Questions atheists are sick of answering. Aaaand Biscuits again, of course.

lazygal

http://www.buzzfeed.com/seancurry1/questions-atheists-are-sick-of-answering

Some good questions and answers here. Apologies if its been posted before.

SebBerkovich

I wonder if there's an Atheism+ version of that list with the addition of

16. Fancy a cup of coffee?

Mr. CooL ICE

"If you don't believe in God, then what do you believe in?"


*smack*

ShooterSF

"You dont believe in God?"
"No."
"Well what do you think happens to you when you die?"

Its amazing how often that's the first question, worded a few different ways, once someone has established the fact that Im an atheist. Very few ever seem interested in my reasons for not believing in their god. Maybe that's why some religious seem to have no problem with people believing in other gods as long as they pick one!

"What have you got to live for?".

Penn

"What if you're wrong?"

It's actually kind of a genius question though, because you can't reply "What if you're wrong?"

If God does exist and there is an afterlife, I'm wrong and I go to Hell.
If God doesn't exist and there is no afterlife, you'll never know you were wrong.

Akrasia

I always go for the Homer Simpson response to that one “And what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week we’re just making God madder and madder.”

Sarky

As an atheist, I am sick of being asked "Do you want fries with that?" No I don't! If I did, I'd have said "I'd like some fries with that"! Quit trying to make my choices for me and assuming you know what I meant to say damn it!

endacl

I'm kinda sick of saying 'no, I'll do it myself' when young fellas arrive at the door, pushing a lawnmower and touting for business.

Really must get around to that. Knee high now....

Sarky

Leave it a little longer, then get yourself a scythe. Scythes are badass. Nobody will come near your lawn again.

magicbastarder

LordChessington wrote: »

"If you don't believe in God, then what do you believe in?"


*smack*

answer 'i believe the children are our future; teach them well and let them lead the way'.

endacl

ShooterSF wrote: »

"You dont believe in God?"
"No."
"Well what do you think happens to you when you die?"

Worm partaaaaaaayyyyy!!

eviltwin

"why don't you just go out and rob a bank or kill someone since you don't believe God will judge you"

Eh, cause I don't want to go to jail and besides its wrong?

"You're just rebelling against your Catholic upbringing aren't you"

No, I'm 36, I'm not 13

SebBerkovich

eviltwin wrote: »

"You're just rebelling against your Catholic upbringing aren't you"

No, I'm 36, I'm not 13

Soon as i turn 36.. i'm totally using that.

Galvasean

"But you have to believe in SOMTHEEEEEEEEEENNNNGGGG!!!!!!"

Uh... why?

Brian Shanahan

Sarky wrote: »

Leave it a little longer, then get yourself a scythe. Scythes are badass. Nobody will come near your lawn again.

Buy a goat, same effect lower maintenance.

endacl

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

Buy a goat, same effect lower maintenance.

Hmmmmmm.....

Buy both. Chase goat with scythe. Job done quicker, plus scared-goat manure....

Any 'accidents' could be dinner.

clairefontaine

I say I just don't think he's that important.

sephir0th

This usually works as a rebuttal to most of those dumb questions:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZpJ7yUPwdU

Bannasidhe

Sarky wrote: »

Leave it a little longer, then get yourself a scythe. Scythes are badass. Nobody will come near your lawn again.

I have one he can borrow. I do enjoy swinging a scythe. There is something so satisfying about it.

It's nearly as much fun as making a scale model of a major city out of cardboard and pretending to be Godzilla...or so I have heard...

Sarky

Bannasidhe wrote: »

I have one he can borrow. I do enjoy swinging a scythe. There is something so satisfying about it.

It's nearly as much fun as making a scale model of a major city out of cardboard and pretending to be Godzilla...or so I have heard...

[url=https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/16986/260165.jpg[/url]

Akrasia

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

Buy a goat, same effect lower maintenance.

Hold on, as a skeptic, I must query how a goat can be lower maintainance than a Scythe?

Responsible goat ownership would require significant outley of time and resources (i refer you to the British goat association guidelines
http://www.allgoats.com/)

where as a scythe is just a blade on a stick

Bannasidhe

Akrasia wrote: »

Hold on, as a skeptic, I must query how a goat can be lower maintainance than a Scythe?

Responsible goat ownership would require significant outley of time and resources (i refer you to the British goat association guidelines
http://www.allgoats.com/)

where as a scythe is just a blade on a stick

A blade on a stick which requires sharpening...on the other hand it is unlikely to eat your underwear off the line so good point.

the_syco

Number 4; who made your god? If and why, if your god existed forever, can the universe not have existed forever?

wretcheddomain

"So you believe in nothing then?"

Such a stupid question given that believing in nothing is still having a belief in something.

Moreover, since when did it become 'God or Nothing'.

Of course, my answer is, "I believe in nothing supernatural, if that answers your question."

Hotblack Desiato

the_syco wrote: »

Number 4; who made your god? If and why, if your god existed forever, can the universe not have existed forever?

It is unlikely that the observable evidence existed forever, because we observe it to be expanding at an increasing rate. Therefore there must have been a time in the past when the universe was infinitely compact. The remnants of the Big Bang are observable today. However we cannot postulate about a time before the Big Bang. We may live in the only universe that ever existed. We may live in one of an infinite cycle of bang/crunch events. We may be a Flatland-like curiosity for dwellers of a four-dimensional universe (as discussed by Carl Sagan here.) We may be living in a simulation inside a supercomputer of unimaginable power. We may be a brain in a jar fed falsified inputs. Ultimately we don't know and can't tell and it doesn't really matter anyway.

Turning your statement on its head, we can say that if the universe required a creator and the creator is god, why does god not require a creator also?

Turtwig

I know it's totally fecking inane but for questions relating to the universe's creation. I usually just tell the person asking that I believe they themselves created the universe and trapped the rest of us inside it. When they deny it I just remind them that as they can't remember their own birth they can't prove they didn't.

PopePalpatine

I think it's something that parents will have to endure: "Shure let him make his Communion/Confirmation, shure what harm will it do?"

SebBerkovich

I remember watching a debate on Canadian TV. It had Dawkins and a few other folk from the spectrum. There was a religious moderate who just kept going on about how "God means love" (as i recall Dawkins eyes almost rolled back into a 4th dimension) but there was also a really smug looking super zealot. He got his opportunity to ask Dawkins a question near the end of the show.

He asked Dawkins something like "Can you stop your heart from beating" then he followed up a confused look from Dawkins with "of course you can't only GOD can stop someones heart from beating"

Dawkins probably has a list of questions he sick of answering, but i wonder when he comes across something a crazy as this does it help break up the monotony a bit.

(i'm sure there's a video of this around the tubes somewhere)

Duggy747

I dodge these debates like the plague, the same questions always come up and people get angry, defensive, and then smug when they ask me them................and it's always them who start the goddamn topic and won't let me change the subject (which they mistake or take as a "HA, you don't have the answers, do ya!?!")

"Well.............what's the point of living, then!?!

Um.........because I like to live and experience this one life that I have? If your idea of the afterlife is going to be great then why are you still living this life where you're subject to pain and sickness as opposed to eternal bliss?

"What about morals?"

I attribute that to being raised good by my parents and knowing the difference between right and wrong as opposed to acting nice in case God punishes me.

"Your "science" can't answer everything, that's just your opinion." - This usually comes from "spiritual" people big into their Woo.

"That's just your belief"

It's not a belief!!

"Atheists only are just rebelling"

Against who, Mammy?

"Why do you even celebrate Xmas, then?" *smug face*

I like Xmas, and........*harp on about the Winter Solstice and it's hijacking*

"Derren Brown / X Atheist say psychics do exist and such powers exist"

Ara' now, come on.....

"You have to believe in something, though!"

Why do I, why is that so hard to comprehend and why does it bother you so much? What business is it of yours?

"Well, we won't know until we die"

Then leave me the hell alone.

wretcheddomain

Jernal wrote: »

I know it's totally fecking inane but for questions relating to the universe's creation. I usually just tell the person asking that I believe they themselves created the universe and trapped the rest of us inside it. When they deny it I just remind them that as they can't remember their own birth they can't prove they didn't.

If I play Devil's Advocate for a second, if I were a Christian, I'd probably reply by asking you 'How did you acquire that knowledge, where is the source?', because if you ask them that they'll say 'The Bible', and they'll take confidence in the fact they have a source (however inane) and you don't. I know where you're coming from of course but I think that's how believers would irritatingly argue against you and feel quite proud about it in the process.