Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Piss Horn

  • 29-06-2013 12:23pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,039 ✭✭✭


    Every single morning. Have to sit down to piss with it too.
    How frequent is your piss horn?


«1

Comments

  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,172 ✭✭✭Ghost Buster


    MJ23 wrote: »
    Every single morning. Have to sit down to piss with it too.
    How frequent is your piss horn?
    Im 42. I would welcome any kind of morning stirrings...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 36,076 ✭✭✭✭o1s1n
    Master of the Universe


    Haha, you piss like a girl.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 83 ✭✭Thom Merrilin


    Classy thread.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,302 ✭✭✭**Vai**


    Generally, my piss and my horn are 2 separate entities. You might wanna get checked for a urinary tract infection.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 693 ✭✭✭slippy wicket


    Sure take advantage of it.
    Nothing wrong with a bit of morning water sports. ;)


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Piss in the bath tub


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,329 ✭✭✭Manc-Red


    A morning horning & you can't get your trousers on....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭Zen65


    MJ23 wrote: »
    Every single morning.

    <<Sigh>> must add this to my list of things that make me feel old.


    Z


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,970 ✭✭✭Lenin Skynard


    MJ23 wrote: »
    Have to sit down to piss with it too.

    Real men do the smooth criminal.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,388 ✭✭✭KingOfFairview


    There will, nay can, be no better thread title than this.


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,002 ✭✭✭Seedy Arling


    There will, nay can, be no better thread title than this.

    I came here to post just that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,089 ✭✭✭✭LizT


    I'd love to be a guy, just for a day...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 290 ✭✭Problem123456


    LizT wrote: »
    I'd love to be a guy, just for a day...

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=255


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    There will, nay can, be no better thread title than this.

    for all people's complaining that AH is nothing but dole,church and foreigners threads you get gems like this and it makes it all worthwhile


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34,788 ✭✭✭✭krudler


    LizT wrote: »
    I'd love to be a guy, just for a day...

    I'd love to be a woman but I'd never even leave the house, how women get anything done and dont just fondle their boobs all day is beyond me


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    Real men do the smooth criminal.

    It took me awhile but I got it! Hyuck Hyuck!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,557 ✭✭✭mewe




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,609 ✭✭✭stoneill


    Over the shoulder - that's the way.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,801 ✭✭✭Ruudi_Mentari


    Those words are funny together, and they make a good couple.

    I just don't want to hear the details of their marriage ok..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Ape Lincoln


    I also do the 'Smooth Criminal'. Ypu take a good few steps back from the toilet, lean forward and aim you Johnson down. It's not hard. That or wait for the erection to pass.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,435 ✭✭✭wandatowell


    Duggy747 wrote: »
    Piss in the bath tub

    I was very very close to pissing in my shower one morning.


    Usually a thought like that would be wiped immediately from my mind but this one particular morning this random thought just lingered and lingered. I had reasoned with myself that I was in the house well over a year and I had pee'd nowhere else apart from the toilet so I owed myself to have a random pee in the shower.



    I quite literally had to fight myself to make myself not pee in the shower.





    wtf??


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 507 ✭✭✭mark17j


    MJ23 wrote: »
    Every single morning. Have to sit down to piss with it too.
    How frequent is your piss horn?
    never heard of anyone needing to sit to pee with a "piss horn" :confused:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    Yep, every morning or night if I wake up and need to pee. It's so annoying!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    o1s1n wrote: »
    Haha, you piss like a girl.

    Sometimes its better to do it that way as the piss can often come out in 2 different directions. Also, if its going to be quickly followed up by a number 2, then it saves you the bother of sitting down and then getting back up again.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,933 ✭✭✭holystungun9


    Duggy747 wrote: »
    Piss in the bath tub

    I love a good fountain.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,414 ✭✭✭kraggy


    I've never understood the concept of a piss horn.

    Yeah, I've an erection every morning, and I invariably need to piss as well, but one does not cause the other in my experience.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    mark17j wrote: »
    never heard of anyone needing to sit to pee with a "piss horn" :confused:

    If you don't literally put your lad into the bowl to pee while on a horn, youll be cleaning the floor, wall(s) and possibly the ceiling if you dare loosen your grip!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,388 ✭✭✭KingOfFairview


    I used to do a sort of planking maneuver, but still more often than not the floor would get watered


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,804 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

    Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,798 ✭✭✭goose2005


    Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

    Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?

    well, no, because .. do you need a diagram?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    Think someone needs "the talk".
    Not it!:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,046 ✭✭✭0ph0rce0


    Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

    Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?

    Slashfanny hahaha, i cant stop laughing, **** me this place is mad :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

    Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?


    The closest female equivalent I've heard is "breaking the seal", after that, well, no :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,388 ✭✭✭KingOfFairview


    Speaking of which, have we agreed on a slang for the female equivalent of horn? I've heard 'widender' and 'wetser' but neither is much cop really


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ringadingding


    kraggy wrote: »
    I've never understood the concept of a piss horn.

    Yeah, I've an erection every morning, and I invariably need to piss as well, but one does not cause the other in my experience.

    You get an erection to stop you pîssing yourself whilst asleep


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Speaking of which, have we agreed on a slang for the female equivalent of horn? I've heard 'widender' and 'wetser' but neither is much cop really


    From female friends of mine - "a wide-on", no? :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭bumper234


    Ah yes the old Morning wood.


    also PMSL @ slashfanny :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    Slashfanny heh heh heh... Sounds like an almighty std!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,236 ✭✭✭jigglypuffstuff


    Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

    Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?


    Im in tears, actual tears!! haha


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,804 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    Mine stops me rolling out of bed.


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 904 ✭✭✭MetalDog


    The Piss Horn can be remedied by the technique known to all and sundry as the Giraffe Piss: Simply spread your legs wide and angle the boner towards the bowl with the heel of your hand, not unlike a giraffe bending to drink at the watering hole.

    Or just piss in the shower. Who cares? :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,162 ✭✭✭crackcrack30


    A handstand against the bathroom door provides the best downward angle.

    - Best practice is to lock the door........


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,531 ✭✭✭recyclebin


    Is there a female equivalent of piss horn ladies?

    Something like "Jesus girl,I woke up with some slashfanny on me this morning?

    Quote of the day


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    What does this have to do with age?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,798 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    How are you supposed to sit down to piss when your morning horn is trumpeting? Wouldn't the angle mean you'd essentially be pissing over the seat and onto the floor in front of the jacks? :confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,798 ✭✭✭✭hatrickpatrick


    As an afterthought, the only way I can possibly imagine being able to piss into the bowl with a horn would be to lean forward so I was doing a handstand in front of the jacks, feet up on the wall behind it, and piss that way... Seems like a huge amount of effort to me?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    How do chicks piss if they have an enormous wide on?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    How do chicks piss if they have enormous wide on?

    Might involve an equally enormous traffic cone..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    I have to use both hands to aim my angry, blue veined, diamond cutting morning woodie whilst urinating.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    Might involve an equally enormous traffic cone..

    Piss cone. I like it


  • Advertisement
Advertisement