Surrogacy would you do it?

family10

intrested in surrogacy just wondering would any one carry a baby and then hand it over?
I'd Love to help someone who was unable to carry a baby them self.
I have 3 of my own so it be nice to help someone else
the queston would you do it?

Sauve

I think I probably would, but only to help out a family member or very close friend. It'd be too much to go through for any other reason I think.

MurdyWurdy

I always said I would, once I had had my own children first. However, having recently been pregnant and suffered from hyperemesis, I now know I couldn't. Being that sick for four months, and having it take over my life to the detriment of everything else is just not something I could do for someone else. It wouldn't be fair on my family.

I like the idea of it though! I think it would be the most amazing gift to give someone.

meeeeh

Not a chance. They can adopt.

ladysarah

It would be a very difficult thing to do as you have no idea how you will feel until the baby is born. I personally could not do it,

liquoriceall

meeeeh wrote: »

Not a chance. They can adopt.

Where from? Its nigh on impossible to adopt
I would do it for family & a close friend but couldnt do it for a stranger

pwurple

meeeeh wrote: »

Not a chance. They can adopt.

See the Hague convention of 2010. Intercountry adoption is pretty much halted since then, and I don't know a single orphanage in this country anymore.

Surrogacy I would do for a good friend in a second, but I don't think I would be a good candidate. Blood type that doesn't play with others, and history of miscarriage.

Queen-Mise

Would seriously consider it and seriously considered it a few years ago (probably past it now) but I would want financial bonus for doing it - seemingly you are not allowed to be paid for it over here (other than expenses incurred).

December2012

The only person who I would consider doing it for would be for my own daughters if they needed it when they are grown up. However due to my age that is highly unlikely. They are the only ones I love enough to go through it.

lazygal

No. I know for certain I'd never do it. I hate pregnancy, its restrictions and complications, and only the anticipated arrival of our child gets me through. I'd never put up with it for someone else, no matter how much they wanted a child.

wolfpawnat

If my best friend asked, without a doubt, straight away, and regardless, I have dibs of most spoiling auntie . I would like to think I would do it for anyone I would think would be good parents, but on condition it was not my egg, I am not sure I would be able to look at someone else raise a child with my genes.

meeeeh

liquoriceall wrote: »

Where from? Its nigh on impossible to adopt
I would do it for family & a close friend but couldnt do it for a stranger

I know it's very hard to adopt. However I also know I would find it extremely hard to carry a child for someone else and would not do it. Not just because I hate being pregnant but because I would be afraid what kind of psichological consequences it would have. I would also always decide for abortion and not adoption in case of unwanted pregnancy.

beks101

Definitely not.

It's such a huge thing to put your body through without getting emotionally involved and I know for sure I wouldn't be able to hand the baby over without serious emotional trauma.

Das Kitty

No.

I'm rubbish at being pregnant.

WinterSong

I'm a big fan of never saying never, but I'm as sure as I possibly can be that I wouldn't want to be a surrogate. I don't even know if I'd have my own children yet, so I very much doubt I could go through pregnancy and not have the motivation, for want of a better word, of a baby at the end of it. I don't even know how suitable I'd be for it, biologically speaking; I have endometriosis and while I know it reduces my chances of conceiving naturally I don't know how it affects my ability to actually carry a foetus to term.

If I ever was going to do it though, it would only be for my very best friend, because I'd do pretty much anything for her. But it's all so hypothetical, especially with my specific health/fertility issues, and intuitively my brain just screams "no way!"

Neyite

I loved being pregnant, probably because I had a very easy pregnancy with no sickness or nausea, no stretchmarks, no major issues that a lot of women encounter so on that score I wouldn't be worried.

I don't think I could do it for money, or for a couple that I didn't know. If it was for a sibling, and if I'd completed my own family, and if I was still physically low risk enough due to age to carry then I would consider it if needed.

ted1

Just had this talk with my wife and we both agreed at would be something we would do for a family member or close friend. We have 2 lovely girls and if we could give someone the happiness of a child we would.

I say we because pregnancy involves both of use, crazy hormones, foot rubs, back rubs, change if social life etc.

Digs

Having experienced the joy and happiness a baby has brought to my life I would like to think it would be something I would do (only for my siblings or best friend). From a physical aspect I didn't have it "easy" (morning sickness until 24 weeks and horrible pelvic pain) but I coped quite well and don't feel this aspect of it would prevent me, given the reasons for it. I also had a fantastic birthing experience and was back to myself really quickly.

On the other hand the thoughts of having to give my daughter away are literally terrifying. I don't know how the brain could emotionally detach from the person your body carried for 9 months and realise they belonged to someone else.

On the whole, for me the emotional scars outweigh the physical so I would have to say no.

eviltwin

No. I went so far as to go through the process of egg donation once, I'd finished my family and thought since I wasn't going to need all mine why not give them to someone who could possibly use them to have a family but in the counselling sessions it became clear that mentally it wasn't something I could do. Up to that point I didn't think I would have a problem but looking back I was doing it for the wrong reasons. Imagine how much harder it would be when its an actual pregnancy/baby

I have total respect for anyone who does it cause I found it hard enough being pregnant with my own children but I don't think its something I could do.

Mugatuu

wolfpawnat wrote: »

If my best friend asked, without a doubt, straight away, and regardless, I have dibs of most spoiling auntie . I would like to think I would do it for anyone I would think would be good parents, but on condition it was not my egg, I am not sure I would be able to look at someone else raise a child with my genes.

I was discussing this exact point with my sister recently! I found out I can't have children myself but through an egg donation I'd be able to have a child then, my sister said she would find it incredibly difficult giving me an egg as she would look at the child as being half her own child as it contained half her genes. That and she questioned whether she would tell her own children that she did it and they possibly have another biological relation almost another sister/brother

SarahBeep!

There is no way in a million years I could be that selfless.

wolfpawnat

Mugatuu wrote: »

I was discussing this exact point with my sister recently! I found out I can't have children myself but through an egg donation I'd be able to have a child then, my sister said she would find it incredibly difficult giving me an egg as she would look at the child as being half her own child as it contained half her genes. That and she questioned whether she would tell her own children that she did it and they possibly have another biological relation almost another sister/brother

I just would spend my life wondering, what do they look like, do they look my kids that I have, would my kids meet them someday. I am not sure I could give it up even after the end of the pregnancy as I would feel "it is half me" Non genetically related I would have to use rationale and remind myself I was only a carrier, I am not related to this child, but if my eggs were used, I think I would find it a lot harder, if not impossible.

iguana

I had a tough pregnancy, being incredibly sick, becoming unable to tolerate dairy, having SPD and needing an emergency section after 80 hours in labour but if it was for a close family member I'd definitely consider it. I don't think I love my son the way I do because he grew inside me so I think I could carry a niece, nephew or grandchild and accept not being the baby's parent. I think that the pay off for me would be knowing how much joy I had given to someone I love. Though I would prefer to never be in a position to find out.

sari

Wow what a tough question I don't think anyone could truthfully answer unless they are in that situation. The idea behind it, to give a couple a child, is so selfless and must be an amazing thing to do although extremely hard at the same time. I think one of the hardest thing for me would be dealing with breastmilk. I believe breastmilk is so important for babies and the idea that I could not put that child to my breast and nourish it nutritionally and emotionally the way it's meant to would be the hardest thing.

Malari

sari wrote: »

Wow what a tough question I don't think anyone could truthfully answer unless they are in that situation. The idea behind it, to give a couple a child, is so selfless and must be an amazing thing to do although extremely hard at the same time. I think one of the hardest thing for me would be dealing with breastmilk. I believe breastmilk is so important for babies and the idea that I could not put that child to my breast and nourish it nutritionally and emotionally the way it's meant to would be the hardest thing.

No, I can answer :pac: There's no way I'd do it. Not a chance in hell.

I don't ever want to be pregnant with my own child so I wouldn't do it for anyone else, no matter how important they were to me.

sari

Well if you don't want any kids of your own I can't imagine anyone ever asking you to be a surrogate

lazygal

I can say for certain I would not need to be in a situation where I was asked to be a surrogate to know I would never do it. I might have thought about it in an abstract way once upon a time, but since I've been pregnant I know with absolute certainty I will never do it, no matter how close a friend or family member it was.

maryishere

No, I would never do it. However I think it would be the most amazing gift ever to give someone.

akamossy

Most definitely not. It's a great thing to be able to do for someone but I know I would not be able to hand over a baby I carried for 9 months. I know my limitations I guess and I wouldn't put myself or the person id be carrying the baby for through it.

IvyTheTerrible

No way. I had a really easy pregnancy in comparison with a lot of women. But I don't know, the idea of being pregnant and feeling the baby moving and connecting with it, and then having to give it away, I don't think emotionally I would be able for that. Especially for someone I know, as then I would be seeing the child all the time. No. Too hard.

vitani

I'd consider it for my sister, if she ever needed it.

I found it hard during my pregnancy to even grasp the concept that there was a baby growing inside me. It wasn't until my daughter was born and I began taking care of her that I really started to bond with her. So, I absolutely believe that I could distance myself enough from the child if I knew from the start that he/she wasn't mine.

Lia_lia

The idea of carrying my own baby freaks me out enough as it is



But I dunno, maybe if I'd already had kids and it was for a close family member.
I really can't say though because I haven't been pregnant before so don't know what it's like..

shinikins

I would. I'd do it in a heartbeat for my sister, but I think it would take longer to come around to a decision for a stranger.

Sala

I would for my sister, not a stranger. I would much prefer if there was no biological link, - I don't think I could do it if it was my egg

tinkerbell

No way. I wouldn't do it for anyone and nothing on this earth would change my mind.

Mc Kenzie

It is amazing that people have these options now. However for me personally I think I would become too attached emotionally it would be hard to part with the child. And If someone was a surrogate for me I would be worried I wouldn't be a connection with the child.

I do think its amazing if people are ok with it. But that's my own view. Saying that I have never had a child or been pregnant so maybe that's why. I would like the experience.

iwantmydinner

I'd love to think I'd do it for my sisters or my best friends... However I think I'd have to have already gone through my own pregnancies before I could agree to it. So I can't give a definite answer yet. If I'd had difficult pregnancies or births, I'm not sure I could do it, even for a couple I dearly love.

I certainly wouldn't do it for a stranger or in some kind of commercial transaction; I believe that's fairly common in India.

confusticated

Interesting that a lot of people are saying they'd do it for a sister...what about a brother and his wife/girlfriend/partner? Just wondering!

I don't think I could do it for anyone tbh. Physically and emotionally it'd just be too hard.

iwantmydinner

confusticated wrote: »

Interesting that a lot of people are saying they'd do it for a sister...what about a brother and his wife/girlfriend/partner? Just wondering!

Don't have brothers!

vitani

confusticated wrote: »

Interesting that a lot of people are saying they'd do it for a sister...what about a brother and his wife/girlfriend/partner? Just wondering!

Personally, I wouldn't. The bond I have with my sister is unique and is the only reason I'd consider it. I couldn't be pregnant for any other woman and watch them be mother afterwards.

Suucee

Don't think I could do it to be honest. Have a daughter and plan on having more so cant imagine carrying a baby, seeing the scans, hearing the heart beat, feeling him/her kick or hiccup and then hand him or her over for someone else to raise.
Saying all that if I had my family completed and my sister couldn't I think I would consider it. Id love to be able to give her what I have but I still think it would be difficult.
I don't think I would do it for my Brother and SIL probably because they have 4 kids already and my sister doesn't have any yet. Also im a lot closer to my sis as there is a big age gap between myself and my brother so were never really that close.