

crackcrack30

A handstand against the bathroom door provides the best downward angle.

- Best practice is to lock the door........

recyclebin

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?

Quote of the day

Malari

What does this have to do with age?

hatrickpatrick

How are you supposed to sit down to piss when your morning horn is trumpeting? Wouldn't the angle mean you'd essentially be pissing over the seat and onto the floor in front of the jacks?

hatrickpatrick

As an afterthought, the only way I can possibly imagine being able to piss into the bowl with a horn would be to lean forward so I was doing a handstand in front of the jacks, feet up on the wall behind it, and piss that way... Seems like a huge amount of effort to me?

Wacker The Attacker

How do chicks piss if they have an enormous wide on?

Renegade Mechanic

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

How do chicks piss if they have enormous wide on?

Might involve an equally enormous traffic cone..

Wacker The Attacker

I have to use both hands to aim my angry, blue veined, diamond cutting morning woodie whilst urinating.

Wacker The Attacker

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Might involve an equally enormous traffic cone..

Piss cone. I like it